PRINCIPLED COMMITMENT
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Adults
WORKSHOP 11: FAITH AND CELEBRATION
BY MELANIE J. DAVIS STEPHANIE HAYMAKER, PH.D. CRAIG HIRSHBERG, M.DIV. RICHARD BELLINGHAM, ED.D.
© Copyright 2008 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 9/29/2014 9:07:26 PM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
WORKSHOP OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
Who so loves, believes the impossible.
— Elizabeth Barrett Browning, nineteenth-century poet
This final Principled Commitment workshop has two parts. First, it looks at the spiritual dimension of relationships. What is the role of faith, and how does it intertwine in the deep connection of two people? Participants will be invited to articulate the mutual identity of two lives coming together in a healthy and whole relationship. Second, the workshop is a culmination and celebration of life and love within the community. This is an opportunity to honor the work and effort of the participants and to express the joy of coming together, making new friends, and deepening relationships with partners.
This is the last time these individuals will gather as a Principled Commitment group. Therefore, this workshop is designed to emphasize what participants have learned and to provide an opportunity for them to articulate their learning.
Guiding Unitarian Universalist Principles
All Seven Principles
This final workshop is a culmination of all that has been explored and learned during the program. Couples will explore their faith, naming those things on which they "place their hearts." Individuals will be able to celebrate their part in a shared identity made up of two lives that have come together in a healthy and whole relationship. It is a well-deserved celebration of life and love among the community.
Considerations for Adaptation
The core activities in this workshop fill two hours. You can plan a celebration directly after the activities, in which case extra time must be budgeted, or you can plan a celebration for a future date.
The celebration can range from sharing a simple snack to a potluck dinner at someone's home. You may want to invite participants to plan the celebration. Elect to celebrate in a way that makes sense to the group and fits with its level of interpersonal bonding.
If couples have not had time to complete their couple covenants before this workshop, offer some time for them to do so before Activity 3, Couple Covenants Revisited.
Alternate Activity 3, Creating Couple Altars, provides a creative and concrete way for couples to take their learnings from Principled Commitment home.
GOALS
This workshop will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
WORKSHOP-AT-A-GLANCE
Activity | Minutes |
Welcoming and Entering | |
Opening | 10 |
Activity 1: Check-in | 20 |
Activity 2: Relationships and Faith | 30 |
Activity 3: Couple Covenants Revisited | 30 |
Activity 4: Program Evaluation | 10 |
Closing | 20 |
Alternate Activity 1: Celebration | 60 |
Alternate Activity 2: Faith in Action — Principled Commitment | 30 |
Alternate Activity 3: Creating Couple Altars | 45 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
Set aside some time to reflect on your faith. In what or whom do you have faith? What do you "place your heart on"? How do you express that faith in daily life?
Recall how you have felt leading this program. Consider writing your thoughts down and sharing some of them with the group on the last day you meet.
WORKSHOP PLAN
WELCOMING AND ENTERING
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
As participants enter, invite them to sign in and create name tags. Direct their attention to the agenda for this workshop.
OPENING (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Refer to Leader Resource 1, Order of Service — Faith and Celebration, to conduct the opening. You may adapt the service to fit with your group's interest as well as your congregation's identity and customs. The Order of Service is provided as a starting point.
Including All Participants
Pay attention to the modulation of your voice throughout the opening, and particularly during the meditation. Make sure that your tone is gentle and meditative, but keep your volume high enough to be heard throughout the room. Note that some participants may need to keep their eyes open during the meditation in order to understand your words.
ACTIVITY 1: CHECK-IN (20 MINUTES)
Description of Activity
Invite participants to take turns briefly sharing insights they have had since the previous workshop on love. Ask:
You can take more time than usual for this activity, as it is the final check-in of the program.
ACTIVITY 2: RELATIONSHIPS AND FAITH (30 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Description of Activity
Introduce the activity with these or similar words:
The term "faith" has many meanings. The most common expression of the term reflects a belief in things that can't be proven through conventional means, such as a belief in the existence of God.
However, more ancient meanings of faith — from India and Rome — speak to a broader definition: to have faith in something, to believe in it, means to place one's heart upon it. We can place our hearts upon things that are both proven and unproven. That on which we place our hearts is that toward which we orient our lives.
Faith can also mean a sort of confidence, a belief in the potential of tomorrow. Sometimes faith comes in the form of patience, which allows things to take their natural course, to unfold in their own natural time.
Invite participants to reflect what they have faith in — what they orient their lives toward, both as individuals and as couples. Record ideas on newsprint.
Ask participants to choose some items from the list that speak to them most clearly, and to pair up with their partners to discuss their understanding of faith with each other. Suggest that they include in their discussion the question of how they might express their faith in their daily lives.
ACTIVITY 3: COUPLE COVENANTS REVISITED (30 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Invite willing couples to share the covenants they have created together. Remind the group of its ground rules and its commitment to confidentiality. Clarify that couples may choose to keep some or all of their covenant private.
Couples can take turns coming to the front of the group and reading the words that they have pledged to affirm and strive for together. After each covenant is read, affirm the thoughtfulness, care, and hard work demonstrated in it. Invite all those present to pledge their support of this couple in fulfilling their covenant together.
After all couples who wish to have shared, discuss:
Encourage participants to frame their covenants and put them in a prominent place at home, so they are reminded of what they promised to each other.
ACTIVITY 4: PROGRAM EVALUATION (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Distribute Handout 1, Principled Commitment Participant Evaluation, and pens or pencils. Ask all participants to complete the evaluation now. Collect the evaluations when finished.
CLOSING (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather participants around the chalice. Light the chalice (if it is not still lit) and a tea candle, and express gratitude for the group and what has been learned.
Invite each participant to light a candle and share something she/he has learned or would like to say to the group.
Invite everyone to sing a familiar song or hymn. Distribute songbooks or post the lyrics.
As you extinguish the chalice, read the following closing words:
May our efforts here fuel the fires of connection in this world. May our individual efforts take us one step closer to creating a world of inherent worth and dignity for every person, beginning right here with our partners. Blessed be; may it be so; amen.
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
Meet with your co-leader soon after the workshop to evaluate the experience of leading Principled Commitment. Consider these questions:
Read participants' evaluations together. Arrange for copies of the evaluations to be sent to the Adult Programs Director at the UUA, 25 Beacon St., Boston, MA 02108, or e-mail them to adultprograms@uua.org.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: CELEBRATION (60 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Invite participants to socialize and celebrate as planned. You may wish to display the altars and other craft projects that participants have completed.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 2: FAITH IN ACTION — PRINCIPLED COMMITMENT (30 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Invite couples to sit together. Assign each couple one of the seven Principles.
Allow five to ten minutes or more for couples to apply the following two questions to their assigned Principle:
After the reflection, invite each couple to share their reflections with the larger group. Encourage participants to add their ideas for how to live this Principle in a relationship.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 3: CREATING COUPLE ALTARS (45 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Explain that in this activity, couples will jointly create a piece that expresses their faith in one another as well as their broader faith. This piece will be an altar, or focal point, to use for moments of shared contemplation, meditation, or prayer in the home. It can serve as a centerpiece at the dining table, sit in the corner of a room, or be brought out just for special occasions. The altar or centering piece can serve as a site of family rituals and a reminder of the couple's faith and love.
You may wish to play meditative music in the background as couples create their altars.
Offer these or similar instructions:
Find your piece of fabric and lay it flat. This will be your altar cloth. Now take the board, which will be your altar, and center it on the cloth. You may line it up straight or position it diagonally, whichever you prefer. When you have it in position, use a pencil to lightly trace the outline of the board onto the cloth.
When couples have completed this step, continue:
Set the cloth aside for now. Use a pencil and ruler to divide the board into four equal quadrants.
Next, paint each quadrant a different color. You can choose colors that will coordinate with the altar cloth, although this is not required. Be sure to paint the edges too.
When couples have completed this step, show them the newsprint sheet on which you have listed examples of possible themes for the four quadrants. Explain:
You can choose to leave the four quadrants just as they are, or you can use the fabric and craft paints to add accents and designs. If you like, you can paint words or symbols on each quadrant to symbolize four different concepts or qualities. Here are some examples, but you can use anything you like.
After participants have decorated the quadrants, continue:
Now take your altar cloth and decorate the area outside the square you traced. You can decorate it in any way you desire — with a design, representations of things (flowers, sun, moon, stars), or icons. Decorate it in a way that is meaningful to both of you.
When the work is complete, or close to complete, invite couples to arrange their cloth and altar for display. (Caution them not to place the altar on the cloth if the paint is still wet.) Invite participants to move around the room and look at each other's work.
Suggest that at home, the personal altars from Workshop 10's Alternate Activity 2 can be added to the couple altar, creating a symbol of the individual and mutual aspects of each couple's relationship.
Including All Participants
Conducting this activity in a well-ventilated room is better for everyone's health. Some participants might be more sensitive than others to the chemicals in the craft products. Arrange the room so that participants can distance themselves from any "smelly" products if they need to, or provide distance between smelly products and participants by creating a station in a separate room.
PRINCIPLED COMMITMENT: WORKSHOP 11:
HANDOUT 1: PRINCIPLED COMMITMENT PARTICIPANT EVALUATION
Leaders: Evaluations are conducted primarily for you and your congregation's benefit. The UUA appreciates receiving copies of evaluations, the feedback from which can be used in future revisions of the curriculum. Send copies of the feedback forms to: Adult Programs Director, Unitarian Universalist Association, 25 Beacon St., Boston, MA 02108, or e-mail them to adultprograms @ uua.org (at mailto:adultprograms@uua.org).
Please complete this evaluation. Your thoughtful input will strengthen this program for others.
What was the most valuable aspect of this program for you?
What was the least valuable aspect of this program for you?
Which workshops or activities were the most memorable? Why?
Do you have suggestions for improving Principled Commitment? What might be added, changed, or deleted?
How strongly would you recommend this program to your friends?
Would not recommend it_______
Might suggest it to some_______
Would recommend it to many_______
Would recommend it to almost all_______
How would you rate the overall program on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being excellent? _______ Comments:
How would you rate the knowledge and skill of the program's leaders on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being excellent? _______ Comments:
Additional comments:
PRINCIPLED COMMITMENT: WORKSHOP 11:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: ORDER OF SERVICE — FAITH AND CELEBRATION
Follow this Order of Service as you lead the opening of Workshop 11, Faith and Celebration.
Welcome
Chalice Lighting
Principles
Guided Meditation
Reading
Welcome
Welcome everyone and explain that this workshop is a celebration of participants' hard work and effort over the past weeks. It is a time to glean and articulate what they have learned or gained over the group's time together. It is also a time to talk about faith and covenants — those things that can sustain a couple for the long haul.
Chalice Lighting
Light the chalice while reading the following words:
We light this chalice as a symbol of our faith: to seek truth and honesty, to build respect, and to foster greater trust among all people, beginning with ourselves. May we dedicate our time together to these purposes.
Principle
Introduce the guiding Unitarian Universalist Principle for this workshop: all seven Unitarian Universalist Principles.
We covenant to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person; justice, equity, and compassion in human relations; acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations; a free and responsible search for truth and meaning; the right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large; the goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all; respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.
This final workshop is a culmination of all that has been explored and learned during the program. Here you will explore your faith, naming those things on which you "place your hearts." You will also be able to celebrate your part in a shared identity made up of two lives that have come together in a healthy and whole relationship. It is a well-deserved celebration of life and love among the community.
Guided Meditation
Lead participants through the following guided meditation to center them for the rest of the workshop. Read the words slowly, pausing between phrases.
I invite you into a time of silence. Try to sit with your spine straight, with your feet flat on the floor. Perhaps close your eyes. Take a deep breath, inhale . . . and exhale. Take another deep breath . . . and exhale. Again; this time, as you exhale, let go of all the pressures of the day. Let go of the "to dos," the "should haves" . . . just let them float out of the room. You can return to them later. Take another deep breath. As you inhale, take in the energy of this place. As you exhale, let go of any tension or stress you might be feeling.
[Long pause]
Come into this place of connection. Envision yourself celebrating your partner. It is a gift you are giving each other. What does it feel like? What does it look like?
[Sit in silence for two to three minutes, then say:]
Please maintain this spirit as I read the poem.
Poem
Read the following adapted excerpt from "Song of the Open Road" by Walt Whitman.
Afoot and light-hearted, I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me.
Henceforth I ask not good fortune —
I myself am good fortune;
Strong and content,
I travel the open road.
I inhale great draughts of space;
The east and the west are mine,
And the north and the south are mine.
All seems beautiful to me;
I can repeat over to men and women,
You have done such good to me,
I would do the same to you.
Whoever you are, come travel with me!
However sweet these laid-up stores —
However convenient this dwelling,
we cannot remain here.
However sheltered this port,
and however calm these waters
We must not anchor here;
Together! The inducements shall be greater;
We will sail pathless and wild seas;
We will go where winds blow,
Waves dash, and the Yankee clipper speeds by
Under full sail.
Forward! After the great Companions!
And to belong to them. They too are on the road!
Onward! To that which is endless,
As it is beginningless,
To undergo much,
tramps of days, rests of nights,
To see nothing anywhere
but what you may reach it and pass it.
To look up or down no road
but it stretches and waits for you —
To know the universe itself as a road —
As many roads —
As roads for traveling souls.
Sit for another minute of silence, then say,
When you are ready, please bring your focus back into this room and join our check-in.
FIND OUT MORE
Parks, Sharon Daloz. Big Questions, Worthy Dreams: Mentoring Young Adults in Their Search for Meaning, Purpose, and Faith. Jossey-Bass, 2000.
Salzberg, Sharon. Faith: Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience. Riverhead, 2002.
Smith, Wilfred Cantwell. Faith and Belief. Princeton University Press, 1979.