Workshop 4: Bereavement

Beautiful orange sunset over a deep blue ocean. — Tapestry is Sunsetting

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Part of Facing Death with Life

In This Section

Introduction
From Facing Death with Life

The dead are not under the earth, They are in the fire dying down, They are in the moaning rock, They are in the crying grass, They are in the forest, they are in the home: The dead are not dead. — Birago Diop, 20th century Senegalese poet and storyteller In this workshop, participants will…
Workshop-at-a-Glance
From Facing Death with Life

Activity Time Opening 5 minutes Activity 1: Grief Associations and Experiences 30 minutes Activity 2: Journaling 15 minutes Activity 3: All Our Losses 25 minutes Activity 4: Grief in Our Time 30 minutes For Next Time 5 minutes Closing 10 minutes…
Materials
From Facing Death with Life

Newsprint, markers, and tape Chalice, candle, and lighter or LED/battery-operated candle Our Covenant from Workshop 1 Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 5 Handout 2, Ways to Cope with Grief Three-ring binders with clear plastic covers, one for each participant who does not already have one…
Preparation
From Facing Death with Life

Read the resources listed in Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 4, from Workshop 3. Post Our Covenant from Workshop 1. Customize and make copies of Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 5 for all participants. Make copies of Handout 2, Ways to Cope with Grief….
Opening
From Facing Death with Life

Activity time: 5 minutes Light the chalice and share these words from Margaret Mead and Rhoda Metraux: Mourning has become unfashionable in the United States. The bereaved are supposed to pull themselves together as quickly as possible and to reweave the torn fabric of life…We do not allow…for…
Activity 1: Grief Associations and Experiences
From Facing Death with Life

Activity time: 30 minutes Invite participants to brainstorm words that they associate with grief and mourning. If after a little while there is a pause in the brainstorm, wait it out by keeping silence for a minute or two. This may allow space for unspoken ideas to come forth….
Activity 2: Journaling
From Facing Death with Life

Activity time: 15 minutes Share “What Personnel Handbooks Never Tell You,” a poem by James A. Autry, first published in 1992: They leave a lot out of the personnel handbooks. Dying, for instance. You can find funeral leave but you can’t find dying. You can’t find what to do when a guy…
Activity 3: All Our Losses
From Facing Death with Life

Activity time: 25 minutes Share this quote from “All Our Losses” by John H. Nichols: Since our experiences, perspectives, and theological orientations differ, giving advice is a hazardous matter for anyone. But there is more commonality in our approach to loss and grieving than it might seem.
Activity 4: Grief in Our Time
From Facing Death with Life

Activity time: 30 minutes Post the newsprint with Elizabeth Kübler-Ross’s stages of grief. Introduce a discussion, saying: Kübler-Ross’s work was very helpful when it was published in 1969. Her work pushed Western culture into a new understanding of grief. Contemporary understanding tells us…
For Next Time
From Facing Death with Life

Activity time: 5 minutes Share with participants any updates on upcoming plans. Distribute Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 5. Either distribute copies of Handout 3, Loss: The Litmus Test of a Religious Faith, from Workshop 3, or include a link to the handout in your customization of Handout 1.
Closing
From Facing Death with Life

Activity time: 10 minutes Distribute Handout 2, Ways to Cope with Grief and ask participants to read it. Invite them to gather in a circle, and, as they are ready, to read one item from the handout that appeals to them or to share their own way to cope with grief….
Leader Reflection and Planning
From Facing Death with Life

Make time for individual reflection and discussion with your co-leader after the conclusion of the workshop. Consider these questions: What worked well in today’s workshop? How can these elements or approaches be repeated or amplified in the future? What was most challenging?…
Handout 1: Looking Ahead to Workshop 5
From Facing Death with Life

The dead are not under the earth, They are in the fire dying down, They are in the moaning rock, They are in the crying grass, They are in the forest, they are in the home: The dead are not dead. — Birago Diop, 20th century Senegalese poet and storyteller For Next Time To prepare for the next…
Handout 2: Ways to Cope with Grief
From Facing Death with Life

Here are some ways others have found to cope with grief. What would you add? Create visual art: painting, collages, photography, or fabric art Put quotes on your refrigerator. Example: “I will turn to her as often as possible in gladness. I will even salute her with a laugh. The less I mourn her…

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The UUA is no longer updating Tapestry of Faith programs.

Workshop 4: Bereavement

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