EXPLORING OUR VALUES THROUGH POETRY
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Youth
WORKSHOP 6: CONSCIOUS LOVE: BETTER THAN ANY FAIRY TALE
BY KAREN HARRIS
© Copyright 2008 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 9/29/2014 6:51:35 PM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
WORKSHOP OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
With my poems, I finally won even my mother. The longest wooing of my life.
Marge Piercy
Today's workshop is about romantic love. The poetry we use in this workshop runs the gamut, from song lyrics to Yeats to urban hip-hop. Although romantic love is a universal theme in the world of poetry, youth have had limited exposure to it. Some youth might not find the theme engaging; others might find it embarrassing. Gauge your group, and remember to keep the workshop fun and active.
GOALS
This workshop will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
WORKSHOP-AT-A-GLANCE
ACTIVITY | MINUTES |
Opening | 5 |
Activity 1: Fairy Tale Love | 30 |
Activity 2: Being Yourself in Love | 20 |
Faith in Action: Poetry Pajama Party | |
Closing | 5 |
Alternate Activity 1: Lyrics as Poetry | 15 |
Alternate Activity 2: Perfect and Imperfect Love | 20 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
The activities in this workshop look at romantic love. Love poems are common and popular. Do you have a favorite love poem? If so, does it portray love in a realistic way or idealistically? There are two different ways to think about art: Some think that art should imitate life, or be realistic. Others think it should reflect ideal human behavior. Of course, the reality is that art can do (and does) both. Which do you prefer? Do you indulge more in realistic or idealistic art? Does that say something about your outlook on life?
WORKSHOP PLAN
OPENING (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Description of Activity
Use the Opening designed by your group or the one provided below.
Gather around the chalice. As a volunteer lights the chalice, ask the group to focus on the word "love" in silence. After about fifteen seconds, invite participants to speak freely into the space a word or two that they associate with the word "love." When everyone who wishes to speak has had a chance to do so, close by saying,
May the space we create here today be wide enough to hold all our individual ideas and deep enough to allow those ideas to grow, to fruit, and to provide seeds for new beginnings.
Introduce today's workshop with these words:
From the moment we can toddle around and give sloppy kisses, we are presented with attractive, compelling images of love. These images suggest what love should look like, what love can do for us, and how necessary love is to complete us. As we move through our lives, the fantasy of the perfect, romantic love often comes into conflict with our experiences. Our own sexuality and our impossibly high expectations for what another person can give us are just two of many complicating factors. This workshop seeks to help us understand why romantic love is so compelling and to challenge us to be more conscious about how we define, experience, and conduct ourselves in love.
ACTIVITY 1: FAIRY TALE LOVE (30 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Through drawing, participants visit their own notions of "fairy tale love" and examine the difference between love and infatuation.
Make sure each participant has a pen/pencil and his/her journal. Draw two columns on a piece of newsprint or the dry erase board. As you write the word "infatuation" at the top of the left-hand column, ask the group to write in their journals their own completion of this sentence: You know you're really infatuated when...
Wait until participants have finished writing. Then, as you write the words "in love" at the top of the right-hand column, ask the group to write their own completion of this sentence: You know you are really in love when...
When participants are done, invite them to share their fill-ins. Write each contribution, or phrases from it, in the appropriate column. As you collect participants' contributions, prompt observations and discussion. Use these questions:
Make the art supplies available. Tell the group, "Most of us have some version of a fairy tale romance in our heads, complete with a happy ending. Please draw a picture that represents your own fairy tale of true love as it is in your mind right now. Try not to edit it, even if you think it is a bit far out."
Let participants disperse and draw. Tell them how much time they have before they must reconvene. If the group enjoys background music while they work, play music. Monitor youth who are not in the shared space. Give a two-minute warning before the end of the work period.
When the group reconvenes, ask for volunteers to share their pictures show-and-tell style. Remind participants that it is fine to pass if they feel their pictures are too personal.
As volunteers present their drawings, invite each one to say more about his/her picture, using this question as a prompt:
Lead the entire group to explore these questions:
ACTIVITY 2: BEING YOURSELF IN LOVE (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants read a poem and explore their own views about a common theme in love poems: merging with another versus remaining an individual in a relationship.
Invite participants to discuss the idea of merging themselves with another person. Use these questions:
Explain that a natural conflict arises between the desire to merge with someone who attracts us and the desire to keep ourselves separate. Although it is rarely portrayed this way in fairy tales, such a conflict can arise as a love relationship becomes "real." Invite participants to recap stories from movies, books, television programs, and real life that illustrate this conflict; for example, when one member of a couple disapproves of choices his/her partner makes. A common plot on television tells of a substance-abusing teen whose boyfriend or girlfriend disapproves of the partner's habit. Another example is when a person moves to another city because of a new job opportunity, while his/her partner is invested in staying where she/he lives now.
Guide the discussion further into exploring this type of conflict. Challenge participants with this question: How can we fall in love without falling away from ourselves?
Tell participants that the subject of the poem they are about to read is merging in love. Distribute copies of Handout 1, A Rumi Poem. Lead a "What do we have here?" discussion about the poems. Use these questions:
Lead a "What's the Big Idea?" discussion about the poems. Use these questions:
CLOSING (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Description of Activity
Use the Closing designed by your group or the one provided below.
Recite together Reading 712 from Singing the Living Tradition:
Do not be conformed to this world,
But be transformed by the renewing of your minds.
— Romans 12
Extinguish the chalice.
FAITH IN ACTION: POETRY PAJAMA PARTY
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Host a Poetry Pajama Party for young children in your congregation.
This activity will help youth share their love of poetry with others and build multigenerational connections. When you have permission to hold the event, ask the group if they would like to share their experiences with poetry with younger children in the congregation. Youth who have not had much interaction with the younger children might be pleasantly surprised to see how many youngsters think they are extremely cool.
Use newsprint or the dry erase board to list the party logistics that you must settle. These may include:
If some youth cannot attend the party because of conflicts, invite them to help with prearrangements such as making phone calls, sending e-mails, selecting poems, or planning snacks. If youth have transportation issues, arrange carpools according to your congregation's safety policies.
If you are serving food, be aware of allergies and which foods are off-limits. Decide how you will obtain the food.
Now decide what you will do at the party. A simple party format is best, such as:
1. Children arrive in pajamas and set up blankets and pillows in a large space.
Organize an activity for early arrivers to do while waiting for everyone else to arrive. You might consider having them make simple animal puppets. To do this, provide cartoon-like pictures of the animals that are included in the poems to be read. Have children color the pictures, cut them out (with assistance), and glue them to wooden craft sticks. Instruct them to write their initials on the back and set the puppets aside to dry.
2. When everyone has arrived, play a game. You may need another room or space for the game.
3. Reconvene in the party room. While participants take turns reading poems, children could snack on popcorn or another easy snack. Consider interspersing popular children's songs, riddles, or jokes between the poems. Alternatively, you could read poems for several minutes, stop for a craft activity related to the poetry, and then read a bit more before children collect their crafts and go home.
Decide which poems the group will read and by whom. Youth might have favorite books of poetry from their childhood. If not, search the library, ask a children's librarian, or check out these suggestions:
Other ideas:
With a few adjustments, the Poetry Pajama Party could be held at a local library and include children from the community.
Including All Participants
Check with the congregation's religious educator to see if any of the children who will be attending the party have food allergies or other special needs. Bring these needs to the program participants' attention so they can be prepared to provide whatever each child needs to fully participate in the event's activities. During planning, if anyone proposes an idea that cannot be made accessible for every child who MIGHT attend do not use that idea.
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
With your co-leader, discuss which activities were successful and which ones were less so. The date, time, and location of the Poetry Slam should be set by now. Start thinking about publicity outlets, especially congregational newsletters that might be printed a month in advance. If advance publicity is needed before Workshop 12, Poems On Stage, will be offered, let the group know. The quickest way to get word out about the Poetry Slam is to get permission from the group for co-leaders to write a short blurb for advance publicity. You might discover that a youth or two is interested in working with you and is able to do so at an agreed-upon time outside of regular meeting time.
TAKING IT HOME
With my poems, I finally won even my mother. The longest wooing of my life.
Marge Piercy
DURING TODAY'S SESSION...
We drew pictures of our own fairy tale romances. We discussed popular notions of romantic love and our own ideas about what that might look and feel like. We read a poem about lovers being together as one and examined that concept for its desirability.
REFLECTION QUESTION:
Which couple in your life exemplifies your notion of ideal love?
EXPLORE THE TOPICS FURTHER WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS...
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: LYRICS AS POETRY (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants use the lyrics of popular songs to discuss cultural attitudes toward love.
Provide each participant with a few index cards and a pen or pencil. Ask everyone to think of song lyrics from popular songs—contemporary or older—that deal with romantic love and write down on each card a phrase from the lyrics. Have participants place their cards in a box, hat, or other container when completed.
While participants are working, draw a line down the middle of a sheet of newsprint or the dry erase board. Write the word "lyric" at the top of the left-hand column. Write the word "assumption" at the top of the right-hand column.
When participants' index cards are in the container, invite one or two volunteers to draw the cards out one by one and read them aloud. Ask another volunteer to write the lines and phrases in the left-hand column of the chart.
Choose some phrases to probe with the group. For each phrase ask participants to state, in less "lyrical" language, the assumption that it represents; for example, the lyric "You're my everything" represents the assumption, we are each incomplete and empty without someone else.
When you have enough lyric/assumption pairs, lead a discussion to explore our cultural beliefs about romantic love. Help participants frame a definition of love, based on the lyrics they contributed. Encourage them to discuss whether or not they accept the ideas about love that popular songs provide. Use these questions:
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 2: PERFECT AND IMPERFECT LOVE (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants analyze two poems—one from the beginning of the twentieth century and one from the end of it—that paint different pictures of love.
Introduce this activity by noting that love is a topic about which almost every poet writes. Tell the group that they will look at two very different poems about their experiences in love. Distribute copies of Handout 2, "To a Young Girl" and Handout 3, ".05." Ask for volunteers to read the poems aloud, allowing thirty seconds of silence to pass after each reading.
Lead a "What do we have here?" discussion. Use these questions:
Lead a "What's the big idea?" discussion by asking:
Ask participants to generate ideas about what these two poems have in common and how they are different—in both subject and style. Distribute pen/pencil and journals. Invite participants to either rewrite Yeats' poem in a Reed-like style or rewrite Reed's poem in a Yeats-like style. Reserve at least five minutes for participants to share their work at the close of the session.
EXPLORING OUR VALUES THROUGH POETRY: WORKSHOP 6:
HANDOUT 1: A RUMI POEM
Jalalud’din Rumi (!3th Century), translated by Kulliyat-e Shams, from Rumi's Divan of Shems of Tabriz: Selected Odes (Element Classics of World Spirituality). (England: Dorset Books, 1997)
you and I sitting on the verandah,
apparently two, but one in soul, you and I.
We feel the flowing water of life here,
you and I, with the garden's beauty
and the birds singing.
The stars will be watching us,
and we will show them
what it is to be a thin crescent moon.
You and I unselfed, will be together,
indifferent to idle speculation, you and I.
The parrots of heaven will be cracking sugar
as we laugh together, you and I.
In one form upon this earth,
and in another form in a timeless sweet land.
EXPLORING OUR VALUES THROUGH POETRY: WORKSHOP 6:
HANDOUT 2: CELEBRATION
This poem is written in dialect.
I will bring you a whole person
and you will bring me a whole person
and we will have us twice as much
of love and everything
I be bringing a whole heart
and while it do have nicks and
dents and scars,
that only make me lay it down
more careful-like
An' you be bringing a whole heart
a little chipped and rusty an'
sometime skip a beat but
still an' all you bringing polish too
and look like you intend
to make it shine
we be bringing, each of us
the music of ourselves to wrap
the other in
Forgiving clarities
soft as a choir's last
lingering note our
personal blend
I will be bringing you someone whole
and you will be bringing me someone whole
and we be twice as strong
and we be twice as sure
and we will have twice as much
of love
and everything
EXPLORING OUR VALUES THROUGH POETRY: WORKSHOP 6:
HANDOUT 2: TO A YOUNG GIRL
William Butler Yeats (1865 — 1939), from The Wild Swans at Cooley (1919)
My dear, my dear, I know
More than another
What makes your heart beat so;
Not even your own mother
Can know it as I know,
Who broke my heart for her
When the wild thought,
That she denies
And has forgot,
Set all her blood astir
And glittered in her eyes.
EXPLORING OUR VALUES THROUGH POETRY: WORKSHOP 6:
HANDOUT 3: FIVE CENTS
Excerpted from Chattanooga by Ishmael Reed (New York: Random House, 1973). Permission granted by Lowenstein Associates, Inc.
If I had a nickel
For all the women who've
Rejected me in my life
I would be the head of the
World Bank with a flunkie
To hold my derby as i
Prepared to fly chartered
Jet to sign a check
Giving India a new lease
On life
If I had a nickel for
All the women who've loved
Me in my life I would be
The World Bank's assistant
Janitor and wouldn't need
To wear a derby
All I'd think about would
Be going home.
FIND OUT MORE
Jalalud'din Rumi is the oldest poet represented in this program. You can find a biography of Rumi (at www.poetseers.org/the_poetseers/rumi/bio) at the website, Poet Seers. The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) website features a short piece about Sufism (at www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/islam/subdivisions/sufism_1.shtml), Rumi's religion, which influenced his writing. Sufism is a sect of Islam and is famous for its beautiful poetry and whirling dervishes.
Check out the biographical information about W.B. Yeats (at www.poets.org/poet.php/prmPID/117) on Poets.org. You can read about Ishmael Reed (at www.poets.org/poet.php/prmPID/750) on Poets.org, too.