The stretching river is the place a group goes when they experience trials, problem-solving opportunities and challenges. These may arise naturally (maybe the minister leaves and a search committee is formed), or they may be manufactured (think: ropes course, planning a worship service, etc.). By moving through difficulties together, the group builds capacity to do that which they could not have done alone.

What Happens in the Stretching River?

We can’t talk about the stretching river without talking about the “growth zone.” In between our comfort zone and the danger zone is the growth zone. The safety/comfort zone is our home base. When we are in this zone, there is no need or impetus to learn or grow. This is the space that we return to when we are pushed beyond our limits (in the danger zone). The danger zone is where we have been pushed too far, beyond our capacity for growth. Here, we shut down. We experience a physical reaction in our bodies. We are unable to take in new information.

But beyond the safety/comfort zone but not yet to the danger zone is the Learning/Growth Zone. It is here where we can take risks, try to learn new things, and challenge our ideas and assumptions.

Here’s the trick, the size of each individual’s growth zone is different. As is the way to access it. An activity that might feel like a huge leap into the growth zone for one person might allow another person to stay firmly in their comfort zone. A game that feels like a fun challenge to one person might tip another person into the danger zone. To add even more nuance, a group who has just formed might be easily stretched past their breaking point by the need to make a decision/plan/agreement. But, a group who’s experienced more time together may be able to experience more challenge together.

As a facilitator, you must know what will be in the growth zone for each individual, and the group as a whole, and plan accordingly. Venturing into the stretching river often requires a plan A and a back up plan. Also, think ahead about how you’ll notice the signs of someone or the group moving into the danger zone. Ideally, before that happens you need to “not pass go, do not collect $200” and go straight to the healing springs. While we want to challenge our groups, we do not want to overwhelm anyone. When an event is “too much too fast,” there’s potential for it to traumatize someone.

At their best, games in the stretching river build individual confidence and group capacity. Stretching activities are really potent when there is a meaning making component to them. We call this “praxis,” when you learn about it, then do it, then reflect on it, and repeat. We don’t want to spend all our time in the growth zone or we’ll wear out. Make sure to visit the forest of affirmation and the healing springs before/after to come back to the safety/comfort zone.

More Deeper Joy Resources

Cue up the playlist, play the RPG, listen to the podcast, order merch, explore leader resources, or submit a favorite game.

Stretching River Activities