When congregations find themselves suddenly lay-led, the two most urgent concerns are usually worship and pastoral care. It is natural to be concerned about these things, but we want to assure you that lay pastoral caregivers can be very effective at supporting people in the congregation, especially with some training - and we’ll point you to that!
Along with leading worship, providing pastoral care is a way that lay leaders can deepen their faith development and spiritual leadership (even in congregations with ministers). If you can lean in to training and supporting lay caregivers, you will hopefully discover that this sort of pastoral presence is a key gift that some of your members have to offer. Giving those folks a way to bring their gifts to the community is an act of receiving generously, and will strengthen the congregation.
Rev. Erica Baron
New England Region of the UUA
Essentials for Caring for One Another
- Pastoral Care is a ministry of listening and companioning, nothing more.
- Having good boundaries is a form of loving care
- It is not the congregation’s role to fix a situation, provide material support, provide counseling, etc. Be lovingly clear when someone asks you for support that you cannot provide.
- Occasionally, it may be helpful to share local resources with someone. Typically this is most helpful at the end of a conversation, and after asking for permission: “I have some ideas about resources that might be helpful. Would you like me to tell you about them?”
- Learn about your local social service agencies (food banks, housing assistance, etc.)
- It’s okay that some things are beyond the scope of a congregation.
- Know when to ask for help.
- No one should expect Lay Pastoral Care providers to replace a trained minister.
- Having a good small group ministry program can help take the pressure off the pastoral care team for companionship while -- at the same time -- embodying UU values. Group leaders can let the Pastoral Care Team know when a member is in need of additional pastoral care
Support for Your Pastoral Care Team
There are many opportunities and levels of training and support for your pastoral care team.
- Lay Pastoral Care Teams need some guidance (i.e. a “charge” or job description) and accountability (usually by the board in lay-led congregations). They need to be organized as a team. They should meet at least monthly as a team to support one another, and to communicate about the care needs of the congregation.
- Pastoral Care providers should have clear expectations (preferably a policy) to protect people’s privacy and dignity.
- The Lay Pastoral Care Team also needs to have a strong covenant with one another.
- Include a commissioning ritual for Lay Pastoral Care Associates so that the congregation knows and honors the work of the team.
- Consider contracting with a local chaplain or minister for pastoral care to help coordinate your lay pastoral care associates.
- Local community ministers (e.g. hospital chaplains) may be available when the need arises for a funeral or memorial service. The funeral home will also make these arrangements. If you want to conduct memorial services, you can use the book In Memoriam: A Guide to Modern Funeral and Memorial Services by Edward Searl
