LOVE SURROUNDS US
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Children
SESSION 4: FORGIVENESS
BY LYNN KERR AND CHRISTY OLSON
© Copyright 2010 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 11/8/2014 5:23:37 AM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
SESSION OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. — Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
This session introduces the second Principle, all people should be treated fairly, and through this teach what it means to forgive. Kindergarten and first grade children will have experienced some form of forgiveness, either in the forgiving or being forgiven when they have said or heard, "I'm sorry." In Hebrew scripture, the story of Joseph tells of family forgiveness that takes time. Forgiveness is seen as difficult and much needed in family life.
Participants may shares stories about conflicts that have a "winner" and a "loser" and/or lack forgiveness. If you have the opportunity, note that treating people fairly does necessarily mean treating everyone the same. Emphasize that fairness is important but treating everyone exactly the same does not always make things fair, and is often not possible. Help children understand that while it is possible to spend one's entire life focused on unfairness, a healthier alternative is to acknowledge unfairness, model fairness, then forgive and move on.
GOALS
This session will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
SESSION-AT-A-GLANCE
Activity | Minutes |
Welcoming and Entering | 0 |
Opening | 10 |
Activity 1: Connections Sewing Cards | 20 |
Activity 2: Story — A Journey of Forgiveness: Joseph and His Brothers | 15 |
Activity 3: Forgiveness Fun Game | 10 |
Faith in Action: Forgiveness Project | |
Closing | 5 |
Alternate Activity 1: Heart Ribbon Magnet | 5 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
Forgiveness can be such a painful emotion for adults. Name the members of your family. Think of a time you needed to forgive. Think about the people and situation. Why did you feel the need to forgive? Are their times you need to ask for forgiveness? Think about how it feels to be truly forgiven by another. Celebrate the gift of forgiveness in your life by drawing a heart on paper and holding the paper to your heart. Breathe deeply and believe in the power of forgiveness.
SESSION PLAN
WELCOMING AND ENTERING
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Use this activity when children arrive individually—that is, straggle in—before the session begins. It emphasizes the second Principle.
Welcome each child as they enter. Invite them to take their ribbon stick from the container by the door, move to the large group area, and find the orange ribbons on their ribbon sticks.
Including All Participants
Give a ribbon stick to any new participant or visitor and write their name on it.
Provide wrist ribbons for children who are physically unable to wave a ribbon stick. Help attach wrist ribbons to wrists, legs, or fingers according to the mobility of the child.
OPENING (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Invite children to find their ribbon sticks and then come sit together. Welcome the children.
Optional: Lead the group to sing the song "Love Surrounds Me."
Have each child say their name and wave their ribbon stick above their head. Remind them that they will learn all the UU Principles and that each Principle will have a different color. Introduce orange as the color that represents the second Principle. Have them find the orange ribbon and say the Principle together: "We believe all people should be treated fairly."
Ask participants if anyone can remember the first Principle (We believe each and every person is important). Ask if they remember what color we assigned to the first Principle (red).
Do the opening chant together:
Group chants "Love surrounds us everyday. The Principles show us the way."
Leader says "______ please, put your ribbons away." (Child named returns their ribbon stick.)
Guide children, as they are named, to return their ribbon stick to the container and then return to the circle. This is a way to acknowledge the presence of each participant. If the group is large, say only several names, then direct the others to put away their ribbon sticks all together.
When all ribbon sticks are returned and children are in the circle, light the chalice. Lead the group to say together:
Love surrounds the chalice and we are included by the light of the chalice.
Including All Participants
Help attach wrist ribbons (Session 1, Opening) to children's wrists, legs, or fingers, and later, help remove them, if any children are physically unable to use a ribbon stick.
ACTIVITY 1: CONNECTIONS SEWING CARDS (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants connect themselves to families and friends with yarn to demonstrate how love and forgiveness surround them.
Gather participants together at work tables or on the floor. Pass out crayons and markers. Pass out Handout 1, but ask participants to wait until you explain the activity.
Say:
I wonder who your friends and family are. (Pause.) Where are some of the places that you have friends and family? Today we are going to make cards that show some of the people in our world. First we'll draw and then we'll connect all the drawings. Begin with the oval in the middle. There you will draw yourself and place your name. Let's do that now.
Offer to help children write their names, if they wish.
Then say:
Next we will draw pictures in the rectangles to show people in our lives. It can be families or teachers, friends or neighbors. You choose who you draw. Fill as many rectangles as you wish. Then we will do some sewing.
As participants finish, affirm their drawings. Ask about the people or places they drew.
Explain that they are going to try to connect themselves with each of the squares on the edges using yarn. Demonstrate sewing from the middle oval to a rectangle and then back to the middle and to another rectangle. Allow participants to sew on their own. There is not a right or wrong way to sew this. No matter which connections they make, it will still illustrate that love surrounds them through people connections.
If participants run out of yarn, tie a new piece of yarn onto the end. The most difficult part will be when participants try to pull the yarn too tight.
Instead of yarn, you can use pipe cleaners. Show children how to use one pipe cleaner for each connection. Bend the ends of the pipe cleaners into the holes and tape them on the back of the card.
Process this activity using these questions:
Including All Participants
For the youngest participants, sewing might be a new endeavor. To keep frustration levels down, punch more holes and let them just sew in and out of whichever holes they wish. More holes will eliminate the long pieces of yarn that may get tangled. If a child lacks the fine motor capability to sew, work directly with them; invite them to tell you how they want the rectangles and the oval connected and do the stitching for them.
ACTIVITY 2: STORY, JOURNEY OF FORGIVENESS, JOSEPH AND HIS BROTHERS (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This story and activity will help participants understand how long it sometimes takes for forgiveness to happen in the world.
Gather participants in the large group area. Have the story, process questions, and signs nearby.
Read the story "A Journey of Forgiveness: Joseph and His Brothers."
Following the story, process with these questions.
ACTIVITY 3: FORGIVENESS FUN GAME (10 MINUTES)
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This adaptation of the game Red Light, Green Light gives participants a chance to relax while saying the words "I forgive you" and "You are forgiven."
Explain the game: One person, designated "It" or "the stoplight," faces away from the rest of the group. The group lines up as far as they can get from the stoplight. When the stoplight yells "Forgiveness" all participants can move forward. As they move they say, "We forgive you." This will help the stoplight hear when participants get closer. The stoplight can turn around and yell, "Stop!" at anytime to stop the movement forward. The stoplight should wait until all others have stopped moving forward, then turn away from the group again, saying, "Forgiveness." The first player to touch the stoplight gets to be the next stoplight.
Process the game after several times. Ask participants:
Including All Participants
Participants with accessibility issues can use whatever form of movement works best for them. When the age span is great, it helps to have the stoplight ("It") or a leader vary the movement actions forward. Skipping, hopping, jumping or galloping will all work.
CLOSING (5 MINUTES)
Description of Activity
Invite everyone to gather in a circle and hold hands. Start by squeezing the hand to your right and saying: "Today I found love, today I gave love." Lead the group to move the hand squeeze around the circle until everyone has had a chance to say the words.
Then, invite the group to unclasp hands lead them to say the closing words in unison:
Be good to yourself.
Be excellent to others.
Do everything with love.
Including All Participants
If participants do not want to hold hands, invite them to just say the words to the person to their right. If needed, repeat the words aloud with each child.
FAITH IN ACTION: FORGIVENESS PROJECT
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This activity introduces the Forgiveness Project and helps them to collect money to send to the project.
Watch the two-minute video together called "Archbishop Desmond Tutu endorses the Forgiveness Project." Use these questions to process:
Play the video one more time after the discussion.
Give older participants a Giving Box Pattern. Allow younger participants to make boxes you have precut. Ask children to use coloring materials and stickers to decorate the box. Cut the slot for the coin drop. Tape the box together tightly. Put pre-printed mailing labels on the boxes.
Pass out parent notes that read.
Dear Parents,
We are learning about Desmond Tutu and the Forgiveness Project. This project helps victims and perpetrators have the courage to choose forgiveness. Stories are shared of those who choose forgiveness. An exhibit is being made to tell the stories of forgiveness. Please help me earn a few coins this week through extra chores or collecting cans for recycling. The money goes in my giving box to share with the Forgiveness Project.
Sincerely,
(Co-leaders' names)
Including All Participants
For a young group or for children with fine-motor challenges, you can pre-assemble the Giving Boxes for children to decorate with stickers and the mailing labels.
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
What did you learn about the participants' willingness, or not, to forgive others in their lives? Can you identify those that are hurting or feeling different? Take note of what worked well and what can be done differently next time. Notify the religious educator or minister about any issues that may arise.
TAKING IT HOME
We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. (One) who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. — Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
IN TODAY'S SESSION... the children talked about forgiveness. Forgiveness is an action surrounded by love, both in forgiving and being forgiven, and the family is where forgiveness is first learned. Forgiveness is under-represented in the media; five- and six-year-olds may be more familiar with revenge, winning, and "I'm better" attitudes. The UU second Principle (We believe all people should be treated fairly) brings us the venue to discuss forgiveness. The group heard the Hebrew scripture story about Joseph forgiving his brothers. They talked about how difficult it is to forgive others. They played a game to practice saying "I forgive you."
EXPLORE THE TOPIC TOGETHER. Talk about...
Share which you think is stronger, love or unfairness.
EXTEND THE TOPIC TOGETHER. Write the word FORGIVENESS across the top of piece of paper. Work together to think of places where forgiveness needs to happen, one place for each letter. Start with F for FAMILY.
A Family Adventure. Visit a history museum. Read the stories aloud and talk about situations that might need forgiveness.
Family Discovery. Books about fairness for preschool and early elementary children include Being Fair by Cassie Mayer (Heinemann Educational Books, 2007); Zapizapu Crosses the Sea: A Story About Being Fair by Diane Abad Vergara (Trafford Publishing, 2007); Ser Justo/Being Fair (Spanish) by Robin Nelson (Lerner Group, 2005); Thank You God!: A Jewish Child's Book of Prayers by Judyth Groner (Kar-Ben Publishing , 2003); Let's Talk About Being Fair: An Early Social Skills Book by Joy Wilt Berry (Gold Star Publishing, 2000).
Children in upper elementary grades can read Being Fair: A Book About Fairness by Mary Small (Picture Window Books, 2006).
Family resources for parents to read include Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Journey to Change the World... One Child at a Time by Sarah Thomson and Greg Mortenson (Puffin Books, 2009) and Once Upon a Time... Storytelling to Teach Character and Prevent Bullying by Elisa Davy Pearmain (Character Development Group, 2006). Also explore the audio CD, Free to Be ... a Family.
A Family Game. Online, find the game Forgive and Forget (at www.ldssplash.com/)—a great family game using cards. Look under Family Home Evening, FHE Games and then scroll to "Forgive and Forget."
A Family Ritual. End the day by saying to one another, "Good rest, may you forgive everyone who hurt you today. May you feel the joy of forgiving."
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: HEART RIBBON MAGNET (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This activity connects the color orange and the second Principle as children work on their Heart Ribbon Magnets—a reminder of the UU Principles they may take home at the close of the program.
Invite children to find the Heart Ribbon Magnets they began in Session 2. Distribute lengths of orange ribbon. Tell the children the orange ribbon represents the second UU Principle, "We believe all people should be treated fairly." Demonstrate how to fold a length of orange ribbon in half, push the folded end into the hole on the side of the heart next to the red ribbon, and insert the two loose ends of orange ribbon through the loop formed by the folded end. Pull the orange ribbon through tightly.
Help any new children or visitors begin a Heart Ribbon Magnet, following instructions in Session 2, Alternate Activity 1, and add both red and orange ribbons.
Set aside the magnets and remaining colors of ribbon for future sessions.
Including All Participants
Partner very young children with an older child who can help them.
LOVE SURROUNDS US: SESSION 4:
STORY: A JOURNEY OF FORGIVENESS, JOSEPH AND HIS BROTHERS
By Janeen Grohsmeyer.
Have you ever felt as if some grown-ups liked another kid more than they liked you? Maybe your teacher lets someone else get away with stuff you would get in trouble for. Maybe your mom or dad doesn't make your brother or sister do as much work as you have to do. Or your brother or your sister gets to stay up later than you, or they have more toys. Or your grandparents pay attention to the baby and ignore you.
It's not fair.
Sometimes, when we feel as if someone else is getting special treatment, when they're the teacher's pet or the parent's favorite, we get angry. We get angry at the grown-up for not being fair, and we get angry at the other kid for being the favorite one.
Once, a long time ago in a land called Canaan, there lived a man named Jacob. He had four wives and thirteen children: one girl and twelve boys. Wow! That's a lot of kids. Do any of you have 12 brothers and sisters? It might be hard to remember all the names. Jacob's boys' names were Joseph, Rueben, Naphtali (Naf-TAL-ee), Issachar (IS-sah-khar), Dan, Gad, Zebulum, Judah, Benjamin, Asher, Levi, and Simeon (SIM-ee-on). These brothers became the leaders of the 12 Tribes of Israel in the Hebrew world. I have flags with each brother's name to remind us how important the 12 brothers were to the Hebrew people.
(Leader: Distribute the flags to volunteers. Say the names so non-readers will know which flag they are holding. Invite them to hold up the flags when you say the brothers' names later in the story.)
Of those four wives, Jacob loved Rachel the best. Of those thirteen children, Jacob loved Rachel's two sons, Benjamin and Joseph, the best. Joseph was the favorite one.
And his sister and his brothers all knew it. They knew their father liked Joseph best. At meal times, their father let Joseph sit next to him and eat the best food. During the day, their father let Joseph stay in the tent and while they all had to go farm in the fields or take care of the sheep.
Their father even gave Joseph a beautiful coat to wear. It had long sleeves and was finely woven with shimmering colors. Whenever Joseph wore it—and he wore it all the time—everyone stopped and turned to look at him. Because in those days, long ago, clothes took a long time to make, and they were very expensive. Most people only had one set of clothes, and they were usually brown, or maybe grey or black. Nobody except the very richest people had blue or green or red or yellow clothes. Nobody except Joseph, that is. He had a coat that was all those colors, and more. I wonder how you would feel if you had a beautiful coat with long sleeves like Joseph.
So Joseph knew he was his father's favorite. He knew he was special. He even had special dreams, dreams that told the future. He told his eleven brothers about one of his dreams. "I dreamt that we were in the field harvesting the corn, and your eleven sheaves of corn all turned and bowed to mine."
The brothers didn't like hearing this. Who can wave their flag and help us remember all the brother's names?
(Leader: Help and encourage the children to say the names on the flags.)
Well, the brothers didn't want to bow down to Joseph. They didn't like Joseph. They were jealous of him. They were angry at him.
They seemed to hate him.
One day, when Joseph was seventeen years old, he went to the fields where his brothers were taking care of the sheep. As always, he was wearing his beautiful coat of many colors. His brothers grabbed him, tore his coat off, and shoved him into a pit. "Let's kill him," said one brother.
"No," said another. "We can't kill our own brother. Let's sell him as a slave."
And so Benjamin, Asher, Levi, Simeon, Judah, Dan, Zebulum, Gad, Rueben, Issachar, and Naphatali sold Joseph to slave traders for twenty pieces of silver. Then the brothers dipped Joseph's beautiful coat in the blood of a goat and ripped it all up. They took the bloody coat back to their father, Jacob, and told him, "Joseph has been killed by a wild animal."
But Joseph wasn't dead. The slave traders made him march for days, on a long journey to the land of Egypt, and there they sold him as a slave. People ordered him around all the time, and sometimes they would hit him. Joseph had never been treated like that before; he'd always been the favorite one. And Joseph had never had to work very hard before; his father had let him stay in their tent. Joseph wondered if he could ever forgive his brothers for selling him.
What do you think? Is it hard to forgive brothers and sisters?
But Joseph did what they told him to. He did the work well, and he didn't complain. His owner noticed and began treating him better. But after a while his owner got angry with him and put him in jail.
Joseph certainly wasn't the favorite one now. Not only was he a slave, he was a slave in jail. Joseph sat in that jail, day after day after day, alone and forgotten. Sometimes, he would wonder about his father and his sister and his eleven brothers. Was his father still alive? Did his sister still like to weave cloth? Did his brothers still farm the fields and take care of sheep? Had any of them married and had children?
Joseph didn't know. And he wanted to. Earlier, when his brothers had sold him into slavery, Joseph had been very angry with them. He had hoped that they would be torn away from their family and sold as slaves. He had wanted to hurt them the way they had hurt him.
But now as he sat in the jail, alone and far from home, and the days and the months and years went by, he began to understand why his brothers had been angry. Even though his brothers had done a horrible thing to him, Joseph missed them, and he wanted to see them again. Joseph forgave his brothers. But his brothers didn't even know that they were forgiven.
More years went by, and Joseph stayed in jail. Then one night the king of Egypt—called a pharaoh—began having a strange dream: a dream about seven thin cows who ate seven fat cows but stayed thin. One of his servants said, "Lord Pharaoh, there is a man in jail who knows about dreams. His name is Joseph."
The pharaoh sent for Joseph, and Joseph told him that the fat cows meant there would be seven years when food grew well, and the thin cows meant there would be seven years when food didn't grow. First there would be plenty to eat for seven years, and then there would be a famine for seven years and people would go hungry.
The pharaoh was impressed. He said, "Joseph, you are free, and you shall be my governor, in charge of all the land and all the food that is grown." For the next seven years, the farmers grew a lot of food, and Joseph made sure they stored most of it.
After seven years, the famine started, just as Joseph had predicted. No plants grew. But the people in Egypt didn't go hungry because they could eat the food that Joseph had stored.
But far away where Joseph's family lived, they hadn't stored any food. They hadn't known a famine was coming. Joseph's father and his sister and his brothers and their wives and children were starving. "Let's go to Egypt," one brother said. "I heard they have food."
His brothers made the long journey to the land of Egypt, walking on the same road that Joseph had walked as a slave all those years ago. When the brothers got to Egypt, they went to the pharaoh's governor, the man who was in charge of all of the food. They bowed down low in front of him, saying, "Please, sir, let us buy food for our families. We are starving."
Thus it was that the dream Joseph had told them about all those years before—the dream of the eleven sheaves of corn bowing down before Joseph's sheaf—had finally come true. But the brothers didn't know the pharaoh's governor was their brother Joseph. They hadn't seen him in more than twenty years. He'd grown up and was wearing different clothes. He'd changed.
He'd changed on the inside, too. He had forgiven his brothers for selling him into slavery, and he was happy to see them again.
He could tell his brothers had changed as well. They were worried about their father, and they took good care of Joseph's younger brother Benjamin, and they were sorry for what they'd done. They didn't hate Joseph anymore.
So Joseph said to his brothers "I am Joseph, your brother." And they were amazed, and worried that he would be angry with them and put them in jail or kill them. But Joseph said, "I forgive you. I welcome you. Bring our father and all your wives and children to Egypt, and live here with me."
So Jacob and his children and their children came to Egypt, and the entire family was together again.
LOVE SURROUNDS US: SESSION 4:
HANDOUT 1: CONNECTIONS SEWING CARDS
We Are Surrounded by Love
LOVE SURROUNDS US: SESSION 4:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: GIVING BOX PATTERN
Download a high-resolution PDF (at www.uua.org/documents/tapestry/lsu/box_pattern.pdf) for printing.
Cut on bold lines. Fold flaps on dotted lines. Tape all edges to form a box.
FIND OUT MORE
UU Principles for Children — from the UUA Bookstore (at www.uuabookstore.org/)
Order Children's Principles and Purposes: Big Bookmark and the book Our Seven Principles in Story and Verse: A Collection for Children and Adults by Kenneth W. Collier.
Forgiveness in the Jewish Religion
Learn more about Jewish values and rituals around forgiveness on the My Jewish Learning (at www.myjewishlearning.com/) website.
Desmond Tutu
Find out more about Bishop Desmond Tutu and programs for "creating a culture of peace around the world" on the Tutu Foundation website (at www.tutufoundation-usa.org/).
Red Light/Green Light
Find variations, and instructions for other kids' games, on the Games Kids Play (at www.gameskidsplay.net/) website.