Advance preparation: put a toolbox on a small table near the pulpit under a blanket/scarf.
Can I get a few helpers to come and unveil what’s under this blanket/scarf?
Can anybody tell me what this is?
[Give kids and adults time to guess…]
It’s a toolbox! Correct!
[Let kids dig around in it and explore it if they want.]
What are toolboxes used for?
[Give kids and adults time to guess…]
[If these answers don’t get mentioned, mention them yourself:]
For keeping your tools, for keeping them together in one place, etc.…
Why do we keep them all in one place?
[Give kids and adults time to guess…]
So you can find the tool you need when you need it!
Sometimes when something is broken and I need to fix it I’m not sure exactly what tool I need… so I go to my box where I have all my options in one place and I start trying them out to see what works.
We can think of our coping skills… our spiritual and emotional tools… like this too.
When we’re going through a hard time, when we have a broken heart or we’re really scared or angry or overwhelmed or grieving… we can think about what tools we have or what practices we have that might help us take care of ourselves in that hard time.
Can anyone think of a spiritual or emotional tool we might have in our toolbox?
[Ask for examples first from kids then adults. Likely answers:]
Exercise, talking with somebody we love/trust, getting outdoors, breath work, take a cold shower, meditation, prayer, singing, turning on favorite music/a playlist, taking time to be alone or seeking out company, writing or journaling, reading a fantasy or fiction book, doing a ritual of some sort, volunteering to focus energy outward, doing something kind for someone else, etc.…
We just named a LOT of tools… which is amazing. We have options! Different ways to take care of ourselves when things are really hard. One of the reasons it’s important to think of all these tools living in your hard-times-toolbox is because sometimes you might try one and it doesn’t work. And it’s easy to think “oh no, nothing is going to help me get through this!” If we remember that it was just ONE of many tools that wasn’t quite right, we can return to the box and try something else.
Sometimes, when things are feeling really really hard, it’s possible that none of the tools or practices in our box feel like enough. It’s like if you were trying to cut down a HUGE tree with the small hand saw. What you really need is a chainsaw!
Sometimes what we really need is to reach out for help from someone like a therapist or our minister… our grown ups or doctor or teacher. Someone who can remind us of the tools we have, help us get new ones, and lend us theirs to try out. The point of a toolbox is not that you have every single tool or practice you’ll ever need, but that you have a starting point for trying.
The more we practice using our tools, and the more we ask for help from other people, the better we get at taking care of ourselves and each other when times are really hard. We might not have all that we need alone, but together it’s amazing what we can do.