Introduction

In this workshop, participants have the opportunity to talk about messages they received about military service. Expect a wide range of responses. Some people’s families of origin and some families today see military service as an honor, while other families shun it. The tone of discussion this week will set the stage for future discussions. For this reason, creating a covenant is especially important. Set the expectation that participants will respect one another’s viewpoints and will remember to bring their Unitarian Universalist values to every workshop.

Opening (10 minutes)

Materials

• Chalice, candle, and lighter or LED/battery-operated candle
• Chalice lighting words
• Name tags and markers
• Optional: Refreshments

Preparation

• Optional: List the names and scheduled meetings of future workshops on newsprint, and post.

Description

Welcome participants individually as they arrive. Invite them to make and wear a name tag or use a name tag they already have. You may want to make light refreshments available.

Gather the group and light the chalice. Invite participants to begin the time together with a reading. Read “Pueblo Blessing” from Bless All Who Serve (page 23):

Hold on to what is good, even if it is a handful of dirt.

Hold on to what you believe, even if it is a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do, even if it is a long way from here.

Hold on to life, even if it is easier to let go.

Hold on to my hand, even if I have gone away from you.

Invite participants to introduce themselves by name and contribute, in one sentence, what they hope to achieve by taking part in the Military Ministry Toolkit workshops. Leaders should introduce themselves; if you have military experience, tell the group.

Ask participants to indicate by raising a hand or in another manner if they have served in the military or belong to a military family. Say that whether or not they have military family experience, if they are interested in making the congregation more welcoming to military personnel, veterans, and their families, they are right where they need to be.
Share that this first workshop will examine the messages they have received, growing up and today, from family and community related to military service. For example, were familial and community messages positive, negative, or neutral about military service?

Say, in these words, or your own:

Families have tremendous influence over what information is shared about living and deceased family members. The narrative that is shared becomes the story passed down through the generations. If the family story is supportive of military service, one that acknowledges with pride the service of forebears, then subsequent generations will more likely have a positive attitude toward the military. In contrast, if the family narrative centers on how Pop Pop John returned from the service an alcoholic or Auntie Denise returned mentally unstable, then future generations may be less inclined to support the military or consider military service. While some people are aware of how their attitudes toward military service have been formed, others have never examined the formation of their beliefs.

Transition to the next activity by saying:

Before this examination starts, however, let’s make decisions about how we will be together.

Activity 1: Covenant or Group Agreements (10 minutes)

Materials

• Newsprint, markers, and tape

Description

Say, in these words, or your own:

In any group there is value in establishing ground rules or an agreement of behavior, also known as a covenant. A covenant is a list of guidelines that establish how the group wants to be together so that all participants feel safe. The guidelines usually include keeping confidentiality, speaking one at a time, and using “I” statements. In addition, we want to create a covenant with a multicultural lens, to ensure that it serves the needs of people from traditionally marginalized communities as well as the needs of people of the dominant culture. For example, if participants in a group are of Asian/Pacific Islander, African, Arab, Indigenous, or Latino/s Hispanic descent, if any have a transgender identity, or have a disability, care must be taken that their voice is not silenced by members of the group who have been socialized to believe that their thoughts or opinions are more valuable than those of people who are different from themselves. A covenant is a living document and should be reviewed and updated during the course of the program.

Post a sheet of newsprint and title it “Covenant.” You may want to begin by suggesting:

• Workshops will begin promptly at scheduled times.
• Everyone will respect one another’s opinions and their right to express them.

Ask participants to add to the list. Encourage each contributor to clarify what they mean (for example, “what is said here stays here”) in the form of a behavior guideline that is clear to everyone. Lead the group to agree on explicit confidentiality guidelines.

When there are no new additions, ask if everyone can agree to the covenant. You may ask participants to sign it. Discuss what happens if someone breaks the covenant. When all seem comfortable, post the covenant. Keep it available for the duration of the workshop series so you can refer to it in future workshops.

Activity 2: Individual and Family Military Experience – Messages Received (20 minutes)

Materials

• Newsprint, markers, and tape
• Timepiece (minutes) and a chime or bell

Preparation

• Write the small group discussion questions on newsprint, and post.

Description

Explain that participants now have the opportunity to discuss the messages they received from their family and community about the military and military service as they were growing up.
Have the participants form triads.

Each member of the group has two minutes to reflect and share on these questions:

• Who in your family served in the military?
• What was the undercurrent in your family about this?

Alert participants at two-minute intervals that it is time to switch speakers. After six minutes, ask triads to give each member two minutes to reflect and share on these questions:

• What messages about military service did you receive early in your life?
• What messages did you receive from your school and community?

Ask the triads to now reflect on how the messages they received from family and the wider culture influenced their own opinions. Give small groups five minutes for this discussion.

Reconvene the large group. Ask a few volunteers to share Seek diverse responses and point out the diversity of messages about military service that emerges. Say that it can be a challenge for a community such as a congregation to be supportive and loving to all individuals with such a diversity of experiences, opinions, and feelings. Remind participants that their UU values are resources they can draw on to help them do just this, and that these workshops are another tool. Invite participants to name UU values that call them to make their congregation a welcoming home for military personnel, veterans, and their families.

Activity 3: The Relationship of Race and Class and Those Who Serve (15 minutes)

Materials

• Handout 1, Who Serves Now

Preparation

• Copy Handout for participants.

Description

Share with the group:

The Conscription Act was enacted in 1917 and discontinued in 1973. During that time, wars and conflicts were fought with mandatory military registration and draft for all eligible males. While these programs were designed to ensure that all able-bodied men would serve if called, the system never worked as envisioned. For example, during the Civil War, men could pay a substitute to fight for them. During the Vietnam War, those with connections could avoid combat by securing positions in the National Guard or avoid service altogether with college and graduate school deferments. The United States has had an all-volunteer military since 1973.

Family history with the military and one’s personal opinions influence the choice to volunteer. Other factors may include aspects of the identities people hold, such as race/ethnicity, age, gender, and class.

Ask:

• What are some ways you think race or class, in particular, play a role in who serves in the military?
• Are any of these class or race identity factors reflected in your own family military experience? How?

Distribute and Handout 1, Who Serves Now. Give participants a minute or so to look it over. Then, ask:

• What do the data indicate regarding the race or ethnicity of military volunteers? What about socio-economic class? Age? Gender?
• Does anything surprise you?
• How do the data reflect your personal knowledge of who serves in today’s military? If you have served or are currently serving, do you see yourself reflected in the data? Do you fit the profile of the majority or minority? How do you feel about that?\
• Can you draw any conclusions from the data? Do your conclusions reflect any important observations one might make about our society?

Say, in these words, or your own:

This data confirms that we cannot make assumptions about who in our congregation might be serving in the military now, may have served in the past, or may be going to serve in the future. Different people with individual military experiences may have different needs. The congregation’s approach to being welcoming will need to be multifaceted. One size won’t fit all.