1 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,239 Welcome to the Congregational Leaders Conversation. 2 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,600 You are here for it, and it is you. 3 00:00:32,679 --> 00:00:35,359 So we are glad that you've decided to join us. 4 00:00:35,439 --> 00:00:37,439 It doesn't happen. 5 00:00:37,439 --> 00:00:39,920 A conversation does not happen without people here to conversate. 6 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,200 So this monthly program offers an opportunity 7 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,679 to hear from experienced expert guest speakers on 8 00:00:47,679 --> 00:00:51,200 topics of interest to congregational leaders, and 9 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:54,280 to be in conversation with them and with one another. 10 00:00:54,359 --> 00:00:57,359 About what we're noticing in our own congregations, 11 00:00:57,359 --> 00:01:01,479 you can definitely expect a lively conversation each 12 00:01:01,479 --> 00:01:03,799 month, and this month will be no exception. 13 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,920 I also want to lift up and celebrate 14 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,519 that March is small congregations month. 15 00:01:09,599 --> 00:01:12,640 And we have extended a special invitation to 16 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,519 leaders in small congregations to join us here this evening. 17 00:01:15,599 --> 00:01:17,599 So welcome. 18 00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:20,079 Welcome, we're so glad you're here, and grateful for your 19 00:01:20,079 --> 00:01:23,680 leadership in the small communities where Unitarian Universalism 20 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,319 is practiced across the continent. 21 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,560 We do record these meetings and 22 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,560 post them on our website for those who want to access them later. 23 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:35,680 The video doesn't include the time that we spend 24 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:39,799 in breakout rooms just this time together here in the large group. 25 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:44,760 So welcome, welcome to the Congregational Leaders Conversation. 26 00:01:44,879 --> 00:01:46,959 My name is Lauren Wyeth. 27 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,040 My pronouns are she or they. 28 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:54,040 I am a white person, um, wearing, um, tortoise shell glasses. 29 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,239 I have curly shoulder length, blondish 30 00:01:57,239 --> 00:02:01,359 brown hair, and I'm in my mid 50s. 31 00:02:01,439 --> 00:02:04,439 I'm wearing a blue navy blue 32 00:02:04,439 --> 00:02:08,520 top with a little silver necklace with a purple heart on it. 33 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,800 And behind me on my wall over one shoulder is 34 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:15,560 a bulletin board with a heart and our values 35 00:02:15,599 --> 00:02:20,199 and over the other shoulder is a bookshelf, the top of which holds a chalice. 36 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:25,360 And it turns out, boy, baby horse that I didn't know was there, but there it is. 37 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,719 Tonight's gathering 38 00:02:28,719 --> 00:02:31,879 is an opportunity for us all to practice some of the key 39 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:36,000 leadership skills that are essential for these times and 40 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,560 that you practice all the time in your congregations. 41 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:43,800 And so we ask that you lean into those skills in your interactions with one another this evening. 42 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,840 And we suggest the following group norms, which 43 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,159 you'll also find in the chat. 44 00:02:49,319 --> 00:02:52,439 We ask that you take care of yourself, 45 00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:55,719 that you extend grace to others as they do the same. 46 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,599 We invite you to share as you choose. 47 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:02,080 It's always okay to pass, to pause, to slow down. 48 00:03:02,199 --> 00:03:05,319 We ask that you share the 49 00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:09,280 time with others who are in the breakout groups with you. 50 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,400 You kind of have to figure out how you're going to do that amongst the 51 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,479 group of you that are gathered this evening. 52 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:19,159 In that space and here too, we ask that you speak from your own experience. 53 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,479 We will expect multiple perspectives 54 00:03:22,479 --> 00:03:24,879 will pause for repair as needed. 55 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,599 We will make joy for all the things for joy. 56 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:32,400 For I will make room for joy, for laughter, for curiosity, 57 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:36,280 for growth, for sadness if it comes for silence 58 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:40,000 when it's needed, and will honor confidentiality, 59 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,439 particularly with what is shared in those breakout groups. 60 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,919 Our tech host this evening is Ritoo 61 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,639 Chaturvedi, and I am your host tonight. 62 00:03:48,719 --> 00:03:51,759 My colleague from Congregational Lifestaff, 63 00:03:51,759 --> 00:03:55,039 QuianaDenae Perkins, is serving as the facilitator this 64 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,479 month, and our guests will introduce themselves 65 00:03:58,479 --> 00:04:00,919 more fully later in the program. 66 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:04,280 This promises to be a rich conversation for 67 00:04:04,319 --> 00:04:07,439 us all, and we're so glad you have joined us. 68 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:10,439 I pass it to you, QuianaDenae. 69 00:04:11,159 --> 00:04:13,159 Um, my name is QuianaDenae. 70 00:04:13,199 --> 00:04:15,199 It always both parts. 71 00:04:15,199 --> 00:04:16,279 I am an African-American woman. 72 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:18,199 Today I have on 73 00:04:18,199 --> 00:04:19,079 I'm literally looking on my own picture. 74 00:04:19,079 --> 00:04:22,319 I have a colorful headband on, colorful glasses, 75 00:04:22,319 --> 00:04:26,279 beautiful brown skin, and then a blue hoodie that says girl trek. 76 00:04:26,319 --> 00:04:28,319 You should look it up. 77 00:04:28,319 --> 00:04:30,120 It's one of the most successful, uh, ways black women 78 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:34,680 are access accessing health and community, and it is an amazing organization. 79 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,839 Um, and uh, I 80 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:40,040 have locks and you may see them come over my shoulder. 81 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,120 They're long and black. 82 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,279 So that is who I am and I'm in Ann Arbor, Michigan. 83 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,720 Tonight's agenda, um, before 84 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,959 we divide, dive into our program, we want to give you a sense of 85 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,160 this evenings agenda. 86 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,480 Coming up next, we'll take a few minutes to light our chalice 87 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,720 and gather, gather ourselves, then we'll take some 88 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,120 time to reflect on what's happening in our own congregations before introducing 89 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,800 ourselves in, um, in the small breakout groups. 90 00:05:06,879 --> 00:05:10,759 When we come back together, we'll hear from our guests for about a half an hour. 91 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:14,000 Following the conversation, we'll have a chance to process 92 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,800 and break out groups again before having some Q and A time. 93 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,360 Thanks, QuianaDenae. 94 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,959 And again, it's Lauren, and 95 00:05:22,959 --> 00:05:26,199 I think I forgot to mention before that I am one 96 00:05:26,199 --> 00:05:30,560 of your congregational lifestaff for the MidAmerica region of the UUA. 97 00:05:30,639 --> 00:05:34,000 So I'll add that in here, and then invite us into a time. 98 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,120 For a breath, and 99 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,720 grounding with these chalice lighting words from 100 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:46,600 Atena O. Danner, entitled Election Night 2020. 101 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:54,399 Dear 2016 self, 102 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,360 It's me from 2020. 103 00:05:57,519 --> 00:06:00,639 Before you ask, let me just 104 00:06:00,639 --> 00:06:04,399 tell you, I was, I am terrified as you are. 105 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:08,360 I wish I could say that this part has changed. 106 00:06:08,439 --> 00:06:11,560 I have no idea what is going to happen tonight. 107 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:14,879 I did make sure of one thing, though. 108 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,480 We won't be alone this time around. 109 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,560 We got us. 110 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,240 We'll face what is coming, holding each other. 111 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:34,879 We'll face what is coming. 112 00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,959 Holding each other. 113 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,839 So before we go to breakout groups for check in, we take 114 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:49,600 a couple of minutes to reflect silently on what's 115 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,240 happening in our individual congregations. 116 00:06:52,319 --> 00:06:56,759 Ritoo is putting the link to a document in the chat. 117 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,199 And you're invited to open that link now. 118 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:03,519 And take a few minutes to reflect 119 00:07:03,519 --> 00:07:05,600 and add your thoughts to it. 120 00:07:05,639 --> 00:07:08,639 It asks you 121 00:07:08,639 --> 00:07:12,759 to share out some observations about themes 122 00:07:12,759 --> 00:07:16,000 and trends that are happening in the congregation that you serve. 123 00:07:16,079 --> 00:07:19,199 If you'd prefer to simply 124 00:07:19,199 --> 00:07:23,519 use this time for quiet reflection and not report out in the document, that's okay too. 125 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,839 Either way, we'll have a 126 00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:29,680 minute or 2 of shared silence for that now. 127 00:07:34,399 --> 00:07:39,079 Next, we'll be heading into breakout groups of about 4 people for about 10 minutes. 128 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:43,199 You'll find the breakout group prompts in the chat. 129 00:07:43,279 --> 00:07:45,279 In your breakout groups, 130 00:07:45,279 --> 00:07:48,519 each person should respond to the prompt for the 1st round. 131 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,879 Um, and then, 132 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,120 Sorry, my screen got shrunky again. 133 00:07:54,199 --> 00:07:54,519 Oh. 134 00:07:54,519 --> 00:07:57,560 Sharing names, pronouns, congregation, and a theme. 135 00:07:57,639 --> 00:08:02,240 Then go around the 2nd time with each responding 136 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:05,399 to the prompt for the 2nd round, which is, when 137 00:08:05,439 --> 00:08:09,920 was a time where you help felt held by sacred community? 138 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,480 Take just a minute for each person in the round. 139 00:08:13,519 --> 00:08:16,560 Ritoo will send us into breakout groups now. 140 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,920 Tonight, I have the honor of introducing 141 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:24,439 my friend Simone and my friend Dana to you all. 142 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,600 Simone recently served as the director of membership 143 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:31,000 in spiritual life at Wildflower Church in Austin, Texas. 144 00:08:31,079 --> 00:08:34,240 She also serves as a on the national leadership team 145 00:08:34,279 --> 00:08:38,159 for the black woman of the chalice, is a member of LREDA, 146 00:08:38,159 --> 00:08:42,279 UUAMP, DRUUMM, and BLUU. 147 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:45,360 Simone loves joy practices, like 148 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:49,080 laughter, yoga, Afroflow yoga, meditation, and the arts, 149 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:53,159 which help provide the fuel she needs to stay in good trouble doing 150 00:08:53,159 --> 00:08:56,080 the work to build and nurture beloved community. 151 00:08:56,159 --> 00:08:59,200 Dana is a lifelong 152 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:04,399 practitioner of love at the center, an MDiv graduate of Star King School for the Ministry. 153 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,480 I don't know what our animal is, but go us, um, 154 00:09:07,519 --> 00:09:11,360 serves as congregational life coordinator at Beacon, UU congregation 155 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:15,679 in Summit, New Jersey, and we're not nourishing her 2 babies and healing her knees. 156 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:18,759 Dana can be found preaching and singing 157 00:09:18,799 --> 00:09:22,080 about love, nibbling cheese, and hugging trees. 158 00:09:22,159 --> 00:09:25,320 We ask that you stay muted 159 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,480 for the presentation and you're welcome to put any questions for 160 00:09:28,519 --> 00:09:31,039 us in the chat box for Q and A later. 161 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,600 I want to get us started. 162 00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:35,759 Actually, I'm going to add a step in here. 163 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,639 The 1st time you speak, if you could offer a visual description. 164 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,720 We would really appreciate that. 165 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,879 Um, and the 1st question I wanted to ask both of you is, 166 00:09:43,879 --> 00:09:46,919 Can you share a memory of a time you were held 167 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:52,080 in sacred community and or time you hosted a sacred community? 168 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:55,639 I'll let you paper rock scissor who gets to start. 169 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:02,799 So, um, good evening, beloved, my name is Dana Moore. 170 00:10:02,879 --> 00:10:04,879 I use she her pronouns. 171 00:10:04,879 --> 00:10:07,799 I wear dark glasses, dark 172 00:10:07,799 --> 00:10:13,480 braids in my hair, and a big pink smile on my face. 173 00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:17,759 Um, I am a woman of color with brown creamy skin. 174 00:10:17,799 --> 00:10:21,200 And, um, I 175 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:25,360 can tell you most presently, um, I've 176 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:29,080 experienced a sacred space being cared 177 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:32,840 for and loved by my hometown UU community. 178 00:10:32,919 --> 00:10:36,399 Um, I had a surgery last week, 179 00:10:36,399 --> 00:10:39,879 which has got me, you know, out of all things for 180 00:10:39,879 --> 00:10:43,120 a few weeks, which is great to take a breath, right? 181 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:48,240 Um, but having that 1st meal delivered to my door. 182 00:10:48,279 --> 00:10:51,759 Brought me to tears as I started 183 00:10:51,759 --> 00:10:55,759 eating it, just to think that so many people rallied 184 00:10:55,799 --> 00:10:59,200 around to make a meal train and have scheduled 185 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,679 days that they would just come and bring a meal to 186 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:05,919 help my family, um, while I'm, while 187 00:11:05,919 --> 00:11:08,799 mom is down, is just so touching. 188 00:11:08,879 --> 00:11:11,879 Um, You can 189 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:15,279 see the people working through the meal train and the, almost 190 00:11:15,279 --> 00:11:18,799 like the, if you know the people, the wheels turning 191 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,600 in their heads about the wheels and who's doing what? 192 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:25,679 Um, For me, Even 193 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:29,159 being apart, even being separate where I'm not there. 194 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,440 Um, that is a wonderful way that I 195 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,679 know I am held in community, a way I can feel 196 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:40,879 and taste and see, it lights me up through all of my senses. 197 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,159 How about you, Simone? 198 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:46,240 Thanks, Dana. 199 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,720 Um, hey, everyone, I am Simone Monique Barnes, 200 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:53,440 and I am an African-American, Caribbean American woman, 201 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,200 and I am my shirt that I don't know, 202 00:11:56,279 --> 00:11:59,200 it's kind of an animal print, but it's in odd colors. 203 00:11:59,279 --> 00:12:02,080 It's like blue and yellow and and rust color. 204 00:12:02,159 --> 00:12:05,440 So, um, I have natural hair and I'm wearing um, 205 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:09,080 uh, white ear, um, uh, earphones in my ears. 206 00:12:09,159 --> 00:12:12,399 So I'm happy to be here with you all tonight. 207 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,639 Um, you know, when I think of, 208 00:12:15,639 --> 00:12:19,639 um, sharing a space where, uh, a sacred community, 209 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:23,039 where I felt held in sacred community, I cannot help 210 00:12:23,039 --> 00:12:26,399 but think of a group of women, um, that the, uh, 211 00:12:26,399 --> 00:12:30,759 tell ourselves jasa, which is short for just a sister away. 212 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:34,919 It was, um, a small group of us that got together for a book club. 213 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,960 Or we were going to read a book. 214 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,480 Um, and everybody liked each other enough. 215 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,600 They were like, well, we should meet again. 216 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,399 And the 2nd book that we read was, um, Just a Sister Away, 217 00:12:44,399 --> 00:12:47,200 um, by the Reverend Dr. Renita Weems. 218 00:12:47,279 --> 00:12:50,399 And it's, you know, and it just, just 219 00:12:50,399 --> 00:12:55,840 the gathering and talking about faith and real life and everything, which is such an amazing experience. 220 00:12:55,919 --> 00:12:59,039 Um, and it was an interfaith group, 221 00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:02,399 and so we all just kept gathering and meeting and meeting, um, 222 00:13:02,399 --> 00:13:06,279 and this went on, um, for years, and the group, even though, 223 00:13:06,279 --> 00:13:09,679 um, we're not physically together anymore, um, 224 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,120 we've been meeting and and connected since 2005. 225 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,480 And, you know, the group, um, 226 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,879 we took turns sharing leadership. 227 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,960 We called it a lead in feed model. 228 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,039 So, um, somebody would make dinner or buy dinner 229 00:13:24,039 --> 00:13:27,559 and somebody would lead the discussion and so you could be an expert 230 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:31,360 in the discussion or you could have had a question and we're like, if you have a 231 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,240 question, you're the one who's going to lead the discussion and get us going. 232 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:38,759 And, you know, we didn't, what I loved about is that we didn't all agree, right? 233 00:13:38,799 --> 00:13:41,840 We didn't all have the same perspective, and we really grew, 234 00:13:41,879 --> 00:13:45,159 and and the reason I call it sacred spaces because, um, 235 00:13:45,159 --> 00:13:49,639 even now, I, my text messages, I'm on a 236 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:53,279 text message chain, with a friend who is heartbroken, she's experienced 237 00:13:53,279 --> 00:13:56,559 going through a divorce, and is feeling really isolated 238 00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:59,200 alone, and we're immediately like, nope, you are not alone. 239 00:13:59,279 --> 00:14:01,279 We're here for you. 240 00:14:01,279 --> 00:14:03,039 Um, I can share from my own personal experience. 241 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,240 Um, that group of, um, folks who gathered. 242 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,039 Um when I was experiencing breast cancer. 243 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,120 Um, I lived in Austin, Texas, the group that I 244 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:15,759 met with was in Boston and we've now spread all over the country and all over the world. 245 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,840 Um, every day I was prayed for. 246 00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:21,919 Every day there was a newsletter that went out once a week, 247 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,679 um, that was, you know, written beautifully that was like, you know, 248 00:14:25,679 --> 00:14:28,440 these are the concerns that we are praying for and that we are holding up. 249 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,639 Uh, a friend in California booked my 250 00:14:31,679 --> 00:14:35,159 car service for every single one of my medical appointments. 251 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,440 Um, someday, somebody found uh, 252 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,799 uh, an, a, a chef, um, that could cook and deliver food 253 00:14:41,799 --> 00:14:45,159 that I wasn't allergic to, because I'm notoriously allergic 254 00:14:45,159 --> 00:14:49,000 to carrots, and so just that beautiful thing that you can both, um, be held. 255 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:52,279 Physically, um, getting your physical 256 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:55,679 needs met, your nutrition needs met, spiritually, 257 00:14:55,679 --> 00:14:59,080 um, your community needs and to know that, um, when we think 258 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:02,240 of that sacred space, we immediately all think of the dining room table 259 00:15:02,279 --> 00:15:05,799 that we all met at, you know, so, I, I always think of 260 00:15:05,799 --> 00:15:09,279 that because, you know, sometimes we always think that sacred space means a 261 00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:12,559 church or sanctuary and it can be a dining room table where you've 262 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:16,720 had, um, meaningful, hard, emotional and beautiful conversations. 263 00:15:16,799 --> 00:15:19,480 Thank you both. 264 00:15:19,559 --> 00:15:22,600 Um, as you were talking, one of the questions that came up for me that 265 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,720 I think is important to kind of delineate in this space is what's the 266 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,759 difference between welcome versus private versus sacred? 267 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:32,120 Um, and how do those 3 play against 268 00:15:32,159 --> 00:15:35,200 each other overlap, not overlap, move in parallel? 269 00:15:35,279 --> 00:15:40,240 So I'd love to hear you guys' take on those kind of 3 ways of being and how they move. 270 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:46,200 That's a pretty big question. 271 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:50,120 Um, and so in my mind, I'm breaking it down, right? 272 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,200 Like, how is this relatable? 273 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,360 What is welcome private and sacred? 274 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:59,039 Um, when I think of welcome, 275 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:02,200 I am thinking of like a school lunch room table. 276 00:16:02,279 --> 00:16:05,919 Let's flip the experiences and make it welcoming, right? 277 00:16:06,039 --> 00:16:09,399 School lunchroom table has space for people to come, 278 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,480 people are constantly coming. 279 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:12,799 Private, 280 00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:15,440 I think of like a blue meeting, Black Lives 281 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,200 of UU, where there is an identifier 282 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:23,759 and reason people are gathering and not everyone is asked to join. 283 00:16:23,799 --> 00:16:28,720 And then sacred, I do think of of a sanctuary. 284 00:16:28,799 --> 00:16:32,679 I think of a, of a, 285 00:16:32,679 --> 00:16:37,360 mandala, a, a sacred path, walking path, what are they called? 286 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,440 You know the words. 287 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:40,879 It's labyrinth. 288 00:16:40,919 --> 00:16:42,919 A labyrinth, right? 289 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:46,039 Where, we recognize 290 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:50,919 this, um, this space, uh, and I 291 00:16:50,919 --> 00:16:54,159 think or maybe even a little more thoughtful and intentional about how 292 00:16:54,159 --> 00:16:57,399 we may or may not enter it, but a 293 00:16:57,399 --> 00:17:02,080 space that we know is there and and often open and welcoming for all. 294 00:17:02,159 --> 00:17:05,559 So that's as far as I got in my head, right? 295 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:09,000 That school luncheon table, maybe an 296 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:13,240 affinity group or a caucus group, and a labyrinth. 297 00:17:13,319 --> 00:17:15,640 Simone, where does it take you? 298 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,960 You know, I think of when you 1st 299 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,279 come to a faith community, right? 300 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:24,960 So that, that welcoming that, that gentle smile that being 301 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:29,640 noticed and saying hello and the bathroom's over here and we're getting ready to start right? 302 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:34,119 You feel you feel welcome, like somebody spoke to you, um, but didn't smother you with love, right? 303 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:38,039 Like, didn't over the top, you know, smother you up, but just this welcome where you're like, 304 00:17:38,079 --> 00:17:41,079 Hey, I feel like I'm allowed and encouraged to be here. 305 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,160 This feels right. 306 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,799 Private, I think, are those conversations where maybe 307 00:17:45,839 --> 00:17:51,480 you were sitting in the pew and you noticed that somebody looks a little sadder than usual, right? 308 00:17:51,519 --> 00:17:54,519 Or, or something and, and so it's that, that private walk 309 00:17:54,519 --> 00:17:57,319 from, from the sanctuary to the community room. 310 00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,440 It's like, hey, do you want to go for a little walk for a minute, right? 311 00:18:00,519 --> 00:18:02,559 Do you want to, can you help me throw out the trash, right? 312 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,759 It's giving us this space that's kind of away from other people 313 00:18:05,759 --> 00:18:09,839 where they can let down their guard and know that you're not going to say, hey, 314 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:12,400 these are all the things that are happening to this person over here, right? 315 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,480 So it's these, these private, um, intimate 316 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:21,119 moments, and you know, I think of, um, Sacred for me is there's kind of a, 317 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,160 I don't know, there's there's a vibration. 318 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,440 There's there's something feels different, right? 319 00:18:26,559 --> 00:18:28,759 There's something almost magical. 320 00:18:28,839 --> 00:18:32,000 Um, and and sacred can be, you know, 321 00:18:32,039 --> 00:18:38,519 the wonder that a child looks at one particular flower out of a sea of many, right? 322 00:18:38,559 --> 00:18:41,920 Something right, like the, and you see that one thing, right? 323 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:47,039 Um, sacred could be, you know, um, the pen, right? 324 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:51,240 That, that, you know, maybe your grandmother wrote used to write you cards with, right? 325 00:18:51,279 --> 00:18:53,279 And it's just the pen, right? 326 00:18:53,279 --> 00:18:57,519 But it's suddenly it becomes this beautiful thing that has like different kind of energy to it. 327 00:18:57,599 --> 00:19:00,599 Um, and then I think, I know we talked a little bit 328 00:19:00,599 --> 00:19:05,640 about, um, hospitality, I think, um, Yeah, and so, you know, just that. 329 00:19:05,759 --> 00:19:09,480 That's showing up when I, I think of hospitality, 330 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:14,200 um, at Wildflower, uh, Wildflower has a very active community room. 331 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,200 Um, a lot of people in Austin, Texas, 332 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,680 know Wildflower for, um, the use of its space, right? 333 00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:23,880 Activist, community organizers, 334 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,160 neighborhood groups, who, you know, everybody used knows that space. 335 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,240 And one of the things that everybody says when they walk in the 336 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,720 door is that the organizers are all like, this place feels like home. 337 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:38,079 Hospitality is, you forgot the napkin. 338 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,160 You didn't have enough napkins. 339 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,279 You know you can use ours, right? 340 00:19:41,279 --> 00:19:42,599 Like, wait. 341 00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,319 hospitality is, it's okay if you, 342 00:19:44,319 --> 00:19:47,359 if you don't put all the folding tables away, like, we'll do it. 343 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,440 We'll get to it tomorrow, right? 344 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:50,960 It's that feeling of like, I am home. 345 00:19:51,039 --> 00:19:55,839 I can relax and be myself and I don't feel like I'm in a museum, right? 346 00:19:55,960 --> 00:20:00,920 So, um, that's what I think of when I think of, you know, um, faith spaces and those kind of things. 347 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,759 So, Simone, that makes me want to. 348 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,880 Oh, were you going to say something, Dana? 349 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:07,279 sorry. 350 00:20:07,279 --> 00:20:10,039 So it makes me want to lean into this idea of what's the difference, 351 00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,119 So, and you use spaces 352 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:13,720 We are big on radical hospitality, right? 353 00:20:13,799 --> 00:20:16,920 And so it makes me want to just kind of dig in 354 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,559 a little bit about what, what is kind 355 00:20:20,559 --> 00:20:24,079 of baseline hospitality in a church space per 356 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:27,759 se versus radical hospitality versus sacred holding? 357 00:20:27,839 --> 00:20:29,839 So to kind of dig in just a little bit more. 358 00:20:29,839 --> 00:20:31,759 And I guess I'll just add here. 359 00:20:31,759 --> 00:20:35,440 The difference, like the thing that comes up, Dana spoke to this a little bit. 360 00:20:35,519 --> 00:20:39,279 The difference between a sign in the front yard and what someone experiences inside. 361 00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:42,640 So what are some of those things that that are key or 362 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:46,400 that you see or sense or feel when you experience basic 363 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:50,279 hospitality versus radical welcome, radical hospitality, which is 364 00:20:50,279 --> 00:20:52,359 some of our Unitarian Universalist language about this. 365 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:55,599 And then I, my underneath question is, how 366 00:20:55,599 --> 00:21:00,559 does radical, holding sacred space even differ from those kind of ideas, right? 367 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,920 So if you look at private versus sacred, right, what 368 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:08,440 is the difference then between radical hospitality and radical sacred space holding? 369 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,960 For dana, what comes up for you? 370 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,400 Radical hospitality and radical sacred space holding? 371 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,599 Is that the, those are 2 things that we're thinking about? 372 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,920 Yeah, you know, when I think about radical 373 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:26,240 hospitality, I can only imagine myself walking into a space, right? 374 00:21:26,279 --> 00:21:29,680 Um, and if I'm walking into your UU 375 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:33,359 space for an event that evening, maybe there's a musical 376 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,519 group that's, that's using the sanctuary 377 00:21:36,559 --> 00:21:39,839 or the chancel, um, if I walk 378 00:21:39,839 --> 00:21:43,240 in and there's a sign that says registration 379 00:21:43,279 --> 00:21:47,480 here or welcome, make a name tag, I 380 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:52,640 know that I'm going to be able to acknowledge who people are because we're all going to wear name tags. 381 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,799 Honestly, that is a part of being radically hospitable. 382 00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:00,039 If you've got signs up, that tell me where 383 00:22:00,079 --> 00:22:03,559 your restrooms are, where you're accessible restrooms are. 384 00:22:03,599 --> 00:22:05,640 That is radical hospitality. 385 00:22:05,759 --> 00:22:09,400 I will tell you, I still get overwhelmed 386 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:13,559 when I come into a space where we're serving food. 387 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,839 And there are gluten-free options, 388 00:22:16,839 --> 00:22:20,680 and there are labels that say soy free 389 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:24,440 or dairy free or no nuts, because I've 390 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,599 got many food allergies, and when you 391 00:22:27,599 --> 00:22:30,839 cannot connect and partake in that social 392 00:22:30,839 --> 00:22:33,599 activity that is bonded people. 393 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,440 It really makes you feel on the outs. 394 00:22:36,559 --> 00:22:38,559 So to have it there. 395 00:22:38,559 --> 00:22:41,359 Um, really just lights up 396 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:45,119 a person because they know and feel seen 397 00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:50,680 at that point, how when you can answer the questions, how do I? 398 00:22:50,839 --> 00:22:53,880 Before the person gets in 399 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:58,920 the building to ask, that is how we practice radical hospitality. 400 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,559 Simone? 401 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:06,359 Oh, I don't know, you know, I was thinking. 402 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,000 Couple of things come up for me. 403 00:23:09,079 --> 00:23:12,079 I was thinking, um, In Austin, 404 00:23:12,079 --> 00:23:15,720 um, and and like most, a lot of places, not 405 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:20,640 country, I think of Minneapolis, um, shares a lot of our, our issues, um, 406 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,519 We began locking our sanctuary doors. 407 00:23:23,599 --> 00:23:26,720 And our and our community room doors, um, and 408 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:30,200 a lot of the congregations, um, that we're in alliance with, 409 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:35,359 um, that do a lot of community organizing, um, made a commitment to do the same. 410 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,359 Because we knew that that there was the issues with ICE 411 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:42,119 and and, and law enforcement and privacy and that things, and 412 00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,759 so, that was an act of radical hospitality 413 00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:48,920 really have to shift everybody's emotions and, you know, 414 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:54,119 mindset about that and said, hey, we want to make sure that anytime somebody comes in this space, they know, 415 00:23:54,319 --> 00:23:56,319 know that we are protected, right? 416 00:23:56,319 --> 00:24:00,200 And what makes it, I think, radical is that it became a daily practice, right? 417 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,279 And and reminded people who might even 418 00:24:03,319 --> 00:24:08,119 come in and say, well, they looked around the room and say, well, but we don't really have to worry about that here. 419 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:13,079 And it was like, hey, one, you can't identify who is an immigrant or who's vulnerable. 420 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,200 just by looking at them, right? 421 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:19,359 And two, I always love the saying that we had it, you know, my family, my neighborhood. 422 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,440 You don't have to get ready if you stay ready, right? 423 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,519 So if this becomes a practice of like, 424 00:24:24,559 --> 00:24:26,720 we want this to be a safe space at all times. 425 00:24:26,759 --> 00:24:29,400 Then you're not worried when something happens, right? 426 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,480 Because we've already established this practice. 427 00:24:31,559 --> 00:24:33,559 And I think, you know. 428 00:24:33,559 --> 00:24:37,920 And that's a radical thing to take that kind of stance, right? 429 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,119 Because it's completely opposite of what we normally do, right? 430 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,160 Oh, the church doors are always open. 431 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:44,720 And right? 432 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,880 And so that was a radical shift to say, The 433 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,400 way to feel welcoming is to secure our doors, right? 434 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:54,240 And so I think it's, it's making that change and realizing that, um, 435 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,880 we're rising to an occasion and meeting, um, you 436 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:02,599 know, what's the phrase that we're loving to use now, we're meeting the moment, like, we are in this moment and we are in this together. 437 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:05,920 And it's, and it's why I think of like an elementary 438 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:10,279 school that wanted to have a know your rights, the PTA wanted to have a know your rights meeting. 439 00:25:10,319 --> 00:25:13,319 But they were afraid or couldn't do or weren't even allowed to do 440 00:25:13,319 --> 00:25:16,720 it at their school and the fact that they knew that we had this kind of presence, 441 00:25:16,759 --> 00:25:21,599 this kind of radical hospitality, they were able to call us and say, hey, can we have this meeting at your space? 442 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,680 Of course, right? 443 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,440 That, that's what radical hospitality can, can look and feel like. 444 00:25:26,519 --> 00:25:28,519 Oh, yeah. 445 00:25:28,519 --> 00:25:29,680 Definitely. 446 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,880 What I, what I, pick up from that, 447 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,440 I heard you say, you know, the change. 448 00:25:34,519 --> 00:25:37,640 And when I think of radical hospitality and radical 449 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:42,240 sacred space, I'm aware that, Both of them need the space, right? 450 00:25:42,319 --> 00:25:46,400 Both of them, we are called 451 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,759 to be open to change, called to be flexible 452 00:25:49,759 --> 00:25:53,000 enough for change, because if we 453 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,240 are being radical, we are being welcoming and we 454 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,880 know that we have to make space for others, 455 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:04,720 and that which is different and or the unknown, 456 00:26:04,759 --> 00:26:08,279 to be a part of what we are doing, to integrate 457 00:26:08,279 --> 00:26:12,640 with what we are doing, and change what we are doing in a sense. 458 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:16,440 When we are being welcoming and hospitable, 459 00:26:16,519 --> 00:26:19,680 Um, we are not saying, oh, come in 460 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,720 and learn our ways so it can stay the same. 461 00:26:21,799 --> 00:26:25,319 We are saying you have a 462 00:26:25,319 --> 00:26:28,440 brilliance and a gift and a spirit. 463 00:26:28,519 --> 00:26:30,519 You have something to teach. 464 00:26:30,519 --> 00:26:34,079 You have a light that we are honored to have meshed 465 00:26:34,079 --> 00:26:37,240 with ours, and we can't wait to see 466 00:26:37,279 --> 00:26:39,480 the brilliance of it when it comes together. 467 00:26:39,559 --> 00:26:45,000 Um, so there's within those spaces, I just see the space. 468 00:26:45,079 --> 00:26:48,599 I think about, uh, sacred 469 00:26:48,599 --> 00:26:52,480 spaces being, um, radical in, 470 00:26:52,519 --> 00:26:56,039 Saying amen in the middle of a service. 471 00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:59,960 Doesn't happen in a lot of UU churches. 472 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,880 Didn't happen in the churches that I grew up in. 473 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:07,319 Yet, as the adult, I feel moved sometimes to say, amen. 474 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,440 And knowing that I'm welcome to do 475 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,960 that is important and you can't tell. 476 00:27:14,039 --> 00:27:17,079 You can't tell if other people aren't doing 477 00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:20,480 it, you kind of get a feeling if you go for it. 478 00:27:20,519 --> 00:27:25,079 But if you go for it, go for it wholly and fully with the spirit. 479 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,160 Let that amen linger. 480 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,240 Because that is what calls us to 481 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:34,000 recognize, are we being welcoming and open? 482 00:27:34,079 --> 00:27:38,799 Are we really leaning into our pluralist? 483 00:27:38,839 --> 00:27:42,119 Faith and tenets of pluralism 484 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:45,519 being open to all of those spiritual religious 485 00:27:45,559 --> 00:27:48,480 experiences that bring us together. 486 00:27:48,559 --> 00:27:52,319 Um, when we have something different that 487 00:27:52,319 --> 00:27:56,039 happens, and we have that tense moment. 488 00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,920 That is the moment where we can say, oh. 489 00:27:59,039 --> 00:28:02,279 How can I be more radical here? 490 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:05,640 Dana, it makes me want to 491 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:09,039 ask you a little bit about holding sacred space for other people. 492 00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:12,119 The way you're talking makes me think about the way that I've seen you 493 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:16,440 hold particular events and energy for people and particularly for youth. 494 00:28:16,559 --> 00:28:20,200 And so I'd love to hear you speak about what it means to be the 495 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:25,519 gathering of youth and holding that space as the adult and having those people. 496 00:28:25,559 --> 00:28:27,559 Yeah. 497 00:28:27,559 --> 00:28:29,440 Yeah, and then again, before we switch topics. 498 00:28:29,519 --> 00:28:31,680 I just wanted to add this one (inaudible) . 499 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,680 I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, please. 500 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:36,440 I love, um, uh, there's, there's a show called State 501 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,799 of Grace, um, and there was a show called, um, an episode 502 00:28:39,799 --> 00:28:44,880 called What Happens if you're Transgender in the Church, and I love this parent's quote so much. 503 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,960 I use it for so many things. 504 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,960 Um, the parent's name is Jamie, Brisa Hoff. 505 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:54,119 I believe that's, um, how you pronounce their name and they're the parent 506 00:28:54,119 --> 00:28:57,240 of a trans child and they said, and we were talking about 507 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:00,720 being in church and he said, you can't say all 508 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,480 are welcome and not change anything about your community. 509 00:29:04,559 --> 00:29:08,039 You can't say all 510 00:29:08,039 --> 00:29:13,079 are welcome and not change anything about your community. 511 00:29:13,079 --> 00:29:15,640 And I really sat and that really resonated with me. 512 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:19,799 Um, yeah, that we, we can't say that all are welcome if we're not ready. 513 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:23,240 Mm, Amen. 514 00:29:23,279 --> 00:29:26,319 And one of those changes might be that you're on the outside of 515 00:29:26,359 --> 00:29:29,720 the room and not inside of it when something sacred or happens, 516 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:35,480 you have to be okay, I think being the holder and not being held sometimes. 517 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,400 Oh, yeah, definitely. 518 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,359 You know, that's a change, not centering yourself. 519 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:46,680 That's the responsibility of spiritual leadership. 520 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,880 That's the responsibility of lay 521 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,559 leadership in a spiritual community, right? 522 00:29:52,599 --> 00:29:56,799 Is that we are not always the one centered. 523 00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:01,319 We, we put ourselves aside, um, for that that greater good. 524 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,640 But with that, also comes 525 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:10,440 the responsibility of caring for yourself well enough that you can care for other people. 526 00:30:10,519 --> 00:30:13,640 Because if you are giving, giving, giving, to your community 527 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:17,759 that you love, but you are not also pausing 528 00:30:17,759 --> 00:30:22,119 and as a leader, allowing people to see and understand. 529 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,200 I'm taking a break, I'm pausing. 530 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,440 I need a rest, so I'm gonna do it. 531 00:30:26,519 --> 00:30:30,400 If you are not doing that, you're not modeling healthy leadership. 532 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,480 And the kind of leadership that 533 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,000 is supportive, the kind that we want. 534 00:30:36,079 --> 00:30:38,079 Right? 535 00:30:38,079 --> 00:30:41,240 To know that I have with someone to lean on, 536 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:46,279 that if life happens, someone can support and help or carry on. 537 00:30:46,319 --> 00:30:50,920 Um, and I want to say QuianaDenae today, that's, I learned that. 538 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,000 Um, so greatly and 539 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:57,640 get to practice it with our youth communities. 540 00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,720 Um, I've worked with our high school 541 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,480 youth communities for over 12 years now. 542 00:31:03,599 --> 00:31:05,759 Um, they keep me young. 543 00:31:05,839 --> 00:31:10,640 And um, Our, 544 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:14,720 because our youth often come from our religious education programs, 545 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:18,920 they understand covenant and the practice 546 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:23,480 of covenant in a way that adults don't, they, 547 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,640 we get to see our youth using our covenant to call each 548 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:30,400 other back in, to say, you know, ouch, oops. 549 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:33,960 If that's on our covenant or we're not, not 550 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:38,759 talking about this thing or we are going to be respectful in this way and then it doesn't happen. 551 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:42,000 Our youth are confident enough to say, 552 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,799 hey, QuianaDenae, I just want to note, we 553 00:31:46,799 --> 00:31:50,759 all agreed that we would not cross talk during check-in. 554 00:31:50,839 --> 00:31:54,319 And I just want to make sure we can honor the covenant, right? 555 00:31:54,359 --> 00:31:56,359 They are they are doing that. 556 00:31:56,359 --> 00:31:58,359 Our youth are doing that. 557 00:31:58,359 --> 00:32:00,759 When it comes to holding sacred space. 558 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:02,920 I think I'm of 2 minds here. 559 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:06,279 Uh, Youth 560 00:32:06,319 --> 00:32:10,559 worship is some of the most touching and beautiful sentimental 561 00:32:10,559 --> 00:32:14,519 things you can experience in Unitarian Universalism. 562 00:32:14,599 --> 00:32:17,640 I honestly think, uh, blue and youth 563 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:22,440 worship is where the soul of Unitarian Universalism lives. 564 00:32:22,519 --> 00:32:25,519 Um, we 565 00:32:25,519 --> 00:32:29,119 say that we want shared leadership for our youth, 566 00:32:29,119 --> 00:32:32,599 and we know we do the need to do that in healthy ways. 567 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,880 Um, often what happens is we 568 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,119 want to empower our youth so they can feel a sense 569 00:32:39,119 --> 00:32:42,480 of ownership and do the things that they want and you say, 570 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,839 okay, who's a fun adult that looks kind of young? 571 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:48,920 You lead youth group. 572 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,240 Get all the kids together, like, here's a little 573 00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,400 bit of money, feed them and and like figure it out. 574 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,880 And instead of youth empowerment, 575 00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,960 we have youth abandonment, where 576 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:03,880 we're expecting them to figure it out without the tools. 577 00:33:04,039 --> 00:33:07,079 Um, and without the community 578 00:33:07,079 --> 00:33:11,440 that they've already had, leading them in that in that direction. 579 00:33:11,519 --> 00:33:14,799 Um, I want to pass this 580 00:33:14,839 --> 00:33:18,839 over back to you and, uh, QuianaDenae, Simone. 581 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:22,680 Well, I was going to say, I said, oh, good. 582 00:33:22,759 --> 00:33:24,759 Yeah. 583 00:33:24,759 --> 00:33:25,839 Nope, I'm gonna I'm gonna head that right over to you. 584 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,920 It'll come back to me. 585 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,119 Well, I was thinking of with youth, you know, 586 00:33:30,119 --> 00:33:34,559 making that shift, it's such a hard thing with as adults, right? 587 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:39,440 To make that shift from not seeing young people as um worker bees, right? 588 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:43,200 So many people are like, oh, yeah, we're going to have the youth involved. 589 00:33:43,279 --> 00:33:45,680 They can go be the ones to be the server at that event. 590 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,720 They can help us load this truck. 591 00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:49,160 They can do that, right? 592 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:50,720 Like we see them as worker bees and that's not seeing. 593 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,720 Not use empowerment. 594 00:33:52,759 --> 00:33:54,759 That's not your leadership. 595 00:33:54,759 --> 00:33:59,519 That's not, that's not valuing them as members of your community congregation, right? 596 00:33:59,599 --> 00:34:02,599 Youth um empowerment is 597 00:34:02,599 --> 00:34:06,480 asking a youth to introduce or escort a guest speaker, right? 598 00:34:06,559 --> 00:34:08,639 Or or doing a reading. 599 00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:11,719 serving on your leadership, like being a voice 600 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,760 to say, hey, come to this leadership meeting, right? 601 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,320 Um, to have a seat at the table, right? 602 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,519 It's, it's when you have a special event and you say, 603 00:34:19,519 --> 00:34:23,000 hey, we're going to have a lunch or a private 604 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,519 lunch or dinner with the, with the guest speaker, just for 605 00:34:26,519 --> 00:34:28,679 you, no one else is allowed to come. 606 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,800 You know, me, so for the, you know, knowing that they get to, to, 607 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,920 you know, stand up a little taller and be, be really valued, 608 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,159 um, you know, and, and, and it's also thinking about, you know, 609 00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:41,400 What does radical hospitality look like for them? 610 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:45,360 I know when I've worked with young people and they were like, oh, the adults here don't even care about us. 611 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,639 And I'm like, look at the pantry. 612 00:34:47,639 --> 00:34:49,639 And they're like, what? 613 00:34:49,639 --> 00:34:50,840 I said. 614 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,800 They're takis, Oreos, cheese its. 615 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:54,880 Who are those 4 right? 616 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:56,119 There's ketchup. 617 00:34:56,119 --> 00:34:57,920 I don't even know why y'all need so much ketchup right? 618 00:34:57,960 --> 00:34:59,960 But but but we heard them, right? 619 00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:01,840 Those are the things that make them feel seen, right? 620 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:06,119 And so it's thinking about the snacks that they love or the things that they love. 621 00:35:06,199 --> 00:35:09,599 It's making sure that they had a seat at the table, a voice, that 622 00:35:09,599 --> 00:35:13,079 we don't make decisions about them and for them without involving them. 623 00:35:13,159 --> 00:35:17,239 And it's creating opportunities to nurture their leadership, right? 624 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,639 For them to be, um, to, to give speeches, 625 00:35:20,639 --> 00:35:23,800 for them to, um, to do readings for them to, you know, 626 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:27,360 what, whatever it is that you're doing, you know, but not looking at young people, 627 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:30,639 it's only, um, uh, worker bees 628 00:35:30,679 --> 00:35:34,199 or apprentices or like, okay, you can do these things that, you know, to assist 629 00:35:34,199 --> 00:35:37,840 us, but like, how do we lift up your voices and how can we let you be heard? 630 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:41,639 Ooh, friends, this is so juicy. 631 00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:43,719 We're rounding the clock. 632 00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,320 Um, I want to actually pause here. 633 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:49,519 I think we have enough juiciness that when folks go into small group, 634 00:35:49,519 --> 00:35:52,639 they'll have some stuff and we'll definitely have Q and A afterwards. 635 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:54,760 So if there's look at that. 636 00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:56,599 I was ready. 637 00:35:56,599 --> 00:36:00,159 So if there's questions that have come up, you can put them in the chat now. 638 00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:02,559 If I think I have a speech. 639 00:36:02,639 --> 00:36:04,639 I have to make sure I go to find right now. 640 00:36:04,639 --> 00:36:09,440 And there'll be space afterwards to ask questions if something bubbles up in the time away. 641 00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:12,480 Um, so here we are. 642 00:36:12,599 --> 00:36:16,920 We are going to go, um, You're going to pass it off to me, my friend. 643 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,000 I'm gonna pass it to Lauren. 644 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,599 You don't have to make that transition. 645 00:36:20,599 --> 00:36:23,760 You get to, you get to let it go because 646 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,039 you did this beautiful facilitation of this time. 647 00:36:26,119 --> 00:36:29,360 with our guests, and I know that things have 648 00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:32,400 sparked for those of us who are listening, they sure have for me. 649 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,519 And that's why we build in the breakout group time just now 650 00:36:35,519 --> 00:36:40,599 so that you have a chance to talk about some of what's come up for you during this listening time. 651 00:36:40,679 --> 00:36:43,800 So we're going to be heading back into the breakout groups again 652 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:47,320 now, the ones you are in before with some minor adjustments to 653 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,880 incorporate folks who joined a little later, and we'll be in those 654 00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:54,159 breakout groups until 40 minutes after the hour. 655 00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:57,599 So, you will have at least 15 minutes for 656 00:36:57,599 --> 00:37:00,000 this conversation, maybe a little bit more. 657 00:37:00,079 --> 00:37:04,559 And you'll find the prompts in the chat. 658 00:37:04,679 --> 00:37:08,199 So you'll start off your conversation. 659 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:11,519 By going around and inviting each 660 00:37:11,519 --> 00:37:14,920 person to respond, um, sharing what 661 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:18,800 was a moment in the presentation where you had a question, and 662 00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:22,159 aha, or a feeling of sparkiness. 663 00:37:22,199 --> 00:37:25,480 And then after that, you can open it up to discussion. 664 00:37:25,559 --> 00:37:28,800 And I'll remind you of the group norms that we suggested 665 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,199 at the beginning of our time. 666 00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:35,360 These are unfacilitated spaces, but you are all congregational leaders. 667 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,039 So I invite you to have half of that hat on. 668 00:37:39,119 --> 00:37:41,679 And also to receive in this space. 669 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,000 But to be thoughtful about how you're sharing 670 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,159 the time and sharing with one another. 671 00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:50,360 Um, what you share out and how you process 672 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:54,599 this experience is part of the learning and growth for that, 673 00:37:54,599 --> 00:37:56,679 um, enriches these conversations. 674 00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:59,880 And then for those last 5 minutes 675 00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:03,360 before we come back, if you would steer the 676 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,599 conversation around to, what are some questions that we can 677 00:38:06,599 --> 00:38:09,760 bring back to the Q and A after the breakout group, even 678 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:13,760 just one good juicy question, um, would be a 679 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:17,639 rich thing to offer up for that Q and A time after the breakout group. 680 00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:22,639 So again, we'll be in those breakout groups until 40 minutes after the hour. 681 00:38:22,679 --> 00:38:26,639 And I'll ask for you to open the breakout rooms now for us again, please. 682 00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:31,960 Friends, I'm so glad that you're back and you're with us. 683 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:35,280 Feel free to put any of your questions in the chat. 684 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,360 Before heading out, 685 00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:41,199 I did get a question in the chat and a private message that I wanted to lead off with. 686 00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:44,360 And that question is, for our small 687 00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:48,719 congregational leaders, for small congregations under 100-ish. 688 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:52,440 What are some of the unique aspects of small congregations 689 00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:56,559 that we can lean into to create sacred space in our midst? 690 00:38:56,599 --> 00:38:59,639 So I would love to turn that over to Simone or 691 00:38:59,679 --> 00:39:03,280 Dana as they feel moved to speak about how this, this, 692 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,639 these concepts are applicable even in, um, congregations of all sizes. 693 00:39:06,679 --> 00:39:10,880 Like, ooh, ooh, I could do that. 694 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,000 Um, you know, so 695 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,000 Wildflower is a congregation of less than 100 people. 696 00:39:17,079 --> 00:39:20,360 And so I came in to do 2 years of development work with them. 697 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:23,920 Um, And you know, when we talk about sacred, 698 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:27,519 I think of, uh, A lot of little things. 699 00:39:27,519 --> 00:39:32,480 So I, I can go back to the, the, the personal that I talked about, um, Jasa, right? 700 00:39:32,559 --> 00:39:35,559 And I think about the leader who who opened up 701 00:39:35,559 --> 00:39:38,599 her home and in her dining room table for us to gather, right? 702 00:39:38,679 --> 00:39:40,679 To create this space, right? 703 00:39:40,679 --> 00:39:43,360 That little thing of like, I'm going to open up my table. 704 00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:46,440 I open up my home, and let you all come and 705 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:51,679 meet here every other week, um, you know, 12 to 15 people to meet on a regular basis. 706 00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:55,800 When I think of Wildflower, I think of, creating 707 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,400 other little spaces that are that are sacred, right? 708 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:02,199 I think, and that's the thing with small congregations, we all get to know each other. 709 00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:05,639 And so things like installing, uh, we installed 710 00:40:05,679 --> 00:40:08,840 a small community altar in our community room and where 711 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:12,199 people could leave prayers and wishes and, and, 712 00:40:12,199 --> 00:40:14,519 you know, their, their joys and their, their concerns and sorrows. 713 00:40:14,679 --> 00:40:16,679 And then we would activate it, right? 714 00:40:16,679 --> 00:40:20,719 We let people use it anytime, but then things like when we had the pet blessing. 715 00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:24,159 And we acknowledged, um, dogs 716 00:40:24,159 --> 00:40:29,679 and cats and other pets, the animals that had crossed the rainbow bridge and wrote them on little pieces of paper. 717 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,840 Then we put those little pieces of paper in the community room altar, right? 718 00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:36,559 And we can all, and we all, then we all know those, those animals, right? 719 00:40:36,639 --> 00:40:40,239 Um, I think of the garden, the community garden, right? 720 00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,880 Community garden, 10 to 15 people, um, 721 00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:48,920 working together and and and working on their own plots and then calling each other to say, I'm going to be out of town. 722 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,000 Can somebody water my zucchini? 723 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,599 Yes, of course, right? 724 00:40:52,599 --> 00:40:55,280 And that creates all these beautiful um, shared moments. 725 00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:59,480 Um, you know, we all rage together about the squirrels that are eating the figs, right? 726 00:40:59,559 --> 00:41:01,559 Kind of thing. 727 00:41:01,559 --> 00:41:03,599 But I think that they, and another one 728 00:41:03,639 --> 00:41:07,840 I think of, um, that Wildflower was, um, the wildflower band. 729 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:12,119 When I came to wildflower, they originally had a choir, right? 730 00:41:12,199 --> 00:41:16,199 Trying to follow the the traditional large church model, right? 731 00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,360 And it was always a struggle. 732 00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,599 Um, because you got to have all the parts to get a hold of the things. 733 00:41:20,599 --> 00:41:24,119 And then we shifted organically one time, we, we had, 734 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,400 I can't remember what song it was. 735 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,280 I think it was the solstice and we were singing, Here Comes the Sun. 736 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:32,000 We had a band and they were like, we really like jamming with each other. 737 00:41:32,079 --> 00:41:34,079 And so they started to do that. 738 00:41:34,079 --> 00:41:37,079 But then, you know, originally they used to want to play 739 00:41:37,119 --> 00:41:42,079 something different every single week, you know, and I remembered, um, 740 00:41:42,079 --> 00:41:46,199 what a couple of UU ministers, (undistinguished) 741 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,400 You know, right? 742 00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,920 And so I didn't see like. 743 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:56,000 What can it do to be, you know, there's 744 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,159 something, there's some void that can be found in repetition. 745 00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:02,079 And so I was like, why don't we have the band pick 1 or 2 songs? 746 00:42:02,119 --> 00:42:04,679 And they're going to repeat that every single week. 747 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:06,840 For the entire month. 748 00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,880 Every Sunday, it's going to be the same opening hymn, the same closing hymn. 749 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:14,360 And the story that comes up the most, because there were people who were resistant against that. 750 00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,000 They were like, oh, that just feels to this or to that. 751 00:42:17,079 --> 00:42:19,480 And I was like, trust, trust the process, you know? 752 00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,280 For um, pride month. 753 00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:25,400 We had a, um, we invited some drag queens 754 00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:28,320 to come perform, uh, for the sermon, right? 755 00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,400 And I was, I remember, keep in mind. 756 00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:32,920 I live in Texas and this is where, um, at one point 757 00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:37,159 I think it might even be again, um, performing as a drag queen is against the law, right? 758 00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:40,360 So we were like, we found way to create space, right? 759 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,400 And that was a beautiful sacred space. 760 00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:46,639 And so, of course, we sang, uh, the band sang Lady Gaga's Born This Way, right? 761 00:42:46,679 --> 00:42:48,679 Oh, it was great and it was festive. 762 00:42:48,679 --> 00:42:50,719 And then they were like, all right, we're going to do it again. 763 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:56,119 But later in the month, we had a, for the Solstice, we had a, um, sound bath. 764 00:42:56,199 --> 00:42:58,199 Right? 765 00:42:58,199 --> 00:43:00,280 And so the lay leaders, because again, small church, right? 766 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,360 All the volunteers doing all things were like, ah, so you got to pick another 767 00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:07,239 song and get it, because you can't do Lady Gaga's, you know, Born This Way 768 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,280 just too upbeat, you know. 769 00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:10,559 It's the Solstice. 770 00:43:10,559 --> 00:43:12,039 It's calm. 771 00:43:12,039 --> 00:43:13,280 And the music director and I were like, no. 772 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,159 We said we're going to do one thing and that's it. 773 00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:18,239 And they were resistant. 774 00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,199 But the band sang, 775 00:43:21,199 --> 00:43:24,599 Born This Way, in a slowed down, poignant 776 00:43:24,639 --> 00:43:28,039 way, that almost brought everybody to tears, right? 777 00:43:28,119 --> 00:43:30,119 It was just, you know, this beautiful. 778 00:43:30,119 --> 00:43:32,119 Way to reimagine things. 779 00:43:32,199 --> 00:43:34,840 And then the lesson was learned. 780 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:38,519 They were like, you know, when you know something, when you've repeated it regularly. 781 00:43:38,599 --> 00:43:41,639 And, you know, You can be flexible, 782 00:43:41,679 --> 00:43:44,840 you can be creative, you can do things because we know it in our bones, right? 783 00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:48,079 And we continue that pattern throughout the years. 784 00:43:48,159 --> 00:43:52,360 And then suddenly everybody was like, you know, before the 785 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,239 band or the choir singing was like performance, right? 786 00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:57,280 Okay, we sit there and watch this thing. 787 00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,119 But when you repeat the same songs. 788 00:43:59,199 --> 00:44:01,840 Suddenly all of us know it. 789 00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:03,880 We've heard it before. 790 00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:07,880 You know, we can jump in and sing with the band or we can sing. 791 00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:12,039 And then the band started to notice, oh my gosh, the 1st week we do it, you know, it's great. 792 00:44:12,079 --> 00:44:15,599 By the 3rd or 4th week, the whole congregation 793 00:44:15,639 --> 00:44:18,320 is singing and it changes, right? 794 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:21,400 And then when and talking about radical hospitality, 795 00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:25,480 radical welcome, when you visit and come into a church and everybody 796 00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:28,280 is singing along, right? 797 00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,360 It changes things. 798 00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:34,239 And so, you know, I encourage you for those of you who are in small congregations. 799 00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:38,000 You know, don't be afraid to do a little bit of a less is more. 800 00:44:38,079 --> 00:44:41,199 And allow that to go deeper, allow it to, 801 00:44:41,199 --> 00:44:46,360 you know, and in this beautiful and poignant way and and use the resources that you have, right? 802 00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,559 We didn't need a formal choir. 803 00:44:48,639 --> 00:44:51,079 We had a band, an eclectic band, right? 804 00:44:51,199 --> 00:44:54,719 We didn't need a big formal program for some things. 805 00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:59,239 We have 8 garden plots that we work together on, right? 806 00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:02,320 Um, you know, find these little ways that you 807 00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,800 can, um, can kind of shift and hold space and not 808 00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:09,039 burn each other out and also, you know, by 809 00:45:09,039 --> 00:45:13,360 doing that repetition, I just use that, like again, that song as an example, right? 810 00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,400 If somebody's absent, right? 811 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:20,280 There's no panic because it's okay. 812 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,360 We all know the song. 813 00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:24,119 We can all jump in, right? 814 00:45:24,119 --> 00:45:25,559 And so in smaller congregations. 815 00:45:25,559 --> 00:45:29,440 You know, the weight of what we carry feels really heavy, right? 816 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:31,480 Because there isn't a huge staff. 817 00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:33,039 There isn't a huge lot of people to carry in. 818 00:45:33,039 --> 00:45:36,480 So yeah, I think, you know, enjoy the repetition, the beauty of repetition. 819 00:45:36,559 --> 00:45:38,639 Hmm. 820 00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:42,559 So thank you so, so, so much for so many things. 821 00:45:42,639 --> 00:45:45,760 But I'm going to read the 4 questions that are in the 822 00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:49,480 chat, kind of in a stack format and let the 2 of you decide or 823 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:52,159 kind of mumble it through, but I'm going to read the 4 questions. 824 00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:55,639 Reconciling the group question, reconciling 825 00:45:55,639 --> 00:45:57,920 radical hospitality and physical safety. 826 00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,280 Please define sacred and space, 827 00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,400 so in the context of UU group meetings, what does that mean? 828 00:46:04,519 --> 00:46:07,760 How do we keep our congregation safe 829 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:10,320 and still provide radical hospitality? 830 00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:13,400 And the last one is, what do, 831 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:18,480 what to do when there's resistance, if change is necessary in order to do more? 832 00:46:18,639 --> 00:46:21,760 I'm sorry, in order to 833 00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:24,079 be more welcoming and more hospitable? 834 00:46:24,159 --> 00:46:27,199 And I'll let both of you kind of feed into that and we have about, 835 00:46:27,199 --> 00:46:31,280 6 or 7 minutes, so I just want to be mindful of time as well. 836 00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:36,119 Um, I'll say there 837 00:46:36,119 --> 00:46:39,000 are 2 things that really do stick out for me. 838 00:46:39,079 --> 00:46:42,679 Um, is understanding, 839 00:46:42,679 --> 00:46:46,440 I think, radical hospitality and what that means. 840 00:46:46,519 --> 00:46:49,559 And it doesn't mean flipping a switch and flipping 841 00:46:49,559 --> 00:46:55,000 your whole plan over, inviting like 80 new people into your congregation. 842 00:46:55,079 --> 00:46:58,320 It means having a responsible 843 00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,880 structure and response team. 844 00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:04,199 It means knowing what your capacity 845 00:47:04,199 --> 00:47:06,280 and capabilities are as a community. 846 00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:08,360 Right? 847 00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:10,599 So, um, if you have a rapid response team and 848 00:47:10,599 --> 00:47:14,960 maybe temperatures are dipping below 20 degrees that night, you 849 00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:19,079 is your congregation one that can house, 850 00:47:19,079 --> 00:47:22,440 um, unhoused people for the evenings, right? 851 00:47:22,519 --> 00:47:27,079 That means knowing that you have a contingency plan. 852 00:47:27,119 --> 00:47:30,400 You've had these conversations with your, your building 853 00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:34,400 and grounds, people and your safety task forces, right? 854 00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:37,480 It's the willingness to 855 00:47:37,519 --> 00:47:40,280 go beyond what we've already been doing. 856 00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:43,559 Maybe you've never held a, 857 00:47:43,559 --> 00:47:45,719 a food pantry at your congregation. 858 00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:48,280 Uh, but you do have the space there. 859 00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:51,719 Radical hospitality is 860 00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:56,519 also saying, hey, let's get together and figure this out so that we can. 861 00:47:56,599 --> 00:47:59,760 Um, physical 862 00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:01,800 safety is always an aspect of that. 863 00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:06,719 No one is asking you to open your doors to strangers 20, 24 hours a day. 864 00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:10,920 And then I'll go over to um, sacred and sacred space. 865 00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:14,239 I want to acknowledge that sacred in 866 00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:18,840 its definition of like being of God or like of the divine. 867 00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:22,800 I think in a UU context, we have to ask ourselves, 868 00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:26,039 Um, what is the of, 869 00:48:26,039 --> 00:48:30,119 what is worthy of our attention and our devotion, 870 00:48:30,119 --> 00:48:32,880 as the denomination, we have said. 871 00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:36,400 Centering love is extremely 872 00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:40,199 important and these 6 values, justice, 873 00:48:40,199 --> 00:48:47,440 equity, pluralism, interconnect, these 6 values are worthy of our attention at all times. 874 00:48:47,519 --> 00:48:50,519 So, if the sacred, 875 00:48:50,519 --> 00:48:53,880 if sacred means to embody the divine, 876 00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:57,000 to embody that kind of piece of, of God or 877 00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:00,239 the world, then sacred for you, use is 878 00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:04,679 embodying and bringing a heart and the spirit of justice, 879 00:49:04,679 --> 00:49:09,239 of equity, of generosity, all of the values that we say. 880 00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:13,159 And when we bring those into a space, then 881 00:49:13,159 --> 00:49:15,360 we create the sacred together. 882 00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:20,719 Then we presence the sacred together in whatever space we are in. 883 00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:24,039 Carl, I really appreciate that question, 884 00:49:24,079 --> 00:49:28,519 and I hope, I hope my, that answer lands for you. 885 00:49:28,559 --> 00:49:33,719 In 886 00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:37,000 sort of the other two, um, uh, together, how do we keep our 887 00:49:37,039 --> 00:49:40,639 congregation state and still provide radical hospitality and 888 00:49:40,639 --> 00:49:45,719 what to do when there is resistance of changes necessary in order to be more welcoming and more hospitable? 889 00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:50,039 Um, I think what comes up for me is communication. 890 00:49:50,119 --> 00:49:53,239 Education and checking in, right? 891 00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:57,639 Um, when I think of like locking the doors, for example, right? 892 00:49:57,679 --> 00:50:01,320 If that's one thing that you have to do, um, I think that's a very easy, 893 00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:04,599 you know, understandable, um, thing to understand, um, 894 00:50:04,679 --> 00:50:07,199 It's communication, right? 895 00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:10,320 It's really, it's making sure at the beginning of services, you 896 00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:14,519 know, in both in your, if you do printed or online um order of service. 897 00:50:14,599 --> 00:50:16,599 Um, but also during your welcome. 898 00:50:16,639 --> 00:50:18,639 Hey friends, 899 00:50:18,639 --> 00:50:20,760 Um, welcome if this is your 1st time here or if you haven't been 900 00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:25,920 here this Sunday, you might notice that things are a little bit differently today and the reason why we're doing this is this. 901 00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,000 This is a way that we're keeping safe, right? 902 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,960 So now I may, maybe I might have come in feeling like, what is this? 903 00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:33,119 Oh, okay, right. 904 00:50:33,199 --> 00:50:35,360 So that that, that, that communication, right? 905 00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:37,400 In education. 906 00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:38,960 Why do we even have to do that, right? 907 00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:41,960 Oh, well, let's, let's, let, let's explain, 908 00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:45,239 you know, maybe having a, uh, uh, in Austin, we have a, 909 00:50:45,239 --> 00:50:49,360 an interfaith gathering, um, of different congregations and there's some lawyers. 910 00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:54,480 Um, there's some clergy who are lawyers who would come and say, hey, let's explain to you why. 911 00:50:54,559 --> 00:50:57,679 Um, if the, if the door says private, 912 00:50:57,679 --> 00:51:00,719 if the private space, um, you will have to have a warrant 913 00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:03,280 to come in, but if it's public space, anybody can come in. 914 00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:06,360 And so, we want to keep our, our congregation 915 00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:09,760 in our place as a private space so that we get to decide who 916 00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:12,079 we open the door to and to keep people safe, right? 917 00:51:12,119 --> 00:51:17,039 So that education of like, oh, now I understand why and I didn't know that little, right? 918 00:51:17,119 --> 00:51:20,119 So now it's not just like, I see you putting up signs that say private or 919 00:51:20,119 --> 00:51:23,960 whatever, but I'm understanding that and I can also share that with others, right? 920 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,000 Who then can begin to understand that. 921 00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,360 And then I don't feel, um, left out. 922 00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:31,679 I don't feel like I don't, there's no misunderstanding or miscommunication. 923 00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:34,760 And then I think when it comes to, 924 00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:36,800 um, change, right? 925 00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:39,840 Because even that, and there's lots of different change, you know, the way that 926 00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:43,079 the band, the way that we did, we did the music, the way that we did things, 927 00:51:43,079 --> 00:51:45,840 um, you might, you know, change the light bulbs. 928 00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:49,320 We know in a church, like anything we change can be some resistant, right? 929 00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:51,400 Um, 930 00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:54,840 But again, going back to that, um, whatever that example of locking the doors, whatever. 931 00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:56,920 Or whatever the changes. 932 00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:58,840 I think it's checking in, right? 933 00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:01,320 So it's that communication, it's that education, and then it's saying, hey. 934 00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:04,000 Can you trust the process just a little bit? 935 00:52:04,159 --> 00:52:06,159 Can we try this this way? 936 00:52:06,159 --> 00:52:07,239 Can you trust your leadership? 937 00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:10,079 And then, check, can we check back? 938 00:52:10,159 --> 00:52:13,199 I want to touch basis with you in another in another couple of weeks 939 00:52:13,199 --> 00:52:16,920 or a month or whatever that time is or let's keep checking in about this, right? 940 00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:21,559 And be open that maybe the way that the change that you acts didn't work, right? 941 00:52:21,599 --> 00:52:23,760 And be willing to change and change again. 942 00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:27,679 But when I, you know, using that example with the band, right? 943 00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:29,719 That I talked about. 944 00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:30,559 They were resistant, right? 945 00:52:30,559 --> 00:52:34,039 And they were like, and then I, well, like, hey, 946 00:52:34,039 --> 00:52:38,519 actually, We do like this. 947 00:52:38,599 --> 00:52:41,599 You know, I didn't, I didn't, concerned about this, but now 948 00:52:41,599 --> 00:52:44,000 I think this does work, why I see that, why it does. 949 00:52:44,039 --> 00:52:47,079 But and again, that 2 way communication 950 00:52:47,119 --> 00:52:50,760 because maybe, you know, be open to sometimes you might have to change a 951 00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:54,639 little bit differently or pause that change to meet the needs for everybody, right? 952 00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:59,519 So just 2 way communication, education and um, and checking in. 953 00:52:59,599 --> 00:53:02,599 Friends, I want to thank 954 00:53:02,599 --> 00:53:07,320 you so, so, so much for this, um, beautiful, beautiful conversation. 955 00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:10,639 I'm going to turn it over to our friend, Lauren, to start the, 956 00:53:10,639 --> 00:53:13,679 start us our, on our descent, if you will, if we were on an airplane. 957 00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,760 I love that. 958 00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:18,960 I love that, QuianaDenae. 959 00:53:19,039 --> 00:53:23,880 Ah, so much of what I've heard tonight is really resonating with me and will stay with me. 960 00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:25,960 I'll be thinking about it. 961 00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:28,079 I also want to thank you, Simone and Dana, so much 962 00:53:28,079 --> 00:53:31,599 for agreeing to be our guest and sharing your 963 00:53:31,639 --> 00:53:34,920 insights with us, your wisdom and your experiences with us. 964 00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:38,039 I want to, um, take a moment to thank Ritoo again 965 00:53:38,039 --> 00:53:41,559 for being our tech host this evening and, 966 00:53:41,599 --> 00:53:46,320 um, shout out to you, QuianaDanae, for being the co-conspirator 967 00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:48,840 with, um, me behind this program. 968 00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:52,039 Ah, I want to remind you all that if 969 00:53:52,039 --> 00:53:55,559 you're looking for the video of tonight's program, 970 00:53:55,559 --> 00:53:59,679 you'll find it posted on our website in a week or 2 at the 971 00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:02,519 link that Ritoo will put in the chat for you. 972 00:54:02,599 --> 00:54:07,159 And you can find our recordings from all our prior months there. 973 00:54:07,199 --> 00:54:10,440 There are 8 others already posted and 974 00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:13,920 lots of good richness to be mined from them. 975 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:17,119 Next month, our 976 00:54:17,119 --> 00:54:20,159 program falls on Tuesday, April 28th. 977 00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:23,400 And our guest will be from 2 congregations 978 00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:27,360 that have developed innovative ways of gathering, offering 979 00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:31,199 alternative forms of worship, and creative programming 980 00:54:31,199 --> 00:54:35,800 and direct response to the deepest spiritual needs of their communities. 981 00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:38,880 We're going to be welcoming Kelly Greene and 982 00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:44,199 Paula Gribble from the United, from the Unitarian Universalist community of Charlotte, North Carolina. 983 00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:47,400 And the Reverends Christina and Hannah from 984 00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:50,519 the Fox Valley UU Fellowship of Appleton Wisconsin. 985 00:54:50,599 --> 00:54:53,599 And we'll explore how they are answering the call 986 00:54:53,599 --> 00:54:56,960 for ministry that meets this moment and invite you into 987 00:54:56,960 --> 00:55:01,400 conversation about what's emerging in your congregation and how you're called to respond. 988 00:55:01,519 --> 00:55:04,639 Can I chime in right here, Lauren, 989 00:55:04,639 --> 00:55:08,159 just to say if you have come into the space around Smalls month, 990 00:55:08,159 --> 00:55:11,559 I hope that you have had a really full month, those conversations 991 00:55:11,599 --> 00:55:15,079 will show up on the website and our, you know, your primary, 992 00:55:15,079 --> 00:55:18,360 we'll make sure you can access them, but I want to thank you all for taking the time 993 00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:21,519 to be a part of these conversations and to 994 00:55:21,559 --> 00:55:26,239 let us hold you sacredly as small congregations and your uniqueness 995 00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:30,360 and your differences, but also hold you up and say we're proud of you. 996 00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:33,800 We're proud of the work that you do for our Unitarian Universals Association, 997 00:55:33,840 --> 00:55:37,480 and the way that you represent us in all of the ways big and small. 998 00:55:37,559 --> 00:55:40,559 So I just want to acknowledge the smalls that are here, and thank you for 999 00:55:40,559 --> 00:55:43,320 your contributions to our association. 1000 00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:45,559 Yes, amen, amen. 1001 00:55:45,599 --> 00:55:48,880 Some of the most beautiful examples of sacred 1002 00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:52,159 community that I've encountered in Unitarian Universalism are in 1003 00:55:52,159 --> 00:55:55,679 small congregations, where everybody knows they need everybody, 1004 00:55:55,679 --> 00:55:59,920 and everybody is there for everybody, and that is, 1005 00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:03,320 that is a thing that's harder to, um, 1006 00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:06,679 forget maybe when you're in a smaller congregation, and you know the names of 1007 00:56:06,679 --> 00:56:10,280 more of the people that share that, that space and that ministry with you. 1008 00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:12,400 Mm-hmm. 1009 00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:15,360 So, 1010 00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:18,960 um, as Simone was pointing out earlier, one of the ways that 1011 00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:22,199 we try out new things and um, have courage 1012 00:56:22,199 --> 00:56:27,280 to do that with one another is that we keep those lines of feedback and communication open. 1013 00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:31,920 So we're going to paste now a link to the feedback form that we share each month. 1014 00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:35,039 In the chat and thank you for 1015 00:56:35,039 --> 00:56:38,559 filling it out, taking a few minutes now to give us your feedback on this program. 1016 00:56:38,639 --> 00:56:43,599 We review that carefully and we're constantly adjusting our model to best meet your needs. 1017 00:56:43,679 --> 00:56:48,119 So just take a moment now, if you will, to open that link. 1018 00:56:48,199 --> 00:56:51,679 That Ritoo shared, and um, 1019 00:56:51,679 --> 00:56:54,239 Get a start on that form. 1020 00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:57,480 And also, 1021 00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:00,880 if you'd like, as we close, we invite 1022 00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:05,239 you, um, to type a learning, a gratitude or a wondering into the chat. 1023 00:57:05,280 --> 00:57:09,760 So that others can learn how you've been impacted by this program. 1024 00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:14,679 It can be useful to notice how what we do 1025 00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:17,079 hits different of us differently. 1026 00:57:17,159 --> 00:57:21,960 And sometimes what somebody else lists in the chat sparks for me. 1027 00:57:22,039 --> 00:57:24,039 I'm like, oh yeah, that was a thing. 1028 00:57:24,039 --> 00:57:25,639 I almost forgot. 1029 00:57:25,639 --> 00:57:26,480 I'm so glad somebody put it in there. 1030 00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:27,920 So if there's something. 1031 00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:29,880 You want to lift up that you heard, please, 1032 00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:32,039 feel free to share it there too. 1033 00:57:32,119 --> 00:57:35,119 And I just 1034 00:57:35,119 --> 00:57:38,360 want to, one more time, say how grateful we are for your presence for 1035 00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:40,639 your leadership in Unitarian Universalism. 1036 00:57:40,679 --> 00:57:44,440 May the blessing you are to your congregation, 1037 00:57:44,599 --> 00:57:47,599 um, reflect its light and love back 1038 00:57:47,599 --> 00:57:49,880 into your own life and give you courage, 1039 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:54,599 and purpose, and the assurance that there is a place for you too. 1040 00:57:54,679 --> 00:57:58,440 In the family of all living things on this beautiful planet. 1041 00:57:58,519 --> 00:58:00,519 We're grateful for you. 1042 00:58:00,519 --> 00:58:02,480 It's good to journey together. 1043 00:58:02,519 --> 00:58:04,800 We hope to see you here again next month. 1044 00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:07,760 Good night.