SIGNS OF OUR FAITH
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Children
SESSION 6: SIGNS OF CARING
BY JESSICA YORK
© Copyright 2013 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 11/8/2014 12:48:52 PM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
SESSION OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. — Leo F. Buscaglia
As Unitarian Universalists, we believe members of communities take care of each other. This session identifies ways we care for others in our families, at school, in the congregation, and in the wider world. Children learn about the common Unitarian Universalist ritual of sharing our joys and concerns. Many congregations include Sharing of Joys and Concerns in worship. However, if your congregation call this ritual by a different name or conducts it in a different manner than is described in this session, replace the details with ones that fit your congregation. Feel free to include other rituals around caring that your congregation may practice.
GOALS
This session will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
SESSION-AT-A-GLANCE
Activity | Minutes |
Opening | 2 |
Activity 1: Joys and Concerns | 15 |
Activity 2: Story — This Morning... | 20 |
Activity 3: Candle Decorating | 20 |
Faith in Action: Celebration Kits | |
Closing | 3 |
Alternate Activity 1: Leadership in Action — Children's Caring Team | |
Alternate Activity 2: Skits | 20 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
Think about your childhood. Can you remember a time when a friend or a family member told you something important that was happening in their life? Did you understand that simply by listening, you showed that you cared? Letting others into our lives is not always easy. For some adults, it is much harder than when we were young. Feelings of vulnerability can sometimes prevent us from connecting heart to heart. If you have not had a recent opportunity to care for someone or receive another's care by sharing a joy or concern, seek such an opportunity. Consider using Activity 1, Joys and Concerns to do it. What joy or concern can you comfortably and appropriately share with the children that will deepen your connection to them?
SESSION PLAN
OPENING (2 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Welcome all participants. Gather everyone in a circle around the chalice table. Ring the centering chime. Ask a volunteer to light the chalice, and recite together:
We gather together as Unitarian Universalists and members of the Signs of Our Faith community.
Together to learn. Together to care for each other in good times and bad. Together to celebrate the traditions of our faith.
ACTIVITY 1: JOYS AND CONCERNS (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
The group participates in Sharing of Joys and Concerns.
Invite the group to share a time for joys and concerns. If this practice is unfamiliar to your congregation or the children, you might say:
As Unitarian Universalists, we believe it is important that we take care of each other. When we care for each other, our connections to each other become stronger. The interconnectedness of us all is part of our seventh Principle. Sharing good times and bad times helps us to be more caring people, and being caring people is one way we are UU every day.
Sometimes we share our good and bad times in a ritual during worship services. Sometimes this is called Joys and Concerns. "Joys" are things that have happened that make us happy; "concerns" are events that make us worried or sad. What are some of the reasons we share good and bad news with each other?
If participants do not suggest these, mention:
Ask participants to think for a moment:
Is there something that has happened to you recently that you would like to share with the group? It can be something you are happy about or something that makes you sad or concerned.
Give each child a battery-operated candle. Invite children to light a candle, place it near the chalice, and share their joy or concern with the group. Explain that each person may come up, one at a time, to light a candle and if they wish to speak aloud, say their joy or concern, and that after each person has shared, the group will sit in silence together for a few moments. Say:
Let's listen to each sharing in silence. Later, it is okay to talk to the person and offer support if you feel you can be helpful or congratulations if you wish.
Tell participants that if they do not want to say their joy or concern, that is fine. They are welcome to take a turn and light a candle in silence.
Go first to model sharing a brief joy or concern. Then encourage children to take turns. After everyone who wants to participate has shared, light one last candle and say:
This is for all the joys and concerns that we hold silently in our hearts.
Sit in silence for a moment. Then, process with these questions:
ACTIVITY 2: STORY — THIS MORNING... (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
The group hears a story about many different ways members of the congregation take care of each other.
Tell participants the story they are about to hear is full of different actions people take to care for each other. Then read or tell the story.
Then say that you will share the story again. This time, when someone in the story does a caring action, they may stand up (or raise a hand) and hold up a lighted candle. Pass out the LED, battery-operated candles used in Activity 1. Read the story slowly. Then, process the story with these questions:
Choose an example of a caring action from the story—for example, Kamal sharing his hymnbook with a visitor, or the baby's mother telling Kamal she was sorry his friend Abby was sick—and ask, "How do you think the person being cared for felt? How do you think the person felt who did the caring action?"
Invite the children to think of a time they helped somebody, in a big or small way, either here at the congregation or someplace else. Ask for volunteers to tell the group what they did and how it felt.
Affirm that you are glad that the participants are caring people.
Including All Participants
If standing will be difficult for any participants, ask the group to hold up their candles or shout, "I care!"
ACTIVITY 3: CANDLE DECORATING (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Children decorate "caring candles."
Say that the group will do something now that will be a sign to others in the congregation that the children care.
Indicate the supplies and invite participants to cut out shapes from the beeswax to decorate the candles, then press the shapes firmly to the candles until they stick.
While children work, ask them to think about how we all experience good times and bad times. Think about times when someone cared enough about them to celebrate good news or to be with them when they were sad or worried. Maybe these decorated care candles will help comfort the people who will light them during joys and concerns. Knowing the children decorated the candles especially to show caring may help people feel loved in the community and better connected to other members.
If you have arranged for children to present the candles during a worship service, help them articulate what they can say.
CLOSING (3 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Distribute stoles and invite participants to put them on.
Distribute Taking It Home. Tell participants that at the end of every session, they will receive this guide to fun activities they can do with family or friends. Read it aloud to give participants an idea of activities suggested.
Gather everyone in a circle around the chalice table. Lead the group to say:
We end as we began: together.
May we remember to be UU not just when we are together here, but every day and in every way.
Ask all participants to blow out the chalice together. Have them store their stoles in the place you have designated. Stoles should stay at the congregation and not go home with children.
FAITH IN ACTION: CELEBRATION KITS
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
The group helps congregants celebrate good times.
Often, after sharing has happened in Joys and Concerns, people focus on supporting congregants going through difficult times. This is good. Yet, it is also nice to know that others join you in celebrating happy events in your life. Children can help members of the congregation recognize one another's joys by creating celebration kits.
Ask the group for reasons why someone might light a candle of joy. These include births, adoptions, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, recovering from an illness or accident, getting accepted into a school or program, and getting a new job, among other joys.
Brainstorm low cost items the kit could include to help a person celebrate. Consider:
Children can create congratulation cards featuring balloons or smiley faces, with the message "Thanks for sharing your happiness!" inside.
Put together items in small gift bags and tie the bags with ribbon. Tell the children who will receive the kits, and if appropriate, engage their suggestions. Keep in mind that the group cannot make enough for every joy shared every week. Perhaps it is given to children who share a joy at a particular multigenerational worship service or to elders or people sharing during a service with an appropriate theme (caring, community, joy, etc.). If the congregation receives the idea of the kit well, perhaps a committee will undertake producing them regularly.
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
What went well in this session? What are some lessons to learn for next time? How did the children interact? Was the theme of the lesson communicated clearly? Remember always to spend time with your co-leader reviewing future sessions for activities needing long-term planning.
TAKING IT HOME
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. — Leo F. Buscaglia
IN TODAY'S SESSION... we lifted up caring for members of our community as a sign of being UU. We showed that we care about one another by doing a Unitarian Universalist ritual of Sharing Joys and Concerns. In this ritual, we have a chance to speak about how we feel and know we will be heard, and loved, and to listen to one another. The ritual of Sharing Joys and Concerns symbolizes how we take care of each other, in good times and bad. There are many other ways we take care of people in our congregation and in the other communities to which we belong.
EXPLORE THE TOPIC TOGETHER. Talk about... ways your family helps care for others in the congregation.
EXTEND THE TOPIC TOGETHER. Try... caring for your faith even when you are not at our congregation. Share ideas on how you could do this. Do you sing UU songs in the car? Do you say a grace to give thanks at meals? Do you light a chalice at home, or read stories by UU authors?
Family Adventure. One way to show caring for your UU community is to help care for the building where the congregation meets. Be family stewards of the building. Help host a family spruce up day. Think of jobs for people of all ages and abilities to do, so everyone has a chance to help take care of the building and grounds.
Family Discovery. Look for a new way to help take care of a family member. Maybe you can read a bedtime story to a younger sibling, or learn to make a parent's favorite beverage.
Family Ritual. Create a new caring ritual. Perhaps arriving home after religious education, your family lights a chalice and everyone shares at least one new thing they discovered about their faith today. This shows you care about learning about Unitarian Universalism. Or, try a new ritual to help people in your family pay attention to the caring that is already in your lives. Once a week, invite each family member to tell about a kind action they performed, a kind action they received, and a kind action they intend to perform in the coming week.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: LEADERSHIP IN ACTION — CHILDREN'S CARING TEAM
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants form a caring team.
Leadership in Action (LIA) activities provide opportunities for children to take the lead in an activity that engages with the congregation, and begin to see themselves as leaders in their faith.
Your congregation probably has a team or committee that cares for individuals and families when help is needed. Tell the children about this team. Ask if they would like to form a Caring Team for Kids. Brainstorm actions they can take to help kids who might need caring attention. For example:
Though they may not be able to prepare dinners, they can make up snack baskets. If some ideas are impractical, help the group adapt them into an idea with the same intent that is more realistic.
Engage some adults aside from parents to help the caring team. Have the group make name tags together or find their congregational name tags before hosting a caring event; team members of all ages can place heart stickers on their name tags to help people identify them.
Publicize the Children's Caring Team. Let the congregation know the ways the team can help care for children experiencing hard times. Assign two or more adults to keep alert for news about children and others who might welcome care from this team.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 2: SKITS (20 MINUTES)
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants perform skits of caring.
Invite the group to think about situations where someone has cared for them or they have cared for someone else. It can involve the congregation or other communities. Tell them they will have the opportunity to act out their examples. Ask them to raise their hand when they have an example. Call on the first child. Guide them to imagine their example as a play or skit. Invite them to choose other participants and assign them roles. Say that the child whose example will be performed is the "director;" the director should not have an acting role, and they must be sure to listen to the ideas of the children in the cast. Cast as many skits as you can. Make sure every child is involved with a skit, even if you have to add a character or two.
Bring each cast to a separate part of your meeting space, or to nearby spaces they can use to rehearse. Indicate where they can find costumes and props, and give them about five minutes for rehearsal.
Monitor rehearsals. Watch that the "directors" treat cast members with respect. You might remind children to show caring while working on a skit about caring. Also watch for stereotypical casting or behavior: Girls should not be the only ones needing help, boys can do more than lift and tote, and smaller, shyer children are not less able to demonstrate caring actions.
Reconvene the large group and let each cast present it skit. After each skit, lead the group to name who was helped and how.
SIGNS OF OUR FAITH: SESSION 6:
STORY: THIS MORNING...
At breakfast on Sunday, Kamal's mother reminded him that today it was their turn to be greeters at their congregation. Normally, Kamal loved greeting all the members and visitors who entered the building at his Unitarian Universalist congregation. It was fun to go early, be the first to arrive, and set up the greeter's table. Yet, today, he seemed less enthusiastic.
"What's wrong, Kamal?" his mother, Sherri asked.
"I was thinking about Abby. She won't be at the worship service today because she's still in the hospital. I'm going to miss her. This Sunday just won't be the same."
"I understand. It's hard to look forward to today when someone important to you is having a hard time. Would you like to sit this Sunday out? I can greet by myself, or ask someone else to help."
Kamal said, "No. People expect to see me there, so I better do it."
At the greeter's table, Kamal and his mother met with a smile every single person who came through the door. They answered questions from visitors. Kamal told a new little boy about the things he liked to do best at church. Sherri invited the boy's father to the next week's holiday party.
Dr. Reynolds brought a big vase of flowers she had arranged for the altar. Sherri held the door for her. Kamal picked up a flower that had fallen out and gave it to Dr. Reynolds. She asked him to pick a spot to put it back in the vase. "That's perfect, Kamal. I bet you would make a good flower arranger," she said. This made Kamal smile.
Sherri did not have to hold the door for Mr. Andrews. He waved "hello," then pushed the red button beside the automated door which opened for him to roll through in his wheelchair.
Everyone was busy. In the nursery, volunteers made sure there were diapers and wipes to take care of the babies. In the RE rooms, leaders were setting up supplies and snacks for their groups. In the sanctuary, the music director made sure the piano was in tune and a volunteer set up microphones, so everyone would be able to hear the service. Someone was making fresh coffee; they dumped the used coffee grounds and filters in the garden's compost bin.
When Kamal and Sherri sat down in the service, Kamal noticed that the visitors sitting beside them did not have a hymnbook. He offered to share his, so they could sing, too.
During worship, the service leader introduced the time for Sharing of Joys and Concerns. People lined up to light a candle and share important events in their lives. Kamal did not recognize the two women who went first. "This is our new son. We waited a long time for him to arrive from Russia, and it was worth it!" they said. Kamal whispered to his mother "We light candles for both joys and concerns, right? Could I light a candle for Abby?"
Kamal and Sherri approached the altar. Kamal said, into the microphone, "This candle is for my friend, Abby. She is sick and in the hospital, so she couldn't come today. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers." And then he added, "And her family, too, so they don't worry too much." After the last candle, the minister calls for a moment of silence.
After worship, Kamal went to see the new baby. One of the baby's mothers let Kamal hold him, but then the baby began to cry and Kamal handed him back. The mother sang softly to quiet the baby. Then she said, "Kamal, we are sorry to hear about your friend. We hope she can come home from the hospital soon."
"Thanks," Kamal said. "I hope so too!" He realized that other people knew how it feels to have a friend who is sick, and he was glad he had shared. He thought to himself, "Next time, maybe I will have a 'joy' to share, and that will feel nice, too."
SIGNS OF OUR FAITH: SESSION 6:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: ILLUSTRATION - GREETING
Illustration by Ginger Wyatt.
Download a high-resolution PDF (at www.uua.org/documents/tapestry/signs/greeting.pdf) for printing.
FIND OUT MORE
Generation On, an affiliate of the multi-city Hands On Network, has a Kids Care Club website (at www.kidscare.org/) that lists service projects appropriate for young people to expand their circle of caring out into the world.
To help children becoming caring individuals, we need to develop their compassion and empathy. Hear a TED (Technology, Entertainment, and Design) by Buddhist teacher Joan Halifax (at www.ted.com/talks/joan_halifax.html) on the nature of compassion and why we must cultivate it in our children.
The UUA's Tapestry of Faith curricula offer many activities and reflections to develop caring, compassion, and empathy. Look in Moral Tales (Session 8, Do Unto Others (at www.uua.org/re/tapestry/children/tales/session8/index.shtml)), Toolbox of Faith (Session 13, Love (at www.uua.org/re/tapestry/children/toolbox/session13/index.shtml)), and the three children's curricula whose themes are love: Love Surrounds Us (at www.uua.org/re/tapestry/children/lovesurrounds/index.shtml), Love Will Guide Us (at www.uua.org/re/tapestry/children/loveguide/index.shtml), and Love Connects Us (at www.uua.org/re/tapestry/children/loveconnects/index.shtml).