Life Pushing Through
“Look past your thoughts, so you may drink the pure nectar of This Moment.”
“Did you feel that!?” No. I didn’t. I was distracted. My hand was to my partner’s belly, trying to feel a move from our soon-to-be-born second child. I had waited so long with my hand pressing on the same spot that my mind had wandered. I couldn’t even remember now what it was I was thinking about. I was angry at myself for not paying attention.
I tried to shift my focus, concentrate all my attention on the physical sensation of my hand on their belly. Nothing.
“Maybe they’re asleep?” my partner speculated.
No. I just needed to wait. And as I waited my mind started to wander again… the latest crazy tweet came to mind. I tried to push it away…
“I felt that!” I waited to see if it happened again. My mind wandered. All the paperwork and emails piling up in my office… focus…
“Wow!” But there’s that bill I forgot to pay. How many days past the deadline is….
We both laugh and I start to cry.
I’ve been so busy during this second pregnancy I haven’t made it to any ultrasounds, or even taken the time to put my hand out to feel a kick or move. I cry in gratitude for feeling this life push through my dullness. How many bumps and kicks of Precious Reality have I missed in my life because I was distracted?
I’m not so good at meditating regularly but if there’s anything sitting in silence has taught me, it’s that silence doesn’t actually exist. Every moment is full to the point of bursting with Reality, whether or not we notice it. It’s not that the news and work and the bills don’t matter, because they do—and yet, are they more important than the “pure nectar of This Moment” waiting to bump and kick to remind us It is always there?
Emerging Life, God/dess-To-Be, Pure Nectar of This Moment, may we wait, minds alert and open, so that when You bump, when You kick through our senses, we may never fail to feel You.