Opening Up Beach

A cartoon map of Community Building through Deeper Joy, showing the location of a canyon, lighthouse, forest, river, beach, springs, bay, harbor and canyons.

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When an individual can share about areas of their life with an amount of disclosure that feels right to them and is accepted by group members, an exciting step in group growth has taken place. If one person perceives that another is genuinely interested in their story and what makes them unique, the conditions for trust are being tended. We call this place on the map Opening Up Beach.

What Happens in the Opening Up Beach?

An initial stage of community building is to engage in low risk experiments with vulnerability. The individual is discerning what parts of themself are welcome and will thrive in this community, what needs the community might meet and what their boundaries need to be. This is the time for not just celebrating what we have in common, but discovering and relishing in our differences. Think of the group as beachcombers at this stage, offering up the little treasures inside themselves and seeking them out in each other.

When a group is playing with the concept of opening up to each other, this is a great time to introduce touch groups/care groups/touch base groups/gaggle groups or small group ministry by any other name.

Discovering diversity and welcoming it in is the goal at the Opening Up Beach. Opening up activities accomplish their goal best when there is facilitation that can hold the parameters of the discussion, activity or practice and explicit group guidelines so that participants can feel free to experiment within the agreed upon boundaries without fear of mistakenly doing or saying something that may get them “cast out.” The right to pass or pass for now is an important part of creating a community vibe that uplifts autonomy and agency in the individual’s participation.

Many games involve sharing in creative ways, with noise and music instead of words. These can be just as powerful for a group at this stage. Choose which activities you think will help participants gain some enthusiasm about the thicker connections they are developing in the group.

Opening Up Beach Activities

In This Section

Bite Sized Answers
From Deeper Joy

Parameters: more than 2 people, in person. Can be done on video call. Make up questions to go with the different colors, (red=what’s your favorite movie for example). Give everyone a handful of candy or beads. Go around the circle and answer questions one piece at a time.
Connection Cards
From Deeper Joy

Parameters: 5 or more people, in person or on video call. Present the cards or slides and invite participants to choose a card/slide based on a given prompt like “pick a card/slide that speaks to what kind of week you had” or “…that reminds you of something from your childhood.”
Don't Think
From Deeper Joy

Parameters: more than 2 people, can be done in person, or on video call. The facilitator writes a bunch of prompts with blanks on cards (Ex: My favorite food right now is ____, a movie that I could watch over and over again is ____, my favorite place at church is ____, etc). Participants answer.
Hand or Sound Jive
From Deeper Joy

Parameters: Two or more people. Can be played in person or in breakout rooms online. Take turns attempting to describe a predetermined part of their lives—their room, name, family, etc. without words.
Mx. Whosit
From Deeper Joy

Parameters: More than 2 people. If there are more than 10 in your group, form small groups, in person or virtually. Ask who consents to potentially be Mx. Whosit. The lead secretly chooses another person in the group to be Mx. Whosit. Each person tries to find out who the lead is thinking of.
One And Only
From Deeper Joy

Parameters: More then 2 people. If there are more than 10 in your group, form small groups of 5 to 10 people. Can be done in person or virtually. Ask each member of the group to write a fact about their life that others in the group may not know. Let the group try to guess whom each fact describes.
Small Group Ministry Session Outline
From Deeper Joy

Parameters: Best for groups of 5-8 people who come together more than once (ex: 2x during an overnighter, weekly on Sundays, etc.) This goes by many names in Unitarian Universalist communities: chalice circles, touch groups, gaggle groups, touch base groups, and care groups are but a few.
The Animal Game
From Deeper Joy

Parameters: More than 2 people. If there are more than 10 in your group, form small groups of 4 to 8 people. Works well in person or online. Each person writes on a piece of scratch paper or in a private message to the facilitator animal they would choose to be and in what setting.
The Name Game
From Deeper Joy

Parameters: Two or more people. If there are more than 10 in your group, form small groups of 2 to 8 people. Can be done virtually or in person. Invite group members to tell a story or draw/collage about a part of their name.
The Pie of Life
From Deeper Joy

Parameters: Two or more people. If there are more than 10 in your group, form small groups of 4 to 8 people. Can be done virtually, in person or asynchronously with a show and tell. Ask the group to think about and share the amount of time they spend doing different things.
Tower of Questions
From Deeper Joy

Parameters: more than two people, in person. Write get to know you questions (do you play a sport? what’s your favorite band/musician right now? for example) on Jenga blocks. As people remove a block, they answer the question before placing it back on top.
Two Truths and A Lie
From Deeper Joy

Parameters: Two or more people. Have each person in the group come up with two facts and one falsehood about themselves. Go around the circle and have each person present the three statements as if they are all true. Then have each member of the group guess which of the three statements is false.
Desert Island
From Deeper Joy

Parameters: two or more people, in person or online. People imagine they’re heading to a desert island and can bring one physical, tangible item with them. Invite each person to share, one at a time, what they would bring and why. Options to get artistic or make a playlist.
Keepie-Uppie Questions
From Deeper Joy

Take aways may include: Getting to know one another, identifying commonalities, having fun Parameters: Two or more people, in person Materials: Balloons, sharpie Blow up at least one balloon for about every 4-5 participants. Write a question on each balloon that can be answered in 1-2 sentences.