Leaving well is an act of ministry.

A departure is a time for:

• reflecting on the ministry’s accomplishments and lessons
• expressing gratitude for the opportunity
• assuring the congregation that they will move to a new future with a new ministry partner

Role of Departing Minister

The scope of ministry turns away from future plans or direction, and becomes a ministry of presence. The focus narrows to a few basics:

• preaching, pastoral care, and one-on-one conversations as requested by congregants
• appropriate staff supervision
• abiding by the covenant(s) in place
• readying information for the next minister
• setting boundaries around their role with the congregation once the ministry has concluded.

The minister no longer is in role of advising the congregation. They should avoid discussing anything having to do with the events or situation that led to the departure. Ministers will be able to tell their story, on the record, in exit interviews.

Expectations of Departing Minister

Throughout the leaving process the minister is still the minister, and wants to continue to be clear and kind and to have firm boundaries.

If the ending is conflicted, surround yourself with wise and caring people outside of the congregational system who can help you keep your perspective and give you an outlet so you don’t lash out at congregants. Save any truth-telling for the exit interview. If you are feeling hurt and distrust from this partnership find a way to discharge it outside of the congregation so you don’t harm them or carry it into your next ministry.

The minister’s fellowship with UUA includes certain expectations:

• ministers must honor their contract(s)
• ministers must follow UUMA guidelines
• ministers must engage in an exit interview
• if the ending was conflicted, engage in the process overseen by the UUA’s Review Team
• avoid doing harm by behaving with civility (not with any bullying or emotional abuse)

Additional Reading

• Running Through The Thistles: Terminating a Ministerial Relationship With a Parish. Roy Oswald, Alban Institute, 1978.
  Can how you leave a church affect your feelings about leaving or create baggage you take to your new congregation? Gain insight into termination styles and how they affect both you and your parishioners. Using real-life illustrations, Oswald guides you through Alban Institute research findings to help you prepare for a departure.
• After Running Through the Thistles the Hard Part Begins (PDF, 13 pages)
  In this classic 190th Berry Street Essay from the year 2000, the Rev. Dr. Mark Morrison-Reed reflects on being in the position of the former minister. The document includes responses by Revs. Leon Hopper and Marge Keip.