“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”

—Brené Brown

In my world, courage takes a different form: I spend my days walking the halls of a Veteran’s Hospital and trying to start conversations. That probably sounds pretty easy to most, except I spend my days walking into patients’ hospital rooms; round after round of, “Hi, my name is Kali, I’m one of the chaplains.” I introduce myself to complete strangers and ask them if they would like to talk.

It’s funny the reactions I get. Sometimes people laugh. Sometimes people ask, “Am I dying?” Sometimes people cry; sometimes they ask “why?;” sometimes they tell me to get out.

One day after my awkward introduction, a Veteran responded, “I have to tell you about the last chaplain I met.” They began to tell me about a chaplain who embraced a “love the sinner hate the sin” theology. This chaplain (not me) proceeded to talk with them about how they could pray their homosexuality away.

As I stood in the doorway, I thought about all the things I could say to comfort this individual. I could tell them that I accept them. I could tell them I’m not like that. I could explain how chaplains follow a strict ethical code of conduct and that never should have happened.
Instead, I chose humor.

I said, “Well, if I did that my wife would be pissed.” In ten short words the air in the room changed and the Veteran invited me to sit down. Instead of feeling rejected, the Veteran felt welcome in the room, welcome in the conversation, and welcome to be their true self. We began to talk about their current situation and the struggle that weighed heavy on their heart.

Everyone deserves a chance to feel welcome and accepted. As a Veteran’s Affairs chaplain, my ministry is heavily focused on the most marginalized people in our military: LGBTQ+ Veterans and women Veterans. I cannot begin to tell you how hard it is for these individuals to enter a Veteran’s Hospital. How much courage it takes to show up as themselves and seek care. But when they do, I will be there. I will continue to walk into rooms and say “Hi, my name is Kali. I’m one of the chaplains.”

Prayer

God who is love, Help us to receive each and every person as part of the beautiful tapestry of your image. Each complicated, broken, vibrant, amazing, and wildly different person. Help us to show up with love in our hearts and a little bit of humor. Amen.