Unitarian Universalists are a covenantal people, which means we are bound together by the sacred promises we make to ourselves and each other. If you’re not UU, feel free to substitute “community agreements” for the word covenant. These are agreements about how we will be together, what we can expect from each other, and what we are accountable to.

What Happens at the Covenant Lighthouse?

A covenant is a living document, evolving with your community’s needs and experiences. You may choose to have a pre-drafted covenant available to participants at the first meeting or a one off gathering to set the tone and make expectations about behaviors clear. But it’s important if the group is going to be together for a longer period of time that they craft their own covenant so that they have buy-in for upholding it. Covenant making is a collaborative process and the dialogue generated in the process is just as, if not more, important than the document created.

In the Community Building Map to Deeper Joy these agreements are represented by a lighthouse because the covenant is a beacon light that a group should be able to identify from anywhere on the map. You can turn to the covenant when you’ve lost your way to help the group reorient.

Our covenants should be anti-oppressive documents. An important job for you as a facilitator is to ask provocative questions to help the group explore what they mean when they add things like “respect” or “assume good intentions.” This can be a good time to seed a conversation about cultural and generational differences when it comes to expectations for behavior. Pay close attention to additions intended to avoid conflict or otherwise “keep the peace,” which may point to unconscious bias that upholds white supremacy culture, aka the status quo.

If you have a group that’s experienced covenant making before, there will likely be some insider language offered that you will need to unpack such as “don’t yuck someone’s yum,” (allow people their personal preferences) “croissants not donuts” (when hanging out make sure there’s always room for others to join) or “the Vegas rule” (what’s said here stays here, barring shares about safety risks and harm).

Inherent in living in covenant is the admission that we are imperfect humans and we’re not going to get it right every single time. As Martin Buber says “we are a promise making, promise keeping, promise breaking and promise renewing people.” So make sure your covenanting conversation includes talk about grace, making amends, and repair.

There’s no one way to make a covenant, so this section of the Community Building Map to Deeper Joy gives you options for the styles of covenants and methods for creating them.

More Deeper Joy Resources

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Covenant Lighthouse Activities