To the Anchor:

Today's WCUU program talks about where Unitarian Universalists think we (the world and universe) should go. When the broadcast begins, you are alone on camera, sitting or standing in front of a microphone.

[Director: Cue the station break.]

[Director: Cue the Anchor.]

Anchor: This is WCUU, Wisdom of the Community of Unitarian Universalists, on the air.

[Director: Cue the theme music.]

Anchor: Good morning. I am [give your real or stage name]. This morning's broadcast features the UU Guru, members of the world-famous GUPUS Group and our own NUUs Analyst. Now I welcome our first guest, the UU Guru.

[Director: Cue UU Guru to join Anchor in front of the camera.]

Anchor: Good morning, Guru, and welcome to our WCUU broadcast studio.

UU Guru: Thank you. I'm glad to be here.

Anchor: I understand you are wise in the ways of UUs.

UU Guru: You might say so. In fact, I do say so. In further fact, I'm pretty good at it.

Anchor: Then I hope you won't mind a bit of a challenge, Guru.

UU Guru: Not at all. Let's do it!

Anchor: Okay: Bring in the GUPUS Group!

UU Guru: Goofus? Did you just call me a goofus? I object!

Anchor: No, no, Guru. You misheard me. I said GUPUS, not goofus!

[Director: Cue members of the GUPUS Group to join the Anchor and UU Guru on camera, standing so their nametags read G-U-P-U-S.]

UU Guru: It really is a GUPUS Group.

UU Guru: Ah . . . er . . . ah.

Anchor: Try finding two letters that are the same.

UU Guru: I got it! That's UU.

[Director: Cue the two Us to step aside together.]

UU Guru: I see it! I did it! I see it! It's GPS for Global Positioning System. And everything together is the UU GPS.

Anchor: Right you are. Well done, Guru. Now here is the next part of your challenge. Our UU GPS is just like others. It can tell us how to reach our destination. But first we have to tell it what the destination is. That's what we need from you, Guru. What is our destination? Where do most UUs think we, the world and the universe should be going?

UU Guru: Ah . . . er . . . ah. I know! Let's ask the GUPUS Group.

Anchor: You mean the UU GPS Group. Good idea. What about it, Group? Where are we going? What do we want the world and universe to be like in the future?

[Director: Cue the GUPUS Goup, to step forward and say their goals.]

G: My goals are [two goals chosen in advance]...

UU Guru: Great! Where else are we going?

[Director: Cue the other members of the GUPUS Group, in turn, to call out their answers.]

UU Guru: Okay, Anchor, those are the destinations for our UU GPS. I think I have met your challenge beautifully.

Anchor: Well somebody has met my challenge beautifully. Thank you, UU Guru. Thank you, members of the UU GPS Group.

[Director: Cue the UU Guru and the GUPUS Group to move off camera.]

Anchor: Now for today's analysis from American's favorite NUUs Analyst.

[Director: Cue NUUs Analyst to join Anchor either sitting or standing in front of the camera.]

Anchor: Can you sort this out for us, NUUs Analyst? What is the meaning of the messages we have just received? What are some typical UU responses to today's Big Question, "Where are we going?"

NUUs Analyst: Most UUs say they do not know exactly where we are going. But they think it is up to us humans to decide on our goals and get us there. That is because about half of all UUs say they are humanist. Humanists believe the actions of humans are primarily responsible for the state of the world and we humans should use reason and science, along with other disciplines, to make our world a better place. Most UUs believe we humans will play a huge part in deciding just where the world and the universe and the human race are going. This is what makes Unitarian Universalism a humanistic religion. They agree on a lot of the goals, too. They want the world to be peaceful and just, and equal, and democratic, and all other things the UU Principles talk about.

Anchor: Thank you, NUUs Analyst. That is very, very helpful.

NUUs Analyst: But I have just started. Did you know that the UU hymnbook, Singing the Living Tradition, has four readings and 71 hymns identified as humanist teachings. I am going to sing every one of them for you right now.

Anchor: Thanks for the offer, NUUs Analyst, but I don't think so. We are totally out of time. We have to go right straight to our theme music right now.

[Director: Cue the theme music.]

[Director: Cue the station break.]

Anchor: This is [your real or stage name] signing off for WCUU.