VIRTUE ETHICS
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Youth
WORKSHOP 12: LOYALTY
BY JESSICA YORK JUDITH A. FREDIANI, DEVELOPMENTAL EDITOR
© Copyright 2012 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 9/29/2014 8:44:45 PM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
WORKSHOP OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
Loyalty is still the same, whether it win or lose the game; true as a dial to the sun, although it be not shined upon. — Samuel Butler, novelist
This workshop focuses on loyalty. Be prepared—youth may be unfamiliar with the word and need a definition. Youth discover different types of loyalty and examine a situation in which loyalties to oneself, one's congregation, and Unitarian Universalism compete.
This workshop concludes the program. Alternate Activity 3, Celebration, offers a wrap-up. Alternate Activity 2, Worship Service, guides the youth to plan a multigenerational worship service in which they share their virtue ethics work with the congregation.
GOALS
This workshop will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
WORKSHOP-AT-A-GLANCE
Activity | Minutes |
Opening | 15 |
Activity 1: Two Sides to Every Virtue | 10 |
Activity 2: Loyalty Bingo | 20 |
Activity 3: Story – A Church Divided | 10 |
Activity 4: Dilemma | 10 |
Activity 5: Practice | 20 |
Faith in Action: My Little UU Book of Virtues | 60 |
Closing | 5 |
Alternate Activity 1: Real Life Challenges | |
Alternate Activity 2: Worship Service | |
Alternate Activity 3: Celebration | 20 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
The story in this workshop deals with loyalty to congregation, faith, and oneself. What does this mean to you? Do you feel loyalty to your congregation? To Unitarian Universalism? If so, how does this manifest? What does this sense of loyalty stem from: Love? A need to serve? Appreciation? History?
Do you feel loyal to the participants in this workshop? This is the last workshop of the program, but its story need not end. How will your loyalty manifest after this program? Can it be a positive motivator for action and service? Consider future ways you might demonstrate your loyalty to your congregation, your faith, and this group of youth.
WORKSHOP PLAN
OPENING (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Invite a volunteer to light the chalice while you lead the group to recite the chalice lighting words:
The thought manifests as the word
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings...
As the shadow follows the body,
As we think, so we become.
— from the Dhammapada, Sayings of the Buddha
Invite the youth to check in by sharing any moral challenges they have experienced since the last meeting. If appropriate, use Alternate Activity 1 to further explore the group's challenges. If youth appear interested in discussing a particular challenge but you feel there is not enough time in this meeting, ask the person who shared it to write a short description of the challenge on the Bicycle Rack.
Tell participants that today you will talk about loyalty.
ACTIVITY 1: TWO SIDES TO EVERY VIRTUE (10 MINUTES)
Description of Activity
Participants identify positive and negative aspects of the virtue of loyalty.
Invite youth to sit for a moment and think about loyalty as a virtue. Offer the Dictionary.com website definition of loyalty: "faithful adherence to a sovereign, government, leader, cause, commitments, obligations, etc... " Synonyms include "devotion" and "faithfulness." These prompts might be useful:
Invite youth to share their reflections, with statements that start off with "On the positive side... " or "On the negative side... ". For example, "On the positive side, brand loyalty makes you feel comfortable: you know what you are getting when you buy Breyer's Ice Cream." / "On the negative side, companies can take advantage of your loyalty to their products. They can raise the price or lower the quality, if they feel they can count on you to buy it anyway." Do youth have statements that do not fit either clause? Discuss these together.
Make sure these points are discussed:
ACTIVITY 2: LOYALTY BINGO (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants compare their loyalties to those of their peers by creating and playing a game.
Distribute Handout 1, Bingo Grid and pencils. Ask youth to fill in all the spaces on the grid with someone or something they are loyal to, however they define loyalty. It can be a sports team, a friend, a group (like "my school band"), an activity (such as "scouting"), a cause ("environmentalism") or an ideal or value ("honesty"). Prompt by repeating the definition of loyalty: "faithful adherence to a sovereign, government, leader, cause, commitments, obligations, etc... ".
Ask participants to use generic terms, for example, "my sibling" instead of "Eric." If youth have trouble filling 16 boxes, encourage them to break down some items. Instead of saying, "my family," if someone has two moms, a brother, and a cousin, they can put each person in a separate box.
Important: No peeking! Everyone should fill out their grid independently and not share it.
Give the group five minutes or until you see they are done.
Give each participant 16 of the blank chips you made from Leader Resource 1, Bingo Chips. Ask participants to copy what they wrote on each square on their bingo grid onto a bingo chip.
Collect all the chips and put them in the bowl.
Distribute bingo sheet markers and invite participants to play bingo.
Mix up the chips in the bowl and choose one at a time, reading its text aloud, as you would with numbers in bingo. Instruct the youth that if they have a box on their grid with the words you read from a chip, they may cover that box with a marker. A full row, column, or diagonal line filled with four marked boxes wins.
Play until you have a winner. Play as many times as you can within your time frame. Process the activity:
ACTIVITY 3: STORY – A CHURCH DIVIDED (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Youth hear and discuss a true story about a congregation's split loyalties.
Tell or read the story.
Then (optional) show the video (12:22) about the Unitarian Church of Harrisburg (at www.uua.org/growth/stories/breakthrough/167371.shtml). Tell the youth the video was prepared for the UUA General Assembly 2010, where this congregation was honored as a Breakthrough Congregation.
Discuss the story with the following questions:
Invite the youth to share the ways they have shown loyalty to the congregation and/or the faith. If you wish, give examples of your own. Ask participants to think of ways they might provide service to demonstrate their loyalty in the near future. See if there is energy for a group loyalty project, or if a team of volunteers wish to do a project together.
ACTIVITY 4: DILEMMA (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Youth discuss scenarios involving ethical dilemmas.
Seek a volunteer to read one of the two dilemmas. Open the floor to reactions and answers. For each dilemma, ask participants if this reminds them of another dilemma they have encountered or heard of, real or fictional. Ask, "How could loyalty play a part in this dilemma?"
If time permits, role play the dilemmas.
ACTIVITY 5: PRACTICE (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants understand how the use of loyalty affects their lives.
Invite youth to take five minutes to journal, using the questions on newsprint as prompts, or to draw or meditate on the questions. Additional prompts you may add, while the group journals:
Invite participants to share journal writing to their level of comfort. Listen to what is said.
When sharing is complete or after ten minutes, distribute participants' clipboards, new beads (one per youth), and decorating materials. Invite youth to decorate a bead while reflecting on their personal experiences with generosity. Remind them that the beads will act as a reminder to use their highest values.
As participants finish, have them add this bead to the anklet they started in Workshop 1. Remind participants that since this workshop is the last one, their anklets are complete. Instead of a temporary bow to keep the ends together, suggest they place the anklet around their ankles to measure, and then use more beads to complete their anklet. Once youth are satisfied with their anklets, offer to help them tie heavy knots to close them.
CLOSING (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Remind participants that this is the last workshop. Ask the group to read together, aloud, the Opening words you have used for each workshop:
The thought manifests as the word
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings...
As the shadow follows the body,
As we think, so we become.
— from the Dhammapada, Sayings of the Buddha
Remind the group that you discussed this reading in the first workshop. Ask, "Does it mean anything to you now, that it did not mean at the beginning?" Take all responses.
Say:
I wish you a lifetime of being loyal to yourself and to the values and virtues you hold dear. The people that we are, the people we are always becoming, are precious and holy. Amen.
Extinguish the chalice. Distribute Taking It Home.
FAITH IN ACTION: MY LITTLE UU BOOK OF VIRTUES (60 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Youth write short stories about virtues.
Tell the group that in the 1990s William Bennett, a conservative politician, wrote a book called The Book of Virtues. It was a bestseller, but not without controversy. Bennett seemed to blame our country's problems on a lack of true, old-fashioned virtues. The tone of the book is conservative and preachy. His view is very simplistic.
[If you have the book, invite a volunteer to read a story. Then, ask the group if they believe good manners are important. Most will say yes. If you have used a passage from The Book of Virtues, ask if the youth liked the story, and why or why not.
Say:
Although we might say some virtues are timeless, stories are not always so. It matters not only what you are trying to communicate, but how you communicate it.
Ask the group if they could think of stories that effectively illustrate how important virtues are today. Invite each participant to think of a virtue and a story that demonstrates it. Show them the binder and explain they will make a collection of stories: "A Little UU Book of Virtues." Their story can be fiction or non-fiction. They can retell a story from one of the workshops. They may use virtues not covered in the workshops. If they prefer, they can work in pairs. Write the story and include at least one illustration.
Distribute paper and writing/drawing implements.
Give participants at least 30 minutes. Then, re-gather the group and have volunteers share stories.
Collect the stories and invite youth to (1) illustrate a front cover, (2) make a Table of Contents, (3) create a blurb for the back cover, and (4) come up with ideas for sharing the book with the wider congregation.
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
Reflect on the program with your co-leader. Thank one another for your presence and support. Prepare your feedback for the congregation's religious educator, so they may use it next time your congregation offers this program.
TAKING IT HOME
Loyalty is still the same, whether it win or lose the game; true as a dial to the sun, although it be not shined upon. — Samuel Butler, novelist
IN TODAY'S WORKSHOP... we discussed loyalty. In addition to loyalty to family, friends, and institutions, we talked about loyalty to one's congregation and Unitarian Universalism. This was our concluding workshop, so today we are bringing our completed anklets home. The anklets are physical reminders of our promise to make decisions that affirm we are virtuous and loving people.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: REAL LIFE CHALLENGES
Materials for Activity
Description of Activity
Youth discuss ethical challenges they have faced.
If someone shared an experience in check-in or during any workshop activities that the group would like to explore further, do so now. This could be particularly useful if an experience resonated with many participants. If several challenges are already listed on the Bicycle Rack, invite the youth to choose one to discuss. It need not be related to this workshop’s topic.
You might use these questions to structure a discussion:
Affirm that is always easier to see good solutions in hindsight and that living a life according to virtues we want to nurture or values we hold dear is not always easy. We do not need to always “get it right,” but we do need to keep trying.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 2: WORSHIP SERVICE
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants plan a multigenerational worship service around a virtue ethics theme.
If you invited a guest to help with planning, introduce them to the group.
Plan a worship service:
1. Start by defining the goals of this service. Will youth invite the congregants to wrestle with one or more of the virtues the group has studied? Will the youth share about how these virtues play out in their lives? Defining the goals will help keep the conversation focused.
2. Help the youth decide what elements the worship will include. For example, will there be a sermon? A homily? Or, sharing of personal stories? Will there be a Story for All Ages? Hymns and/or recorded music?
3. Assign "To Do" items, with deadlines and clear lines of communication.
Plan to hold a second meeting to put all the pieces together. Depending on participants' access to technology, small groups might meet via phone or Skype.
4. Plan a rehearsal date.
5. Publicize the worship service to the wider congregation.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 3: CELEBRATION (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
The group celebrates the end of the program and the work they have done.
Since this is the last workshop, you might want to set aside time for a small celebration. Include food and drink, brought by participants, families, and/or co-leaders.
Invite the participants and any guests (families, your congregation) to see any materials the youth have displayed, including the youth's anklets. Discuss the virtues examined in the program. Invite the youth to share about recent encounters with any of the virtues. Play the games you may have designed in this and previous workshops.
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 12:
STORY: A CHURCH DIVIDED
Based on a 2011 interview with Reverend Howard Dana, who has been the Unitarian Church of Harrisburg's minister since August, 2000.
When you were a child, did you have a favorite toy? Maybe it was a stuffed animal, doll, or toy truck. Did it go everywhere with you: to the market, in the tub, to bed? Were you completely loyal to it, preferring it to all other toys?
We learn loyalty at a very early age. Before we learn to be fair, long before we start to worry about moderation or humility, we learn to love and we show loyalty to what we love. As we grow, we become loyal to truths, loyal to ideas, loyal to institutions that represent our highest values. Sometimes though we need to stop and question our loyalties. Loyalties can become stale and outdated. Mark Twain said "Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul."
The Unitarian Church of Harrisburg (Pennsylvania) (UCH) learned an important lesson in loyalty. Their young minister, Reverend Howard Dana, had come to this congregation twelve years ago, hoping to help them live their ministry out in the world. Yet he and others in the congregation felt their ministry was too insular, too focused on themselves. The congregation's building was located in the suburbs, and they began to talk about expanding their facility there. They were located near the city of Harrisburg, which was struggling, like most large U.S. cities. Shouldn't their ministry try to help heal this hurting community? Could they really do this by sitting on the suburban sidelines?
And so some members begin to dream: What if the UCH bought an additional church in the inner city, right in the thick of it? Wouldn't they be better able to live out their mission? Wouldn't this build stronger UU souls?
They found the perfect candidate: a church in the neighborhood of Allison Hills, an area where mostly people of color lived and more people rented than owned homes. A small congregation—joint United Church of Christ and Methodist—owned the building, but were excited at the prospect of the UUs buying the building, which needed expensive improvements. In addition, this congregation was already active in the community and willing to partner with the UUs.
The UCH could buy the building and pay for the improvements for much less than it could cost to expand their suburban home.
Not everyone agreed that buying a church in the city was a good idea. After all, our country just experienced a scary recession. Times were hard economically: people were losing jobs, losing their homes. If ever there was a time to be fiscally conservative, this was it! Buying a big, old church in the heart of Harrisburg, where property values were dismal, seemed absolute madness. Conservative members said they spoke for fiscal accountability: their loyalty was to keep the church, as it existed right now, safe and sound. As it existed right now... .Where was the loyalty of these members?
[Leader: Take a couple of answers.]
Their loyalty was to stewardship of the church home that had nurtured and sheltered them. They wanted to preserve it, so it could stay a home for them and others who might find it.
Other members had a different loyalty. They said, "We cannot live out our mission without engaging with the world. We know that this is a big leap of faith. There is room for failure. But there is also room for greatness." These members were loyal to a vision of living their faith in the world that called them to go forth and do good works... even at personal risk. They looked to their UU tradition of social justice work as a beacon moving forward. They, too, saw themselves as stewards: stewards of the Unitarian Universalist faith.
Two different loyalties. Would you say either loyalty was misplaced?
[Leader: Invite some answers.]
The congregation engaged in deep conversations. Open houses were held at the city property and people met the neighbors. Budgets were examined and financial experts consulted. An outside moderator was brought in for the congregational meeting. Everyone wanted to keep the talks fair. It was proposed that they set up "pro" and "con" microphones for people to speak from the floor. But the congregation refused them. "There is no "us" and "them," they said. We are one congregation. But this one congregation had to decide on one loyalty. Would they be loyal to their church as it now existed or to a church living out its most difficult values in the world?
Guess what? Another loyalty emerged: They could be loyal to each other. After all, isn't that what a congregation really is? Not a building, not a set of abstract beliefs, but people living together every day, just trying to be the best people they can be?
Their loyalty to one another took the group through the process of discernment. Their loyalty made it impossible for them to shout hateful words at each other. Their loyalty kept most of the congregants at the table, wrestling with what was best for their church community. Finally, it came down to a vote: 123 voted to purchase the new property, 101 voted "no" and 151 did not vote. It was settled. The Unitarian Church of Harrisburg added a second church to their religious home.
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 12:
HANDOUT 1: BINGO GRID
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 12:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: BINGO CHIPS
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 12:
LEADER RESOURCE 2: LOYALTY DILEMMAS
Dilemma 1
It is the classic best friends' dilemma: Friend A has decided that a behavior of Friend B has become intolerable and they can no longer hang out or be friends with B. They tell you (Friend C) that if you want to continue to be their friend, you need to stop associating with Friend B, too. What do you do? What do you say immediately to Friend A? How do you answer Friend B when they ask you if you know why Friend A does not return their phone calls? Who do you invite to the movies or your birthday gathering? Who do you call first to share good news or bad?
Dilemma 2
You have played baseball for many years. After all the years of practice, you are on the starting team and your team has a good chance of making the playoffs. There is one problem: This season, the practice time conflicts with the meeting time for your congregation's youth group. You are one of the co-leaders of youth group this year. You cannot be in two places at once. What do you do?
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 12:
LEADER RESOURCE 3: MARKET STREET CHURCH
Photograph by Rev. Howard N. Dana; used with permission.
FIND OUT MORE
Good Character is a website with examples of ethical and moral dilemmas. One that concerns loyalty is David's story (at www.goodcharacter.com/dilemma/dilemma15.html).
In a blogpost (at www.fln.org/resourcing-blog/teaching-teens-part-1-loyalty/), a Christian religious educator of youth, Dan White, asks whether Christian youth are being taught loyalty to the Christian culture or to Jesus. His argument might hold interest to Unitarian Universalist youth. Challenge them to seek a parallel situation in our own faith.
Confucianism is heavily steeped in directives on living a virtuous life. Loyalty is one of the most important virtues to Confucius. Read more about this religion or philosophy at Patheos (at www.patheos.com/Library/Confucianism), a website that encourages understanding of different religious traditions.
Here is an article from Interconnections (at www.uua.org/leaders/leaderslibrary/leaderslibrary/interconnections/141805.shtml), a Unitarian Universalist publication, about the Unitarian Church of Harrisburg (Pennsylvania)'s purchase of new property.