WorshipWeb: Braver/Wiser: A Weekly Message of Courage and Compassion

No Longer Claiming "Divorced"

By Rayla D. Mattson

“Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love.”
—Jennifer Weiner, Fly Away Home

I used to be very conscious of the fact that I was “a single mom” — so self-conscious, in fact, that I would add that I was “a divorced mother,” as if this extra piece of information somehow made things better; as if people would judge me less if they knew that I did, in fact, get married and didn’t run around getting myself pregnant.

And then I came to a point where I just stopped caring.

Why did I need to give validity to someone else’s hang-ups and thoughts about single mothers? Why are single fathers revered so highly and single mothers looked down upon? I’m proud that I chose myself and my children over a very toxic relationship. In doing so, I showed my kids that making a healthy choice for yourself can be hard, but it is okay and good and healthy to make those decisions.

I spent time feeling embarrassed—that somehow I had failed—because I had filed for divorce. I used to think there was something wrong or lacking in me. It’s been over nine years now, and I wake up every single day happy with my decision. I have never once regretted my choice (but I have wondered why I didn’t do it sooner). My children never look down on me for it. In fact, they're proud of my choice and are very supportive. So why do I need to label myself as a product of an unhealthy relationship? I don’t.

Hi. I’m Rayla and I'm a single mother to three amazing kids.

Great Spirit of Discernment, may we continue to use your guidance and wisdom in making life choices that may not be easy, but are sometimes necessary.

About the Author

Rayla D. Mattson

Rayla D. Mattson (name, not pronouns) is a single parent who lives in Bloomfield, CT with their three children. Rayla is a religious professional and an avid writer. In Rayla's free time, Rayla enjoys cooking, baking, board and card games and anything that makes Rayla laugh.


For more information contact .

In the foreground, a mother sitting on a stoop, watching her young daughter.

A Blessing for the Divorced or Separated

By Meg Riley

From WorshipWeb

For all who left a relationship in order to save your heart, may your own heartbeat be your blessing. Its rhythm, its particular kinships, its unique rhythm. May you know your own heart as God's blessing....

A Blessing for the Divorced or Separated