Canyons of Deeper Sharing Video Transcript
The Canyons of Deeper Sharing are the place we may find ourselves after we’ve cultivated a community grown with connectivity and warmth where people feel witnessed and respected. This may take the form of emotional intimacy (sharing about our struggles, dreams, fears and loves), but not necessarily. It can mean sharing an experience of awe, vivid descriptions of sensory experiences, creating shared memories, or sharing our gifts and talents. Being in the canyons also offers us a chance to explore our own formation, identities and beliefs and try them out with each other. Only you and your group will know what kinds of deeper sharing are right for them.
If you can help it, and sometimes you can’t, the Canyons of Deeper Sharing should not be the first place you visit on the Community Building Map to Deeper Joy. Before you take your group through the Canyons, first establish a sense of trust/trustworthiness and safety by visiting the Bonding Harbor and Opening Up Beach where folks can engage in low risk explorations of agency and openness. Visiting the Forest of Affirmations regularly will help group members create a habit of mutuality and compassionate communication, which will come in handy when members choose to be vulnerable with each other. Most importantly, make sure the group revisits the Covenant Lighthouse before sharing deeply. Covenants are the sacred promises we make to ourselves and each other about how we will be together, what we can expect from each other, and what we are accountable to. When the group is first creating their agreements, you can prompt them to include statements about confidentiality (and the limits of confidentiality) and consent in preparation for your canyon adventure.
In addition to creating these conditions within the group, it’s important for you to get informed as a facilitator. First: know your group members. A lot of the group awareness you’ll be developing in preparation for venturing into the Stretching River will serve you well upstream in the Canyons of Deeper Sharing - especially noticing the signs of when someone is at the edge of their growth zone. This is one reason we don’t advise doing a deeper sharing activity with newcomers or recent joiners. So, pay attention to when it’s just not appropriate to go into a deeper sharing activity and have a backup plan handy.
Before a planned deeper sharing activity, remind the group that they can opt out. Give people permission to pass but stay present, tune out, or leave the activity if they need to. Tell them to only share what they’re comfortable with and to ask for consent from the group before sharing anything that comes with a content warning.
A word of caution - when we create open and receptive communities, people may feel safe enough (or otherwise compelled) to “let it all out.” This can take the form of oversharing, emotional “dumping,” or disclosing abuse, serious mental health challenges and so on. As a facilitator, you will need to set a kind and firm boundary, even interrupting someone if necessary, to say something like, “that sounds really hard, will you please tell me more about it after the session so that we can find some support and so others have a chance to share?” If that doesn’t feel quite right, come up with your own sentences well before you need them and practice them out loud so they’re there for you when you need them.
Before anything else, make a list and know the plan for who to turn to if someone discloses pastoral or safety concerns. When we create safer conditions for people to share deeply, while you can’t be prepared for anything and everything that may come up, you can make sure there is a circle of support available to your community members so they know they’re held in a community of care.