Emotional Intelligence—one of the recommended leadership development competencies—includes:

• Forbearance, e.g. having self-control, especially when provoked.
• Presence and functioning, i.e. a high level of self-awareness with an alignment between the body and the mind.
• Knowing and taking responsibility for one’s own functioning in the system.
• Modeling humility when a mistake is made.
• Modeling grace when another makes a mistake.
• Being aware of what one’s emotional triggers are.

Core Values

Unitarian leader William Ellery Channing held up the value of self-culture, i.e. developing the capacity to “look into oneself” to discern and live into a life that separates one’s own desires from pursuing one’s commitment to the faith community’s highest commitments.

Practices

• Meditation
• Yoga, Tai Chi or other spiritual practices
• Forgiveness
• Creating trusting, accountable relationships where you can help one another see your "blind spots"

Resources

Video

• Edwin Friedman's Theory of Differientated Leadership Made Simple (YouTube, 6:45)
• David Goleman Introduces Emotional Intelligence (YouTube, 5:31)
• How Do I Sort Out Emotions? (YouTube, 1:50), Josh Freedman

Web Articles

• Self-Differentiation in 3 Puzzle Pieces by Jake Morrill
• Differentiated Leadership by Arthur Paul Boers
• Emotional Intelligence and Leadership by Stephen Ott
• 8 Ways to Protect Yourself from Emotional Manipulation
• How Misplaced Anxiety Affects Your Decision Making
• Key Skills for Raising Emotional Intelligence by Jeanne Segal and Melinda Smith
• Have You Given Your Presence? (PDF) by Margaret Marcuson
• The Case for Becoming a Type Watcher by Roy M. Oswald and Otto Kroeger
• "Feminine" Values Can Give Tomorrow's Leaders an Edge by John Gerzema

On-Demand Webinars

• On Being the Non-Anxious Leader (YouTube) (41:37) with Mark Bernstein
• Six Seconds, The EQ Network (YouTube Channel of workshops)

Websites

• Six Seconds: Emotional Intelligence for Positive Change

Online Self-Discovery Resources

• Leadership Style Survey
• Personality Type based on Jungian Myers-Briggs model
• Personality Type based on the Enneagram
• Conflict Style
• Belief-O-Matic: answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, to find out what religion you are most closely aligned with
• Your Personality Learn more about your personality, relationships, attachment style, political attitudes and abilities.
• Genogram: mapping family emotional systems

Books

• Personality Type in Congregations: How to Work with Others More Effectively by Lynne M. Baab
• Personality Type and Religious Leadership by Roy M. Oswald and Otto Kroeger
• Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves and Patrick M. Lencioni