The fourth and final session of this Common Read discussion track focuses on gender euphoria, celebration, and organizing for the future. Participants have an opportunity to share stories of their own gender euphoria, discuss the stories of celebration found in the book, and, finally, reflect on the “I Am” poems that they wrote in the second session. The session ends with a short discussion of organizing a follow-up action with interested participants.

Materials

• Chalice and a way to light it
• Name tags and markers
• Laptop or other way to show a video
• Paper and pencils or pens
• “I Am” poems written in Session Two
• (optional) Newsprint and markers, or a whiteboard and dry erase markers

Preparation

• If any participants missed Session Two and did not write an “I Am” poem, send them Handout 2-1 in advance and ask them to write one and bring it to this session.
• Create a contact information sheet and set it out, along with pens and pencils.
• Prepare to show the video “Retrospectives on Authentic Selves”.
• (optional) Write questions on newsprint or a whiteboard, but do not display them yet:
  • One sheet with the first four questions in Sharing: Gender Euphoria
  • One sheet with the fifth and sixth questions in Sharing: Gender Euphoria
  • One sheet for each of the three questions in Stories of Celebration
• If you collected or took pictures of participants’ “I Am” poems, bring one copy of each.
• Post a large, easily readable copy of the group covenant where everyone can see it.

Session at a Glance

Chalice Lighting (5 mins)

Ask a participant to light the chalice as you or another participant reads the following words, excerpted from “The Be-Attitudes” by Sam Allen (they/them), a student at Starr King School for the Ministry.

blessed are the ones who are themselves
despite danger. The price you pay for authenticity
is dwarfed by the confidence of your honesty.
blessed are the flawed
meaning blessed are all of us
who make mistakes, try faithfully to correct our missteps, and to
be persons of integrity in this challenging world.
we do our best, we miss relationships, and we build glimmering
castles with our friends and our other loved ones in this
place where cement stacks itself upon the earth.

Check-Ins (10 mins)

Once the chalice has been lit, direct everyone’s attention to the covenant. If you have one or two points that the group is still struggling with, highlight them briefly.

Then say something like:

For our last discussion session, please tell us the name and pronouns we should use for you today, and, if you like, briefly share with us how it has been with you lately. If you can’t think of anything, tell us the name of your favorite television show when you were a kid. I’ll start.

After everyone has checked in, have them make name tags for themselves with the name and pronouns they have indicated. Call attention to the contact information sheet that you set out before the session began. Explain that anyone who wants to keep in touch with other people in the group can leave their name and preferred means of communication on the sheet. You’ll be inviting everyone to take a picture of the list after the session concludes.

Sharing: Gender Euphoria (20 mins)

This session begins with time to share stories of gender euphoria. While this segment will generally be dealing with joy, some participants may feel jealous or excluded. Keep a careful eye to make sure everyone can feel heard and no one feels overwhelmed.

Say something like:

We talk a lot about gender dysphoria, but rarely about gender euphoria. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, gender euphoria is when some aspect of your gender really works for you and makes you feel whole, fulfilled, or simply happy. We’re going to go around the room sharing stories of gender euphoria that we’ve felt. I have some questions to inspire us; you can speak to any of these you like when it’s your turn, or talk about something else.

Reveal or read aloud the following four questions:

• Describe a time when you were recognized as your authentic gender—even if it was you recognizing yourself. How did that make you feel?
• If you have not experienced that yet, what do you think it would feel like?
• What’s your favorite part of being your gender?
• What’s your favorite part of being trans or nonbinary?

Spend up to 10 minutes sharing these experiences.

When everyone who wishes to has spoken, say something like:

These are the stories about our experiences that often aren’t heard. There are certainly outside forces that make this so, but first we’re going to consider what it is about these stories themselves that makes sharing them difficult.

Reveal the last two questions or read them aloud.

• Could you explain these feelings to a younger version of yourself? Why or why not?
• Could you explain these feelings to a cisgender person? Why or why not?

To get things started, call on one of your chattier participants to answer these questions for the gender euphoria story that they shared. Then invite others to chime in as they wish; some may welcome a little prompting from you. Spend 5–7 minutes on these last two questions.

Video: “Retrospectives on Sharing with Authentic Selves” (5 mins)

Show the video “Authentic Selves: Retrospectives.”

Stories of Celebration (20 mins)

Split participants into small groups of three or four. Explain that you will present three discussion questions for the small groups to consider. After this discussion, each small group will share their answers to the last question with the larger group. Groups may want to choose a spokesperson and note-taker before discussion begins. Make sure each note-taker has paper and a writing utensil.

Share or reveal the questions one at a time. After each one, give the groups 5 minutes to discuss it before sharing or revealing the next one.

• How did a story in Authentic Selves give you hope, either for the subject or for yourself?
• How do you think you, or trans, nonbinary, and gender-aware communities in general, hear and respond to these stories differently than a cisgender audience? Where are the commonalities?
• How can we best communicate our euphoria and hope to broader audiences?

The third question touches on a political issue in the transgender and nonbinary communities. It is sadly common for cisgender people to presume that transgender and nonbinary people must present their stories in ways that are palatable to a cisgender audience. Acknowledge this before you begin discussion of it, saying something like:

We’re going to set aside for the moment the question of whether or not we should be expected to share our stories in ways that are tailored to cisgender audiences. The question is: if we want to communicate our euphoria and hope to other people, whether trans or cis, how might we go about doing that?

After all three questions have been considered, regather all participants together. Invite each group to share their answers to the third question. You might collect all answers on a sheet of newsprint, a whiteboard, or a shared online document.

Revisiting the “I Am” Poems (15 mins)

If participants did not bring their “I Am” poems, give each person a copy of their poem. Organize the group into pairs or trios, and say something like:

Say something like:

Back in the second session, we wrote these poems. Now that we’ve talked about storytelling and telling our own stories, we might look back on them with new eyes. So in a moment, I’d like you to take turns reading your “I Am” poems to your small group and answering the following three questions:

• Does this poem tell your story?
• Is there anything you would change about your poem to better express your story? It’s okay if your changes would move it away from the formal shape of an “I Am” poem.
• What audience is your poem best suited to communicate with?

If you have the questions written on newsprint or a whiteboard, reveal them now.

After the groups are done considering their poems, gauge how much time is left. If things have been running quickly, you might invite volunteers to read their “I Am” poems—whether the original version or an updated one—to the whole group.

Next Moves: Caucus Organization (10 mins)

Say something like:

This is our last session discussing Authentic Selves and talking about the power of storytelling. So I want to ask if any or all of us want to continue meeting to talk about how we can apply the power of storytelling to change our community. That might look like organizing a Sunday service, it might be an effort to secure or update our status as a Welcoming Congregation, or it might mean organizing to put one of us on the board or the nominating committee. We can do big things together if we try.

Remind participants of the contact information sheet that you put out at the beginning of the session, and invite them to photograph it.

Remember that taking charge of whatever next moves the group decides to make is not part of your role as facilitator! You can join in if you wish, but you don’t have to, and you may need to set clear boundaries around the level of involvement you are willing to promise—especially if that level is “none.”

Closing and Chalice Extinguishing (5 mins)

Before you extinguish the chalice, acknowledge aloud that this is the final session of the Common Read discussion group. Thank everyone for their participation.

Then extinguish the chalice and read this echo of the opening reading:

Blessed are the ones who are themselves despite danger.
The price you pay for authenticity
is dwarfed by the confidence of your honesty.
blessed are the flawed
meaning blessed are all of us.

Allow time for participants to take pictures of the contact sheet if they haven’t.

End the final session.