Introduction

In this workshop, participants learn about some of the challenges military families experience when military personnel are deployed or stationed away from home. The workshop suggests ways a faith community can be of service to military families.

Opening (10 minutes)

Materials

• Chalice, candle, and lighter or LED/battery-operated candle
• Covenant from Workshop 1
• Chalice lighting words from the booklet Bless All Who Serve

Description

Light the chalice and invite participants to begin the time together with a reading. Read or invite a participant to read words by Barbara Merritt from Bless All Who Serve: Sources of Hope, Courage and Faith for Military Personnel and Their Families, edited by Matthew and Gail Tittle (pages 62-63):

It’s time somebody told you that you are lovely, good and real; that your beauty can make hearts stand still. It’s time somebody told you how much they love and need you, how much your spirit helped set the free, how your eyes shine full of light. It’s time somebody told you. It’s time someone told you that with all your flaws and weaknesses you are an extraordinary person, well-worth knowing. No one—especially not God or the people who love you—expects you to live without making mistakes or stumbling occasionally. It’s time you looked at your own life with more kindness, gentleness, and mercy.

It’s time someone told you that you are not on this earth to impress anyone, to dazzle us with your success, to conquer all obstacles with your competence, or to offer one brilliant solution after another. We are happy you are here with the rest of us struggling souls. We are all striving to be as faithful as we can be to the truth that we understand. No more is required.

It’s time someone told you that the work you do to increase your capacity to love and to pay attention is more important than any other activity. As you advance closer to what is ultimately true and life-giving, you bless others.

It’s time somebody told you how absolutely beautiful your laughter is. You bring joy into our world.
Just possibly, messages of love and acceptance have always been circulating in our midst. The hard part is not seeking out these positive and creative affirmations that remind us that we are loved. The hard part is taking in the love.

It’s time someone told us all that we are valued and infinitely worthwhile.
And it’s time we believed it.

Invite responses: What resonated with you? Why? What did you find challenging? Why?

Activity 1: The Impact of War and Military Service on Families (15 minutes)

Materials

• Newsprint, markers, and tape
• Handout 1, Challenges Faced by Military Families (pdf)

Preparation

• Copy the handout for participants.

Description

Distribute and ask volunteers to read aloud Handout 1, Challenges Faced by Military Families. Discuss the handout:

• What was surprising or new information for you?
• How do you feel about some of the issues facing military families?

If participants are comfortable sharing the challenges their families have encountered as military families, invite them to do so.

Activity 2: Relying on Our Strengths (25 minutes)

Materials

• Newsprint, markers, and tape
• Paper and pens/pencils

Preparation

Write these questions on newsprint, and post:

• When was the last time you moved to another state? What were some of the joys and challenges you experienced?
• Think back to a time during your childhood or youth when you were the new “kid” in school. What was your experience making new friends?
• Think back to a time when you were going through a personal crisis or family crisis. Who was there to support you and how long had you known them?
• What skills did you use to meet these and other challenges similar to those mentioned in the handout?

Description

Explain that this exercise will help participants identify coping skills they have used to manage life transitions and challenges.

Ask participants to reflect silently on the posted questions for a few minutes. Then, have participants form small groups of four or five to share their responses. Distribute paper and pens/pencils if needed and ask groups to select someone to take notes on the skills and strengths mentioned.

For the last five minutes of this activity, reconvene the large group. Post blank newsprint and ask each small group to report a brief summary of their discussion. List the skills and strengths mentioned. Invite participants to appreciate all the great coping skills listed. If anyone identifies a skill they feel they may not be strong in, encourage them to work to increase their feeling of competency.

Activity 3: Support and Information for Military Families (5 minutes)

Materials

• Handout 2, Support and Information for Military Families (pdf)

Preparation

• Copy Handout 2 for participants.

Description

Say that no matter how strong we are, we all need help now and then; if you are in a military family or know someone who is, you may be wondering where to start seeking different kinds of support or information. Distribute Handout 2, Support and Information for Military Families. Invite participants to look it over, discuss it, and, if they can, suggest additional resources to add.

Closing (5 minutes)

Materials

• Chalice and candle or LED/battery-operated candle

Description

Close with the reading below, “Each Day” by Kristen Harper, from Voices from the Margins: An Anthology of Meditations (Skinner House, 2012).

Each day provides us with an opportunity to love again,
To hurt again, to embrace joy,
To experience unease,
To discover the tragic.
Each day provides us with the opportunity to live.

This day is no different, this hour no more unique than the last,
Except…Maybe today, maybe now,
Among friends and fellow journeyers,
Maybe for the first time, maybe silently,
We can share ourselves.

Extinguish the chalice.