“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”
—Aesop

I grew up in Hawaii, in a town of eight hundred people, so I was excited to leave home for college—starting with flying alone to Montana.

My Baptist pastor and his wife wanted to ensure I had a positive transition to a town much larger than my own. Money was tight. I fretted because the most affordable flight would get me to Montana the day before the dorms were open. The pastor’s wife arranged for me to stay with church members in Bozeman—a kindness that made my adventure less scary.

When I landed in Bozeman in mid-September, exhausted, snowflakes were dancing in the air. I was dressed in a mini-skirt, sandals, and a light coat. Brrrrr! Steve and Barb from the Bozeman church picked me up and took me to their home. The next day, snow carpeted the ground. Surely I was in a Christmas card—my only experience with snow. I knew nothing about how to choose a winter coat and boots, but Barb and Steve helped, and kept easing my initiation into the bewildering “mainland” climate and culture.

I loved college, and I blossomed. At church, though, I felt invisible—except for Barb and Steve’s ongoing warmth. When they moved away, I became disenchanted and drifted away from church. Other people didn’t invite me to events or offer me a ride to church, which required walking more than a mile on icy sidewalks.

When a congregant told me they missed me at church, I did not experience love and kindness, but judgement: when I explained that I was exploring other faiths, she warned me that my inquiry would lead to confusion and possibly damnation. I was stunned. In my new adventure of being an adult in a different culture, I needed affirmation.

Sometimes in the stress of life, I leave compassion hanging in the closet. When I notice that, I remember my most vulnerable moments: how tenderness both helped me on my journey to adulthood, and taught me the importance of hospitality. At church I make an effort to sit with someone I don’t know or who may be new or notice who is standing alone by the wall hoping someone will welcome them.

Prayer

O Holy Ones, help me remember that compassion has the capacity for transformation for all involved if we chose to use this gift.