Open and honest communication is essential between the board and the minister. Here are some guidelines and practices to help navigate difficult conversations.

In UU congregations, conflict avoidance, a sense of urgency, and either/or thinking can make it difficult to engage conflicts well. We will learn to engage conflicts of various kinds in ways that lead toward Beloved Community.

Being able to name harmful behaviors is the first step in being able to respond to them.

The mental model of the "Social Discipline Window" can be helpful in understanding different patterns of how we might respond when someone is causing harm in our communities.

Our faith calls us to resist the temptation to weaponize words. This story shows how hard that can be.

Right Relations Teams are lay leaders entrusted to help the congregation practice faithful communication and creative conflict based on values of mutuality and consent.

The following (from the Northlake UU Church in Kirkland, WA) is an example of a chater (or charge) for a Right Relationship Team (aka Healthy Congregation Team): Purposes: To facilitate the well-being of the _________ Community by fostering harmonious relations and mediating conflicts within the...

Support and accountability for different aspects of right relationship lie within different parts of the congregation. 

A polarity is an interdependent pair of needs, values, or goals. Although the two poles seem to be in tension with each other, both are good and true, and they depend on each other over time. Neither can exist alone. Use Polarity Thinking to reframe competing needs as complementary.

Our covenants articulate our intention, but how do we live into the practice? Right Relations Teams are lay leaders entrusted to help the congregation practice faithful communication and creative conflict based on values of mutuality and consent. 

This resource may be helpful in understanding and using different kinds of circles in your congregation, and the kind of practice and training that are needed for each.

Difficult conversations are... well, difficult. And then church adds a whole other layer of complexity. What does our Unitarian Universalist theology tell us about conflict and difficult conversations?

There are very predictable outcomes from congregations where there has been boundary violations. These outcomes persist until intentionally challenged and changed—they continue well beyond the tenure of the misbehaving person, and even when the behavior may not be remembered.

Restorative Circles are a UU congregation tested way to restore relationships, build community and resolve conflict.

There are usually three conversations underlying our communication with each other. How can you untangle them?

We live in anxious times, and this anxiety spills into our workplaces, homes, neighborhoods, and congregations. How can we productively work with anxiety? How can we prepare ourselves and our congregations for anxious challenges that may arise?

Not all conflict is alike. Different kinds of conflict require different kinds of responses. This is an overview of a model of conflict by Alban Institute consultant Speed Leas.

Living in a committed, covenantal community is a great way to avoid destructive conflict.

What can the congregation do in a crisis to avoid a crash during conflict? The solution mostly falls to the work of the driver of the car or the congregational leaders.

“He said, she said, they said, and now we have a conflict!” “I don’t remember what we fought about, but I do remember how I felt when you yelled at me.” “When I hid the ‘send’ key, I didn’t expect this reaction!” “Now that we are in the parking lot, let me tell you what I...

Learning how to be in community with people who have different opinions or experiences is essential in UU congregations.

In marriage we have vows and in congregations we have behavioral covenants. Without intention and agreements on how to process disagreements and conflicts, vows and covenants can end up meaningless, or even harmful. In other words, we need to agree on how to fight, for fight we will. In this...

Learn about how to prevent destructive conflict in meetings by nurturing a culture that promotes respectful communication and creative interchange.

Is rudeness a quality of Unitarian Universalism? How else to explain the lack of hospitality exhibited by many congregations toward unbidden guests? This workshop will explore the prevalence of rudeness in our society, how it is seeping through the walls of our congregations, and what we can do...

Restorative Practices build community and can help set things right when the integrity of the community is challenged by harmful behaviors.

This webinar helps leaders discern how to separate disruptive behaviors from persons to create a peaceful community.

Too often our leaders lead from unexamined fear and frustration. We need to lead from our hopes as embodied in the vision of the Beloved Community.

Is your congregation being held hostage? Is there a troublesome personality who tries to get his or her own way by withholding money, by loud assertive behavior, or by misusing Joys and Concerns?...

When we engage in reconciliation--which is different than an apology or forgiveness--we invite change that will transform a relationship.