why our belief matters if you run with
yourself conscience yeah that one's done
cool
do you hear about Samantha yeah
never heard but she used to be called
Richard
I hope she's so pretty
um did she give you permission to share
that what well no I just don't know if
she'd like being talked about behind her
back like this oh lighten up folks it's
just gossip yeah I mean there's no word
to talking about Steve's cousin's new
baby I mean I thought being trans was a
good thing anyway I mean it is it's just
um she should be able to consent to who
knows about her transition and her dead
name
damn lame what is it that name
um what what she used to be called
are so dramatic dead name
now now you need to respect your culture
you're right I suppose you're right
you're right sorry
you know what I'm gonna go to the
restroom
we'll start when you're back
okay
okay
for Samantha yeah
there's
oof
so we need to talk about consent right
um
outing someone without their consent
not only is extremely rude
but it's also really really dangerous
yeah I was gonna say unsafe it's not you
could by outing somebody to the wrong
person or you know you tell someone and
they tell someone and they tell someone
and next thing you know somebody's
getting beat up in the parking lot
because somebody who got told who wasn't
supposed to know
right and or get kicked out of their
house if it's if there's somewhere that
they live with that wasn't supposed to
know you you buy by outing someone
without their consent
by owing Samantha without her consent
you are putting her life in danger she
could lose her housing lose her job
lose her kids
it's her life
I would love to live in a world where
it's no big deal and it's just a fact
like you know Samantha used to do
gymnastics in college right but it's not
a neutral fact it's a really dangerous
thing and you need to treat it with care
and compassion you also mean to be very
careful with who you share that
information with because
you know
you may be best friends with somebody
and think that they're really cool
but
they might be cool about everything but
trans people right or
you know
they might have had a crash on Samantha
and then suddenly you're telling them
that Savannah is a trans woman
and some people don't handle that well
people handle that really poorly yeah
there's a whole like line of defense in
the court of well I was surprised that
she was trans and so I beat the out
of her yeah it doesn't make any sense
but the courts are accepting it because
I don't know the courts are transphobic
48 states have transplant a clause yeah
which means if somebody tells you that
they're transgender and you murder them
you can just say oh I panicked
which makes sharing information without
consent
life-threatening
so if you stumble across the information
that somebody's trans
talk to them about it have a
conversation with them
see if they're out and open about being
trans if that's something you don't care
being shared
because people have lots of different
levels of outness you know you can be
like me completely out and open about it
with everyone right you can be out only
to close friends and family
um my wife for a long time was out to
everybody but her parents
um or you or you can
be completely under the radar living
your life as
who you are without telling people yeah
they call that stealth yep
um and it's you know
honestly like a lot of people would like
a world where everybody's kind of
stealth because nobody goes around
asking about people's business like that
but then other people would like a world
where everybody can be out because it's
not it's just a neutral thing like
having a different hair color there's a
lot of different ideal worlds out there
and we're not anywhere close to any of
them no so for right now the best you
can do
is only talk about someone's gender and
pronouns with consent and and treat the
subject with care
um you know I think they they were
making fun of the term dead name but
like I don't know sometimes our humor is
all we got can he give it to us you know
yeah like it's cute it's funny but it's
not like let's make fun of it funny you
know
yeah and remember
you don't ever really need to know
what someone was called before what they
are now right
and you probably don't need to know
what's in their pants unless you're like
their partner or their doctor exactly so
let's take another look at this and see
if this can be done better yeah
so I think that's question five did
anyone have any other fears that they
want to talk about for question five
uh we sell chapter three or uh page 13.
15.
um
yeah okay what are you doing to help
raise our question what did you hear
about Samantha no no
I'm not sure if I'm about to tell you
you all
but let me text her too okay as
if it's okay so I could gossip about her
okay no I can at least gossip about you
well at least you're asking that's great
Steve okay so number six uh what are we
doing to help what are you doing to help
raise allies so I guess you know I don't
have kids yet but I sometimes work with
kids so you know I'm thinking about like
talking to kids about like LGBT issues
education is a big part of you know
what I'm into I I think a lot of it has
to do with
um
just how you know kids imitate how you
react to things so like it taking it out
of this context like say something
terrible happening in the family
somebody died something terrible
whatever yeah
I just got a response from Samantha
as it turns out that she is
transgendered and I saw her old name on
my PayPal when I was about to give her
some cash yeah that's practically part
of transgender culture you know you see
someone's dead name of the PayPal you
just move on by and forget you ever saw
it Daddy what's the dead name oh um
sorry that's the name that used to be
called
um that's all it's dead
so I should pretend
right
I could not see that right yeah I mean I
guess if she texted she's okay with you
talking about it but like if it were me
for example like I wouldn't want you
telling folks that I don't know like
about my personal business I hear you
make sense I will keep that in mind I
thank you so much Tommy sure anytime
so anyway you were saying about well
yeah so you know if you if you react
really dramatically then your kid's
gonna think that's how you react so as
you're reacting to