Session II
Schedule: 90 minutes- Gathering Activity (5 min.)
- Discussion of Family Rules (15 min.)
- Story (10 min.)
- Activities: Communication games and exercises (30 min.)
- Reflection on communication issues (20 min.)
- Closing Circle (10 min.)
- to discover that many family problems are shared by other families
- to consider Issues of communication and family rules as central sources of family problems
- to affirm hope and commitment toward change in one's family patterns
- handouts on family rules
- packets of objects for communication game—one for each participant
- story "Something Happened at School," MS magazine, September 1975
Gathering Activity: Values Voting List (5 min.)
As you read the following list of questions, people vote to answer 'yes' by standing, remain sitting to vote 'no.' It is not appropriate to challenge or to comment on individual votes. They are to be accepted at face value. It is appropriate, however, to note trends of the group as a whole.
How many of you...
- are here at Ferry Beach with your whole family?
- are staying in the campground?
- go walking on the beach before breakfast?
- have found a sand dollar?
- are at Ferry Beach for the first time?
- like the house you live in at home?
- have your own room?
- clean your own room?
- have three generations living in your house?
- are adopted?
- are only children?
- would like to be an only child?
- are the oldest child in the family?
- are the youngest child in the family?
- eat breakfast with your whole family?
- cook your own breakfast?
- play games with your family?
- cheat?
- would like to have a larger family?
- never argue with anyone in your family?
- sometimes get angry at your parents, or at your children?
- have rules in your family about ways to behave?
- are happy about those rules?
- are part of a family?
Discussion of Family Rules (15 min.)
Without pressuring anyone to share if they choose not to, facilitate a general discussion of family rules, asking questions such as the following:
- Did you find that the rules are pretty clear in your family, or is there some confusion?
- How are the rules made—by one person, or two, or by everyone?
- Is there a time when rules are reviewed?
- As you worked together on your family rules, did you learn anything new about your family?
The leader then might say, "Family rules are one common source of family problems. Another common source of problems is the ways family members communicate with one another."
Story (10 min.)
"Something Happened at School" from MS magazine, Sept. '75
Activities (30 min.)
To consider the importance of non-verbal communications; the importance of expressing feelings, the importance of expressing yourself carefully, and, the importance of listening carefully.
Body Language: Gather the group in a semi-circle and have volunteers pull from a hat slips of paper with specific emotions written on them. Ask them one at a time to express their assigned emotion with their bodies while the group tries to guess what emotion they are portraying. You might include: fear, anger, surprise, guilt, joy, love, loneliness, sadness.
Feeling Words: Stress the importance of communicating feelings, and building the habit of using the phrase, "I feel ..." In the whole group, begin brainstorming a list of 'feeling' words and write on newsprint. Be sure they really are words that express emotions. Once the group develops some momentum with this activity, ask them to break into family groups and assign each a basic emotion (happiness, anger, sadness, fear, love,) and ask them to list on newsprint as many additional words as they can that express different forms and variations of that feeling. Return to whole group to share these lists, and to note the range of feelings that we experience and ways to express those feelings. Encourage the use of these words in daily communications.
Communication game: Participants choose a partner and the two sit back to back on the floor far enough away from other pairs so that there is some open space in front of them. Give each participant a packet of about six different objects (a pine cone, a sea shell, a pebble, etc.; or, perhaps, a pencil, a pair of scissors, a red crayon, a blue crayon, a rubber band etc.—whatever is handy for you). Instruct one of the partners to lay his or her objects in a pattern on the floor and then to describe to the other partner how the objects are arranged. The second partner should try to arrange his or her objects in the same pattern, without asking clarifying question. When the first partner thinks the directions have been fully given, the two turn around to look at the two patterns and see how they did. It is unusual for the first pattern to be copied accurately.
Reflecting on Family Communications (20 min.)
Ask each family group to find a place apart from the others and talk about how their family communicates, referring as appropriate to the exercises you have just done. Someone in the family should be recorder to keep a list of the likes and dislikes. Ask that each family member complete the phrases, "I really like it when you —"I wish you would—"
After 10 or 15 minutes, gather the group together again and ask if any families might be willing to share briefly what they have been learning about their communication patterns.
Closing (10 min.)
Gather in a circle with a lighted candle or chalice In the center. The leader might say, "Let's stand quietly for just a minute while each of us thinks about how we might change so that we help to improve the communicating in our families.
Each person should have a small candle and one by one light their candle from the center one, saying, in reference to the discussion of communication, "From now on I will try to..." Sing one verse of "This Little Light of Mine."
Last updated on Friday, March 2, 2007.
