hey uh Sue Steve this is my friend NYX I
was telling you about Fair the other day
oh
I'm Susan pronouns are cheaper I'm Steve
I'm he him of his
awesome uh I'm NYX and my pronouns are
pay Fair
oh
yes those are her unusual pronouns what
do they mean
I mean they're just pronouns Susan yeah
but but like for what gender oh NYX is
non-binary like non-binary girl or
non-binary boy like non-binary
well Nick you are very welcome here okay
I mean because those porn ads are just
gonna be um a little bit of a bother
I'll I'll do my best but you know these
all brains rights teeth they don't learn
so well
oh goodness that's even more different
difficult I mean when I was in school
they them was always plural never
singular I mean you understand it's just
really hard for me to change now so
right I don't think this is the group
for me I'm gonna get going you know let
me give you a ride okay nice to meet you
well that was
interesting yeah
um this is you know one of the ways in
which you can chase away somebody who
might be really eager to join in
something that you're doing and
now doesn't feel safe or welcomed and
the community
yeah and
as someone who uses you know pronouns
myself
I get it it's hard it can be hard and
especially because
I don't have a common Nia pronoun I
found one kind of through a joke that
made me feel whole you know I use soup
soups and soup self as my pronouns and
it really makes me feel
cold when people use those pronouns for
me but I get it like
it's not something people are
particularly used to yeah I mean I live
with you and I forget half the time
right you know it's just it's hard to
remember these things and you know you
say you don't have a common Neo pronoun
but common means like 0.001 of people
use it you know what I mean like right
knee Nicks Nim like
a.m
yeah these these are very very rare but
when they're used they really help
validate that like yes I see you I see
your identity I understand one of the
things that's kept me as a day then
rather than going fully to full time to
a he him is that when I see people
trying to use they them it makes me feel
validated in a way that you know I don't
know if people know that I'm a he him or
are guessing that I may eat him because
of the beard or what you know it's
it's harder to use they them or Neo
pronoun but the effort makes it feel
that much more worth it
yeah and honestly
right I have written a book about a
character that uses
pronouns and now you know it's much
easier for me to think of nem as a knee
or a nem then it is it was when I
started writing the book because I've
gotten so much practice with it and I'm
still not great at it but you know I've
gotten a lot of practice right and
you know no one's gonna jump down your
throat it might be make a mistake right
you know my therapist always uses they
never them even with them is appropriate
so they'll be like oh what you when you
were talking today what did you say and
I'm like
bless your heart you're trying she's
trying and that's the important thing
and like you know I keep going to this
therapist right because she's trying and
because she gives me something I need so
right and honestly
pronouns are hard pronouns are hard
getting
you're bringing around
the idea that not everyone fits into the
two nice neat little boxes that we were
taught in school
it's an adjustment but it's a necessary
one to make people
feel safe and loved and cared for and
most importantly it's not my fault that
you struggle with my pronouns well yeah
that's the biggest one right it's not
you don't need to you know preemptively
we've talked about preemptive apologies
and so forth but like you don't need to
make it my problem
if you you know just do your best and if
you mess up apologize just like anything
else with trans people you know it's
it's really that easy do your best and
apologize if you mess up I feel like
that's kind of like the guiding star of
my life right now yeah
and you know just keep trying
you just want to make sure that people
feel like they're welcome even though
they present an extra challenge because
you don't want to make people feel like
they're an extra burden
because they have this extra challenge
attached to them
some of us just go through you know life
on hard mode yeah
and you know everybody who's chosen the
neopronoun has chosen neopronaut after
lots of thinking and lots of exploring
other options and that's what makes them
feel whole so you know it's not going to
go away just because you point out that
it's difficult you know right whether
it's
well there's someone's pronoun is they
he she Fey Fair Caesar ninim soup or it
that is
how they feel and we need to respect
that
and do our absolute best yeah like I
have had I I have a lot of feelings
around the use of it as a pronoun to
refer to human beings because it's so it
can be used in a very dehumanizing way
but I know people that want to be
referred to as it and it makes them feel
empowered and important and special
so I call it an it
because it has told me that that is what
it wants to be called and I would never
assume that about anybody and it still
makes me uncomfortable every time but my
discomfort is not worth making it
uncomfortable just because it has a
special pronoun
so why don't we go ahead and take a look
and see
oh Steve this is my friend NYX oh hey
hi I'm Susan my uh pronouns cheater
I'm Steve my pronouns is he him with his
I'm Nick so my pronouns are fair oh yeah
wow those are unusual pronouns
elves for me oh I got you um so this is
my friend NYX Faye tells really good
stories and fair sense of humor is
excellent and Faye likes to tell Fair
jokes at comedy night so it's a lot like
they them right yeah Buffet instead
exactly I will do my best thanks for
sharing that with me Nyx
um okay we are on chapter three page 45
oh and Nick was thinking about joining
the church so I wanted to show Fair
around after book club
wonderful well do they want I mean does
she
okay okay sorry just fade duvet does do
does is fine okay
do you even want a tour that would be
awesome okay great excellent we will
give a tour after book club and you're
all caught up right so we're yeah we're
rolling four now one question four I
think yeah yes great