For When I Really Don’t Want to Learn This

Against a dim sky, a hand holds a lit sparkler

Spirit, I would really rather not learn this.

Didn’t think I needed to.

I thought someone else could do it. Thought a leader was coming to do it. Thought the young people could do it. Or the elders could do it. Or the professionals.

Or I don’t want to learn it ‘cause it means letting go of something I hold dear.

Letting go of being someone who knows the answers.

Letting go of being someone who doesn’t know.

Letting go of the way I see the world.

Letting go of how I might have to change.

Letting go of certainty, of logic, of facts, of control.

Of the myth that you can live on this earth and not harm.

Or the myth that I can’t learn anything new.

Help me to learn it. Please.

And then help me to live what I have learned.

And do right by the gift of being taught.