CREATING HOME
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Children
SESSION 11: BLESS THIS MEAL
BY JESSICA YORK AND CHRISTY OLSON
© Copyright 2008 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 11/7/2014 2:02:06 PM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
SESSION OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
Once the guest has eaten and drunk at your table, the guest becomes kin... beggar or enemy, friend or chief, if they knock on your door, it will open; if they seek your shelter, it will be given, and if they ask for hospitality, give them your bread and wine... for who knows when you may need the help of a fellow human? — Keri Hulme
Poet and writer Keri Hulme was born and lives in New Zealand . Her writing is heavily influenced by Maori culture, which is part of her personal heritage.
Many cultures consider the sharing of a meal to be an important step that transforms strangers into friends and sometimes into family. Think of all the preparation that goes into wedding rehearsal dinners! Starting a new family almost always involves food, and food will continue to be important in the life of the family. Bonding over food seems to be deeply natural. After all, sharing food-gathering resources is almost certainly one of the reasons animals gather in families.
Food is important to us. It is life sustaining at the most basic level. Yet we have not necessarily kept it basic. Think of the elaborate preparation that goes into special or holiday meals. Look at the ritualization of eating found in many cultures — from Shabbat meals and Passover seders to Thanksgiving dinners and Japanese tea ceremonies, from religious fasting and breaking a fast together, to church potlucks. The significance of sharing a meal is universal.
Often at such a meal, a grace is said. A grace provides an opportunity to acknowledge the value of the food itself, and perhaps the company or the occasion for the meal, lifting the experience from the gastronomical to the spiritual. Even families that do not say grace at every meal will sometimes feel moved to do so at special occasions.
However, many Unitarian Universalist families, out of a desire to establish rituals of their faith at home, are saying grace at regular mealtimes. Some families actively work toward dedicating more time to simple family activities, like shared meals, to counteract the hustle and bustle of the world around us. Sharing a meal and our thoughts about the day can be a ritual that helps to hold a family together.
Some children may belong to families where saying grace is a spiritual practice well established. For others, saying grace will be new, or something parents prefer not to do at home. How do your religious education program and your congregation handle saying grace or blessings over food?
GOALS
This session will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
SESSION-AT-A-GLANCE
ACTIVITY | MINUTES |
Opening | 5 |
Activity 1: Making Table Tents | 15 |
Activity 2: Story — The Best Meal | 10 |
Activity 3: Graces and Blessings | 10 |
Activity 4: Breaking Bread Together | 15 |
Faith In Action: Families Help at a Food Bank — Long-term | 10 |
Closing | 5 |
Alternate Activity 1: Family Time | 10 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
If you could share a meal with anyone you chose, who would you invite? What would you serve? Would the occasion be quiet and reflective, or joyous and raucous? Think about your perfect meal with the perfect guests in any setting you like. Now ask yourself: What would be the appropriate grace for such a meal?
SESSION PLAN
OPENING (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
As children enter, invite them to retrieve their name stones from the basket and join you at the labyrinth. The labyrinth should be spread upon the floor with the chalice in the center and matches or a lighter at hand. Be aware of newcomers or guests in the room. Always have extra stones so you can offer the new people a chance to be part of the ritual.
When all are seated, light the chalice and recite these opening words. Invite everyone to say with you:
We are Unitarian Universalists,
with minds that think,
hearts that love,
and hands that are ready to serve.
Tell the children that one at a time, they may place their stones on the labyrinth. You may say:
Here we are on our journey together celebrating both our family home and our faith home. Today, while placing your stone upon the labyrinth, please say your name and any joys or concerns you want to share. Because we will be talking about thankfulness today, you might want to also tell us about something that makes you thankful.
When all the children are done, name something that makes you thankful. Extinguish the chalice.
ACTIVITY 1: MAKING TABLE TENTS (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
In this activity, children decorate a table tent imprinted with the words of a grace blessing. Children should take theirs home, but, if you have time, let each child make a few extra. Give these to the congregation to use at faith home gatherings that involve sharing food.
Show the children a folded table tent. Explain that they will glue a grace blessing to one side and decorate the other side. Indicate the materials they will use to decorate their table tents.
Before you distribute the table tents, explain that a grace blessing is words family or friends can say together to give thanks before eating a meal at the table. As you distribute the table tents, show children how to flatten it to decorate it, and how to make it stand again when they are done. You may say, in your own words:
When a table tent sits upon the table where people will share food together, it can be more than just a decoration. Looking at the decoration you will make and saying the words of the grace together help remind people to be thankful for the food that we eat and for the chance to be with our family and friends.
If in an earlier session the children made wax-resistant chalice pictures (Session 2, Alternate Activity 1), a "stained glass" table tent they make with tissue paper will nicely match the chalice pictures they have already brought home. If you have colored tissue paper, invite the children to tear or cut some small pieces to glue for decoration. Or, you can show them how to cut shapes from one side of the table tent and glue pieces of tissue paper behind the shapes for a see-through "stained glass" effect. Some may need some help. Allow children to combine "stained glass" and coloring, as they choose.
When children finish decorating, help them fold and crease the table tents so they stand.
As you clean up, keep table tents handy. Children will use them for Activity 3: Graces and you will want to use at least one for Activity 4: Breaking Bread Together.
ACTIVITY 2: STORY — THE BEST MEAL (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
The group will hear a story about the joys of sharing goodwill and community at mealtime and reflect on what makes a meal "good." Gather the children to hear the story.
At the conclusion, ask the group:
ACTIVITY 3: GRACES AND BLESSINGS (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Children will learn that a grace is both a "thank you" and a blessing. They will learn that a grace is for mealtimes and a blessing can be for many different occasions. And, they will hear what all of the graces sound like so they can help to say or sing them at home before a meal, if their families would like to do so.
Show the children where the grace words are printed on their table tents. Tell them that the table tents they made each have different graces on them; there are four different graces.
Say, in your own words:
Some people, before eating their meal, say a blessing or a grace. Many times, this grace is a way of expressing gratitude or thanks for the food and other things that make our life joyful. Some people say the same grace at every meal. Some families go around the table and let everyone say what they are thankful for having in their lives, like what we did earlier.
Ask the group:
Has anyone here ever said a grace before a meal? How do you like to say grace?
Allow some responses. Then say:
All of those are good. Here are some more ideas for graces you can say.
Read or sing the graces to the group, one grace at a time. Choose one that you can teach them. Sing or say a line, and ask the children to repeat it. Then have them repeat two lines at a time back to you. Then, sing or say the entire grace together.
Ask the children which grace they like best, and why. Some children may like a particular grace that is not printed on the table tent they decorated. You can invite children to trade table tents with one another, or distribute additional copies of Leader Resource 2, Four Graces.
Ask the children about ways of giving thanks they have participated in at their family or faith home. How many have taken turns saying something they are grateful for at Thanksgiving, or at another time?
Ask if anyone can tell you what it means to "bless." A dictionary definition would be "to confer well-being or prosperity"(American Heritage Dictionary). Tell the group:
A blessing is a way to wish something or someone well, to pray that good things will happen to a person or group of people, an animal, or a place. We may bless various things, living and non-living, at our family home and our faith home.
Now tell the children that a "grace" can be a kind of blessing, as well as a way of giving thanks. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, a grace is "a short prayer of blessing or thanksgiving said before or after a meal."
Ask, "Who has the power to bless?" Give the answer, in these words or your own:
We all do. We are all interconnected. We are connected to each other and to life. We can all call upon the spirit of life to wish happiness upon each other. When we come together as a faith family in our congregation we can combine our good wishes to bless each other and the world. We express appreciation for each other and wish others well.
Make sure the children sitting there with you know what a blessing they are to their families and the congregation.
ACTIVITY 4: BREAKING BREAD TOGETHER (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
The children will prepare to eat together, say grace, and break bread with their peers, giving them a chance to experience fellowship around sharing a meal.
Engage all of the children in preparation; make sure everyone has a role. If you have decided to extend this activity by having children make a snack together, some can mix ingredients while others set a tablecloth upon the table(s) or floor, set out plates and cups, and place a chalice and table tent in the center of the seating area. Others can pour drinks into the cups.
Start with having everyone either wash their hands or use hand sanitizer. Once the table is set, place the bread in the center, along with any bowls of snacks the children have made together. Ask the children to clean their hands again. Then call everyone to a place at the table.
Invite the children to hold hands, and lead the group in saying or singing the grace printed on the table tent(s). While the children eat, start a conversation in which everyone has a chance to speak. You might ask everyone to tell the group their favorite food.
After the snack, ask everyone to help clean up.
Although it would take more planning and more time, consider inviting another group to join you for snack. Sharing what they are doing with another group will help the children absorb the learning they will do in this session. It will also give them an experience to bring to Session 12: John Murray, which focuses on hospitality. Ideal guests might be younger children or senior members of the congregation. Children of this age may become anxious about presenting themselves well if older children or youth are their guests.
Including All Participants
Find out from parents about any allergies among the children and plan accordingly. Avoid nuts in any shared snack, as nut allergies are common.
Make sure every child has a role in preparing the snack as well as cleaning up.
CLOSING (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the group in a circle around the labyrinth. Relight the chalice. Invite the children to take their stones from the labyrinth, place them in the basket, and return to the circle.
If you have a Word Wall, say:
The words for our World Wall today are "grace" and "blessing."
Show the group the index cards or post-its on which you have written "grace" and "blessing." Post them on the Word Wall, or ask a volunteer to do it.
Ask a few volunteers to help you fold or roll the labyrinth and put it away.
Next, invite everyone to hold hands and sing just the chorus to "When Our Heart Is in a Holy Place ," Hymn 1008 in Singing the Journey.
If you prefer, invite participants to recite the words to the song:
When our heart is in a holy place,
When our heart is in a holy place.
We are blessed with love and amazing grace.
When our heart is in a holy place.
Say in your own words:
Thank you for breaking bread with me today. I leave you with a traditional blessing from the country of Ireland .
Then, give this blessing:
May the blessing of light be on you —
Light without and light within.
May the blessed sunlight shine on you and warm your heart
Till it glows like a great peat fire,
So that the stranger may come and warm himself at it,
And also a friend.
Extinguish the chalice.
Distribute the Taking It Home handout you have prepared. Remind the children to give the handout to their parents, and dismiss the group.
FAITH IN ACTION: FAMILIES HELP AT A FOOD BANK — LONG-TERM (10 MINUTES)
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Food on the table is as much a blessing as the company being shared. Some people struggle to provide meals for their families. Children and their families could spend time helping to prepare and serve a meal at a shelter. However, it is not just the homeless that have food struggles. The working poor have them also, and to help this population many communities have food banks or food recovery services.
You may need to do some research to find these agencies. Members of your Justice or Social Action Committee might be able to help.
Once you have the name of an agency, call and ask how the children and their families can help. May they stack cans in a food pantry? May they help fill grocery bags for pick-up? If you pick a food recovery agency, you might visit a restaurant or food store near your congregation and recruit them to become part of the food recovery network.
When you introduce this Faith in Action activity to the children, you may like to ask others in your congregation who have volunteered with the same agency or done a similar service project to present it with you. When you present the plan, remind children that the "thank you" a grace signifies before a meal includes the food itself as well as the company of the people we'll share it with, and the other comforts and joys for which we are grateful.
Whatever project you do, try to arrange for the children to tour the facilities and hear from an agency or service worker about why their work is important and what children can do to help eradicate hunger.
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
Remember that saying grace will now become a regular spiritual practice for the group. Keep at least one table tent somewhere in the meeting space where it will not get lost or tossed. Think about other graces you know that you would like to share with the children.
The story for this session was longer than most. Were you able to tell the story as opposed to reading it aloud? Did the children stay focused?
Did the children work well together at preparing to break bread together? If not, what would you do differently next time? Which activities went well?
TAKING IT HOME
Once the guest has eaten and drunk at your table, the guest becomes kin…beggar or enemy, friend or chief, if they knock on your door, it will open; if they seek your shelter, it will be given, and if they ask for hospitality, give them your bread and wine…for who knows when you may need the help of a fellow human? – Keri Hulme
IN TODAY’S SESSION…
Your child is bringing home a table tent that they created in Creating Home today. One side of the table tent features a grace or table blessing. We will say grace in Creating Home whenever we share food together, for the rest of this program. We discussed that grace can be both a blessing and a way to express thanks. We also talked about the similarities and differences between activities we participate in with our family and our faith family. If you use the terms “faith family” and “faith home,” this will reinforce the meaning of these terms for your child.
EXPLORE THE TOPIC TOGETHER. Talk about…
Saying a grace or blessing before a meal is a way of saying ”thank you.” You might wish to discuss with your child who or what they think should be thanked before eating. Do we thank God or Spirit for the gifts that we are given? Do we thank the plants or animals for being our food? Does it matter who we are thanking? Why is it important to be grateful?
Bear in mind that different members of your family may well have different opinions on this subject, and that it isn’t necessary for everyone to agree in order to share in share saying grace together.
EXTEND THE TOPIC TOGETHER. Try…
A Family Ritual
Your family may or may not have a ritual of saying grace together before meals. If this ritual is new to you, you might like to use the grace which appears on the table tent that your child brought home. Try holding hands and taking a deep breath together before saying the words. Or, you might like to sing a blessing rather than just saying it. Here is one such blessing, sung to the tune of the Tallis Canon, "Oh We Give Thanks (at smallscreen.uua.org/videos/taking-it-home-bless-this-meal)." (MP3 file)
Oh, we give thanks for fruit and grain,
For earth and air and sun and rain,
For those with feathers, fur or feet
Who make it so that we may eat.
A Family Adventure
One way of showing gratitude for the food that we have is to share with those who do not have enough to eat. As a family you could go through your pantry and cupboards to cull non-perishable items which you can donate to a local food bank, or go on a family shopping expedition to buy food to donate. You may also be able to volunteer your time with a food bank and help to sort and/or distribute food.
FAMILY DISCOVERY
Many Unitarian Universalist families practice saying grace as a spiritual practice at home. There are many resources for graces online. Here are a few books you might also consider:
Rejoice Together: Readings for Family, Individual and Small-Group Worship (at www.uuabookstore.org/productdetails.cfm?PC=630), 2nd edition edited by Helen R. Pickett (Boston: Skinner House, 2005)
Earth Prayers From around the World: 365 Prayers, Poems, and Invocations for Honoring the Earth by Elizabeth Roberts (HarperOne, 1991)
Available from the UUA online bookstore (at uuabookstore.org/) are Gift of Faith by Jeanne Nieuwejaar (Boston: Skinner House, 2002) and the Unitarian Universalist Association pamphlet, Family Prayers by Irene Prager.
Three more books offering reflections about and suggestions for rituals in family homes are The Intentional Family: Rituals to Strengthen Family Ties by William J. Doherty (Perseus Books, 1997); Putting Family First: Successful Strategies for Reclaiming Family Life in a Hurry-Up World by William J. Doherty and Barbara Carlson (Holt Paperbacks, 2002); and The Book of New Family Traditions by Meg Cox, illustrated by Sarah McMenemy (Running Press, 2003).
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ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: FAMILY TIME (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This activity will deepen children's understanding of the terms "home," "family home," and "faith home" as you guide them to discern which activities we share with others in our family homes, in our faith home, and in both places.
Tell the children that you will begin to name some activities. The children can decide if they do these activities with members of their family home, their faith home, or both. If children need a reminder, mention that their faith home means the congregation or house of worship and includes the community of people they are with right now.
You can start by suggesting that sharing meals together is one activity we share with members of our family home and members of our faith home. Write "eat together" in both columns. Let the group suggest additional activities, or prompt as needed:
Fill in the chart with the activity in the appropriate column(s). Point out anything that particularly stands out.
Now look at all the activities that are done at the faith home. Read each one aloud. Ask the group which activities they have done together so far. Place a star sticker by those activities.
CREATING HOME: SESSION 11:
STORY: THE BEST MEAL
Inspired by a story in Tales for the Seventh Day: A Collection of Sabbath Stories by Nina Jaffe (New York: Scholastic Press, 2000).
Once a there was a great chef who was famous throughout the land. She was so good she taught other people how to cook and their food was almost as tasty as hers. Just for fun, she would throw fancy dinner parties once a month. Everyone wanted to be invited to these dinners. For these dinners, she would instruct the student chefs to cook new and extravagant dishes. The dinner guests, in awe of the chef’s skills, would spend the dinner savoring each bite. All you would hear would be quiet little “ooohs” and “aaahs."
Because she wanted to always feature new goodies to eat at all her parties, she would travel far and wide all over the land to experience new food. Everywhere she went, the town would honor her. The best cooks would create dishes unique to their region. The great chef tasted them all and requested the recipes of the dishes she liked best. As you can imagine, she ate a lot of food and knew a great deal about how to prepare the best meals.
One evening, while traveling home, the chef stopped at a small country house to ask for directions to a hotel. The family insisted that she spend the night with them. Happily, she was in time for dinner. The mother took a casserole out of the oven. Brother tossed a salad with different vegetables. Sister sliced the bread.
“Let me help,' said the chef, so she set the table for the four of them.
When everyone was seated at the table, the family held hands. The chef felt the young sister’s hand slip into hers and the chef, in turn, reached out for the brother’s hand.
The mother said, “To have food upon the table” and the children replied “Is a blessing!”
The mother said, “The sunset and the possibility of another sunrise tomorrow…”
“Is a blessing!” the children replied.
“The love of family, the warmth of friendship, and the grace of the Spirit…”
“Is a blessing!” the children and chef replied together. Then they laughed, happy that the chef had joined in their grace.
They ate and during the meal everyone told stories about their day. The chef could not believe how delicious the food was. She didn’t want dinner to end. All things must end, however, and off to bed the children went.
“May I have the recipes?” the chef asked the mother, who was flattered that the chef had so enjoyed their simple meal.
In the morning, the chef rode on towards home. When she got home, she went straight to the kitchen, gave the young chefs the recipes, and told them to start preparation for a dinner party tomorrow night.
Tomorrow came, the guests arrived, and the casserole, salad, and bread were served. The chef took a bite and chewed. Something was wrong. Something was missing. This was not like the meal she had at the farmhouse. She ordered the students to explain what they had done differently, but they promised they had only followed the recipes. So she sent someone to go to the farmhouse to bring the mother to her house. The mother came and the chef asked her what missing ingredient had she left out of the recipe.
“What’s missing cannot fit into a recipe,” she replied. “Did you and your guests make the meal together? Did you hold fast to each other while giving thanks? Did you share your stories during the meal?”
“No,” the chef replied. None of that had happened. Then the chef realized that sharing a meal together – what we call “breaking bread together” – was about more than just eating good food. It was about working together, sharing lives, and sharing laughs. It was about being thankful for the food not because it was fancy or the best, but because being together to enjoy the food would nourish you, your family, and your friends.
After that, the chef decided to give small, intimate dinner parties. She and her guests would work together with the student chefs and they would all sit together, give thanks, and enjoy the very best of meals.
CREATING HOME: SESSION 11:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: SNACK RECIPES
If you have time, you may like to extend Activity 4: Breaking Bread Together by engaging the children in preparing a more complicated snack together, by inviting another group to break bread with the children, or both.
One easy snack recipe is to make your own snack mix. Purchase three to five bags of differently sized, shaped and flavored crackers. Children generally like cheese flavored crackers. You might include cheesy fish-shaped crackers, pretzel sticks, and small, round toasted crackers. Cereal that is not too sweet could be another fun addition. You might have children with nut allergies, so don’t include nuts. You could also include raisins, dried peaches or other dried fruit.
You might consider a fruit salad, combining purple and green grapes, canned tangerine sections, and pieces of apples and pears. You would need to cut the apple and pear pieces before the meeting.
Most children also like pasta, which is tasty and fun. If you have time to cook before the class, a different and silly snack might include differently shapes and colors of pasta, without sauce. Try multicolored rotini, wheat linguini, spaghetti, and spinach shells.
Make sure children wash their hands or use an antibacterial cleanser both before combining ingredients and before eating.
CREATING HOME: SESSION 11:
LEADER RESOURCE 2: FOUR GRACES
Grace #1
For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything your goodness sends,
Thank you!
adapted from a grace of Ralph Waldo Emerson by Reverend Phil Lund. Sung to the tune of “Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow”
Grace #2
Loving spirit be our guest.
Dine with us, share our bread
That our table might be blessed
And our souls be fed.
by Reverend Gary Kowalski, may be sung to the tune of “Mary Had a Little Lamb”
Grace #3
Oh, the Earth is good to me,
and so I thank the Earth
for giving me the things I need,
the sun, the rain and the apple seed
the earth is good to me.
adapted by Pat Kahn from a Girl Scout grace, from a song, “Johnny Appleseed,” by Kim Gannon and Walter Kent
Grace #4
We lift our hearts in thanks today for all the gifts of life.
by Percival Chubb
FIND OUT MORE
Graces and Blessings
There are many resources for graces and blessings online, and here are two books to peruse:
Rejoice Together: Prayers, Meditations and Other Readings for Family, Inidividual and Small-Group Worship (at www.uuabookstore.org/productdetails.cfm?PC=630), 2nd edition edited by Helen R. Pickett (Boston: Skinner House, 2005)
Earth Prayers From around the World: 365 Prayers, Poems, and Invocations for Honoring the Earth by Elizabeth Roberts (HarperOne, 1991)
Available from the UUA online bookstore (at www.uuabookstore.org/) (at secure.uua.org/bookstore/index.php)are Gift of Faith by Jeanne Nieuwejaar (Boston: Skinner House, 2002) and the Unitarian Universalist Association pamphlet, Family Prayers by Irene Prager.
Three more books offering reflections about and suggestions for rituals in family homes are The Intentional Family: Rituals to Strengthen Family Ties by William J. Doherty (Perseus Books, 1997); Putting Family First: Successful Strategies for Reclaiming Family Life in a Hurry-Up World by William J. Doherty and Barbara Carlson (Holt Paperbacks, 2002); and The Book of New Family Traditions by Meg Cox, illustrated by Sarah McMenemy (Running Press, 2003).
Food Recovery Agencies
Go online to learn about food recovery agencies (at www.usda.gov/news/pubs/gleaning/five.htm)and how they work.
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