Conflict Skills are part of the recommended leadership development competencies.
Conflict Skills include:
- Understanding the difference between unhealthy and creative conflict.
- Being able to diffuse unhealthy conflict.
- Being able to be present to and engage in healthy conflict.
Core Values
We are the “Living Tradition” that continually engages with our practices and beliefs to discern the “permanent” from the “transient.” We know that we must continually breathe new life into our congregations.
Practices
- Switch roles with someone—at work, at play, at church or with the family.
- Understand your own personality type or style when under stress using your favorite personality typing system (e.g. Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, Keirsey, etc.).
- Learn your own conflict style in different settings (work, home, church).
Resources
Videos
- Church Conflict (YouTube, 32:00)—A Systems Perspective with Peter Steinke at UU University
- “A Mediation Simulation” (YouTube) with Dr. Nancy Love of the PULSE Institute explains a five-part model of the meditation process
Web Articles
- Finding the Optimal Level of Conflict by David R. Brubaker
- Respectfully Disagreeing: How Dialogue Works to Transform Conflict by Marlis McCollum
- Is Conflict a Good Thing? from the Alban Institute
- Twenty Observations about Troubled Congregations by Peter Steinke
- Avoiding Drama Trauma by Rev. Renee Ruchotzke
- The Sabotage of Rumors by Arthur Paul Boers
- A Short Primer on Congregational Hostage Negotiations by Derek Penwell
- Power of a Positive No (PDF) for Oxford Leadership by William Ury
On-Demand Webinars
- Meeting Resistance: Dealing with Conflict (YouTube) (47:15) with Mark Bernstein
- 10 Good Ways to Manage Difficult Behavior (YouTube) (1:13:32) with Nancy Combs Morgan and Lisa Presley
- Practicing Pluralism: Dealing with Conflict (49:42) with Rev. Georgette Wonders and Rev. Ian Evison
Websites
- International Institute for Restorative Practices Restorative practices is an emerging social science that studies how to strengthen relationships between individuals as well as social connections within communities.
Books
- Congregational Life Dynamics and Conflict Management (Free PDF, 23 pages) (2005) UUA
- The Little Book of Conflict Transformation (2003) by John Paul Lederach
- Promise and Peril: Understanding and Managing Change and Conflict in Congregations (2009) by David R. Brubaker
- Conflict Management in Congregations (2001) David B. Lott, ed.
- Congregational Fitness: Healthy Practices for Layfolk by Denise W. Goodman
- Difficult Conversations: Taking Risks, Acting with Integrity by Katie Day
- Developing Your Conflict Competence: A Hands-On Guide for Leaders, Managers, Facilitators, and Teams by Craig E. Runde
- Leadership and Conflict (1982) by Speed Leas
- Discover Your Conflict Management Style (1998) by Speed Leas