Session I
Schedule: 90 minutes- Gathering activity (10 min.)
- Introduction of Families (15 min.)
- Introduction to Program: Defining "Family" (10 min.)
- Activities: Drawing own homes and placing family members in then (20 min.)
- Creating family books (30 min.)
- Closing Circle (5 min.)
- to begin to know one another, as individuals and as families, and to feel comfortable in the group.
- to understand some of the functions served by family units, and to understand that there are many kinds of families.
- to recognize the uniqueness of each family unit, and to reflect on the individuals and relationships which, through time, have formed each family as it is today
- large soft ball
- slips of paper—may be simple white slips, or may be colored, or shaped in creative ways
- pencils
- bulletin board with paper doll cutouts of family clusters as described in the narrative—cover each family with a simple construction paper house to be removed as the family is described
- newsprint
- markers
- crayons
- 9 x 12" pieces of colored poster board
- 9 x 12" white paper
- metal fasteners
- three-hole punch
As people arrive, give each one a slip of paper and ask them to complete the phrase "A family is . . ." Tape or tack these in a prominent place in the meeting room. Parents or older siblings can do the writing for the younger children, or they may draw pictures In response to the phrase.
Gathering Activity (10 min.)
Sitting on the floor in a circle, everyone says their name and one word or phrase that describes something about him or herself (such as, Bill—tennis player; Janice—animal lover; Martin - sunburned; Sandy—quilter; Jessie—Girl Scout). Then a large ball is rolled across the circle, with the roller calling out first his or her own name and descriptive word, and then the name and word of the person to whom the ball is sent; that person rolls the ball again, calling out his or her own name and word and those of the person to whom the ball is sent. Continue in this way until everyone has received and sent the ball at least once. Prompting is permissible, even encouraged, at times.
Introduction of Families (15 min.)
Each family in advance will have been asked to think about a unique family word, or story, or place (see sample introductory letter), and will have the opportunity at this time to share it as a way of introducing their family.
The leader might begin by saying, "We have gathered to think about our families, to tell stories, to think about problems, and to celebrate all the good things that we do for one another in our families. There are lots of ways in which families are alike, but no two families are ever exactly the same, and we are going to begin by finding out how each of our families is unique, by looking at some special things about our own families that are absolutely distinct.
"Each family has a whole special set of memories and experiences that are not shared by any other family at all. Sometimes those memories may be tied to a particular place, or may be captured in a story that is told and re-told. Sometimes a unique word emerges that means something very special to our own family, but would be totally meaningless to anyone else. In our family the word (or place or story) we would like to share with you is...
"Tell us about your special family word, or story, or place."
Defining and Describing Families (10 min.)
"All over the world people live in family groups, to be close to one another, to love one another, to help one another, and to play together. There are lots of different kinds of families—in other countries, and here in our own neighborhoods. Let's look at some of the kinds of families that live on this street." Use bulletin board as described in "supplies" section.
"In the first house live Mr. and Mrs. Hastings and their brand new baby John. Tiny new babies need the very most care of all, and Mr. and Mrs. Hastings are kept very busy indeed. But their baby gives them so much happiness that they really don't mind all the work they have to do.
"Next door live Mrs. French, her daughter Carol, and her granddaughter Patsy. As you can see, there are no men in this house. That is because Mrs. French's husband died recently, and because Carol is divorced from her husband. While Carol is at work, her mother takes care of Patsy. They are lucky to have Mrs. French to help them, and she is lucky to have their love and company too. If Carol marries again, Patsy will have a stepfather.
"In the next house live Mr. and Mrs. Cooper and their six children. With such a large family everyone really has to help. The older children look after the younger ones, and everyone has to help with all the household chores.
"In this house live Janet and Arthur O'Rourke, and Arthur's father William. William's wife died many years ago and for a while he lived alone, but he has been quite sick and cannot live alone any longer, so Janet and Arthur care for him in their home. This is a family with three adults and no children.
"This is another family with no children. This is Harold Linden and Eric Berstrom, two men who love one another and who have chosen to live together, care for one another and be a family.
"This is the Lopez-Johnson family. Maria Lopez and Douglas Johnson have twin girls, Diana and Carmela, and a teenage son Tony, who is Maria's son from her first marriage. Although Tony lives most of the time in this house, he also has a room of his own in his father's house nearby, and he spends many weekends and vacations there.
"And, in the last house live four members of the Roberts family. There are Mr. and Mrs. Roberts and their children Linda and Jeffrey. Linda and Jeffrey were adopted by Mr. and Mrs. Roberts when they were babies. They have grown up together, and although they are not biologically related to their parents, they are very much a family. Just as in any other family, the four Robertses love and help each other every day.
"These families, and your families too, really stretch far beyond these houses and the people who live in them. There are aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents who may live next door, or far, far away. Their love and their help are important too."
Spend a few minutes adding, moving and removing paper dolls to show ways in which these families might change: through death, divorce, births, adoptions, etc. The children, and adults too, will enjoy suggesting changes. Then conclude by saying,
"Every person in every family helps to make that family what it is. If you take even one family member away, the nature of the family changes, and it has to become a new kind of family."
Drawing Homes (20 min.)
Distribute markers and newsprint to each family."We have begun to know something about each of the families here, and now we'll have a chance to find out a little more. Let's have each family draw a floor plan of their house, showing all the rooms and areas. Then think about what might be the favorite place in the house for each member of your family, and draw a picture of each person in their favorite place."
Allow about 15 minutes for this project, then gather the group and have each family briefly explain who each of the people are and what they have chosen as their favorite places in the drawings.
Creating Family Books (30 min.)
Creating family books that tell the story of each family's formation: parents meeting, courtship stories, wedding, home(s), arrival of each baby, growth, beginning school, special events, parties, memories, etc.
For book-making have available a supply of 9 x 12" white paper, crayons, markers, colored poster board for covers, three hole punch, and metal fasteners.
Families will have been asked to bring with them ten or twelve photographs of significant events in the formation and growth of their own family. Additional pictures might have to be drawn to flesh out the story.
The title of the book might be "The Story of the Smith Family," and it might begin, "Once upon a time John and Mary fell in love...," or whatever variation is appropriate for the particular family.
Although each family may approach this project in their own way, the leader might suggest that parents write the story and children do the illustrating. Children might not be familiar with early events, of course, so the parents' primary role would be as story teller, describing how they met, what their first home looked like, etc., and, perhaps as captioners, writing brief descriptions to accompany each picture drawn.
Homework Assignment
"Between now and the next meeting of this group, find a time to work together as a family making a list of your family rules. Choose someone to be the, recorder and to write down everything that any member of the family considers to be a rule. Then, discuss each of these to determine if it is, in fact, a family rule. Don't get sidetracked by discussions of whether or not the rules are reasonable, or whether they are obeyed. You're not trying to 'catch' anybody. You're just making a list."
Closing (5 min.)
Story: "Hugs and Whirls," by Liz Aurbach
"One day I spoke gruffly to the Daughter. 'If you don't watch it, Young Lady, I'm going to pick you up and whirl you around and hug you and kiss you.'
"Her eyes narrowed. Gravely she said, 'I'm not 'watching it, Mom.'
"I solemnly filled my arms with Daughter, spun 'round and 'round, and then kissed my bundle till we both were giggling.
"I know this was a good thing, one of the many, quick, marvelous moments between parent and child. It might have been fleeting, but she wanted to do it again and again, then call her Dad to tell him.
"She's practiced this trick on her puppies, the plush one and the terrier. They love being loved, too.
"I repeat it just often enough with the Daughter to keep the chuckle fresh. I like it especially when she comes and finds me, peeling carrots or sitting at the typewriter, and holding back a smile, says, 'I'm not watching it, Mom.'
"Already the Daughter is 38 pounds. I won't always be able to scoop her up and whirl her around. But when I make wishes, one of mine is that 'being whirled' will be one or her childhood memories."
We are engaged in making memories, and in making families every day. Let's make those memories and those families a source of celebration!
Last updated on Friday, March 2, 2007.
