10 Things Your Congregation Can Do To Become More Welcoming to LGBT People

When people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and/or transgender (LGBT) first come to your congregation, they may be uneasy until they know they are welcome.

Many religious denominations and individual churches are actively hostile to and condemning of LGBT people, ignore them, and/or claim to treat everyone the same regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity/expression, refusing to acknowledge that LGBT people face additional issues in society and around matters of faith and religion. Because of this, many people who are marginalized on the basis of sexual orientation and/or gender identity people will assume that you and your congregation don’t want them unless you clearly invite them in.

To feel welcome in your congregation, members of oppressed groups need to know that the congregation is aware of their issues, and that they are welcome as their full selves. Little things are often the most important. What will really make people feel welcome, and what will make them want to return, is inclusion in all aspects of church life. You can make it clear that they are welcome without their having to ask.

1. Engage with the Welcoming Congregation Program

Go through the Welcoming Congregation Program. No matter what your congregation's unique circumstances are, you can become recognized by the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) for your work around education, congregational life, and community outreach in regards to LGBT issues.

If your congregation is already recognized as a Welcoming Congregation, do a refresher program! LGBT Ministries recommends that all congregations go through a Welcoming Congregation Program or refresher program every five years.

2. Proclaim your welcome

Advertise in local and regional LGBT publications and newsletters, including online ones. Realizing that many LGBT people are not part of any LGBT organization or community, advertise your welcome in general venues: local newspapers; bulletin boards in grocery stores, libraries, community centers, etc.; and online publications with a local focus.

Place a note in your Orders of Service that states your welcome. You can make a general statement that you welcome all people, or you can use more specific language.

If your congregation has a website, add a note there as well and consider how else you can make your website welcoming to LGBT visitors. Announcing your welcome lets LGBT people know that they and their families are valued and welcomed, and that they will be treated as a family.

3. Make information about LGBT people and issues available

In your literature area, bulletin boards, newsletter, and/or website, include literature and information about LGBT people and issues and what LGBT outreach and public witness your congregation is doing. This could include activities that your social action group and/or Welcoming Congregation Committee are sponsoring, updates from your congregation's Interweave chapter, and/or relationships or partnerships with local LGBT groups or organizations. LGBT Ministries and the UUA Bookstore have printed materials you might want to consider displaying.

4. Take steps toward inclusive language

Inclusive language is about more than stating a welcome to all. It's about intentionally understanding and challenging the ways that our language unconsciously assumes certain things and unintentionally makes people with marginalized identities feel unwelcome.

Provide written guidelines for inclusive language to all people who participate in your Sunday services (including ministers, lay leaders, guest speakers, and readers of announcements and readings), contribute to your newsletter and/or website, lead your religious education programs for all ages, and lead other programs. Also, give special attention to the role of your greeters--among other options, check out the UUA's Multicultural Welcome resource.

5. Acknowledge and respect individuals and families

Accord full acknowledgment and respect to each person and family, as defined by the person/family. This includes the definition of pledging units, listings in the church directory, family events, and all other aspects of church life. There are few more demoralizing and alienating experiences for anyone than to be told (explicitly or inexplicitly) that their siblings, parents, children, partners, and so on are not really their family, or to have their name and/or pronoun preferences disrespected.

If your services include a time for people to participate as a family (such as lighting a candle to start the service), invite families of all descriptions to take a turn in that part of the service. Over time, you can include a wide variety of families: single people, single people with children, same and mixed gender couples with and without children, families of choice, etc.

6. Avoid assumptions

Avoid making assumptions about the sexual orientation or gender identity of any of your members or visitors, and be open to challenges to assumptions that you do make. Always respect each person’s identity, self-labels, and pronoun preferences.

7. Take special steps toward transgender welcome

Do education around understanding the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity, and take special steps toward transgender welcome and inclusion. For example, create single occupancy bathrooms and signs directing people to them. Use the words "children" instead of "boys and girls"; "people" instead of "women and men"; "siblings" instead of "brothers and sisters." Make education on transgender identity and welcome a priority, whether through a Sunday service, film screening, workshop, or more.

8. Make LGBT issues a part of your worship

Hold services and sermons that address LGBT issues. Ask your Minister(s) and Director(s) of Religious Education to do supportive sermons. If LGBT people are out in your congregation, you could invite them to do a lay-led service or just the sermon, or you could invite friends and family members of LGBT people to discuss their experiences, invite community leaders to lead you in worship around LGBT issues, or arrange for a panel discussion on an LGBT topic. There are many possibilities.

9. Do outreach and public witness around LGBT issues

There are a multitude of ways to take action and show your support for LGBT people, no matter how large or small your congregation is, or where you're located. If there are LGBT groups or organizations in your area, build relationships with them--ask them what they need and how you can help. If your congregation has out LGBT members, respect their guidance and leadership. You can also read stories about LGBT welcome and social action from other congregations.

10. Extend your welcome beyond sexual orientation and gender identity

Extending your welcome to LGBT people is just one entry point into the conversation about how to truly be a Welcoming Congregation. LGBT people, like all people, have multifaceted identities. They are people of color, they are working class, they have disabilities, they are immigrants, they are children and youth and single parents and elders. Is your congregation a welcoming congregation to all of these people also?

Emphasize the interrelatedness of all forms of oppression and weave this into everything that your congregation does. Explore how homophobia and transphobia affect people with multiple oppressed identities differently. Offer Building the World We Dream About, a program about race and ethnicity, or check out more next steps to deepen your welcome.