The UU Common Read discussion guide takes the themes of identity, authenticity, family, support, celebration, and the ongoing struggle for greater safety and inclusion for trans and nonbinary people and invites participants to reflect on their own identities and experiences. This year’s Common Read selection is a collection of stories and an example of storytelling, and through this discussion guide participants can also engage in storytelling as a faith development tool. This track of the curriculum is specifically designed for cohort or affinity groups of transgender and nonbinary people. This includes the leaders and facilitators for the group because this track is envisioned as a step toward creation of a support network that will continue after the curriculum is used. If this does not describe your group or your facilitator, we recommend that you use the track for mixed groups.

Session Outline

There are four workshop-style sessions in this track. Each is designed to take around 90 minutes, but you could create more spaciousness by allowing two hours, with a break after the first hour. Sessions are most often offered once a week, but we encourage you to be creative in finding the best schedule for your community. No homework is required between sessions.

Session One is a general introduction to the themes in the book and begins to build community among participants. It will help the group develop a covenant and create a safe space for engagement, and then guide participants through some self-care and communal care exercises they can draw from in subsequent sessions.

Session Two focuses attention on the stories in the book and participants’ responses to them. The group can share their favorite stories, talk about their own stories, and start to investigate the power of storytelling in faith formation.

Session Three highlights the role of families and support. The vast diversity of structures in both families of origin and found families provides the foundation of discussion. The group will then discuss the support their own families have provided—or not provided—and the support that families themselves may require.

Session Four is a celebration of gender euphoria and the transformative power of storytelling. The group will share their favorite parts of being trans and nonbinary and explore how best to share that joy with wider audiences. Finally, the session ends by asking whether the group wishes to pursue goals beyond the discussion curriculum.

The discussion guide is primarily written with an in-person gathering in mind, while also including notes for online or hybrid facilitation. Some activities that are hands-on or expressive will need to be modified for online participants; the guide notes where modifications would be necessary. If you are offering a hybrid program, you will need to consider the needs of both in-person and online participants and may want to offer a different option to each.

Video Content and Music

In addition to the text of Authentic Selves, the Common Read will engage with videos that were created with some of the authors from the book. These videos help us deepen our engagement with the book’s themes. You will need a way to stream or download them and show them to the group.

The curriculum comes with the Authentic Selves YouTube playlist to use in recommended spots. All rights to these videos and songs are reserved by the original musicians.

Some Notes for the Facilitator

Avoid Outing People

In this affinity group track, all participants should know that everyone participating is nonbinary, trans, or gender expansive in some other way. This does not mean, however, that each person is comfortable disclosing all aspects of their identity. If you happen to know details of a participant’s identity that they have not chosen to share, or if one participant knows such details about another, it is important to avoid speaking in ways that will inadvertently out that person. Make sure not to ask people to disclose personal details they would rather not share, and caution participants to use the same care.

Allow People to Share Their Own Stories

Even if you already know the people participating in the Common Read, you may not know their whole stories. Don’t make assumptions, and always keep diversity in mind. There is no “us” and “them”; every identity may be present, and each is part of the whole.

Facilitate with Trauma Awareness

Holding trauma awareness, or being trauma-informed, means keeping in mind that some people have experienced trauma around issues like their gender, gender identity, or family acceptance, and that their past or current trauma experiences may mean that some topics or discussions are difficult or stressful for them. When speaking about abuse, illness, or other difficult topics, remember that people in the group may be survivors or may struggle currently. When speaking about topics such as family, support, or celebration, remember that not everyone has a positive experience with them, and that an assumption that everyone does can be painful.

When practicing trauma-informed facilitation, we recommend following the Four Cs: calming, containing, caring, and coping. Calming means helping participants pay attention to how they are feeling, and if the group or some individuals are feeling stress, encouraging them to practice deep breathing or take a short break. Containing involves cutting off discussions that may bring up some participants’ memories of past trauma or make them feel pressured to disclose such trauma. Such conversations risk making some participants feel emotionally or physically unsafe. By limiting engagement with past trauma, you can contain further trauma. Caring means both practicing self-care and being compassionate to yourself and others. Both you as the facilitator and all participants deserve care. COPING means encouraging all participants to support one another if someone experiences trauma, helping all access their own tools of resiliency. To learn more about the Four C’s, please refer to the resources at ACES Aware (PDF, 32 pages) and please visit the UU Mental Health Network for additional resources.

Preparation

First and foremost, we recommend reading the entire book, making notes of things that stand out to you in the stories. Once you have read the book, you can begin preparing for the curriculum.

As facilitator, you should read through all the sessions in advance. Each one lists the steps you should take to prepare and the materials you’ll need to have available. You may need to make copies of handouts, write discussion prompts on newsprint, or prepare slides to show online; for one session, you may need to gather art supplies or objects for a symbolic activity. Carefully read the sessions and allow adequate time to make these preparations.

Additionally, we encourage you to do your own personal spiritual preparation. How would you answer the questions or engage with the exercises in each session? Do any feelings of discomfort or distress come up for you? Give yourself time to process and work with those feelings before facilitating the session with others. Are there questions or exercises that you feel nervous about leading? How can you prepare yourself for them; do you need extra help or resources? Doing your own work ahead of time will allow you to be a calm, non-anxious, and caring facilitator for others as you engage in the work together.

Handouts and Other Materials

All handouts are included at the end of the full curriculum guide and are directly linked where they are used in the curriculum. They are labeled with the session number and the title of the material. There are seven handouts used or recommended in this curriculum, but only four are used in this affinity group track. You may choose to also share the support resources handout used in the Mixed Track.

Group Size

This curriculum was developed following a covenant or small group ministry format. While it is not a strict rule, we believe that the format will work best with groups of no more than ten or twelve people. We do encourage UU communities to offer the curriculum as many times as needed for all members and friends who wish to participate. If you choose to work with a larger group, you may need to adapt some of the exercises and materials.