FAITHFUL JOURNEYS
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Children
SESSION 5: FINDING BALANCE
BY BY ALICE ANACHEKA-NASEMANN AND LYNN UNGAR SUSAN DANA LAWRENCE, DEVELOPMENTAL EDITOR JUDITH A. FREDIANI, DIRECTOR OF LIFESPAN FAITH DEVELOPMENT
© Copyright 2009 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 11/7/2014 2:19:12 PM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
SESSION OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
To live content with small means, to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion, to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich ... in a word to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common, this is to be my symphony. — William Henry Channing
If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way. — Buddha
This session explores the second Unitarian Universalist Principle, justice, equity, and compassion in human relationships. Participants discover how, by finding balance in their own lives, they can promote equity across the interdependent web of life. They experience sharing resources and finding enjoyment with scant material possessions. We will add the signpost, "Find Balance," to our Faithful Journeys Path.
GOALS
This session will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
SESSION-AT-A-GLANCE
Activity | Minutes |
Opening | 2 |
Activity 1: Faithful Footprints | 5 |
Activity 2: Move It! Balance Games | 7 |
Activity 3: Story Basket and Centering | 5 |
Activity 4: Story — Finding Balance | 10 |
Activity 5: Minimalist Party Planning | 12 |
Activity 6: Minimalist Party | 12 |
Faith in Action: Birthday Fund | |
Closing | 7 |
Alternate Activity 1: Toy or Book Swap or Rummage Sale | 20 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
If it would be helpful in creating sacred space, light a candle or chalice. Read the story "Finding Balance." Reflect on these questions:
If you are comfortable, prepare to talk about your own choices around charitable giving with the group. You have an opportunity in this session to model the concept of living in balance.
SESSION PLAN
OPENING (2 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the children in a circle. Light the chalice. Point out the chalice-lighting words on the newsprint and invite the group to read together:
We light this flame for the light of truth, the warmth of love, and the energy of action.
Indicate the poster(s) of the Unitarian Universalist Principles. Or, give each child a copy of the handout. Ask a volunteer to read the second Principle in the adult language. Ask a second volunteer to read the children's version of the second Principle. Then, say:
Today we will learn about this Unitarian Universalist Principle — what it means, and what kinds of actions show it. Let's get started.
Collect handouts for reuse.
Including All Participants
If not all participants are fluent readers, take the time to teach the group to say the opening words from memory.
If the group has children who are sensitive to perfumes or other chemicals, use unscented candles or an electric or battery-operated flame. An electric flame is also recommended if you may not use open flames or if any participants are afraid of fire.
ACTIVITY 1: FAITHFUL FOOTPRINTS (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This activity reinforces children's learning as they model translating faith into action for one another. To strengthen children's Unitarian Universalist identity, help participants see how their own behavior demonstrates specific Principles.
Gather in a circle. Point to the Faithful Journeys Path and say:
Together we are taking a journey to learn what it means to live as Unitarian Universalists. Each time we meet, we talk about ways our actions show our beliefs about what is right and good. This is called "putting our faith into action."
When you share about something you have done that shows what you believe, you can choose a footprint or wheelchair for us to put on our Faithful Journeys Path.
Hold up the footprint you made of your own faithful action. Tell what you did and how it represents your Unitarian Universalist beliefs. If you can connect your action to a Principle, briefly explain. For example:
Ask the children to think of an act they have done, since you met last, that reflects Unitarian Universalism. You may wish to prompt:
As participants name their actions, write a word or phrase describing the action on a footprint or wheelchair cutout. Invite children to write their names on their cutouts and post them on the Faithful Journeys Path. Have them progress along the path over the course of the program.
To stay within the time frame for this activity, use these guidelines:
It is very important to avoid judging participants, either with criticism or praise. Avoid phrases like "Great job!" or "You're fantastic!" which might suggest that acts of faith vary in their value or encourage children to compete to share the "best" act.
You should, however, respond to each child's contribution. Listen carefully to what a child tells you. After each child shares, say something like, "Thank you for sharing," followed by a summarizing sentence, such as:
Identify the Unitarian Universalist Principles each act represents; refer to the Principles poster if the room has one or indicate a relevant signpost on the Faithful Journeys Path. By responding specifically to each child's faithful actions, you will help them feel pride, a sense of accomplishment, and their own empowerment as agents whose actions and choices reflect Unitarian Universalist beliefs and values.
Including All Participants
Along with cut-out footprints (Session 1, Handout 3, Faithful Footprints), provide wheelchairs (Session 1, Handout 4, Making Tracks for Faith) in the same colors of paper. Encourage all the children — not just those who use wheelchairs for mobility — to sometimes use a wheelchair instead of footprints to represent their faithful actions.
ACTIVITY 2: MOVE IT! BALANCE GAMES (7 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Tell the group:
Today we are talking about how we find a balance in our lives between having and sharing, between getting and giving. Let's try balance with some games. We will start with walking this "tightrope," the stripe of tape on the floor. You can choose to simply walk the tightrope and see if you can keep your feet straight on the line, or if you want more challenge, you can choose a different way to go along the tightrope, say, by hopping it on one foot, or walking it with one eye closed, or straightening a leg out behind you like a gymnast after each step.
Allow each participant to move along the tightrope from start to end, in the way they choose. Affirm each child for the attempt to balance. When all who want to try it have done so, say:
For our second game, the line of tape changes from being a tightrope to being a border.
Tell them this game is optional. It is for volunteers who are willing to test their balance, knowing that their partner in the game is allowed to try to push them. Ask them to listen to the directions before they volunteer. Then, say:
A pair of people will squat on either side of the line, facing each other. The goal of the game is to get the other person to lose their balance and fall over the line. You may use your hands to push the other person, but you may not grab them. An important strategy is to think about how you can shift your balance in a way that will throw the other person off balance. Please remember that shoving hard enough to knock over another person will almost certainly knock you over instead. If you lose your own balance or come out of your squatting position, the other person automatically wins the game.
Now ask for volunteers. If you have a larger group and/or limited time, you can have two pairs do this game simultaneously at the two ends of the line of tape.
Including All Participants
Adapt these games for those with impaired mobility. For instance, challenge a child in a wheelchair to wheel along the tightrope, keeping the tape squarely under the middle of the chair.
Make it clear that the second game is for volunteers only. Children who are uncomfortable being touched, or who may not like to risk being pushed, are free to pass.
ACTIVITY 3: STORY BASKET AND CENTERING (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the children in a circle in your storytelling area. Show them the storytelling basket. Say something like, "Let's see what's in our story basket today."
Tell the group the items in the story basket will be placed on this altar or table after the children have passed them around the circle. Take the story-related items from the basket, one at a time, and pass them around. Objects that are fragile or should not be passed around for any reason can be held up for all to see and then placed directly on the altar.
Briefly name the various objects, and ask whether any participants have ever ridden a skateboard. If so, what did they find hardest about riding it? Affirm answers; then say:
Learning to balance is an important skill in skateboarding. The main character in our story learns about a whole new kind of balance from his skateboard riding.
Tell the children that at Christmas time a few years ago (in 2006) something happened at his Unitarian Universalist congregation that gave the boy in the story a great idea about what he wanted for a birthday present. Explain that the story is something that could happen now — even at our congregation.
As the items come back to you, display them on the altar for children to look at as they listen to the story.
Remove the sound instrument from the story basket. Tell the children that every time you tell a story in Faithful Journeys, you will use the instrument to help them get their ears, minds, and bodies ready to listen. Invite them to sit comfortably and close their eyes (if they are comfortable doing so). Suggest that closing their eyes can help them focus on just listening. In a calm voice, say:
As you breathe in, feel your body opening up with air. As you breathe out, feel yourself relaxing.
Repeat this once or twice. Then, say:
Now you are ready to listen. When I hit the chime (turn the rain stick over), listen as carefully as you can. See how long you can hear its sound. When you can no longer hear it, open your eyes and you will know it is time for the story to begin.
Sound the chime or other instrument. When the sound has gone, begin telling the story.
Including All Participants
If anyone in the group is unable to hold or pass items, or cannot see the items, make sure you or a child in the group offers the person each object to explore as needed.
Some people do not feel safe closing their eyes when they are in a group. If any children resist, respect their resistance and suggest that they find a single point of focus to look at instead.
If you have a basket of fidget objects for children who may listen and learn more effectively with something in their hands, make it available during this activity. Remind children where it is before you begin the "centering" part of this activity. For a full description of fidget objects and guidance on using them, see Session 2, Leader Resource 2.
ACTIVITY 4: STORY — FINDING BALANCE (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
The story "Finding Balance" presents examples of both an individual child and a Unitarian Universalist congregation choosing to embody justice, equity, and compassion in human relationships by sharing their material gifts. The idea of equity is expressed by the concept of balance.
Before you begin, look around the room and make eye contact with each person. Read or tell the story.
Sound the instrument to indicate that the story is over. Then, guide the children in a brief discussion using these questions:
ACTIVITY 5: MINIMALIST PARTY PLANNING (12 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
The goal of this activity is to help participants explore the possibility of having fun with "less." Begin by asking the children to brainstorm what sorts of things they like to do at a party. Write these ideas down on newsprint. Remember that this is a brainstorming session, so write down all ideas, however outrageous, unless they involve harm to people or property. (If necessary, you can remind participants of the Principle of justice, equity, and compassion that guides our interactions.)
When the list seems complete, articulate themes that you observe, for example, "I can tell that we like parties with games and food and goodies for everyone."
Then post a new blank sheet. Tell the children:
Now we're going to try thinking about a party in a different way. We don't have a cake or a roller skating rink or a swimming pool (or whatever came up on the list). What kind of party could we come up with right now, using just what is in this room?
Give the children a few minutes to explore the resources available.
Use the chime or bell to call children back to the group, and then ask them to brainstorm party ideas using only available materials. You may wish to guide the conversation by asking "What kinds of games could we play?" / "Does anyone have a suggestion for decorations?" / "Can you think of anything we could make for gifts or party favors?" / "Do we have a way to have music at our party?" Write down suggestions. Then ask for volunteers to work on aspects of the party preparation. Be clear about how much time children have to create the party. Help children divide into smaller groups at appropriate locations to work on their party preparations.
Including All Participants
Find out about food allergies or limitations before purchasing any snacks, so that everyone present can enjoy them.
ACTIVITY 6: MINIMALIST PARTY (12 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Have a party! Make sure there is time for each group to present what they have prepared, whether it is a snack, a game, a craft, a song, etc. You may wish to bring in older or younger children to participate in your (brief) party.
Including All Participants
Suggest adaptations, as needed, so all children can participate in activities that other children have prepared.
CLOSING (7 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This activity helps children get used to practicing a closing ritual as a way of affirming their belonging in the faith community.
Gather the group in a circle. Thank the children for participating and sharing their stories and ideas in this session. Tell them something you liked about the way they worked together as a community.
Point out the Faithful Journeys Path. Say, in your own words:
Our Faithful Journeys Path shows our journey to live our lives and act in ways that reflect our Unitarian Universalist beliefs and faith. The signposts direct us by reminding us about our Principles.
Today's signpost is "Find Balance." It stands for our second Unitarian Universalist Principle, justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. We believe we can make the world more fair. One way is to help people who have everything they need find ways to share with others.
Attach the signpost to the Faithful Journeys Path.
Remind the children that the next time they meet they will have a chance to add Faithful Footprints to the Faithful Journeys Path. Encourage them to try, before your next meeting, to identify something they have enough of and take action to share with others in greater need. For example:
Point out the words to the UU Principles Song. Tell the children it is sung to the tune of "Old McDonald Had a Farm." Lead the children in singing the verse about the second Principle. Then, sing the entire song together. Explain that you will learn about all of the Principles during your time together in Faithful Journeys.
Distribute the Taking It Home handout. Thank the children, tell them you look forward to seeing them next time, and dismiss the group.
FAITH IN ACTION: BIRTHDAY FUND
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Like the character Ray in the story "Finding Balance," participants may wish to ask some or all of the people who would ordinarily give them birthday gifts to contribute instead to a good cause. If you have created a Faithful Journeys Action Club (Session 4), a birthday fund is a good way for the club to raise funds for a cause they have selected.
If the group creates a birthday fund, you will need to periodically remind participants of its existence. When someone has contributed to the fund, certainly take the opportunity to tell the group during the Faithful Footprints activity.
Including All Participants
Families may be in very different economic circumstances, and participants' expectations around birthday presents may vary considerably. Honor all contributions. Announce the total funds raised, rather than the amounts of individual contributions.
You may wish to encourage children to increase the fund through their own work, such as with a car wash or a lemonade stand.
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
Take a few minutes to evaluate the session with your co-leader immediately afterward, while it is fresh. Share your thoughts with any other team co-leaders and your director of religious education. You might find it helpful to consider these questions:
TAKING IT HOME
To live content with small means, to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion, to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich ... in a word to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common, this is to be my symphony. — William Ellery Channing
If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way. — Buddha
IN TODAY'S SESSION... We looked at real-life examples of people choosing to share their gifts — literally their holiday gifts and birthday presents. We talked about finding balance, and explored how sharing can create a balance of wealth. We also explored ways to have more fun with less stuff by designing a party using only materials that we had in our room. Our signpost to help guide us in faithful action was "Find Balance."
EXPLORE THE TOPIC TOGETHER. Talk about... Talk with your child about how your family makes financial choices. How do you choose charities to support and decide how much to give? What factors do you consider before making a substantial purchase? What activities do you enjoy as a family that cost no money?
EXTEND THE TOPIC TOGETHER. Try... Look through the drawers and closets of everyone in the family for clothes in good condition that you do not use. Decide together who might want them: A younger friend or relative? A thrift store? A shelter for women and children? Could you sell items in a garage sale and donate the money to a good cause? You may also like to give some durable food items to a food pantry, or extra blankets and towels to a homeless shelter or an animal shelter. Talk about how everyone wins when items get more than one life — the original owner gets to share, the new owner gets to enjoy new belongings, and the environment is healthier when we recycle.
FAMILY ADVENTURE
Go as a family to donate food, clothes, toys, or linens. A trip to a food pantry, a transition house for the homeless, or an animal shelter lends immediacy to the sense of sharing and provides children a clearer picture of the need that exists.
A FAMILY GAME
We played some balance games in our group today. You might want to have a family competition to see who can balance on one foot for the longest. Try standing on the left foot and standing on the right, and see which is harder for each person. For a real challenge, try standing on one foot with your eyes closed. For contrast, try standing on one foot while you focus on a particular spot in front of you. You may find it easier to stay in balance when you hold your vision steady!
FAMILY DISCOVERY
The Second Harvest website can help you locate a food bank (at www.no-hunger.org/) near you that accepts food donations. Also, locate a pet shelter to donate linens or pet care items.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: TOY OR BOOK SWAP OR RUMMAGE SALE (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This activity demonstrates that recycling is a win-win method of sharing resources and (if you hold a sale) provides an opportunity to raise money for the Faithful Journeys Action Club (Session 4) or a particular cause.
For a simple toy or book exchange, invite children to bring toys or books they no longer use or want. Arrange those items on a table. Have participants draw numbers from a hat to determine the order in which children will have the opportunity to select an item.
Or, use the session time for children to set up items they have brought for a rummage sale to which everyone in the congregation is invited. Children can make signs that give prices (e.g., "Books, 50 cents"), direct buyers to the sale location, or inform buyers where the money raised will be donated.
FAITHFUL JOURNEYS: SESSION 5:
STORY: FINDING BALANCE
"So, Ray," asked his mother, "what do you want for your birthday?"
It was a surprisingly hard question to answer. What did he want for his birthday? "I don't know, Mom. Can I get back to you on that one?"
Ray grabbed his skateboard and went out to the driveway to think as he rode. What did he want for his birthday? It was the kind of question that deserved his best thinking. Ray remembered back to his birthday a year ago, when he unwrapped the skateboard he was riding now. He felt a wave of excitement rush over him once again as he pictured unwrapping the bright purple box. He had barely taken the time to yell: "Cool! Thanks!" before he ran off to call his best friend, Vikram, to let him know that they would be riding together now. Ray thought back to all the time he had spent on the driveway, practicing his tricks. He'd gotten pretty good in just a year! There must be something else for this year that would be as much fun.
As Ray cruised down the slope of the driveway, his mind drifted back to that first day, when Vikram had come over to teach him how to ride the board. "It's all about balance," he'd said, "and balance is all about knowing where your center is." As he approached the bottom of the driveway, Ray shifted his center of gravity just a bit to the right, pushing the board into a turn. "It's all about balance, and balance is all about knowing where your center is."
"Funny," thought Ray, "but I think my center is right here, riding my skateboard. This is where my life feels balanced, where I feel the most like me. What other birthday present is going to do that?"
All of a sudden, the idea came to Ray in a flash. He remembered how his church, the First Unitarian Church of Rochester, had started something different that people could do around Christmas. Every family in the congregation was asked to think about what they would usually spend on Christmas presents, and then to give half of that amount to a special fund at the church, the Greater Good program. Ray had been amazed when their one congregation had raised $64,000! The money had gone to help local families, and to help a village in Honduras get fresh water.
Ray had worried, at first, about having only half a Christmas. But it had been, after all, a whole Christmas, only with not so many presents. And somehow the good feeling of helping out families with so much less than he had lasted longer than the excitement of unwrapping a whole pile of gifts.
Ray wondered, "What would it be like to have half a birthday?" Maybe pretty good.
"Hey, Ray!" someone called, interrupting his thoughts.
"Oh, hi, Sebastian," Ray said, jumping gracefully off his skateboard. "What's up?"
Sebastian was in Ray's class at school, but they did not usually play together outside of school. Sebastian was not a skateboarder. Now he was just sitting on the front steps of his building.
"Nothing much," Sebastian said. "I just came outside for a little while. I'm not doing anything." Ray noticed that Sebastian was looking at Ray's skateboard.
"Do you want to try it?" Ray asked.
Sebastian frowned. "Sure I do, but I don't know how. It looks hard."
"Well, I could show you. I could help you," Ray said.
Ray handed Sebastian the skateboard. Sebastian looked like he did not know what to do with it. "Okay," Ray said, taking the skateboard back. He showed Sebastian how to place his left foot and kick off with his right. Then Sebastian tried it. He wiggled too much and quickly jumped off, looking embarrassed. But then he tried it again. Ray encouraged Sebastian. He heard himself saying the same words Vikram had said to him: "It's all about balance, finding your center."
By the time Ray had to go home, Sebastian was really catching on. He hopped off the skateboard and handed it back to Ray, a big smile on his face.
"You should get a skateboard, too," Ray told him. "You could ride around with Vikram and me."
"Yeah, that would be cool," Sebastian said, "but I don't think that's going to happen. There's not a lot of money for big presents at my house, but I had fun learning how to do it. Thanks a lot."
"Sure," said Ray. "See you tomorrow."
"Yeah, see you tomorrow," said Sebastian, and went back into his building. Watching the door close behind Sebastian, Ray felt sad. It wasn't fair that some kids could have a skateboard, and other kids who would really like riding one could not. It wasn't fair when kids wanted to play a sport, and their families could not pay for all the fees and equipment and special clothes.
Suddenly, Ray knew what he wanted for his birthday. He pushed his board back up the driveway as fast as he could go. "Mom! I know what I want for my birthday! I want half a birthday!" The words tumbled out of his mouth as Ray explained. It didn't take his mother long to figure it out.
"A sports fund for kids. What a great idea! I think we could get a lot of people's help at church."
"Could a sports fund be part of the Greater Good program?" Ray asked. "There are so many people at church, and everyone has a birthday. Every year. Not just the kids, either. If all the kids and all the grown-ups at church were willing to have half a birthday, that's a lot of money for skateboards and helmets for kids whose families can't afford them."
"Frankly, I had no idea what to get you," his mother said. "Goodness knows there's enough stuff in your bedroom, and all you really like to play with is your skateboard."
"I could give away other stuff. But not my skateboard," said Ray.
"Well, your idea involves giving up presents you don't really need," said his mother. "Then we can use the money to help other people get something they do need. It's kind of like having your cake and eating it too."
"Oh, I definitely want cake on my birthday."
"That's not what I meant." His mom laughed. "I just meant it's the kind of birthday present that is good in a lot of different ways. It's very... "
"Balanced?" Ray filled in.
"Yes," said his mom. "You give up some birthday presents, and you get back something much more valuable. You will know you helped make things more fair. When the gifts you gave up help someone else, that makes a kind of balance. If that makes any kind of sense."
"Yep," said Ray. "It does. If I can find my center and my balance, that's the best birthday present I can think of."
FAITHFUL JOURNEYS: SESSION 5:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: PICTURE OF FIRST UNITARIAN CHURCH OF ROCHESTER
Provided by the First Unitarian Church of Rochester, New York.
FAITHFUL JOURNEYS: SESSION 5:
LEADER RESOURCE 2: SIGNPOST FOR SESSION 5
Cut out the signpost to add to your Faithful Journeys Path.
FIND OUT MORE
Creative Reuse
Freecycle (at www.freecycle.org/)helps people connect with others in their community to ask for free donations of items they need, or to offer to give away items they no longer want.
First Unitarian Church of Rochester, New York
Read a Greater Good program of the First Unitarian Church of Rochester (at www.uuworld.org/news/articles/8611.shtml), New York, which inspires this session's story, "Finding Balance."
The First Unitarian Church 's web page about (at rochesterunitarian.org/greatergood.html) Greater Good (at rochesterunitarian.org/greatergood.html)provides updates about fund-recipient organizations and explains how the project works:
Each of us is asked to tally what we spend on the holiday season from presents, wrappings, trimmings, travel, food, and entertainment. Then take that number and cut it in half, and contribute that to a project at the church—a gift to the Greater Good. In 2006 we collected $79,000, and in 2007 $72,500, from members and friends of the church and members of the larger community. These contributions ... sure made "living simply so others can simply live" worth the effort and small sacrifice!
Voluntary Simplicity
Voluntary simplicity, or simple living, is a way of life that emphasizes choosing time to spend as one wishes over acquiring money to spend on material possessions. Resources online include a Voluntary Simplicity & Simple Living Resource Guide (at www.gallagherpress.com/pierce/overview.htm), Clay and Judy's homepage (at www.word-works.com/simple.htm), and the Simple Living Network (at www.simpleliving.net/main/)website, which includes a recommended book list and a search feature to find a Simple Living study group near you.
The Quiltmaker's Gift by Jeff Brumbeau, illustrated by Gail De Marcken (London: Orchard Books, 2001), is a lovely story about a king who learns to enjoy life when a quilt maker convinces him to give his possessions away.