VIRTUE ETHICS
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Youth
WORKSHOP 8: HUMILITY
BY JESSICA YORK JUDITH A. FREDIANI, DEVELOPMENTAL EDITOR
© Copyright 2012 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 9/29/2014 8:38:35 PM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
WORKSHOP OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
Compassion directed to oneself is humility. — Simone Weil
Our culture offers mixed messages about the virtue of humility. While expressions of humility are socially acceptable, even encouraged, we are also expected to stand up for our rights and take credit for our contributions. The youth learn that practicing humility as a virtue does not mean pretending you do not have talents and accomplishments. It does mean acknowledging that, despite your many gifts, you are not perfect—you still have room for improvement; there will be people who can outshine you. Humility helps us acknowledge our mistakes and failures. It empowers us to let other people's lights shine brightly, too.
GOALS
This workshop will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
WORKSHOP-AT-A-GLANCE
Activity | Minutes |
Opening | 10 |
Activity 1: Up Side, Down Side | 10 |
Activity 2: Story — The Value of a Gift | 10 |
Activity 3: Said and Done | 30 |
Activity 4: Dilemmas | 10 |
Activity 5: Practice | 15 |
Faith in Action: Untouchables | |
Closing | 5 |
Alternate Activity 1: Real Life Challenges | |
Alternate Activity 2: Gratitude as a Spiritual Practice | 20 |
Alternate Activity 3: My Care and Feeding Booklet | 30 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
Read Handout 1, Gratitude for What We May Take for Granted. This is not an easy prayer. The author, a UU minister, calls us to a grateful response to experiences we would characterize as negative. The prayer does not ask us to be happy about life's pain. It acknowledges that our anger, tears, or feelings of brokenness can make gratitude difficult. Yet negative experiences are part of life, for which we are grateful.
Does being grateful for our life mean we should be thankful for the "downs" as well as the "ups?" What has been your experience? What can you communicate to youth, during the workshop, about the humbling experience of simply being a human being?
WORKSHOP PLAN
OPENING (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Invite a volunteer to light the chalice while you lead the group to recite the chalice lighting words:
The thought manifests as the word
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings...
As the shadow follows the body,
As we think, so we become.
— from the Dhammapada, Sayings of the Buddha
Invite the youth to check in by sharing any moral challenges they have experienced since the last meeting. If appropriate, use Alternate Activity 1 to further explore the group's challenges. If youth appear interested in discussing a particular challenge but you feel there is not enough time in this meeting, ask the person who shared it to write a short description of the challenge on the Bicycle Rack.
Tell participants that today you will talk about humility.
ACTIVITY 1: UP SIDE, DOWN SIDE (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants identify positive and negative aspects of the day's virtue.
Invite youth to take a moment and think about "humility" as a virtue. Point out the definitions of humility you have posted. Share that the adjective "humble" is the Begin a discussion, using these prompts:
During the discussion, begin to capture on newsprint participants' "up side" (positive) and "down side" (negative) comments about moderation as a virtue. Then, focus the youth on these questions...
...and continue recording their comments on the newsprint.
To conclude, review the comments on the newsprint.
ACTIVITY 2: STORY — THE VALUE OF A GIFT (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Youth respond to a true story about humility.
Tell or read the story.
Process the story with these questions:
Share this quotation from the author C.S. Lewis:
The point is that each person's pride is in competition with everyone else's pride. It is because I wanted to be the big noise at the party that I am so annoyed at someone else being the big noise. Two of a trade never agree. Now what you want to get clear is that Pride is essentially competitive—is competitive by its very nature—while the other vices are competitive only, so to speak, by accident. Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next [person]... We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking, there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.
Ask:
ACTIVITY 3: SAID AND DONE (30 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants use quotes about humility to create skits.
Tell the group that Confucius said, "Humility is the solid foundation of all the virtues." Ask:
Say that sometimes an idea can sound great in abstract, but is harder to translate well to real life situations. Invite youth to practice translating noble sentiments into real life situations. The group will break into teams. Each team will randomly pick a quote and invent a real life situation to illustrate the wisdom of the quote. Turn the situation into a short skit, three minutes or less.
Divide into teams of three or more. Do not have more than four teams. Let each team pick a quote from the basket, without reading it beforehand. Let teams discuss and rehearse in private spaces, if available, for 10 minutes. If a team has difficulty thinking of a skit to illustrate their quote, either be ready with suggestions or let them pick another quote.
After 15 minutes, gather the group back together and ask teams to present their skits. Afterwards, discuss the skits.
ACTIVITY 4: DILEMMAS (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Youth discuss scenarios involving ethical dilemmas.
Seek a volunteer to read each of the two scenarios. For each dilemma, open the floor to reactions and answers. Ask the youth if it reminds them of other dilemmas they have experienced or heard of, real or fictional. What part does humility play in the dilemma?
ACTIVITY 5: PRACTICE (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants understand how the practice of humility affects their lives.
Invite youth to take five minutes to journal, using the questions on newsprint as prompts, or to draw or meditate on the questions. While they work, you might offer this additional prompt:
Invite participants to share journal writing to their level of comfort. You may wish to remind youth that you are a mandated reporter and, if anyone discloses behavior that could be dangerous to themselves or others, you will need to report it. Listen to what is said.
When sharing is complete or after ten minutes, invite youth to take the next five minutes to decorate cork beads. Distribute participants' clipboards, new beads (one per youth), and decorating materials. Invite youth to decorate a bead while reflecting on their personal experiences with humility. Remind them that the beads will act as a reminder to use their highest values.
As participants finish, have them add this bead to the anklet they started in Workshop 1.
If any participant missed Workshop 1, provide them with a clipboard, hemp, a bead for their name bead, and instruction to begin their anklet.
Collect journals, clipboards, and anklet-making materials, and store for the next workshop.
CLOSING (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Tell participants:
Today's quote is from the 19th century and speaks of "great men." At the time, this gender exclusion was common, but it is not acceptable today.
Ask the youth to help you make this quotation inclusive of all genders, including transgender people:
I believe that the first test of a truly great man is his humility. I don't mean by humility, doubt of his power. But really great men have a curious feeling that the greatness is not of them, but through them. And they see something divine in every other man and are endlessly, foolishly, incredibly merciful. —John Ruskin (1819-1900), art critic
Write the editorial changes on the newsprint.
Have a volunteer read the modified quotation while another extinguishes the chalice.
Distribute Taking It Home.
FAITH IN ACTION: UNTOUCHABLES
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Say in these words or your own:
This is a true story of a man who was humbled and it changed his life:
Narayanan Krishnan was on his way to becoming a five-star chef in Switzerland when he encountered a man on the street of his hometown in Maduria, India. The man belonged to a group called "untouchables." Though India is working to combat classism, classes still exist. One traditional class that has brought infamy to the country is Untouchables. These people are considered so low that many people will literally not touch them. Narayanan reached out to touch the old man and his life was changed forever. Not because he was stained or cursed by the touch, but because he was blessed to find his life's work. He started feeding the hungry fresh-cooked meals, using his personal savings. His ministry to literally "the least of these" has grown and become Akshaya USA. This organization is currently trying to build a homeless shelter so they can help more people.
The Akshaya website makes this statement: "Today, did you... shower, eat something, get your medicine, sleep indoors? Now imagine those starving, exhausted, mentally ill, filthy, abused and left for dead on the street. If it were your street, your neighborhood, you know what you'd do... "
Ask the youth:
One group the youth might identify is the mentally ill. Some homeless people on our streets have mental illness that makes their search for resources all the harder. If youth do not, suggest mentally ill homeless people. Lead a discussion about how the youth can help. Is there a local hospital or community center which serves the mentally ill and needs donations? Designate a volunteer to find out what items are needed and have the group hold a collection drive.
Consider baking holiday treats for a hospital or community center for Valentine's Day. Tell their patrons that somebody loves them.
Perhaps services for the mentally ill need more public funding. The group could write to their local, state, or national legislators and urge them to allocate funds.
Or, encourage the youth to hold a fundraiser for the shelter being built by Akshaya.
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
Reflect upon the workshop with your co-leader. Which activities did the group enjoy most? Were varied learning styles addressed? Are the group dynamics taking shape in a healthy way, or are there issues you should address? Did participants keep to the covenant? Do co-leaders feel the work is shared equally? Did you have fun?
Read the next workshop for any advance preparation needed and decide who will be responsible for what.
TAKING IT HOME
Compassion directed to oneself is humility. — Simone Weil
IN TODAY'S WORKSHOP... we discussed the virtue of humility. We read quotations from holy texts and wise people on humility and turned those words into real life situations. We journaled about ways we might practice the virtue of humility in our lives.
Just for Fun. The Virtues Project website has a game called Five Spread (at www.virtuesproject.com/FiveSpread.html?virtueswhat). It resembles a Tarot card reading, but with suggested virtues to help you with a dilemma you are experiencing. Remember: No game on a computer can understand you or your personal situations. The game's predictions are random and should not be taken too seriously. However, if you find information that seems useful, consider it. After all, who among us cannot benefit from practicing virtues?
Humility. Rap music is known for its boasting. Virtually every rap artist and group has a song espousing their supremacy. For example, Kanye West in "Stronger" commands us to, "Bow in the presence of greatness." While boasting is often associated with men, female rap artists get in the act, too. Joanna Newsom says, in "The Book of Right-On," "Do you want to sit at my table?/ My fighting fame is fabled/ And fortune finds me fit and able." The Am I Right (at www.amiright.com/real/boastartist/) website (Making Fun of Music, One Song at a Time) collects boasts from music. Many samples have been sent in and you can see that rap is not the only genre full of boasting. Do you have lyrics to submit?
On the Gratefulness (at www.gratefulness.org/) website, you can light a candle in appreciation for good things in your life or if you feel in need of support for something troublesome. Share this site with your friends.
The Doctor (PG-13, 1991, directed by Randa Haines) is a movie about a cocky physician who becomes seriously ill and is humbled by his experiences as a patient. What other movies about humbling experiences can you think of?
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: REAL LIFE CHALLENGES
Materials for Activity
Description of Activity
Youth discuss ethical challenges they have faced.
If someone shared an experience in check-in or during any workshop activities that the group would like to explore further, do so now. This could be particularly useful if an experience resonated with many participants. If several challenges are already listed on the Bicycle Rack, invite the youth to choose one to discuss. It need not be related to this workshop's topic.
You might use these questions to structure a discussion:
Affirm that is always easier to see good solutions in hindsight and that living a life according to virtues we want to nurture or values we hold dear is not always easy. We do not need to always "get it right," but we do need to keep trying.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 2: GRATITUDE AS A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants focus on gratefulness as a by-product of humility and practice being intentionally grateful.
Ask the group what is the relationship between humility and gratefulness. If no one offers, suggest that humility helps us see we have many undeserved gifts for which we should be grateful.
Brainstorm ways people express that they are grateful. Note contributions briefly on newsprint. Use these prompts, if needed:
Tell participants that some people practice gratefulness as a spiritual practice. A spiritual practice is an activity you do regularly that helps you feel spiritually connected or fulfilled. A spiritual practice is a time to focus on being the kind of person you wish to be. Some spiritual practices offer a "time-out" from the regular hustle and bustle of our days. Others may be an activity you do, perhaps with others, as an expression of your spiritual self.
Gather ideas for how you could practice gratefulness regularly. You may find ideas on the newsprint list.
Suggest the group try one or more practices now. Play soothing music if you have brought some. If you have journals or writing paper, distribute to the youth and invite them to quietly write or draw. Or, youth can pray or meditate.
Distribute Handout 1, Gratitude for What We May Take for Granted, by Unitarian Universalist minister L. Annie Foerster. Have volunteers take turns reading sections of the prayer aloud. Ask, "What do you think about the way the prayer poses difficult situations, like oppression, illness, and death, as experiences to be grateful for?" The author seems to say we should be grateful for everything that makes us human. Acknowledge that this is challenging, and requires intention. Is this prayer one participants feel is valuable?
Point out that this prayer speaks to one of the messages of this program: We are all imperfect beings, practicing being virtuous people... ailing... and practicing again.
Variation
If you have Internet access, visit the Gratefulness (at www.gratefulness.org/) website and lead the group to light a virtual candle in appreciation of something for which they are grateful. Encourage youth to consider making a spiritual practice of gratefulness.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 3: MY CARE AND FEEDING BOOKLET (30 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Description of Activity
Youth create a booklet on the care and feeding of humility.
Say, in these words or your own:
Have you ever read a booklet or a web page on how to take care of a new pet or plant? Living things, if they are to survive, need nurturance
What does a plant need to survive? [Affirm correct responses.]
What does your pet need to survive? [Affirm correct responses.]
Now, think of the virtue of humility. If you want to stay humble, keep humility alive in you, how will you nurture it? [Responses may include remembering to be grateful; sharing credit for group projects; practicing an art, craft, or sport to become better; or praising others for their hard work. Prompt if needed.] As a reminder of what you need to practice to keep humility alive in your life, you can make a booklet, "My Care and Feeding of Humility Booklet."
Demonstrate how to fold a few sheets of paper in half and staple to make the booklet. Use construction paper for the cover. Invite participants to make booklets, fill the pages with tips on the care and feeding of humility, including illustrations, and design a cover.
Encourage the youth to share ideas.
If time permits, invite a few volunteers to share their booklets. Invite the youth to take their booklets home.
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 8:
STORY: THE VALUE OF A GIFT
What is the value of a gift given?
Is it just the dollar amount on the price tag or are some gifts worth much more?
Let me tell you about a gift that was not worth much monetarily, but which made a wealthy woman richer than she could have imagined.
I was fortunate to participate in an international charitable organization's trip to Honduras. The trip was for educators, which was defined broadly: some of the people on the tour were schoolteachers, others volunteered at local schools to help children learn about the work of the organization. Our support for this organization and belief in the value of education was what we shared. Otherwise, we were an eclectic bunch, varied in age, location, ethnicity, and class. We were led by Rita, a local woman, married to the Presbyterian minister who organized the Honduras program.
I was assigned to a dorm with three other women. One of those women was Ann. Ann was tall and lanky. She was gregarious and loud. She wore comfortable clothes in muted colors, but they looked expensive. Even her shoes looked expensive. Ann did not need to work for a living; she lived in a small New England town and volunteered at the local historical society. After the trip, she planned to share her experiences with the rest of the ladies at the historical society. As her roommates, we heard all about it. We heard about her horses, her antique jewelry, her summer place, her two Mini Coopers. Ann's conversation revolved around her possessions. We heard all about them because my other two roommates virtually drooled over her lifestyle. You could hear the longing and envy in their urges for her to tell more.
During the day, we toured sites where the charity was working with local partners to end hunger. Ann strode into villages, with a bright smile and jovial banter, and made easy friends. She was funny and a master of sparkling conversation — what was there not to like? She always had questions and was generous with her opinions.
She noticed other people's possessions. She complimented our translator/guide, Rita, on her earrings. She raved about my green hiking boots. She was always the last one back from shopping trips, one time purchasing a large, hand-carved bench that was going to cost almost as much to ship to her home as what she had paid for it.
During one long bus ride, she leaned over to me and whispered, "Look inside their houses!" I started peeking quickly into open doorways of the simple huts sitting beside the road. In many of them, I only saw a hammock or two, maybe a plastic chair, pots and pans. This was poverty beyond what I had seen in the States. Still, Ann seemed more shocked than I. After all, if hunger was a reality for these villages, they would not spend money on extraneous furniture.
On the last day, we packed our bags, stripped our beds, and loaded the bus. I came back into the dorm room for the last time, to retrieve a bag I had forgotten. Ann was sitting on her naked bed, her head lowered, her arms outstretched in front of her. She said nothing as I entered the room, so I knew something must be wrong.
"Ann, are you okay?" I asked. For a time, she said nothing.
"She gave me her earrings," she finally volunteered, still not looking up.
"Who gave you her earrings?"
"Rita. I complimented her on her earrings the other day and she brought them today just to give them to me. I can't believe she did that. She has so little... ." her voice drifted off, her hands unclenched and I saw the inexpensive little beaded earrings in her palms. She looked up, deep into my eyes. Tears were rolling down her face. In the silence of the tiny room, I swear I could feel Ann's heart beating stronger and louder than humanely possible. I smiled at her. She smiled back. Together, we picked up our bags and walked to the bus to start our journey home.
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 8:
HANDOUT 1: GRATITUDE FOR WHAT WE MAY TAKE FOR GRANTED
By Reverend L. Annie Foerster, in For Praying Out Loud: Interfaith Prayers for Public Occasions (Boston: Skinner House, 2003), used with permission.
SPIRIT OF ALL GIFTS AND GRACE
We are not ungrateful—not all the time.
We know that life is a precious gift. Though we would
appear at times to squander it, remember the ways we do not:
When we are happy, accept our joy as gratitude for all opportunities, accepted and ignored.
When we are broken, accept our tears and anger as gratitude for feeling deeply.
When we reach out to others, accept our compassion as gratitude for conscience and compassion.
When we choose solitude, accept our silence as gratitude for the deepness of spirit we are seeking.
When we act thoughtlessly, accept our mistakes as gratitude for the freedom we have in our lives.
When we act foolishly, accept our lapses as gratitude for the lessons we have yet to learn.
When we share our stories, accept the telling of our lives as gratitude for community and family.
When we worship, accept our ritual mumblings as symbols of gratitude for all they represent.
Spirit of Thanksgiving, when we remember to give thanks for life and love, for knowledge and wisdom, for freedom to act and for freedom from oppression, accept our obvious omissions as unspoken gratitude for suffering that brings us compassion, for sorrow that helps us grow, for disappointment that gives us determination, for illness that offers healing, and for death that makes way for new cycles of life and creation.
Amen.
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 8:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: HUMILITY QUOTES
1. from The Tao de Ching, Chapter 22, translated by J.H. MacDonald
If you want to become whole,
first let yourself become broken.
If you want to become straight,
first let yourself become twisted.
If you want to become full,
first let yourself become empty.
If you want to become new,
first let yourself become old.
Those whose desires are few gets them,
those whose desires are great go astray.
For this reason the Master embraces the Tao,
as an example for the world to follow.
Because she isn't self centered,
people can see the light in her.
Because she does not boast of herself,
she becomes a shining example.
Because she does not glorify herself,
she becomes a person of merit.
Because she wants nothing from the world,
the world can not overcome her.
When the ancient Masters said,
"If you want to become whole,
then first let yourself be broken,"
they weren't using empty words.
All who do this will be made complete.
2. from The Tao de Ching, an excerpt from Chapter 67, translated by J.H. MacDonald
There are three jewels that I cherish:
compassion, moderation, and humility.
With compassion, you will be able to be brave,
With moderation, you will be able to give to others,
With humility, you will be able to become a great leader.
To abandon compassion while seeking to be brave,
or abandoning moderation while being benevolent,
or abandoning humility while seeking to lead
will only lead to greater trouble.
The compassionate warrior will be the winner,
and if compassion is your defense you will be secure.
Compassion is the protector of Heavens salvation.
3. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. — Marianne Williamson, in A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles
4. The (true) servants of (God) the Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, reply with (words of) peace. — Quran, 25:63
5. Religion is to do right. It is to love, it is to serve, it is to think, it is to be humble. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
6. It is a wholesome and necessary thing for us to turn again to the earth and in the contemplation of her beauties to know of wonder and humility. — Rachel Carson
7. Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud. — Hebrew scripture, Proverbs 16:19
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 8:
LEADER RESOURCE 2: HUMILITY DILEMMAS
Dilemma 1
Your table in geography class is assigned to work together as a team to create a PowerPoint presentation on Cuba. Everyone at the table takes responsibility for the information in four slides. Everyone together decides on slide design and progression. You suggest adding mambo music to the PowerPoint. You find the music and spend hours working out how to add it to the presentation. When presented in class, the teacher loves the addition of the music. She praises it. One of your tablemates says, "Yeah, we thought it would be a nice touch." No one mentions that it was your idea. Your feelings are hurt. You feel as if your tablemates do not appreciate the time you put into adding the music which enriched the PowerPoint and helped attain the A-plus. What do you do?
Dilemma 2
It is time for elections in your school's Gay/Straight Alliance (GSA). You served as vice president last year and are prepared to step into the presidency. The GSA has made many plans for the future and you were heavily involved in setting the group's goals. Your friends are excited about electing you. They know you have sacrificed playing sports and being involved in leadership in other clubs to focus on strengthening the GSA. The day before the election you find out that the quietest member of the GSA—a new student who transferred to your school mid-year—was president of the GSA at their old high school. That school has a reputation for having a very active and widely supported GSA. You are wondering which of you would make the best president. You doubt that the new member will even be nominated. What do you do?
FIND OUT MORE
The Humanity Quest (at humanityquest.com/) website promotes the exploration of 500 values, including humility. A search under any particular value will give you links to resources that may include quotations, art and other activities, e-lists and newsletters dealing with this value, art that expresses this value, and reference material.
Read an interesting, scholarly article on boasting: "Flytes of Fancy: Boasting and Boasters from Beowulf to Gansta Rap (at www.illinoismedieval.org/ems/VOL13/halama.html)" by Alta Cools Halama in Essays in Medieval Studies.
Mother Nature has a way of humbling us all, especially when a natural disaster occurs. In his article "Humility in a Climate Age (at www.tikkun.org/article.php/may2010wapner)," Paul Wapner (Tikkun magazine, May/June 2010) looks at two ways to approach our current environmental crisis: with humility, which calls for lifestyle changes, or with "mastery," which argues that we should devise technologies to fix our problem.