My grandfather taught me that everyone has a story. He was a newspaperman and he spent much of his time listening to others tell their stories to him. Listening was the most important part of his job — if he didn’t pay attention, if he didn’t actively listen, he might get the story wrong, and that’s never good in a newspaper.

I never really thought about people’s stories until I was a young pediatric nurse. One night I walked into a room to find a very ill baby with a teenage mother sobbing at the bedside. They were newly admitted, and the mother was scared and had been admonished more than once that day for her delay in seeking care. I sat beside her and asked, “Can you tell me your story?” What spilled out after some hesitation was a tale of abandonment, disownment, homelessness and heartache. This was not lack of care. It was lack of role models, responsible adults, social supports and community care. No one had asked her story or what brought her to this point. No one had tried to uncover the reason for the delay in seeking help so we might prevent this happening again. No one asked her story.

It’s important for us to listen to each other’s stories, actively listening to each other. Not distracted by the kids, the TV, or our phones, but actively listening to the words, the tone, finding cues in body language. When we listen to each other’s stories we build connections, share laughter or tears, and create common ground.

What would happen if one Sunday morning for services we shared stories — if we broke into small groups or pairs, and shared a story about our lives? How might that help us know each other better? Find out who has needs that aren’t being addressed? Discover commonalities we never knew existed? This could help us build our beloved community.

What if that story had a prompt and everyone told the story of how they discovered the UU faith? Or how they found the congregation? Or how they realized that Unitarian Universalism was the faith for them?

What if at one board meeting you went around the group and asked each person to tell the story of why they chose to serve in this role? What is their story of leadership? You may find strengths and skills you never knew existed in those who serve beside you. The possibilities are endless.

We are entering the holiday season which can be fraught with tension between extended family members and neighbors and even in our congregational communities. Perhaps this year, you might try asking someone you disagree with to tell you their story. While you may not end up agreeing with them, you may come to better understand why they feel the way they do and find that despite your disagreement your stories have helped you find a middle ground.