Activity time: 25 minutes

Share this quote from “All Our Losses” by John H. Nichols:

Since our experiences, perspectives, and theological orientations differ, giving advice is a hazardous matter for anyone. But there is more commonality in our approach to loss and grieving than it might seem. One of the essentials of coping with loss is taking ourselves very seriously. Feelings of sorrow or confusion, even anger, are real and must be expressed in order for healing to occur. When we cease trying to push our pain away we discover, little by little, that we can bear it. Having freed ourselves of the fear that we cannot bear the pain, we discover that others are genuinely reaching out to us. They are not frightened by our grief as perhaps we thought they would be. Suddenly, the larger world begins to open up again and feels more secure than it felt at the moment of our loss.

Far down the road of grieving, we recognize that in the context of a larger reality, which some Unitarian Universalists call God, we still have that which was lost, and much more. This life always gives us far more than it takes away. With this conviction we turn again to the task of living and to those near at hand who need us to live well.

Lead a discussion of the John Nichols reading. Most people will have read the “All Our Losses” pamphlet text, but some may have read the longer piece “Loss: The Litmus Test of a Religious Faith” (Handout 3 from Workshop 3). Invite any who have read the longer piece to offer one or two points that struck them from their reading.

Lead a discussion using these questions to guide you:

• What Unitarian Universalist messages have you received or heard about grief and mourning? Are they adequate? If not, what messages would be helpful?
• When you have been bereaved, what supports have you received and from where? Have you provided support to others in times of grief? How have you traveled with others through the valley of the shadow of death?
• How can our faith community be helpful in supporting those who are bereaved?