This session introduces the idea of storytelling as a spiritual practice and invites participants to begin considering their own stories of gender and gender identity. It allows them to use poetry to explore their feelings about the stories in Authentic Selves. Some of the concepts discussed in this section may be unfamiliar to participants; make sure you understand them fully yourself before beginning.

As participants arrive, we suggest that you play the Trans Chorus of Los Angeles’s video “Victorious” (YouTube) or other songs in the Authentic Selves playlist featuring the choir.

Materials

• Chalice and a way to light it
• Name tags and markers
• Copies of Handout 1-1: The 8 Guidelines for Equity and Inclusion, and Covenant for any new participants
• Copies of Handout 2-1: “I Am” Poem Template and Handout 2-2: Storytelling as Faith Formation for each participant
• Pens or pencils
• Depending on your chosen option for the Introductions and Names activity:
  • Paper and writing implements; or
  • Words from a magnetic poetry set or a game like Random Notes, and magnetic surfaces such as cookie sheets or magnetic white boards; or
  • Slide or sheet of newsprint explaining the syllable structure of a haiku
• Newsprint
• (optional) Equipment to play music

Preparation

• Make copies of the group covenant that was created in the last session, to share with any new participants joining in this session.
• Decide what you want to highlight about the group covenant and prepare to say something brief about it in the covenant review.
• Choose an option for the Introductions and Names activity and prepare the materials for it.
• Prepare two slides or sheets of newsprint, one with the first two sets of discussion questions for the Favorite Stories in Authentic Selves activity and another with the third:
  • What story most resonated with you? What struck you about this story?
• What parts of this story resonated with your own lived experience? What parts were outside your experience?
• Have you ever had an opportunity to share your story? What was that experience like?
• (optional) Select some music to play during writing time.

Session at a Glance

Chalice Lighting (5 mins)

Ask people to make name tags for themselves as they arrive, and invite them to share their pronouns on their name tags. Before moving on to the chalice lighting, ask if anyone requests that the name or pronouns they have shared be kept confidential within the group during participation (this is an important protection for transgender or nonbinary people who might not be out publicly).

Introduce the chalice lighting reading,“Claiming Our Names,” as the work of Rev. Otto Concannon, who has served the First Parish in Malden, Massachusetts, since 2017. He is a white, openly transgender man from Canada, and lives in Malden with his wife, Amy, and their two children.

I claimed Otto as my name as an adult: a symbol of my identity as a transgender person. I claimed this name to help me think about who I was, and how I was going to be in the world.

But Otto wouldn’t be my name unless a Black transwoman named Marsha P. Johnson and a Latina named Sylvia Rivera responded to police-induced violence at the Stonewall Inn in 1969: two women of color who claimed those names for themselves.

It wouldn’t be my name if it weren’t for Rita Hester, a Black transwoman who was murdered in 1998, and the vigil of her death that led to the annual reading of the names of the dead: our beloved Transgender siblings killed by anti-transgender violence—the overwhelming majority of whom are transgender women of color—who often aren’t called by their right name in their obituaries or funerals.

These aren’t just names on a list; they’re whole lives with hopes and dreams just as our own. We have to say their names.

Then say:

We light this chalice remembering that our struggles for liberation are connected, from our ancestors to George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Tony McDade; to protestors—especially the Black and Brown protestors lifting their voices. May we all remember how inextricably we are linked in this fight for justice and freedom. May it be so.

Light the chalice.

Covenant Review (5 mins)

Remind participants of the covenant that they created in Session One and have copies available, especially for any new participants.

Highlight any section of the covenant that seems important to you with your group. Keep your remarks brief and speak from your own experience and authenticity.

For instance, say something like:

One part of this covenant that I’d like to lift up for us all today is the section called “Practice Self-Focus.” I love this idea because it reminds me to get curious when I am feeling irritated or having a reaction to something someone else said or did. I find that when I do that I’m able to learn more both about myself and about other people.

Or:

One part of this covenant that feels important to me is “Confidentiality.” I always feel more able to share deeply when I know my stories aren’t going to be repeated elsewhere without my permission.

Introductions and Names (20 mins)

Say something like:

We all are bringing many stories, experiences, and identities to this circle today. Some of these stories, experiences, and identities may be publicly known or commonly perceived by others, while others may be invisible, “closeted,” or only shared with people we trust. We will invite sharing here, but no one has to share any aspect of themselves that they do not wish to share, for whatever reason.

We also cannot assume that we know all aspects of the identities of others. We need to remember that any identity may be in the room at any time, and not make statements that assume we are all the same in some way. For instance, in spaces where people say “We’re all white here,” white-passing people of color may feel erased, and in spaces where people say “We’re all women here,” female-presenting nonbinary, gender-nonconforming, and transgender people may similarly feel erased.

Tell participants that they will share a story of one of their names: their chosen name, given name, family name, or another name that is important to them. Explain the option you have chosen from the three possibilities below, giving examples to illustrate what you mean.

Option 1: Six-word story. Each person writes a six-word story about their name. Examples:

My grandfather’s name, passed to me.
They came to America; spelling changed.
It meant hope, my mother said.
It never fit. I chose another.

Option 2: Magnetic poetry story. Each person chooses words from a magnetic poetry set or a game like Random Notes and constructs a short story about their name, sticking the words onto a magnetic sheet for stability. It can be longer than six words, but shouldn’t be more than a dozen or so. Examples:

Option 3: Haiku story. Each person writes a haiku about their name. Explain that a haiku is a three-line poem with lines of five syllables, seven syllables, and five again; display the slide or newsprint explanation you have prepared. Examples:

My mother chose it
To honor my grandfather
A name passed to me

---

In the Old Country
Our name was perfectly fine
Here it’s not, so change

---

Teacher mispronounced
But family loved my name
assimilated

---

Peter, what a guy
Doesn’t confuse old people
And feels true to me

When you have explained the activity, make sure everyone has access to whatever materials they need and tell them that they will have 3 minutes to create their stories. Acknowledge that this isn’t much time, and say that their story doesn’t have to be an artistic masterpiece. It’s just a way to share that may be different from what they are used to. Set a timer for 3 minutes.

When time is up, say that stories will be shared through a process of mutual invitation. Explain mutual invitation by saying something like this:

We’re going to use a process called mutual invitation many times throughout this program, and we’ll practice it now. This is a process for sharing power in group conversation. It can help us make space and take space, bringing sometimes quieter voices into the mix. In mutual invitation, the facilitator invites the first person to share. When you are invited, you can share or you can say “pass for now” if you’re not ready, or just “pass” if you don’t want to speak at all. Whichever you do, you get to invite the next person. If we’re ever unsure of who hasn’t had a turn yet, we can always ask for folks to wave or raise their hands if they haven’t had a turn and want one, and then invite one of those people.

Say that each person who speaks should start by telling the group the name and pronouns they would like people to use for them today, and then share their story or poem. Encourage everyone to listen and appreciate all the sharings, without commentary or comparison. Then invite one person to start, and continue until everyone who wishes to has spoken.

Have participants make name tags for themselves with the name and pronouns they have indicated.

Sharing: Favorite Stories in Authentic Selves (20 mins)

Say something like this:

Authentic Selves offers thirty-five stories from trans and nonbinary people and their families. These are people of every generation, from around the US and around the world, people of many races and backgrounds, and many occupations and professions.

Even if you haven’t read all the way through the whole book, just in the first five stories we meet a variety of people and families.

Post the newsprint or slide with the first two sets of discussion questions:

• What story most resonated with you? What struck you about this story?
• What parts of this story resonated with your own lived experience? What parts were outside your experience?

Have participants pair up to discuss these questions for 10 minutes. Then regather the whole group and say something like:

Storytelling is a powerful way to know ourselves and others. There are many ways for people to engage in storytelling: dating often involves storytelling; being visible may involve storytelling; giving a testimonial, writing a memoir, or sharing stories with our descendants (children, grandchildren) all involve telling our stories in some way.

Post the newsprint or slide with the third set of discussion questions:

• Have you ever had an opportunity to share your story? What was that experience like?

Have participants discuss it using mutual invitation.

“I Am” Poem (15 mins)

Distribute Handout 2-1: “I Am” Poem Template and writing implements.

Introduce this activity by saying something like:

An “I Am” poem offers a structure to describe yourself in poetry through repetitions of the phrase “I am.” There are many versions; ours focuses on gender.[1]

Give 8 minutes for writing. You might choose to play music during the writing time.

Gather the group back together and have them discuss, using mutual invitation, what the process of writing their poems was like, and what feelings writing it brought up for them.

When time is up, tell participants that they will return to these poems in Session Four. Either gather them up to hold for participants, photograph them before people leave, or just emphasize that people should hold on to them and bring them to the final session.

Storytelling as Faith Formation (20 mins)

Distribute Handout 2-2: Storytelling as Faith Formation and give people 10 minutes to reflect and journal on the questions.

Then pair people up to discuss the questions and their thoughts on them for 10 minutes.

Closing and Chalice Extinguishing (5 mins)

Regather everyone and thank them for their participation and sharing. If you have not collected or photographed the “I Am” poems, remind participants again to keep them safe.

Extinguish the chalice with a reprise of the opening words by Rev. Otto O’Connor: “These aren’t just names on a list; they’re whole lives with hopes and dreams just as our own.” Then say, “We extinguish this chalice honoring the stories we have heard and shared here today.”