All congregations experience conflict. While many people’s stomachs knot up at the idea of conflict, conflict itself is not bad. Actually, conflict can present great opportunities for creativity, growth and transformation. How we handle conflict is the key. If conflict is dealt with in covenantal relationships and we use mindful processes , conflict can be a catalyst for transformative change.

Transformation begins with knowing when, and whom to ask for help. It is better to get help sooner rather than later.

If you feel that your congregation might be headed into conflict, reach out to your Congregational Life Regional field staff. Let’s have an initial conversation to see how you might be best supported.

Start with A Congregational Covenant

As Unitarian Universalists, covenant is our pathway to building/re-building community. All conflict work needs to begin in covenant; we need to understand how we will be together before we can decide what is to be done. When living in covenant is part of the congregation’s cultural norms, conflict is addressed in a healthy and creative way.

These two trainings will get you started!

Covenant Calls Us In: The Why of Covenant

By Safe Congregations Team

From LeaderLab

<p>This training shares the history of covenant, theological and ethical concerns, how to think about accountability and responsibility, and some tools for transformation in your congregation.</p>

Why of Covenant

Covenant Calls Us In: Living Into Behavioral Covenant (Training)

By Safe Congregations Team

From LeaderLab

<p>This training helps you create your behavioral covenant, communicate its importance to your congregation members, and strategize to make your covenant come alive in your congregation</p>

Living Covenant

Support Right Relationships in the Congregation

Creating beloved community requires intention and practice. Our covenants articulate our intention, but how do we live into the practice? Right Relations Teams are lay leaders entrusted to help the congregation practice faithful communication and creative conflict based on values of mutuality and consent.

Resources for Congregational Right Relationship TeamsThe Tenders of the Covenant

By Tandi Rogers, Renee Ruchotzke

From LeaderLab

<p>Our covenants articulate our intention, but how do we live into the practice? Right Relations Teams are lay leaders entrusted to help the congregation practice faithful communication and creative conflict based on values of mutuality and consent. </p>

RR Teams

Tending Covenant: UUA Training for Right Relationship Teams

From LeaderLab

<p>Right Relations Teams are lay leaders entrusted to help the congregation practice faithful communication and creative conflict based on values of mutuality and consent. </p>

Right Relationship Team Training

When Conflict Turns Destructive

Congregational leaders and members have the responsibility to provide a safe and welcoming environment for children and adults—both regular attendees and visitors. Developing a Destructive Behavior Policy indicates a commitment to creating a safe and welcoming environment by confirming a list of expectations for everyone’s behavior.

Destructive Behavior: Safety as an Embodiment of CovenantSafety as an Embodiment of Covenant

From Safe Congregagtions Handbook

<p>There is a whole range of destructive behaviors displayed in congregations, including spreading negativity throughout the congregation, withholding money as a way of pressuring the organization into giving them their way, name-calling, verbal attacks, bullying, and more.</p>

Destructive Behavior