THE WI$DOM PATH: MONEY, SPIRIT, AND LIFE
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Adults
WORKSHOP 4: THE MANY MEANINGS OF MONEY
BY PATRICIA HALL INFANTE AND DAVID H. MESSNER; DEVELOPMENTAL EDITOR: GAIL FORSYTH-VAIL
© Copyright 2013 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 9/30/2014 12:04:17 AM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
WORKSHOP OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
Follow the money. Always follow the money. — from the film All the President’s Men
This workshop considers the many ways money influences our choices and relationships at home and in our congregation. While we sometimes view money as a straightforward medium of exchange, at other times we attach social, relational, or political significance to money or designate certain monies for specific purposes. In the story in this workshop, a child feels pressure to spend designated money on "baubles" and struggles with a choice to spend it differently. Participants learn specific communication practices for healthy money talk and reflect how these practices might contribute positively to family and congregational life.
Because emotional challenges in talking about money can cause discomfort, take the time to read through the workshop carefully and envision how you will facilitate conversations. It is helpful to have some familiarity with systems theory; consider viewing congregational consultant Gil Rendle's talk on Congregations as Emotional Systems (at www.youtube.com/watch?v=40ft_Oj5QK4) (36:52) at UU University 2006 as part of your workshop preparation. In addition, review the Accessibility guidelines in the program Introduction under Integrating All Participants.
GOALS
This workshop will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
WORKSHOP-AT-A-GLANCE
Activity | Minutes |
Opening | 10 |
Activity 1: The Flow of Money | 10 |
Activity 2: Special Money | 10 |
Activity 3: Lucky Money | 20 |
Activity 4: Money Talk in the Congregation | 25 |
Activity 5: Journal Writing | 10 |
Faith in Action: Lucky Money Choices | |
Closing | 5 |
Alternate Activity 1: Letter to My Dad | 20 |
Alternate Activity 2: Money Talk at Home | 25 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
Take a few minutes to reflect on your answers to the questions posed in the Opening and share your responses with your co-facilitator or a trusted friend.
WORKSHOP PLAN
OPENING (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Welcome people into the circle. Sound the chime and invite participants into quiet reflection as you prepare to enter into a time of centering and sharing.
Ask a volunteer to light the chalice as you share these words by Rev. Dawn Skjei Cooley:
We light our chalice, grateful for the love that we experience in this beloved community. May the flame light the way for all who seek such abundance.
Lead "Come, Come, Whoever You Are," Hymn 188 in Singing the Living Tradition.
Tell participants this workshop focuses on the ways money flows through our personal lives and our congregational lives and how this flow influences our choices. Invite participants to reflect silently for a moment or two on a time when money came into their lives unexpectedly (for example, a gift or a bonus). How did it feel? Now reflect on a time when you gave a monetary gift to someone else. Did you have expectations about how the recipient would use the gift? Would you be disappointed if they use it differently than the way you imagined it? Allow a few moments for reflection.
Say:
May our time together be made holy by the sharing of stories, the gift of good listening, and the joy of being held in community.
Sound the chime to signal the end of the centering time.
Including All Participants
If you wish to invite the group to rise and sing, ensure that the option to remain seated is communicated. You may say, "Rise in body or spirit."
ACTIVITY 1: THE FLOW OF MONEY (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Engage participants in a brainstorm. Ask them to name different ways that money comes into our personal lives (for example, earnings from work, gifts, garage sales) and then to name ways that it leaves (for example, rent, groceries, charitable donations, education, family support). Record the responses in the columns on the "home" sheet of labeled newsprint, until you have 10 to 15 items on each side of the "ledger." Then, repeat the process for the inflow and outflow of money in the congregation, capturing responses on the other labeled sheet of newsprint. Examples of inflow might be pledges, grants, collection plate, rental income; outflows might be salaries for staff, money spent on worship, the RE budget, and so on.
Post the sheet of newsprint with reflection questions. Offer these questions for group reflection, noting that you will explore them more deeply later in the workshop:
ACTIVITY 2: SPECIAL MONEY (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Referring to the lists created in Activity 1, introduce "special money." Say:
"Special money" is money we designate, or earmark, for a particular use, limit to particular users, or categorize differently based on its source or intended purpose. Earmarking has gained a negative reputation in our sociopolitical discourse. Here, however, we are going for a broader understanding of the term.
Ask:
Ask participants to review the newsprint lists of congregational inflow and outflow and identify areas where "special money" comes into play in congregational life. Invite participants to consider how earmarking can be used as a tool to intentionally direct the flow of congregational money toward a larger purpose.
ACTIVITY 3: LUCKY MONEY (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Distribute copies of the story "Sam and the Lucky Money." Have volunteers read the story aloud. Allow a moment for the group to reflect, and then invite participants to move into pairs and respond to the questions posted on newsprint. Give pairs 10 minutes.
Use the chime to keep track of time. At the five minute mark, indicate that the second person in the group should be speaking. Sound the chime again two minutes before the end of the allotted time. Re-gather the group and ask each pair to share one "aha" from their discussion. Limit the group reporting time to about five minutes.
ACTIVITY 4: MONEY TALK IN THE CONGREGATION (25 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Distribute Handout 1, Case Study — East Red Velvet UU Fellowship. Introduce the case study, a budgeting discussion among congregational leaders. Ask for up to six volunteers to participate in the role play and assign them each a role number. Give the group about five minutes to read the case study description. Then, read the case study description aloud and invite volunteers to enact the role play. If you have more than six participants, invite those who do not have a role to observe the process.
Tell the role-players their task is to make progress toward a solution, but they needn't come to a final resolution. Allow 10 to 12 minutes for the role play. Afterward, give role-players an opportunity to offer feedback about their role. Was it easy or challenging? Comfortable or uncomfortable? Why?
Distribute Handout 2, Healthy Communication Practices and engage the full group to discuss these questions:
Including All Participants
If the group includes people who use mobility devices such as a wheelchair, arrange the role-play space in such a way as to welcome them to take a role; that is, set chairs for the inner circle aside until you know how many you will need.
ACTIVITY 5: JOURNAL WRITING (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Indicate the paper and writing/drawing implements. Invite participants to write or draw thoughts and reflections. Suggest they consider:
CLOSING (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Distribute Taking It Home. Invite everyone to form a circle and join hands. Ask participants to reflect quietly for a moment and then share a word or phrase that describes one insight or take-away from this workshop. Share Reading 701 from Singing the Living Tradition. Extinguish the chalice.
FAITH IN ACTION: LUCKY MONEY CHOICES
Description of Activity
Challenge one another to keep track of purchases for a single week. Ask each person to look over purchases with a critical eye, asking:
As a workshop group, share your discoveries about the "lucky money" you have identified in your life. Reflect on how it would feel to give that same amount of money to an organization or charitable group you are passionate about. Covenant together to making clear-headed choices about how to spend your "lucky money," in a way that is in tune with your most cherished values. Check in with one another periodically about your progress in honoring your commitments.
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
Make a time for reflection and discussion with your co-facilitator after the conclusion of the workshop. Consider these questions:
TAKING IT HOME
Follow the money. Always follow the money. — from the film All the President's Men
Think about your money inflow and outflow. Create a pie chart of where you think you spend your money and then do a quick analysis of your actual spending. Can you identify pockets of "special money" in your household?
Host a "money movie" night. Show movies where money is a major theme or motivator. What healthy/unhealthy behaviors do you observe? What values are at work? Examples include: Rainman, Glengarry Glen Ross, The Color of Money, Brewster's Millions, Ocean's Eleven, and It's A Wonderful Life.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: LETTER TO MY DAD (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Tell participants you are going to read a letter from a young adult to his father about his choice to give away a significant portion of his trust fund. Distribute Handout 3, Letter to My Dad and have a volunteer read it aloud. Allow a moment for participants to reflect, and then invite them to find a partner. Invite pairs to take 10 minutes to consider the questions you have posted.
Use the chime to keep track of time. At the 5 minute mark, indicate that the second person in the group should be speaking. Sound the chime again two minutes before the end of the allotted time.
Bring the group back together and ask each pair to share one "aha" from their discussion. Limit the group reporting time to about five minutes.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 2: MONEY TALK AT HOME (25 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Distribute Handout 4, Case Study — The Miller Family. Introduce the case study, a family discussion around budgeting for a child's college education expenses. Ask for up to five volunteers to participate in the role play and assign them each a role number. Give the group about five minutes to read the case study description. Then, read the case study description aloud and invite volunteers to enact the role play. If you have more than five participants, invite those who do not have a role to observe the process.
Tell the role-players their task is to make progress toward a solution, but they needn't come to a final resolution. Allow 10 to 12 minutes for the role play. Afterward, give role-players an opportunity to offer feedback about their role. Was it easy or challenging? Comfortable or uncomfortable? Why?
Distribute Handout 2, Healthy Communication Practices and engage the full group to discuss these questions:
Including All Participants
If the group includes people who use mobility devices such as a wheelchair, arrange the role-play space in such a way as to welcome them to take a role; that is, set chairs for the inner circle aside until you know how many you will need.
THE WI$DOM PATH: MONEY, SPIRIT, AND LIFE: WORKSHOP 4:
STORY: SAM AND THE LUCKY MONEY
Sam and the Lucky Money text Copyright © 1995 by Karen Chinn. Permission arranged with Lee & Low Books, Inc., New York, NY 10016.
Sam could hardly wait to get going. He zipped up his jacket and patted his pockets. It was time to go to Chinatown for New Year's Day!
Sam thought about sweet oranges and "lucky money": Crisp dollar bills tucked in small red envelopes called leisees [pronounced "lay- sees"].
Sam's grandparents gave him leisees every New Year. Each envelope was decorated with a symbol of luck. Sam's leisees were embossed in gold.
Sam counted out four dollars. Boy, did he feel rich! His parents said he didn't have to buy a notebook or socks as usual. This year he could spend his lucky money his way.
The streets hummed with the thump of drums and the clang of cymbals.
It seemed like everyone was shopping for New Year's meals. There were so many people crowded around the overflowing vegetable bins that Sam had to look out for elbows and shopping bags.
Right next to the vegetable stand were two huge red-paper mounds. Sam kicked the piles with his right foot, and then with his left foot, until he created a small blizzard. On his third kick he felt his foot land on something strange.
"Aiya!" someone cried out in pain.
Startled, he looked up to find an old man sitting against the wall. The stranger was rubbing his foot. Bare feet in winter! Sam thought. Where are his shoes?
Sam stared at the man's dirty clothes as he backed away. For once, Sam was glad to follow his mother.
In the bakery window, Sam eyed a gleaming row of fresh char siu bao, his favorite honey-topped buns. Sam wondered how many sweets he could buy with four dollars.
Sam was about to ask for buns when he noticed a full tray of New Year's cookies. They were shaped like fish, with fat, pleated tails that looked like little toes. He couldn't help but think about the old man again. Sam decided he wasn't hungry after all. Suddenly, he heard a noise from outside that sounded like a thousand leaves rustling.
"Look!" he yelled. Bundles of firecrackers were exploding in the street. Rounding the corner was the festival lion, followed by a band of cymbals and drums. Sam pulled his mother outside.
The colorful lion wove down the street like a giant centipede. It came to a halt in front of a meat market, and sniffed a giant leisee that hung in the doorway. With loud fanfare, the band urged the lion toward its prize.
"Take the food! Take the money! Bring us good luck for the New Year!" Sam shouted along with the others. His heart pounded in time with the drum's beat. With a sudden lunge, the lion devoured the leisee all in an eye-blink and continued down the street.
A large "Grand Opening" sign caught Sam's eye. A new toy store! Just the place to spend his lucky money!
Sam ran down one aisle, then another. Then, he spotted the basketballs.
A new basketball was the perfect way to spend his lucky money. But when he saw the price tag, he got angry.
"I only have four dollars," he shouted. "I can't buy this."
"What is four dollars good for?" he complained, stamping his feet.
Sam couldn't help it. Even with all the shiny gold on them, the leisees seemed worthless.
"Sam, when someone gives you something, you should appreciate it," his mother said as she marched him along. Sam stuffed his leisees back in his pockets. The sun had disappeared behind some clouds, and he was starting to feel the chill. He dragged his feet along the sidewalk.
Suddenly, Sam saw a pair of bare feet, and instantly recognized them. They belonged to the old man he had seen earlier. The man also remembered him, and smiled. Sam froze in his steps, staring at the man's feet.
His mother kept walking. When she turned back to check on Sam, she noticed the old man. "Oh," she said, "Sorry—I only have a quarter." The man bowed his head several times in thanks.
He acts like it's a million bucks, Sam thought, shaking his head. As they started to walk away, Sam looked down at this own feet, warm and dry in his boots.
"Can I really do anything I want with my lucky money?" he asked.
"Yes, of course," his mother answered.
Sam pulled his leisees from his pockets. The golden dragon looked shinier than ever. He ran back and thrust his lucky money into the surprised man's hands.
"You can't buy shoes with this," he told the man, "but I know you can buy some socks." The stranger laughed, and so did Sam's mother.
Sam walked back to his mother and took her warm hand. She smiled and gave a gentle squeeze. And as they headed home for more New Year's celebration, Sam knew he was the lucky one.
THE WI$DOM PATH: MONEY, SPIRIT, AND LIFE: WORKSHOP 4:
HANDOUT 1: CASE STUDY — EAST RED VELVET UU FELLOWSHIP
East Red Velvet UU Fellowship is in the midst of budget planning for the next program year. Each committee was asked to submit a budget request for consideration. Last year's budget included significant staff salary and benefit increases, so the unstated goal of the stewardship committee is to keep this year's budget increases to a minimum. The Music Committee is overdue in submitting their request and, given that they represent a significant portion of the budget, the overall process is stalled.
The board president has called together the Chair of the Finance Committee, the Music Director, the Music Committee Chair, and several board members for an informal meeting to discuss the situation and how to move forward.
Role 1
You are the chair of the Stewardship committee. You feel personally responsible for the success of the stewardship campaign and are anxious that it won't go well.
Role 2
You are the chair of the Music committee. When you were recruited, no one mentioned that you would be responsible for creating a budget. Money is not something that was ever discussed when you were growing up and you don't feel comfortable talking about it in a group. The Music Director gave you some information but it is not clear to you what you should do next. You feel inadequate and it feels like the Stewardship committee chair is pressuring you for an answer.
Role 3
You are the Board President. You are annoyed with the Music committee chair because they seem to know nothing about the music budget. They seem to not want to deal with it. You have bypassed the chair and gone directly to the Music Director.
Role 4
You are the Music Director. The Board President keeps asking you for information about the budget yet it is clearly stated in the Music committee charter that they are responsible for creating and submitting the annual budget. You have given the Music committee chair all the information they should need to complete the budget request, including the information that the cost of instrument maintenance and tuning will increase significantly this year. You feel caught in the middle and don't want to embarrass the committee chair, but you are concerned that you won't get the money you need for next year's program.
Role 5
You are on the board. Your spouse is the chair of the Social Justice committee and they have asked for an increase in their budget this year for a special project that they are very passionate about. If the Music budget increases, the Social Justice committee's request will be tabled. You don't have the personal financial resources to support this project and your spouse will be very disappointed if the budget increase doesn't come through.
Role 6
You are on the board. You are uncomfortable with the information you have about the positions of other players in the scenario but are afraid to speak to others for fear of breaking a confidence.
Questions for Group Discussion
THE WI$DOM PATH: MONEY, SPIRIT, AND LIFE: WORKSHOP 4:
HANDOUT 2: HEALTHY COMMUNICATION PRACTICES
Listen attentively to what others are saying. | Be willing to discuss difficult issues. | Use "I" language. | Stay connected through conflict. Don't disengage. |
Paraphrase what you heard the other person say. | Understand boundaries. | Be open to what you can learn from others. | Respect confidentiality. |
Communicate directly, avoiding triangulation. | Use positive body language. Lean into the conversation. | Respond rather than react. | Ask clarifying questions. |
Engage in truth-telling. | Don't interrupt. | Avoid secrecy. | Try to tamp anxiety. |
THE WI$DOM PATH: MONEY, SPIRIT, AND LIFE: WORKSHOP 4:
HANDOUT 3: LETTER TO MY DAD
By Tyrone Boucher, from his website, Enough: The Personal Politics of Resisting Capitalism. Used with permission.
Hey Dad,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response to my email!
I want to respond by bringing up stuff that is really timely right now in regards to my giving and my own relationship to wealth.
As I mentioned, I recently joined a donor circle called Gulf South Allied Funders. This move was really important to me, because GSAF is a group I've been inspired by since it began a little over a year ago. Beyond just the fact that I think a lot about the impact of Katrina and its obvious connection to racism—and want to help support social justice in the Gulf South however I can—GSAF uses a model of giving that I find really exciting and thoughtful.
Most of the money that GSAF helps channel doesn't come from the personal giving of the nine original members of the group—it comes from fundraising within the communities that those folks have access to. This includes their families, friends, churches, etc. as well as the Resource Generation community—and also a few established donor networks that have been asked to match or double the funds that GSAF raises.
I think I agree with you that just giving the $400,000 or so that I have to a grassroots organization or activist-led regranting institution won't catalyze a revolution. But there are a couple reasons why I still feel compelled to give a significant portion of what I have.
The first is what I described above—the way that my wealth and class privilege give me access to communities that have more resources than I do, and a certain amount of leverage in communicating with those communities. In teaming up with GSAF I become a part of a powerful donor network with connections, influence, and lots and lots of money.
The second reason I feel compelled to give is a more personal, spiritual urge. I'm incredibly inspired by the folks I've met who gave away their inherited wealth to support social justice. I find it particularly inspiring when this giving includes an analysis of the inherent power dynamics of philanthropy and an effort to redistribute power in a way that transfers decision-making ability about the money to the hands of people and communities who are on the front lines of social justice work. I have seen the way that this intentional letting go of power has been transformative for many of my friends.
Increasingly, I am supported and sustained by social justice work in a deep way—by the vision for a better world. When I give money, I intend to be really conscious about not doing it from a place of guilt, but doing it from a place of love and joy and the desire to align my actions with my spiritual and political beliefs.
Thank you again for having this ongoing dialogue with me—I'm really excited about it. And I can't wait to hear your thoughts.
xoxo Tyrone
THE WI$DOM PATH: MONEY, SPIRIT, AND LIFE: WORKSHOP 4:
HANDOUT 4: CASE STUDY — THE MILLER FAMILY
The Miller family is facing some financial challenges. The oldest child is applying to private colleges with tuition costs that will add a significant financial burden to the family budget. It is the end of a long week and the question of how to pay for college has come up during the family's traditional Friday pizza night.
Role 1
You are the head of household and the primary breadwinner. Work has been very stressful lately and one of your longtime work associates was let go last week. The household budget is straining under the routine costs of sustaining a family of five and you feel guilty that you did not plan better for college when the children were young and suspect that your child will have to take on large college loans to go to their first choice school.
Role 2
You are the spouse and you are not currently employed outside the home. You have a bit of a book obsession and you have some credit card bills that your spouse does not know about. You want the best for your children but you don't really like to talk about money.
Role 3
You are a high school senior, planning to go away to college. Your parents have been generous to you throughout your growing up years and your expectation is that they will continue to support your dream of going to private college in another state. You have a good academic record and expect to be awarded a scholarship.
Role 4
You are a grandparent. You want to see your grandchildren do great things and you have indicated a willingness to provide some financial support. It has been fifty years since you attended college and you were shocked by the current cost of a college education. After hearing about the high cost of private school, you are adamant that the best choice is a state school.
Role 5
You are a young adult child who stopped by to join the family for dinner. You have heard stories about your parents' childhoods and know that the family's primary breadwinner grew up in very difficult socioeconomic circumstances. You also know how proud they feel of of their ability to provide for the family's comfort. You feel anxious knowing that your parents have to make difficult choices.
Group Discussion
THE WI$DOM PATH: MONEY, SPIRIT, AND LIFE: WORKSHOP 4:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: SPECIAL MONIES
From "The Social Meaning of Money," by Viviana A. Zelizer, The American Journal of Sociology, volume 95, No 2, September 1989.
Special money in the modern world may not be as easily or visibly identifiable as the shells, coins, brass rods, or stones of primitive communities, but its invisible boundaries emerge from sets of formal and informal rules that regulate is uses, allocation, sources, and quantity. How else, for instance, do we distinguish a bribe from a tribute or a donation, a wage from an honorarium, or an allowance from a salary? True, there are quantitative differences among these various payments. But surely, the special vocabulary conveys much more than diverse amounts. Detached from its qualitative differences, the world of money becomes undecipherable.
The model of special monies thus challenges the traditional utilitarian model of market money by introducing different fundamental assumptions in the understanding of money:
1. While money does serve as a key rational tool of the modern economic market, it also exists outside the sphere of the market and is profoundly shaped by cultural and social factors.
2. There are different kinds of monies; each special money is shaped by a particular set of cultural and social factors and is thus qualitatively distinct.
3. By focusing exclusively on money as a market phenomenon, it fails to capture the very complex range of characteristics of money as a nonmarket medium.
4. The assumed dichotomy between a utilitarian money and non-pecuniary values is false, for money under certain circumstances may be as singular and unexchangeable as the most personal object.
5. Given the assumptions above, the alleged freedom and unchecked power of money become untenable assumptions. Culture and social structure set inevitable limits to the monetization process by introducing profound controls and restrictions on the flow and liquidity of money. Extraeconomic factors systematically constrain and shape (a) the uses of money, earmarking, for instance, certain monies for specified uses; (b) the users of money, designating different people to handle specified monies; (c) the allocation system of each particular money; (d) the control of different monies; and (e) the sources of money, linking different sources to specified uses.
Even the quantity of money is regulated by more than rational market calculation. For instance, in The Philosophy of Money, Simmel suggests that money in "extraordinarily great quantities" can circumvent its "empty quantitative" nature: it becomes "imbued with that super-additum,' with fantastic possibilities that transcend the definiteness of numbers."
Even identical quantities of money do not "add up" in the same way. A $1,000 paycheck is not the same money as $1,000 stolen from a bank or $1,000 borrowed from a friend. And certain monies remain indivisible—an inheritance, for instance, or a wedding gift of money intended for the purchase of a particular kind of object. The latter is a qualitative unit that should not be spent partly for a gift and partly for groceries.
Exploring the quality of special monies does not deny money's quantifiable and instrumental characteristics but moves beyond them, suggesting very different theoretical and empirical questions from those derived from a purely economic model of market money.
FIND OUT MORE
About congregational systems theory:
About the many meanings of money: