“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” 
—Joseph Campbell

Binoculars were in my hands; anticipation was in my heart. The sky was clear and the sun was bright as I waited for people to arrive. Our church does a service auction every year. I decided it was time to contribute something, so I offered to lead a birdwatching hike through a favorite nature preserve. It was my first time ever leading one.

It seemed like a good idea. Birding, for me, is one part treasure hunt and one part meditation. Many emotionally fraught moments of my life have been smoothed by immersing myself in the woods. Birds have brightened many banal moments of waiting, running errands, or being outside. I looked forward to the opportunity to share this practice.

On the morning of the walk, I noticed an uneasiness in my gut: stage fright. These nerves are familiar even though I often facilitate meetings and give presentations. I cope through preparation. I rehearse what I’m going to say, anticipate the questions I’m going to get asked, and run through each foreseeable moment.

Vulnerability crashes over me as we stand among trees, hearing birds but seeing none of them. I’ve chosen to lead something that I cannot control. I gaze at an osprey nest, realizing that I have planned this hike as if the birds were actors in a play. You can’t cue the cardinals to come down. Just because I often see tree swallows in a spot doesn’t mean they will be there. You cannot script nature.

I quickly pivot my goals from “see interesting birds” to “have a good time and enjoy each other’s company.” We wait in the woods, Merlin app running, hearing warblers but not seeing them. I put on a brave face. But then, slowly, we all start noticing: The yellow warblers. The red-headed woodpeckers. The tree swallows. Baltimore orioles. Thankfully, everyone seems to have a good time.

The irony is not lost on me: in showing everyone a practice of letting go and being in the moment, I had to let go of my need for control and be in the moment. I did not need everything to be just-so for it to be good.

Prayer

May we relax our need for certainty and control. May we trust in our ability to meet the moments exactly as they are, and trust—or discover—the beauty they hold.