HARVEST THE POWER
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Adults
WORKSHOP 4: TURNING POINTS AND MOMENTS OF GRACE
BY GAIL TITTLE, MATT TITTLE, GAIL FORSYTH-VAIL
© Copyright 2009 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 9/29/2014 9:12:31 PM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
WORKSHOP OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. — Christian scripture, I Corinthians 13:12
This workshop introduces the idea of turning points, or moments of grace—times when events or circumstances lead one's life in a new direction. After identifying personal turning points, participants consider conditions that can lead a congregation to a turning point.
This is the last of four workshops in the Identity unit. It focuses on vision, or big picture thinking, offering an opportunity to experience what Ronald Heifetz calls "getting on the balcony" to look at their lives and the life of the congregation.
GOALS
This workshop will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
WORKSHOP-AT-A-GLANCE
Activity | Minutes |
Welcoming and Entering | |
Opening | 2 |
Activity 1: Turning Points | 15 |
Activity 2: Moments of Grace | 40 |
Break | 10 |
Activity 3: Leadership and Management | 40 |
Activity 4: Adaptive Challenges | 10 |
Faith in Action: Responding to Adaptive Challenges | |
Closing | 3 |
Alternate Activity 1: Leadership and Management Alternate Scenario | 35 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
Reflect on the turning points and moments of grace in your own life, either by completing the timeline described in Activity 2 or by journaling. Share some of what you discover about yourself with your co-facilitator or with a trusted friend.
Examine each of the "player" instructions in the role play for Activity 3 (or Alternate Activity 2) and imagine yourself, in turn, as each of those people. Find in each of them the desire to do what is best for the congregation, remembering that each leader has an important contribution to make to the conversation.
To strengthen your leadership skills, explore the leadership development resources recommended at the end of the workshop, as well as Workshop 1, Leader Resource 1, Accessibility Guidelines for Workshop Presenters.
WORKSHOP PLAN
WELCOMING AND ENTERING
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Invite any participant who did not create a name tag in an earlier workshop to create one now.
OPENING (2 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the group in a circle. Ask a participant to light the chalice as you or another participant read the opening words.
Share "The Task of the Religious Community," Reading 580 in Singing the Living Tradition.
ACTIVITY 1: TURNING POINTS (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the group to hear a participant read the story aloud. After the reading, +invite participants to recall a time in their lives when an action, event, or chance meeting sent their lives in a new, unexpected direction. Allow a minute for silent reflection. Then invite participants to share their stories with one other person, explaining what happened and how their self-perception changed. Each person will have about three minutes to share. Encourage participants to practice deep listening, allowing the other person to tell their story without interruption.
Signal the group when three minutes have passed. When pairs have shared, regather the group. Invite people to think of a word or phrase that captures the essence of their experience. Wait a minute for people to think of their word or phrase. Then ask each person in turn to share it with the group.
ACTIVITY 2: MOMENTS OF GRACE (40 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants build awareness and understanding of events in their lives that were turning points — moments of grace — and reflect on how their past shapes their present and their vision for the future.
Distribute newsprint and markers. Ask participants to draw a line across the length of the paper. This line represents their life. Have them mark the line evenly for every five years of their life. If it is helpful to them, they can also write the actual year at each mark.
Next, invite participants to get comfortable and prepare for a guided meditation in which they will think about some events in their lives. Read the guided meditation in Leader Resource 2.
After the meditation, invite participants to mark their timelines with "moments of grace" in their lives. They can use different colors for different types of events if they like. With each event or moment, have them think about (or write down) what change resulted. Tell them they will have 15 minutes to complete this portion of the exercise. You may want to play some music during this period. Check in with each participant to ensure that they understand the activity.
After 15 minutes, invite participants to form groups of three to share their timelines. Ask them to describe particular events or moments and the effect each had on their lives. Allow each participant five minutes to share with their group, reminding them to switch speakers at five-minute intervals.
Then regather the whole group for discussion about the exercise. You might ask:
To conclude, tell the group that the next activity will guide them to look at how congregations experience turning points and what that has to do with leadership.
Including All Participants
This activity may evoke difficult memories. Be sensitive to participants' emotional states. Make it clear they may "pass" in both small and large group discussion.
ACTIVITY 3: LEADERSHIP AND MANAGEMENT (40 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Briefly review Leader Resource 1 of Workshop 3. Make sure participants are clear about the difference between management issues, which require a technical solution, and leadership issues, which require one to see a bigger picture of what is going on in the congregation. Remind them that a management question is, "Are we doing things right?" and a leadership question is, "Are we doing right things?" Convey the idea that congregations, like individuals, are sometimes faced with the unexpected when events or issues seem to call for moving in a new direction. Often issues that face a congregation present both management and leadership challenges. When leaders have the courage to ask not only "Are we doing things right?" but also "Are we doing right things?" the results can mean a turning point or moment of grace for the congregation and its work in the world.
Tell participants they will do a fishbowl role play. Some volunteers will role play members of a congregation's governing board, faced with a significant issue. You will give each of them a slip of paper with some details they will bring to a discussion of the issue. Those not in the role play are to pay attention to the governing board's discussion: When is the group asking management questions? When are they asking leadership questions? How might this scenario become a turning point or moment of grace for the congregation?
Ask for six volunteers to be the congregation's governing board. Give them individual information as instructed in Leader Resource 2.
Introduce the scenario:
Your congregation is planning to do some major work to repair the foundation of the building and to upgrade space. You have had a successful capital campaign and have raised nearly enough money — but not quite enough. Now you have heard from local government officials that you will not be granted a building permit until you have addressed some major accessibility issues in your building.
Allow discussion for ten minutes or until it seems to reach a natural stopping point. Then, invite those on the outside of the fishbowl to respond to the questions you have posted on newsprint. Record their responses on another sheet of newsprint. After those on the outside of the fishbowl have spoken, ask the role players to reflect on their experience. Add their observations to the newsprint list of responses.
ACTIVITY 4: ADAPTIVE CHALLENGES (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
An "adaptive challenge" is one which requires developing the organizational, cultural, and spiritual capacity to meet problems successfully according to our values and purposes. It often requires clarification and integration of competing values.
Description of Activity
Introduce the concept of "adaptive challenge" to the group. Post the prepared newsprint and read the definition to the group. Tell them this definition comes from the work of Ron Heifitz, director of the Leadership Education Project at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government. Read the definition a second time, underlining the words "developing," "capacity," "meet problems," and "values."
Invite participants to suggest some adaptive challenges faced by our society. What are events or issues that could lead to a turning point in how we proceed as a society?
After they have considered some of society's adaptive challenges, invite them to name some of the adaptive challenges facing their congregation. What are some challenges that require our congregation to develop some new organizational, cultural or spiritual capacities? What events or issues could lead to a turning point or moment of grace in how we proceed as a congregation?
CLOSING (3 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Description of Activity
This activity, developed for children, works well for adults too. You might consider using this as an alternative closing to any Harvest the Power workshop. Say:
How many of you have thrown a coin into a fountain and made a wish? When we do this, we sometimes have a superstitious idea that if we keep our wish a secret, it will magically come true. When I throw coins into a fountain, I usually don't remember what I wished for, and so I don't know if those wishes ever come true.
Today, I want to give you an idea for a new way to make wishes. I'm going to give you each a penny. Hold your penny in your hand and wish something not for yourself, but for this congregation.
Now I invite each of you to give that penny to someone else.
(Pause.)
You just gave another person your hopes and dreams, and you just received someone else's hopes and dreams for the congregation. They have given you an invitation to help them with their wish, and you have invited them to help you. Pass your pennies around again.
(Pause.)
And again. And again. So many wishes and hopes and dreams passing through so many hands. May you all be ready to help each other fulfill those wishes. I hope you will tell others what your wish is so that they can help you to fulfill it.
Keep your pennies and when you look at them, think of the hopes and dreams that we all have for this congregation and help each other make wishes come true.
FAITH IN ACTION: RESPONDING TO ADAPTIVE CHALLENGES
Description of Activity
What are some ways in which your congregation, or you personally, are involved with efforts to help individuals and communities develop new capacities in response to adaptive challenges? Explore the website of the Unitarian Universalist Service Committee for ways that organization partners with communities to develop new capacities to meet adaptive challenges.
Make a time commitment and/or a financial commitment to capacity building work, working wherever possible through congregational social justice projects.
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
TAKING IT HOME
For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. — Christian scripture, I Corinthians 13:12
Take your timeline home to share with family members or friends. Invite others to identify their own turning points or moments of grace. Find a way to celebrate how those moments have helped make you the person you are.
Consider with others how leaders might work to ensure the congregation asks "Are we doing right things?" along with "Are we doing things right?" Entrust a volunteer or two from your group to write a newsletter piece explaining turning points and moments of grace. Create a forum for others to respond with their own turning point stories.
Find Out More
You may wish to add resources that informed this workshop to your congregation's leadership library:
Beldon, Kenneth, editor, Wrestling with Adulthood: Unitarian Universalist Men Talk About Growing Up ( Boston , Skinner House Books, 2008)
Heifetz, Ronald A., Leadership Without Easy Answers (Cambridge, MA: The Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 1994)
Hochswender, Woody, Greg Martin and Ted Morino, The Buddha in Your Mirror: Practical Buddhism and the Search for Self (Middleway Press, 2001)
The Unitarian Universalist Service Committee's partnership model (at www.uusc.org/program_partners) for social justice work.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: LEADERSHIP AND MANAGEMENT ALTERNATE SCENARIO (35 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Conduct this activity exactly like Activity 3, Management and Leadership, substituting the scenario below for the one in Activity 3.
Your congregation's insurance company has informed you that you will no longer be able to purchase liability coverage unless you have a policy in place that addresses prevention of sexual abuse and misconduct, including the use of criminal background checks for volunteers and staff.
HARVEST THE POWER: WORKSHOP 4:
STORY 1: A PATH DIVERTED
Excerpted from "A Path Diverted" by Gregory S. Pelley. Originally published in Wrestling with Adulthood: Unitarian Universalist Men Talk About Growing Up, edited by Ken Beldon and published by Skinner House Books, 2008. Used with permission.
One morning last fall, I picked up [my daughter] Grace from preschool. She was now two and a half years old. When we arrived home, I was rushing to get into the house to do whatever it was I thought I had to get done at that moment. When I got to the back door, I turned to see her squatting on the sidewalk, blankie in one hand, poking a stick at something on the ground. Frustrated, I barked at her to get inside now. She stood and let the stick drop, still staring at whatever she had been prodding. I impatiently held the door and growled, "Come on, Grace! We need to get inside!" She took a half-step toward me and cocked her head to one side, her eyes never leaving that spot on the ground.
Suddenly it hit me. This is the clash between being an adult and being a child. At that moment, for Grace, nothing could be more important than what had caught her attention. It was time to wonder, to explore. I sighed, sad that I had given up the ability to be deeply interested in something crawling across the sidewalk on a warm afternoon. I let the door shut, walked the few steps to Grace's side, and quietly asked, "What do you see?" She picked up the stick and pointed. It took a moment for me to quiet down enough for my eyes to see.
An ant was dragging a crumb of bread that looked to be four times its size. The ant pulled and pushed and climbed on top of the crumb, then underneath it. The scene was excruciating, and fascinating. I sat down, and Grace slipped into my lap. She never said a word, keeping the stick in one hand and her blanket clutched in the other, thumb in her mouth. It took several minutes for the ant to move that crumb the last six inches to the edge of the sidewalk, before slipping down into the leaves and out of sight. Grace stood, dropped the stick, and walked up the stairs to the door. I didn't know what to do, what to say. At the top of the stairs, she turned to me and said, "Come on, Daddy."
HARVEST THE POWER: WORKSHOP 4:
STORY 2: CROSSING A BRIDGE
Excerpted from "Crossing a Bridge," by the Reverend Tim Kutzmark, Unitarian Universalist Church, Reading, Massachusetts, from Quest, a publication of the Church of the Larger Fellowship, January 2008. Used with permission.
The railroad bridge seemed to stretch out for a mile over the ravine. It linked the sharp rocky edge of where we stood to some far away, unknown ending. If you breathed deep you could still smell tar, steamy and sticky, that had long ago bubbled up on the bridge's beams, heated by the late summer sun. The paint had faded over the last few years, but the warning was still there: "No trespassing." We laughed, and threw rocks at the other sign, the one proclaiming: "Do not cross."
No one but us kids ever came out there during the day. At night, the teenagers would come. We would find their beer cans, cigarette butts, even, once, a pair of Fruit of the Loom underwear, waist size 28 inches. But by day, that edge of that bridge was ours. It was a great place to hide — from grown ups, and from the world that wanted us to be everything we were not. It was a great place to dream of everything we might become.
Shoes hung around our necks, with t-shirts tucked into the waist of our low slung shorts, we would walk a little way out onto that bridge, just out over the deep creek that ran below. The bigger, braver boys would walk forward along one metal rail, balancing and reveling in the heat that seared dirty toes, pain proving they were more than just boys pretending to be men. The smaller of us would cling to the sides of the bridge, holding on as we edged out over the water, cautiously reaching legs from railroad tie to railroad tie.
We always stopped a quarter of the way out. Screaming, and yelling, "Train!" we would turn and rush back to the dirt and rocks, laughing and rolling together till it was time to return to home. Home, that sometimes harder place, where dreams could drain away.
No one had yet crossed that railroad bridge, no one that we knew. None of us yet needed to know what waited at the far end. We'd heard stories. Ten years earlier the Nulandy twins got caught mid-bridge by the train. Jimmy jumped at the last minute, landing hard on the rocks. Kieran took the train full force on his back as he tried to outrun it. One bridge, two boys, two deaths. We always stopped a quarter of the way out and turned back.
But that day was different. Something had changed. That afternoon, we decided to cross over. We would claim the other side.
We walked out to where we always stopped. This time, no one yelled, "Train!" and retreated. In the shadows cast by the sun, edges were blurring and yesterday seemed done. And then, almost as one, we stepped beyond. We let go of something, something that was once strangely us, but now was no more.
We were in between. We were off balance. We were unknown to our own selves. As if on cue, the breeze picked up, whipping through the wooden beams. It tousled Terry's hair. He smiled. Another gust, cooler, caused me to stop. Christian hollered and tossed his t-shirt high above our heads, and for a moment it rode the wind out beyond the bridge. I shut my eyes, threw open my arms, wide, and let that same wind rush across my skin. Then, with eyes open, we stepped forward.
And that's how it can happen, how a day that seems so ordinary can somehow become a day of new beginning. Those moments do not come easily. We have to consciously claim them, create them. We have to dare them into being. In the end, we have to choose to cross over.
HARVEST THE POWER: WORKSHOP 4:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: MOMENTS OF GRACE GUIDED MEDITATION
The Parable of the Gem in the Robe comes from the Lotus Sutra.
Read the meditation slowly and calmly. It would be very effective to have a different voice (perhaps a co-facilitator) read the parable.
We are going to take a journey into our pasts. Please sit in a comfortable position.
(Pause as participants adjust their sitting position.)
Take three slow, deep breaths, counting to four with each inhale and again with each exhale.
(Pause to breathe deeply with the participants.)
You may close your eyes or focus on a particular object in the room. We're going to share a parable, or teaching tale, from the Buddhist tradition.
(Pause. Shift your voice, or change readers.)
A poor man visited a wealthy friend and the two enjoyed conversation, food, and drink far into the evening. After the poor man fell asleep, his friend was called away. Before he left, he sewed a priceless jewel into the lining of the poor man's coat. When the poor man awoke, he knew nothing of the gem.
Years passed, difficult years for the poor man, who traveled far and wide searching for food and clothing to keep himself alive, unaware that in the lining of his robe he carried a priceless jewel. After many years, he once again met his friend, who was astonished that he still lived in poverty. The friend showed him the jewel sewn in his robe, and the poor man was filled with gratitude and with joy, knowing that he would never go hungry again. We are like that poor man.
Think of a time that you received a gift you didn't recognize in that moment. Maybe it was the first time you learned about Unitarian Universalism... Maybe it was a piece of advice... Maybe it was meeting a new friend... .Maybe it was a decision to take one path instead of another that brought you to where you are today.
(Pause.)
Our entire lives are filled with these inconspicuous moments of grace — times when we are presented with choices or opportunities to recognize a gift in our lives. What are the moments of grace in your life? The events that changed the course of your life? These aren't just the usual milestones in life such as leaving home, finding a partner, having children, going to school, getting a job, retiring, and so on. These are also the subtle moments that resulted in our journey being what it has been. Moments, without which our lives might have been remarkably different, for better or for worse.
(Pause for about 30 seconds.)
What are your moments of grace? What are the jewels in your pocket that you didn't initially know were there? What gifts have you received along the way that have brought you to this time and place in your life? Take a moment to silently think about your moments of grace.
(Pause 60 seconds.)
As you are ready, please bring your attention back to the room with another three slow, deep breaths, counting to four with each inhale and again with each exhale.
(Lead the group in deep breathing.)
HARVEST THE POWER: WORKSHOP 4:
LEADER RESOURCE 2: ACCESSIBILITIES AUDIT SCENARIO
Cut along the dotted lines to create six different "roles" for the fishbowl role play. Give each of the six volunteer players a different slip.
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Player One: Chair of the Board. You are overwhelmed by this latest news, and very worried. There just doesn't seem to be any more money to be had from the congregation and the accessibility upgrades will be costly. You are afraid this will torpedo the whole project.
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Player Two: You are angry with local government for imposing this on the congregation and believe they have no right to do so. Your attitude is that they should support the building repairs and upgrades the congregation is undertaking, rather than undermining them.
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Player Three: You have arthritis in your hands and in your knees and sometimes find the front steps and the door handles difficult to negotiate. You are quiet about this difficulty and are not sure you are ready to share your experience with this group.
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Player Four: You believe in your heart that making the congregation more accessible to those with mobility impairments is the right thing to do, and are convinced that a way can be found to do it. You are often seen as the "impractical" one in the group.
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Player Five: You wonder if there is any practical way to financially manage the accessibility upgrades. From your point of view, the upgrades you have planned will benefit many people and accessibility upgrades only a few.
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Player Six: You have been the representative to the building task force and you are exhausted. You have done all that you can do to get this project ready to the point where construction and renovation can begin — and now this!! You are discouraged and feeling unappreciated.
HARVEST THE POWER: WORKSHOP 4:
LEADER RESOURCE 3: SAFE CONGREGATION SCENARIO
Cut along the dotted lines to create six different "roles" for the fishbowl role play. Give each of the six volunteer players a different slip.
Player One: Chair of the Board. You believe that having liability coverage is crucial to the well-being of the congregation and that you have a fiduciary responsibility to see to it that there is a safe congregation policy.
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Player Two: You are concerned about finances, especially about any possible costs of criminal background checks. You are also concerned because a large donor has stated that they view background checks as an invasion of privacy.
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Player Three: You are concerned about the implementation of any safe congregation policy. Who will be responsible? How will they get training? Do our current staff members have enough hours to take this on?
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Player Four: You have been reading in the papers about child sexual abuse among volunteers and professionals who are entrusted with the well-being of children. From your point of view, a safe congregation policy cannot come soon enough.
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Player Five: You keep thinking about the first UU Principle, the inherent worth and dignity of every person. How does this Principle apply when it comes to protecting children? What about our volunteers? Do background checks violate their worth and dignity?
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Player Six: You have been with this congregation for a long time and you trust everyone here. Requiring background checks and other policies seems to be unnecessary. You wonder if there really is any need for liability insurance — and resent the insurance company for pushing the congregation around.