Being in community can be challenging. But being in a faith community can give us the opportunity to explore our edges and test our assumptions.

Ordained ministers serving congregations have a unique role and relationship with congregants that doesn't have any analogies or parallels in other institutions. Healthy Boundaries are essential.

Have you ever wondered why people sometimes act out of character during times of stress? Here's a fun way of understanding how the Frontal Cortex and Amygdala work together.

Do you remember playing a game as a child called Traffic Light where a leader called out “green light!” and we children behind them would race to tag them. And then they’d call out “red light!” and we’d stop instantly. Sometimes so suddenly that we’d fall over with the momentum and...

The interdependence of our faith communities is integral to our polity (as is our independence). This is what makes us an Association of congregations. What can this interrelationship look like when it comes to congregational staff? Here are a few examples: Newly hired staff are welcomed and...

Covenant: A deep abiding promise, grounded in my deepest values, that I hold myself accountable to. Does your congregation suffer from constant, divisive conflict? Is your congregation looking to develop its first covenant to help members with healthier behavior?...

Avoiding triangulation will not eliminate conflict in a congregation but it will help keep it in the constructive and creative zone.

Systems theory is extremely helpful in understanding how people work in groups and why change is sometimes so difficult.

What can the congregation do in a crisis to avoid a crash during conflict? The solution mostly falls to the work of the driver of the car or the congregational leaders.

Many congregations have a committee to assist and work with the professional minister or ministers. An older model is the Ministerial Relations Committee, which tends to be an advocate for, and a support and guidance group to, the minister or ministers....

Whenever two parts of a system become uncomfortable with one another, they will turn their focus to a third person or issue as a way to stabilize their own relationship with one another.

“He said, she said, they said, and now we have a conflict!” “I don’t remember what we fought about, but I do remember how I felt when you yelled at me.” “When I hid the ‘send’ key, I didn’t expect this reaction!” “Now that we are in the parking lot, let me tell you what I...

S-H-I-F-T is a way to remember the basics of emotional systems (Self-Differientation, Homeostasis, Identified patient, emotional Familiy field, and Triagulation) and how they operatin in congregations.

Learning how to be in community with people who have different opinions or experiences is essential in UU congregations.

Self-differentiated Leaders know who they are well enough that they also know where they stand, and what they will and will not do; they understand the necessity of boundaries, and work within the congregation to ensure that healthy boundaries are in place and are supported; they can be clear in who they are, without requiring others to join them in that same place, but instead to be true to their own self.

Leaders know where their buttons are, and know how to manage their own anxiety; they recognize that anxiety serves little purpose in moving a congregation forward, and instead can lessen that anxiety and help the congregation focus on the issues involved, rather than the anxiety and fear that uncertainty can create; they are comfortable in and with ambiguity.

Leaders know how to read people emotionally, and how to help people feel safe enough to not be driven unconsciously by emotions. Leaders help people understand how to appropriately express emotions and to use them as forces to move the congregation forward, rather than trapping them in the past.

Emotional Intelligence—one of the recommended leadership development competencies—includes: Forbearance, e.g. having self-control, especially when provoked. Presence and functioning, i.e. a high level of self-awareness with an alignment between the body and the mind. Knowing and taking...

Learn how the human brain is impacted by anxiety in organizations like congregations.

Healthy and transparent communication needs to be mutual, with all parties taking responsibility for their words. Leaders should have firm policies against accepting anonymous feedback. And yet, there are times when cultural differences or power differentials require a nuanced understanding of healthy communication.