Micro-signals–Key Concepts

1. Micro-signals are the little messages we send and receive that are subtle, contradictory, or unconscious. They’re the unstated messages you get when you “read between the lines.” They can be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, positive or negative.
2. Negative micro-signals are often called microaggressions. We’re using the term micro-signals instead because a study of microaggressions is invariably negative. It’s all about what we’re doing wrong and how to do it wrong less. That’s only one side of the picture! Micro-signals can be negative or positive, and both are important.
3. Positive micro-signals are important because they are life affirming! They signal belonging. They tell us we have a place in the world where we matter. They are beautiful gifts we give one another. We need to understand them so we can do more of them.
4. Negative micro-signals are important because they undermine our values and goals, and cause harm–to individuals and to the community. We need to understand them so we can do less of them. The fact that we do them unknowingly doesn’t make us bad people; it makes us human. At the same time, if we don’t care that we’re doing them, or don’t make an effort to do them less, that says something about us.
5. How a micro-signal lands depends on who it’s landing on, their circumstances, their life experiences (including their experiences of oppression), and the intersectionality of all their identities. Because of this, there’s an asymmetry in the system. Many micro-signals seem subtle or insignificant to the sender but painfully obvious to the receiver. They are “micro” to the sender but “macro” to the receiver.
6. Intention does matter, especially if you intend to cause harm, but a positive intention in no way guarantees a positive impact because impact depends entirely on how it lands. The more you know about the receiver, the better your chances are of having a positive impact. This is the Platinum Rule: Treat others the way they want to be treated.
7. Every demographic group is affected by a unique set of signals (positive and negative). This is why we can’t just say “We want to be inclusive” and expect to be successful. We need to say who we want to include and then do the work. If we aren’t in a particular group we might have no idea what signals are meaningful to that group. If we want people in a particular group to feel welcome and included, we have to educate ourselves about what matters to them, and then we have to provide it – by partnering with group members and changing ourselves and our culture to give welcoming and inclusive signals instead of the opposite. As consultant and life coach Dr Crystal Jones says, there’s a world of difference between the generic “All are welcome here” and “We created this with you in mind.”
8. The book Subtle Acts of Exclusion by Tiffany Jana and Michael Baran offers this “Framework of SAE Types.” These are negative micro-signal messages that let people know they don’t fit in, that they’re outside our circle of care.
   • You’re invisible.[That’s the main one for zoom exclusion.]
   • You (or people like you) are inadequate.
   • You’re not an individual.
   • You don’t belong.
   • You’re not normal.
   • You’re a curiosity.
   • You’re a threat.
   • You’re a burden.
9. All speech has consequences because all speech sends signals. We’ve had controversies in our communities over the years about freedom of speech and our right to say whatever seems right to us. The limitation of this point of view is it only considers the speaker and not the listener. It doesn’t take into account the impact of speech on listeners and consequently on the community. It doesn’t signal caring for the listener, only the speaker. The most controversial speech is speech that sends negative signals to particular groups, messages that say “We don’t care about your concerns. You are not important to us.” Most of us don’t intend to send negative messages–we have good intentions–but that’s how they land. These are messages of exclusion, messages that often seem inconsequential to the speaker and hurtful to the receiver. The question for us is how do we feel about sending such messages? If community and inclusion are important to us, what does that mean in practical terms?