The oldest Millennials are in our forties now. Lots of researchers have looked at the wealth of Millennials compared to Baby Boomers as they turned 40. There are a million ways to slice these statistics, but they all show that Millennials are in much worse shape than Baby Boomers were when entering their 40s. The biggest difference is debt. In 1989, median debt for 40-year-olds was lower than median annual income. Now median debt is about 175% of annual income (or debt = income x1.75). The two big drivers of that debt are student loans and the cost of housing, both of which have risen dramatically since the 1980s. (Source)

Over a quarter of Millennials who are working have at least two jobs. 73% of Millennials work more than 40 hours a week, and a quarter average more than 50 hours a week (source). Paid days off and vacations have been trending down in the US since the 1990s, and that decline continues (so-ur-ces). Meanwhile, the amount of time that parents spend directly interacting with children has been increasing since at least the 1960s, and that trend also keeps increasing (source).

I’m not telling you all of this just to give you a list of statistics. The real life experience of families peeks through these numbers in all kinds of ways, but I want to especially lift up two of them. Today’s 40-year-olds have bothless money andless time than Baby Boomers at 40.

To put this very simply, if we actually want “young families” to participate in our congregations, we cannot ask them to contribute time or money at the rate of previous generations. They don’t have it to give.

Come with me on a little thought experiment to bring all those numbers to life. This is a composite story, but every detail in this story is true of at least one Millennial who I know personally.

Imagine that when you were in high school, all the advice you got was that education was always worth the investment. You were earnestly told by basically all adults you consulted that at any price, a four year college degree was in your long term financial interest, not to mention a good move career-wise and for pursuing happiness and satisfaction in life. So, you borrowed let’s say $50,000 to attend a four year college.

Once you were nearing the end of college, you started to hear that a bachelor’s degree was so expected these days that it pretty much got you the same jobs that a high school diploma would have a generation ago. Still being told that education is always a good investment, you decide to get a master’s degree. For that purpose, you borrow another $50,000.

You graduate from that master’s program with $100,000 of debt in 2008. The economy has just crashed. Jobs are scarce. And they pay incredibly badly. You find whatever work you can and try to make your student loan payments.

At this point, you head in one of two directions. Either you are one of the lucky ones who gets a professional job. Yay! Salaries don’t go as far as they used to, but still, you’re doing okay. This professional job expects that a 40 hour work week is the bare minimum. Not really up to snuff. To be considered a “team player” and a “diligent worker” you really have to put in 50-60 hours a week. Your free time dwindles.

Or, you are not so lucky. You don’t get a professional job. You are working hourly or contract jobs, like adjunct teaching, retail, etc. Those jobs don’t pay anything close to enough to live on. So, you get another job. Maybe that’s a gig job. So you spend 8 hours a day working your first job and another 3 hours a day driving for Uber. It doesn’t really make the bills work out, but it’s all you can get. You decide to live with your parents because they own their house and it is impossible to afford either rent or a mortgage on what you make in 93% of counties in the country (source). You don’t happen to live in one of the 7%.

Now, let’s say you find a partner(s). They are also working 50-80 hours a week. Finding time for each other is difficult. Maybe in 2015, you have a child. Now there is even less time. You feel like you are drowning basically all of the time. Maybe you have been paying student loans every month for 7 years and your principal balance has actuallygone up. Somehow youjust manage to make it all work, although it feels really precarious.

In March of 2020, your child’s daycare or school shuts down because of the pandemic. Now you are responsible for the 24/7 care of your child with no support from outside your household. By the way, you and your partner(s) are still trying to work full-time. For a year and a half, this is your life. Trying to supervise online school for your child while also working full time. To make it work, one parent has to start work at 6 am while another parent works until 7 pm. For months, you do not have a single conversation with your partner(s) that is not in front of your child. If you thought you were drowning before, this is a whole new level of overwhelm.

Finally your kid goes back to school. There is about a year of intense anxiety about what will happen when they do, but finally they are eligible for a vaccine, and there’s a slight lessening of the intensity of the pressure. Which gives you just enough breathing room to become fully aware of how impossible your life is. Looking ahead, it is more of the same. There is no help on the horizon. In fact, you really don’t think that retirement will ever be a thing for you. How can you meaningfully save for retirement when you can’t even make a dent in your student loans?

Again every single experience I’ve just had you imagine is true of someone I know. I want you to imagine yourself in these scenarios because you have to have at least imagined it deeply - if not actually lived it - to understand the degree of despair and overwhelm that Millennials live with.

Now imagine that you go to a congregation where there are lots of people your parents’ age. That’s cool. Multigenerational community is wonderful. But you start to encounter the same narrative over and over again - either directly stated or implied. Millennials are selfish because they don’t volunteer. Millennials are stingy because they don’t donate money at the rate of previous generations. Millennials are deadbeats for asking for student debt relief. Millennials are failures because they have to live with their parents into their 30s.

Would you stay in that community? Would you sacrifice any of your rare and precious free time to attend?

Every time you have a thought or a conversation that begins, “Young people today…” or “Millennials…” or “Parents of today’s kids…” consider filling in the end of the sentence with one of the following:

• are overwhelmed and burned out.
• are struggling to make ends meet.
• are servicing debt that they were encouraged to take on by financial experts that they now can’t afford.
• face a constant barrage of judgment from older generations for circumstances created by those same older generations.
• are just trying to make it through the week.