The future of Coming of Age must be rooted in a deep and abiding joy in community. A forward looking Coming of Age process invites celebration, kindness, and a recognition by the community of this present moment of the teenager and their family. The congregation celebrates the ongoing experience of each person who goes through our programs.

As we move into the future, we need to look at the role of credo writing in Coming of Age. We assign a huge task to teenagers to write a credo, no small undertaking at any age. What if, instead, together, we were to move away from promoting individualistic ways of thinking and towards embracing our many ways of knowing, towards community, towards celebration?

Given the unique purpose of Coming of Age in Unitarian Universalism, it is odd we’re so focused on the credo. As a religion, we don’t have a creed. We use formal creeds as Sources but we don’t adhere to them. What does a request for a written credo from a teenager add to the conversation? How do we better serve youth so that we are less concerned with a formal statement of faith? It is time we looked for new ways of expressing belief, identity, and community celebration.

Our congregations are in the practice of taking a year of Sunday religious education classes to help teenagers to write their own credo (Latin forI believe) statements which would be difficult for most adults. We call this process Coming of Age. We offer the teenagers readings while undertaking the credo writing process. It is common to present the Cambridge Platform of 1648, or at least key points from the document. A class might also read aloud from the Winchester Profession of Faith, a Universalist document written in 1803. These important documents provide contextual clarity, but don’t lessen the monumental task of writing and presenting a personal formal credo statement.

Instead of expecting a formal written credo, let’s celebrate all that the teenagers already have accomplished by arriving at this moment. In addition to their spiritual growth, reaching certain age markers earns teenagers the right to apply for a driver’s learner’s permit or the right to earn wages at their first paid job. As teens reach age 16 and beyond, perhaps the role of the congregation is to celebrate the agency and responsibility they see the teens gaining. The congregation can emphasize the importance of responsibility to others, the community as a whole. We can raise up the shared joys and sorrows like ecological responsibility and the interconnectedness of all existence.

We need not throw out the Coming of Age practice of considering one’s beliefs. Coming of Age is one of the unique aspects of our religion, let’s celebrate the differences from other religions’ rites. Youth have an open invitation to declare what they believe, and to change as they gain more experiences, too. Their own beliefs are an inherent part of the Coming of Age process as Unitarian Universalists.

Coming of Age isn’t just one day, or even a year of preparation for that one day. The process of becoming is lifelong. The congregation can make sure the teens are heard, respected, and celebrated, and affirm a promise to continue hearing, respecting, and celebrating these youth as they grow. What better way for a congregation to demonstrate to its youth that the process of Coming of Age can be based on mutual sharing. The celebration of Coming of Age is something that the entire congregation is invited to experience. We hold space for one another. We are asking something of the adults, asking them to witness and to joyfully celebrate and to mourn the child that has become a youth. The community, including the youth, mourn the child who was, and celebrate the youth who is now taking on new responsibilities. We want to celebrate people where they are right now.

Imagine a family ministry model of Coming of Age.

As Unitarian Universalist congregations are moving increasingly towards a family model of ministry, let’s incorporate this into our Coming of Age programs. Often, guardians and parents are newer to Unitarian Universalism, and the questions and information presented in a well formatted Coming of Age class would be useful for everyone involved. Let’s invite guardians and parents into the Coming of Age process. We can move away from emphasizing individual Coming of Age, and instead lift up the relationship with community that Coming of Age brings.

Grappling with the big questions of life and faith does not end in the teen years, and embodied lifelong learning and exploration would benefit the curriculum and families. As we also want to be inclusive, it might be that for some teens addressing a congregation during a Sunday service with parental support would be welcomed. Let’s involve the arts, different kinds of media, and all the generations that help us thrive as individuals and as a community.

Celebrate the teens. 

Let us spend more time asking the teens how it is that they want to be celebrated. We are not here to change them (Lerner, 2010.A Place of Wholeness.), but rather to celebrate the awesome people they are in this snapshot of a moment. As we ask big questions together, what points might we lift up to celebrate?

Unitarian Universalist congregations ask the teenagers what it is that they believe. Often, our teenages get there by deciding what they do NOT believe. What if, instead of defining ourselves in terms of what we are not, we defined ourselves in terms of celebration and joy? We celebrate Coming of Age because we value the teenager for who they are at that moment in time and show them they are worthy of the time and attention of the congregation and their right to self determination.

How can the adults show a community investment in the process of Coming of Age, and show the teens how invested we are in their process? Creating an updated, flexible, and inclusive curriculum in addition to training for the Coming of Age facilitators is needed. Part of the role of the well differentiated facilitator is to help articulate what Unitarian Universalism is and the easier question of what Unitarian Universalism is not. Unitarian Universalism is not a smorgasbord of beliefs. Instead, through Coming of Age, we can focus intentionally on carefully considered sense of values, self awareness, process, and curiosity.

A well balanced Coming of Age program will include both belief and process. The more we lean into the arts and our many ways of knowing, the more we can contextualize the process for the entire congregation and hopefully retain the teenagers within the congregation and our faith movement as they age.

Existential Dread and Ecological Grief 

For youth, coming to understand the complex nature of how dread and grief exist in the face of joy is part of their faith formation and meaning making process. The adult congregation has the opportunity to embrace and support the youth as they confront this complexity. We, as Unitarian Universalists, need to spend time cultivating and insisting upon joy. This cultivation of joy won’t necessarily be easy. Very real, visceral grief is part of the experience of existence. That’s why it is so important to cultivate joy; there’s a need for it. There’s a complex connection between these experiences of grief and joy that an entire congregation can hold in a way that any one individual cannot. That is a gift that we can give to each other, to hold together that grief and joy all at once.

The teens in our religious education classes today have been through so much, and have been asked to demonstrate resilience and perseverance through a global pandemic, systemic racism, climate change, and other factors. We will likely spend years measuring the impact of these events. The lived experiences of the teens inform their perception of the world. Adult leaders owe it to the teens to continually and gently ask them if we are on the right path together. In short, let’s trust the teens. Let’s ask them what they need and spend time listening to them as we remind them we exist in a network of mutuality. The teens give us a reason to celebrate; the congregation uplifts, celebrates, and grieves with one another.

Joy and grief are interconnected. Both are responsibilities of the community. We need community to hold that complexity. We need each other for this, and to be more fully ourselves. Our congregations must find ways to nurture youth’s self-understanding of what they value, care about, believe, while affirming that their credo is dynamic, and the community is here to support them in ongoing reflection, questioning, and worship.

The need for connection goes beyond the walls of the congregation. Enjoying a relationship and mutuality with nature is one of the great joys of life. Yet the teens are facing a reality that threatens that relationship. InLast Child in the Woods, Richard Louv writes, “Healing the broken bond between our young and nature—is in our self-interest… our mental, physical, and spiritual health depends upon it.” I hear teens speak with anger about ecological harm done by generations before them and how their generation will be left to deal with the impact. The very real effects of climate change will impact not just their lives but their ability and choice to have children. This ecological grief must be part of the new Coming of Age curriculum, and it is our task to help the teens grieve and rage in productive, peaceful, artistic ways.

Recently, I had the honor to co-facilitate a Spark Module on the Philosophy of Unitarian Universalist religious education. I noticed that many of my religious educator colleagues resonated with the idea of holding up Coming of Age as an ongoing process. Many affirmed that changing the formal written and recited credo is a way to provide accessibility and being more of a welcoming congregation. In my own experience, I’ve heard parents mention that having an event designed to tell the teens “we designed this space, this activity, this moment especially with you in mind, and you are most welcome” can be life affirming. When I speak to parents and to colleagues about more opportunities for expression of belief through art, movement, music, the conversation changes to a room of smiles and possibilities. These moments can also be fun for everybody involved. Why stay tied to old ways of thinking that no longer serve us? If interpretive dance is a freeing way forward, let’s dance!

Part of co-facilitating a Spark Module is reviewing with participants some historical context of Unitarian Universalism. In preparation for the course, I reviewed bothStone House Conversations andEssex Conversations. In the 1979Stone House Conversations, Rev. Raymond Manker offers this valuable guidepost for religious education, which can be applied to the Coming of Age program: “...Joy in living is a truly religious dimension.” The future of Coming of Age should hold joy as an integral part of the program and an ongoing aspect of Unitarian Universalism.

Coming of Age can be a time of celebration for the teens, their families, and the entire congregation that draws us together as a liberal faith, affirming that there are very few absolutes, but further questions drawing us forward. This important snapshot in time of their beliefs as teenagers offers all of us an incredible opportunity for celebration, kindness, and affirmation of the work our teens have done and the people they already are at this very moment.

I'd like to acknowledge the following sources for inspiration and information:

Dana, B., Jaeger, J., & Lerner, A. (2010). Sample Faith Statements. InA Place of Wholeness. Unitarian Universalist Association.

Leopold, A. (1968).A Sand County Almanac. Oxford University Press.

Louv, R. (2008, March).Last Child in the Woods - Children and Nature Movement. Richard Louv. Retrieved January 9, 2024

Manker, R. (1979).Stone House Conversations. Unitarian Universalist Association.

Sweeney, K. (2017). The Death of Sunday School and the Future of Faith Formation (PDF). New England Region of the Unitarian Universalist Association.