LOVE SURROUNDS US
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Children
SESSION 5: LOVE SURROUNDS US WITHOUT BOUNDARIES
BY LYNN KERR AND CHRISTY OLSON
© Copyright 2010 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 11/8/2014 5:25:48 AM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
SESSION OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
We all know that families now aren't necessarily like Ozzie and Harriet (it turns out Ozzie and Harriet's family wasn't all Ozzie and Harriet)... family has a traditional context, but today it's not as simple as two parents with 2-3 kids... it's about relationships... it's about people who are bound together by love and a sense of being responsible for one another... it's spouses with no children, like Jeffrey and me... it's a group of women who meet to cook dinner together once a month... it's a one-parent family with adopted children... it's two men who've made a life together... at the end of the day, all we have is love... getting love, but even more, feeling love... — Ina Garten, chef and cookbook author
We believe all people should be treated fairly, without racial, cultural, socioeconomic or territorial boundaries—the UU second Principle. This session embraces all families on their daily journeys into beloved community: Love without boundaries.
Participants affirm all families through the story and activities. Families self-define, and some are marginalized when their definition is not fully acknowledged in the dominant culture. One example is same-sex couples and their children in states that do not yet recognize the right of equal marriage for all.
Families are the building blocks of all beloved communities. The Faith In Action activity invites the congregation to outreach to the local community in a unique way as families make puzzles and share them with people in the neighborhood. It is one way to let people know that Unitarian Universalists accept all families.
GOALS
This session will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
SESSION-AT-A-GLANCE
Activity | Minutes |
Welcoming and Entering | 0 |
Opening | 10 |
Activity 1: Who Lives with Me? | 15 |
Activity 2: Story — Love Without Boundaries | 20 |
Activity 3: Meditation on Breathing | 10 |
Faith in Action: The Family Puzzle Multigenerational Event | |
Closing | 5 |
Alternate Activity 1: Beloved Community Family Picture Collage | 20 |
Alternate Activity 2: Poster — Second Principle | 10 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
Truly feeling love without boundaries is a wonderful feeling. Close your eyes and visualize a place where you feel love without boundaries. Breathe deeply and add people to the place. Who are the people that help you feel love without boundaries? How is that love expressed? Do words or actions best express love without boundaries? Open your eyes. Say aloud. "I promise to provide love without boundaries to the participants in this group today."
SESSION PLAN
WELCOMING AND ENTERING
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Use this activity when children arrive individually—that is, straggle in—before the session begins. It emphasizes the second Principle.
Welcome each child as they enter. Invite them to take their ribbon stick from the container by the door, move to the large group area, and find the orange ribbons on their ribbon sticks.
Including All Participants
Give a ribbon stick to any new child or visitor and write their name on it.
Provide wrist ribbons for children who are physically unable to wave a ribbon stick. Help attach wrist ribbons to wrists, legs, or fingers according to the mobility of the child.
OPENING (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Invite children to find their ribbon sticks and then come sit together. Welcome the children.
Optional: Lead the group to sing the song "Love Surrounds Me."
Have each child say their name and wave their ribbon stick above their head. Remind them that they will learn all the UU Principles and that each Principle will have a different color. Remind them that orange represents the second Principle. Have them find the orange ribbon and say the Principle together: "We believe all people should be treated fairly." Say, in your own words:
Today we will talk about the love and care in all kinds of families. Just like the colors on our ribbons sticks are different, so are our families.
Ask participants if anyone can remember the first Principle (We believe each and every person is important). Ask if they remember what color we assigned to the first Principle (red).
Do the opening chant together:
Group chants "Love surrounds us everyday. The Principles show us the way."
Leader says "______ please, put your ribbons away." (Child named returns their ribbon stick.)
Guide children, as they are named, to return their ribbon stick to the container and then return to the circle. This is a way to acknowledge the presence of each participant. If the group is large, say only several names, then direct the others to put away their ribbon sticks all together.
When all ribbon sticks are returned and children are in the circle, light the chalice. Lead the group to say together:
Love surrounds the chalice and we are included by the light of the chalice.
Including All Participants
Help attach wrist ribbons (Session 1, Opening) to children's wrists, legs, or fingers, and later, help remove them, if any children are physically unable to use a ribbon stick.
ACTIVITY 1: WHO LIVES WITH ME? (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants identify who lives with them.
Gather participants around tables with paper in front of them and coloring implements to share. Say these or similar words:
Today we are going to talk about who lives with you. Let's pretend the four sides of the paper are like the walls of where you live. It may be an apartment, a room, a duplex, a condo, or a house. Everyone's home is different.
Close your eyes and think of the people who live in your house. (Pause.) Now open your eyes and draw a picture of all the people that live in your house. When you are finished, we will share our pictures.
When all have finished, process with these questions:
Make sure all participants who wish to share have a chance.
Including All Participants
Be alert for clues that a family is separated, such as by divorce or travel. Be open to the child's responses and look for ways to acknowledge the uniqueness of their family. Emphasize that a house can hold a family but that many families are still a family when some of their members live in another place.
ACTIVITY 2: STORY, LOVE WITHOUT BOUNDARIES (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants experience the story in a calm, fun way that emphasizes some story details.
Ask participants to sit on the blankets or towels. Ask if they have ever been to a family picnic. Explain that the story today is about different kinds of families at a picnic.
Read the story and process with these questions:
ACTIVITY 3: MEDITATION ON BREATHING (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Through breath, children work with the image of love coming into us and going out to others.
Ask participants to spread out and sit up tall. Sing the entire chant with the participants several times. Process using these questions:
Now add actions. With hands to the side begin the song. Raise hands for the first two phrases with hands meeting overhead on the word peace. Lower hands to shoulder height for the third phrase. Move hands creatively while chanting the last phrase.
If time allows, ask two older participants to sing the lower melody as participants breathe in and breathe out. Process the meditation using these questions:
Affirm positive answers. End by saying that participants can try and think of this meditation during difficult times in a family, such as when siblings are fighting.
Including All Participants
Tell the group it is fine to do the movements in a way that feels comfortable for their body. Humming the tune or simply breathing in and out while others chant is a good adaptation.
CLOSING (5 MINUTES)
Description of Activity
Invite everyone to gather in a circle and hold hands. Start by squeezing the hand to your right and saying: "Today I found love, today I gave love." Lead the group to move the hand squeeze around the circle until everyone has had a chance to say the words.
Then, invite the group to unclasp hands lead them to say the closing words in unison:
Be good to yourself.
Be excellent to others.
Do everything with love.
Including All Participants
If participants do not want to hold hands, invite them to just say the words to the person to their right. If needed, repeat the words aloud with each child.
FAITH IN ACTION: THE FAMILY PUZZLE MULTIGENERATIONAL EVENT
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This activity connects congregational families to families in the community with whom they may not usually interact. This is an opportunity to engage congregational members in spreading the word about Unitarian Universalism. Talk about the ways our faith affirms all families.
When participants are gathered, ask that each family hold hands to form a line. Begin singing "Love Surrounds Me." Children will know the song and others will catch on quickly. Start with one linked family. Make a snake through the room as you sing. Ask the other families to catch the end person's hand and join the snake until all families are connected. Circle the room again and sing the entire song.
Stop and release hands. Ask participants to sit at tables in groups of two families. Say, in your own words:
Families are the center of our beloved communities. Today we are going to make puzzles of our families. Then we will take the puzzles apart and put them in envelopes. We will give them to families we haven't met yet. We will include information about our faith community and invite them to visit.
Invite each small group to choose a theme for their blank puzzle. It has 12 pieces in the middle that are 4 inches square and other pieces that form a border. Take the middle 12 pieces out and have each person color one piece. If any pieces are left, some people can color several. If there aren't enough pieces, two people can color together.
Tell the group:
When you have completely colored all the middle pieces, put them in the envelope. Now you should have just the border pieces. You might write an invitation to the next multigenerational event at our congregation. You may want to color a decorative border. Work together as families to design a special border and color the puzzle. As a piece is finished, put it in the envelope. When you are finished with all your pieces, take them out and put your puzzle together.
After families have completed and tested their puzzles, invite them to return all the puzzle pieces to the envelope and add the outreach information you have gathered about Unitarian Universalism and your congregation.
Give each family a copy of the outreach letter (Leader Resource 1) and ask them to sign their first names at the bottom. Some families may want to go now and take the envelope to people in the neighborhood. Another possibility is for one family to make all the deliveries.
Process with these questions:
Invite participants to sing "Love Surrounds Me."
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
What did you learn about the families of the participants today? Can you identify those that are hurting or feeling different? How can you surround this participant and family in love in the week to come? Notify the religious educator or minister about any issues that may arise.
TAKING IT HOME
We all know that families now aren't necessarily like Ozzie and Harriet (it turns out Ozzie and Harriet's family wasn't all Ozzie and Harriet)... family has a traditional context, but today it's not as simple as two parents with 2-3 kids... it's about relationships... it's about people who are bound together by love and a sense of being responsible for one another... it's spouses with no children, like Jeffrey and me... it's a group of women who meet to cook dinner together once a month... it's a one-parent family with adopted children... it's two men who've made a life together... at the end of the day, all we have is love... getting love, but even more, feeling love... — Ina Garten, chef and cookbook author
IN TODAY'S SESSION... the participants talked about love and families in the context of the second Principle, "all people should be treated fairly." They drew who lives in their house and talked about whom they consider family. They heard a story about the diversity of families and how each family is unique and surrounded by love. Participants learned a breathing meditation to help them visualize love.
EXPLORE THE TOPIC TOGETHER. Talk about... love without boundaries within families, using the questions below that apply.
EXTEND THE TOPIC TOGETHER. Try... spending one more hour a week together as a family. You might invite another family to join yours for an activity suggested below.
Family Adventure. No-cost family events are the best. Take a family walk around your community. How are the families in your community diverse? Do you find any families that need help? Did a family lose an animal you can help locate? Does someone need help with yard work?
Family Discovery. The Families with Purpose (at www.familieswithpurpose.com/) website offers games, recipes, activities, and science for families. Books to read aloud as a family include
The Education of Little Tree by Forrest Carter (University of New Mexico Press, 2001); A Gathering of Days -- A New England Girl's Journal 1830-32 by Joan W. Blos (Atheneum, 1990); The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis (Harper-Festival, 2008); Rules by Cynthia Lord (Scholastic Paperback, 2008), a Newberry Award book about a family with an autistic child; Espernaza Rising by Pam Munzo Ryan (Blue Sky Press, 2002), about an immigrant family; The Watsons Go To Birmingham — 1963 by Christopher Paul Curtis (Laurel Leaf, 2000), the story of an African American family during a key year in the Civil Rights movement.
A Family Ritual. Rituals bring families together. At bedtime, before reading aloud together, fill a clear bowl with water. Bless the water by saying together "Love surrounds us in the air we breathe, the water we drink, and time we spend together." After reading a book aloud, take turns dipping fingers in the water and touching the water to your forehead. Use the words "Blessings on your day."
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: BELOVED COMMUNITY FAMILY PICTURE COLLAGE (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants and others from your congregation share their family pictures.
Gather participants. Ask each participant to share their pictures. Process each picture with these questions:
When everyone has shared a picture, gather at the board display. Invite participants to put removable glue on the back of their pictures and make a collage. Edges of the pictures may touch but not overlap; this will keep glue from ruining photos. As participants finish, help them add pictures provided by others in the congregation. As you work, use these wonder statements to spark conversation:
When all the pictures are placed in the collage, invite participants to stand back, look at the collage, and say together, "Families are important in our beloved community."
Including All Participants
Physically challenged participants may need help attaching their photos to the collage.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 2: POSTER, SECOND PRINCIPLE (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Distribute the handout. Invite children to think about an example they can draw of the second Principle. Say the second Principle together: "We believe all people should be treated fairly."
Use these "I wonder" statements as participants color. Pause after each statement. Children may or may not interact as they are coloring.
LOVE SURROUNDS US: SESSION 5:
STORY: LOVE WITHOUT BOUNDARIES
"I don't want to go," said six-year-old Ruben, with his hands placed firmly on his hips.
"Don't want to go where?" Ruben's dad, Nic, asked as he rolled back on his heels from where he was kneeling in the rose bed.
"To the family playground picnic," Ruben said.
"I thought you wanted to see all your playground friends. We just baked cookies and made the sandwiches," his father said.
"We're not going because everyone will be there with their families," said Ruben. "Jason who lives down the street has two big brothers, a sister, and a mom. Our family does not have a mom and I do not have sisters and brothers so we can't go. We aren't a real family," he continued.
"Hmmm," said Nic, standing up. "Let's sit on the garden bench and talk."
Ruben sat on the wrought iron bench he and his dad had picked out for the garden. Ruben snuggled into his father's arms and felt safe.
"Ruben," said his father, "It sounds like you are worried about what others think. We are a family and so are the others you mentioned. There are all kinds of families. Let's go to the playground and see what we notice about how different and the same families are."
"Do we have to?" Ruben asked.
"Yes, we do," said Nic.
Later that afternoon, Ruben and Nic walked down to the playground on Besta Street. Ruben's dad carried the picnic basket and Ruben carried the red picnic blanket. Ruben peeked through the playground fence. The playground was busy with a lot of people, some he knew and others he didn't.
"Do we have to go?" Ruben tried one more time.
"Yes," Ruben's dad said.
They spread the picnic blanket on the ground by a newly planted tree. Ruben munched on a cheese sandwich while he looked over the crowd.
There was Hannah and her grandma and grandpa. Hannah and her brother, Jake, were living with her grandparents while their parents served in the military overseas. Hannah and Ruben like to swing high on the swing set.
A mom helped a set of triplets get a drink of water at the water fountain. They were in kindergarten and not quite tall enough to reach the spigot. Her name was Nancy and she brought the triplets to the playground each day when she was working at home. Sometimes Nancy flew to Hong Kong and other places for work and then the babysitter, Cassandra, brought the triplets to play.
Ralph, Ruben's best playground friend, came running over and yelled, "Hey, Ruben, I want you to meet my dads!"
"Dads?" asked Ruben. "How did you get two?"
"Just lucky," said Ralph. "That's why I'm so super at baseball. If one of my dads gets tired out, there's another one to take my wild pitches." Ralph acted out his very unique way of pitching a baseball, which involved multiple steps in a circle and a rotating arm. He looked a little like a windmill going crazy.
Ruben's dad smiled at Ralph's antics as he shook hands with both of Ralph's dads named Marcello and Clyde.
"Nice to meet you," Nic said. "I often wish that I had the energy of two for following around Ruben."
Just then the playground director, Ginny, came by and said, "Hey, everyone, games start in ten minutes. I hope you are ready to throw some water balloons."
Ralph started to warm up his pitch and everyone stepped back two steps, hoping not to get hit by a swinging arm.
Later that night Ruben and his dad walked home in silence. As they entered their yard, they sat down on the wrought iron bench. Nic waited as the stars twinkled and the bullfrog in the pond sang to them. Finally he asked the question.
"So, Ruben, what did you learn tonight?"
Ruben took a deep breath and launched into his answer.
"I learned that all families are different. And I learned that all families can have fun and I learned that sometimes you have to do things you are not sure will turn out okay."
"Good job," said Nic, "but there's one other message I'd like you to learn about tonight."
Ruben thought and thought. Finally, Nic said, "Look at that rose bush. It's growing. What does it need to grow?"
"The rose needs water and sun and dirt," said Ruben, not quite sure of the connection between the rose bush and families.
"The rose needs love, too," said Nic, gently. "Even with the basics, the rose still needs weeding and fertilizing and mulching to keep it safe."
"I get it, Dad," exclaimed Ruben. "Love grows all kinds of families!"
"You got it, Ruben. No matter the color, shape, or size of a family, love helps it grow."
LOVE SURROUNDS US: SESSION 5:
HANDOUT 1: POSTER, SECOND PRINCIPLE
Unitarian Universalist Second Principle
We believe all people should be treated fairly.
LOVE SURROUNDS US: SESSION 5:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: FAMILY OUTREACH LETTER
Dear Neighbor,
Your family is important to us at (name of your congregation).
We believe families are an important part of building strong communities.
Several families worked together to make this puzzle for you. We hope that your family will put it together. The message it brings is from our families to your family.
You are welcome at our faith community and if you have a need, please let us know. Our services are (add regular days and times of worship). We invite you to come worship with us.
The enclosed materials are to help you learn more about us. We hope to meet you soon.
Sincerely,
(names of co-leaders or other congregational outreach contact(s))
(your congregation's name, location, phone number, and website)
FIND OUT MORE
Talking with Children about Death
About Death: A Unitarian Universalist Book for Kids (at www.uuabookstore.org/productdetails.cfm?PC=1663). About Death presents a gentle, yet unsentimental, story about how a family deals with the death of their beloved dog. The story is followed by a series of questions a child might pose about death and its aftermath, particularly the rituals and cultural customs that accompany the death of a person. The answers to these questions, like the story that proceeds them, are frank and respectful of the child's curiosity. At the same time, both the story and the questions are illustrated by lovely watercolors that say, without words, yes, death makes us sad. A short poem that follows reminds us that death is a part of life. Ages 5 and up.
Unitarian Universalist Family Resources
The Unitarian Universalist Association (at www.uua.org/) website offers a resource page (at www.uua.org/religiouseducation/families/index.shtml) dedicated to families and various issues such as Unitarian Universalist faith development, rituals to use at home, adoption, and how to talk with children about death and loss.