All ministry endings cause different emotions in varying degrees, and each member and friend will have their own emotional processing. Leaders should be prepared to honor the various feelings that may come up, from grief, disappointment, and anger, to relief or even excitement.

Different types of ministerial departures tend to elicit reactions in a congregation. These different scenarios can give you a starting point as you lead your congregation through the transition.

There are also different kinds of troubled departures, which may have a lasting, negative impact on the congregation, and may need to be followed by special care.

Death of the Minister

The death of a minister serving a congregation amplifies the typical grief and loss at the end of the ministry. Some members may feel guilty if they wanted the ministry to end, and then the minister dies.

• Congregations will most often need a strong pastoral ministry to follow, whether they say this or not.
• Both the congregation and the family of the minister may rely on the UUA as a source of support.

Departure Due to Disability or Illness

An illness or disability that results in the end of a ministry will also amplify feelings at the end of the ministry. A minister who is no longer able to care for a congregation, or starts being cared for by the congregation, can result in their no longer being seen as minister. Seeing ministers in decline may also be hard on a congregation.

Note:

• Ministers with a new disability or illness should confer with their doctors, colleagues, and the UUA about their limits, their future, use of employment benefits, and options.
• Offering long-term disability benefits to the minister (and all staff) can ease the financial impact on the minister in these situations.

Departure for Another Congregational Ministry Position

Ministers often leave for a new congregational position, though sometimes the timing can surprise the congregation they are leaving. A shorter-than-expected tenure can cause a congregation to question itself. A longer-than-expected tenure can cause frustration for a congregation and guilt for ministers, who, only when leaving, realize the ministry might have been better ended a year or two before.

A settled ministry lasting less than four years can often have a significant detrimental impact on a congregation, both emotionally and financially.

Departure for Community Ministry Position

Sometimes, ministers discover their preferred ministry lies outside of a congregational setting. They may feel their work with a particular congregation has run its course and are unable to move to a new congregation. They may need more traditional work hours to meet family needs. There may be some combination of reasons for this change in the way they live out their calling. The effects of these moves are often the most easily understood by a congregation, though grief, loss, and relief will still be apparent. Some congregants may also feel the loss of what
might have been; of the opportunity and future they hoped this ministry would create.

Departure from Ministry for Other Work

A minister may discover ministry is not their calling, or may, due to geography or other conditions, seek a different kind of work. This may be particularly hard on the minister who has spent a lot of time and money in preparation for ministry. This may leave the congregation wondering how they might have contributed to the ministers’ decision. Again, the feelings of grief, loss, and relief may be related to what the ministry was and what it might have been.

Retiring Ministers

Retirement is often the most celebrated ending and is often harder for the minister than the congregation. Frequently, the congregation is expecting the retirement and is simply waiting for the minister to announce. If the ministry has lasted a long time, it may be harder for both minister and congregation to really move toward a new future. Ministers may have a tough time seeing themselves not serving a congregation or being in the same relationship with congregants that they have had. This may also be true for congregants. The feelings of loss and grief are about the loss of the familiar and a move toward the unknown, even though this was inevitable.

It is important that both minister and congregation understand that the minister, once retired, is no longer the minister of the congregation, and that a new set of relationships must be negotiated. Ministers and their families may need to consult with support systems like colleagues or therapists/spiritual advisors to navigate this transition and adhere to the UUMA standards of conduct for retired ministers.

Troubled Departures

Some troubled departures need special care, and may need to be followed by a specialized transitional ministry such as an interim or developmental minister. For any pending conflict, reach out sooner rather than later to your regional staff!

Connect with Your UUA Regional Staff

Facing a transition, seeing a conflict, or celebrating an achievement? Your UUA primary contacts are here to companion, coach, and consult!

Connect with Your UUA Regional Staff

Departure after Ministerial Misconduct

The impact of ministerial misconduct is traumatic. Often, division appears in a congregation in the wake of misconduct often in the form of blame turned both inward and outward.

Once trust has been violated, it will be slow to rebuild. Feelings are likely to run deep, strong, and long.

In the worst cases, the congregation no longer understands what ministry is and is supposed to be.

Future ministries will need to focus on building trust, maintaining boundaries, abiding by covenant, moving slowly, and ending well. Sometimes, if there are repeated instances of misconduct, it will take multiple ministries for trust in ministry to return.

More on Misconduct

• Examples of misconduct include sexual, financial, emotional (e.g., bullying) abuse.
• Misconduct is not limited to ministers. Staff members, even congregants, may engage in misconduct.
• Unnamed misconduct in a congregation’s past has a profound impact on a congregation, perhaps even more profound than named misconduct.
• For more information on misconduct, see AfterPastor Congregations
• Report misconduct to the UUA

Departure Related to Marginalized Identities

Unitarian Universalists work to overcome supremacy from our wider culture that marginalizes people who hold a variety of identities: woman, disabled, fat, neurodivergent, Black, Indigenous, and people of color, non-binary or gender non-conforming, queer, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and more.

A minister’s identity or identities may be met with resistance, exclusion, erasure, micro-aggressions or other harmful behavior in a congregation that leads the minister to conclude they will be unable to continue serving that congregation. The effect of this analysis can be difficult to admit.

In the 2020 report Widening the Circle of Concern from the Commission on Institutional Change, congregants are encouraged to accept the experiences of the minister as their lived experience and avoid challenging these perspectives. Ministers should bring up such issues to leaders well before an announced departure and should avoid fomenting conflict in the transition time. UUA staff offers support in such cases and exit interviews provide an opportunity to share candid reflections with leadership as the ministry ends.

Congregation-Initiated Departures

There are times when the congregation’s leadership feels that the minister needs to leave the congregation. Trust may have been broken, duties in the letter of agreement may not be fulfilled, or there are other problems that are causing harm to the congregation.

These endings are particularly hard on congregations, staff, and ministers, and can lead to congregational division, secrets, blaming, and/or misinformation.

Congregational Vote for Dismissal

Congregational bylaws include instructions of both calling a minister and dismissing a called minister.

Dismissing minister with a congregational vote is rare, and usually only where there is misconduct, bullying, policy violation, or not fulfilling the duties of minister. Even then, it is difficult for members who have not experienced any problems first-hand to vote for dismissal.

Negotiated Resignation

The majority of congregation-initiated departures involve an agreement between minister and congregational board, conforming to the terms in the original letter of agreement. Aside from situations where there has been a pattern of misconduct, bullying, policy violation, or not fulfilling the duties of minister, there can also be unreconcilable differences in leadership style or over the direction of the congregation’s future.

It’s important for the congregational leadership to involve UUA Congregational Life staff to accompany them through the discernment and negotiation process. The minister usually invites a specially-trained UUMA Good Officer to accompany them through the process of negotiation. All parties involved consider the terms of the Letter of Agreement and the ongoing health and vitality of the congregation as they negotiate the ministerial ending.

Dismissal for Cause

(Note: this language mirrors that in the Unified Ministerial Agreement (Google Doc). The Minister may be dismissed by the board without notice and without any severance payments for egregious behavior:

• has been convicted of a felony (unless arising from civil disobedience)
• has their ministerial fellowship with the UUA terminated or suspended;
• is found by the Board of the Congregation to have engaged in one or more physically or sexually abusive acts toward any person.
• is determined by the Board to have seriously neglected the ministerial responsibilities in the letter of agreement
• has improperly used Congregational funds for personal gain,
• has engaged in activities that egregiously violate the UUMA guidelines.

Appropriate UUA regional and/or headquarters staff should be consulted before dismissing a minister.

Departure after an Unresolved Conflict

Sometimes a minister and congregational leadership are in constant disagreement. Sometimes a small but powerful group or member of a congregation decides they don’t like the minister and use their influence to end the ministry. The ending (whether a quick and pressured “voluntary” departure or congregation-initiated one) can catch many members by surprise.

The desire to keep silent about the conflict inhibits healing for both congregation and minister. Any of these troubled endings can lead to congregational division, secrets, blaming, and misinformation.

Special Care after Troubled Endings

The effects of a troubled ending can be long-lasting so it’s important to involve UUA Congregational Life staff or another congregational consultant to mitigate harm as much as possible.

Congregational leaders should reach out to their regional staff contact or the Congregational Transitions Director and ministers should reach out to a specialist Good Officer for support as soon as they realize a negotiated ending is likely. UU Ministers Association (UUMA) Good Officers with a specialized portfolio and UUA Congregational Life staff are trained and equipped to support ministers and congregations in negotiating ministry endings which are as equitable, kind, and clear as possible.

It’s helpful for both minister and congregation to understand the big picture of what happened with empathy and the ability to take other perspectives into account. The exit interview process is designed to help gain a wider perspective.

Other helpful guiding questions might be:

• What happened and what was my role?
• How have the events affected the congregation?
• How have the events affected the minister?
• What have we learned?
• What could we each do differently?

Learning must occur for both minister and congregation to avoid repeating patterns of problematic behaviors or dynamics.

• Ministers must remember that they minister to every individual in the congregation and partner with lay leaders to practice collaborative ministry.
• Congregants must remember that the minister has their own perspective and is a partner, not an employee.

Congregations with a history of misconduct, especially unacknowledged or unknown misconduct, seem more likely to have troubled endings than those with no history of misconduct. Often, the ending amplifies the feelings of mistrust, grief, loss, and relief that have not been worked through. The feelings of the loss of opportunity for the “ministry that might have been” can often be more present than the feelings of loss for the ministry ending.