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By Alla Bozarth, Julia Barkley, and Terri Hawthorne, from Stars in your Bones: Emerging Signposts on Our Spiritual Journeys (St. Cloud, Minnesota: North Star Press, 1990). Used with permission.
I am pregnant with myself.
Do you realize what this means?
It means that every part of me must die,
all my cells and organs open and dissolve,
for I need their juicy substances
to nurture my new blood:
let teeth become eyes,
gullet become brain,
grey become bright red,
and hair turn into wings.
This is the truth of me —
I was, am, and shall be
my Self, forever new,
forever changing by changing,
creature blessed by consciousness,
And this is not
a voiceless act, but a process
resounding inside death
with lusty shouts and whoops,
irregular and visible below
the carcass veil.
And death grows thinner,
giving way to God-know-What —
diminishing like gauze
Of spun sugar melting in the sun.
Soon, I will be full-ripe
with my Self,
able to nurse on sweet nectar,
free and light as living rain.
Soon, I will fly.
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Last updated on Saturday, December 10, 2011.
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