“From the body’s viewpoint, safety and danger are neither situational nor based on cognitive feelings. Rather, they are physical, visceral sensations. The body either has a sense of safety or it doesn’t.”
—Resmaa Menakem, in My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending our Hearts and Bodies

The comforting, warm weight on my neck is my ten-week-old puppy. She is healing my heart. Love is transformational, never transactional. 
 
Six months ago I was doing my best to keep my head above water. All the boats—row boats, yachts, steamships—were, and are still, in troubled waters. Some were not even a boat: just rafts made of wood, pop bottles, and upcycled items that float. My dog died; my employer reduced staff; I experienced a re-wounding.

Real care—human or otherwise—takes time. Care is the soil we prepare so that the roots of authentic relationship can grow. 
 
When I was a child, My father was my authority on reading; science; and how to live, survive, and thrive in his Blackness authentically. It was during our cherished conversations that I would learn about who he was. These stories took time: long car rides and the time it takes to build a table from wood. I learned that he wanted to be cremated; I knew that he learned to fix cars by reading books; I knew that he loved his deceased mother and his dog.

Now, I have this wriggly puppy and—unlike the rescue dog who experienced neglect and abuse—this wriggly puppy is so excited to connect, love, and learn. My rescue dog who died did not play with toys or reach for closeness unless she was very ill. This puppy—Layla—reaches out in love. She licks every face who reaches for her. She is a joy.

Caring for her, and teaching her actions for mutual safety, takes time. Our relationship is transformational; we are learning to communicate beyond human and canine. As I teach her what I need and she communicates to me, I feel brave, calm, confident; she stands tall and looks at me directly. We are building safety. 
 
Love that heals and calls us, feels safe. It takes time. I will grow older and this puppy will become a dog, but hopefully both of us will have experienced real care, mutual trust, and an authentic relationship. These kinds of relationships are needed to transform our communities and world.

Prayer

Dear God, Power of all mercies and compassion, call us into relationships and communities that heal us from relational injuries and traumas. Let us take the time to create mutual trust. Let us find the courage to reach out for the strength and warmth of Love. Let us recount the stories of how Love has been our healer and transformer. Oh, Happy Day! Hallelujah! So be it! Amen! Asé!